A/N: Okay, so this is really it! My story is coming to a close, once and for all. I didn't want to say much up here, so make sure you check out the last A/N for more info!
Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note. Never have, never will.
FIVE YEARS LATER
I woke up next to Misa, like I always did. She was still asleep, snoring softly. I gazed at her for a minute or two, surprised at how pretty she'd stayed. It had taken me almost a year to get her out of jail, but with an amazing lawyer, deep pockets, and a little help from Kira I'd reduced her sentence and settled her with a heavy fine.
She'd had our son while she was still in jail, but I took immediate custody of him. It hadn't been easy taking care of a baby, but my mom had been a big help. When Misa was out of jail we moved into a nice house together. I was still working with the task force, and Kira remained undiscovered. After L died a few people tried to take over the Kira case, but no one was strong enough to do anything. I killed them all.
I got out of bed and stretched, heading over to the closet. Behind the shoes and under the hanging clothes was a fireproof safe with four locks and a retinal scanner. I opened it, and under the fake bottom I checked to make sure the two Death Notes were still there, unharmed. I flipped through them, and when I was satisfied no one had touched them I put them back and locked up the safe.
I slipped a t-shirt over my head and made my way into my son's bedroom, waking him up to take him to preschool.
"Ryu, wake up," I nudged his shoulder gently. He rolled onto his back and yawned. "Good morning." I kissed his cheek. Sometimes my son was the only thing that kept me going.
His dirty blonde hair was getting a little shaggy, drifting past his ears almost onto his shoulders. He had high cheekbones, accented by his wide dark brown eyes. He had inherited Misa's smile and my body structure. He was already a little tall for his age, and I expected he'd be one of the tallest boys in his kindergarten class. His addiction to sweets, especially strawberry cheesecake, reminded me of L. I hoped Ryu would grow up to be something like his namesake.
Not a day went by that I didn't think about L. I carried a picture of him from Watari in my pocket, and had various others framed throughout the house. I told Ryu all about L, never letting him forget.
"It's time to get ready for preschool," I said brightly, putting on my familiar façade I always had around Ryu.
"Okay Daddy," he smiled groggily, stumbling out of bed. I stayed with him as he brushed his teeth and got dressed, pouring his cereal and milk for him.
"Good morning!" Misa said in a chipper tone as she bounded down the stairs during breakfast. I stood up to give her an obligatory hug and kiss before handing her a bowl for cereal.
"Hi Mommy!" Ryu responded, waving.
"How's my little bunny this morning?" Misa cooed, ruffling Ryu's hair.
"Good," he giggled.
"Hurry up and finish your breakfast, we need to get going," I reminded him sternly. He nodded and continued eating. Misa frowned.
"Light," she said in a warning tone. I rolled my eyes.
"You don't need to coddle him that way," I mumbled. Misa sighed. The three of us ate together quietly, an awkward silence filling the air.
"Alright, time to go." I stood up stiffly. "Say goodbye to your mother."
Ryu hurried over to Misa and she gave him a wet kiss on the cheek, smoothing his hair back down.
"I love you, bunny," she beamed.
"You too Mommy," Ryu smiled.
I helped him into his car seat and drove him to his preschool in silence. When we got there I walked him in and gave him a light hug before driving away.
I went to work like a robot, the meaningless cases of murder and rape flashing before me. After L's death I never put any emotion into anything. Just the thought of him choked me up with tears.
Matsuda greeted me at work with a grin. He was the only remaining member of the original task force except for me. I'd had to kill the others.
We worked together all day, making light conversation about unimportant things. I eventually confessed to Matsuda that L and I had been lovers, and he was surprisingly open to the idea. The fact that he'd married Sayu also helped us build our friendship. Misa, Sayu, Matsuda and I spent a lot of time together.
"Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow," Matsuda shrugged at the end of the day, keeping a light smile on his face.
"Yeah, see you tomorrow," I said, deadbeat.
Misa had already picked up Ryu from preschool so I drove straight home, wishing I could simply drive my car off a cliff instead. Misa tried to make me go to a therapist almost everyday, but I refused. I'd have to confess that I was Kira to really explain my problems, and that wasn't going to happen.
When I got home Misa was laying the dinner plates out on the table, wearing an apron. Although I had to admit she was beautiful, I didn't find her sexually attractive. We'd only had sex one time, yet she insisted on always trying to wear extra short skirts and especially low cut tops to turn me on. Nothing worked.
"How was work?" Misa asked, hanging up my jacket and kissing me on the cheek.
"The same," I muttered, flipping through the mail. I didn't ask her about her day. I didn't care.
"Watari's out of the hospital," Misa told me cautiously.
"Oh yeah?" I perked up. "We should visit him soon." Watari was the only person who really understood how I felt about L, especially after he died. I spent a lot of time talking with him, and he'd been in the hospital for the past couple of months after a bad accident.
"Daddy!" Ryu galloped into the room. I scooped him up in my arms.
"Hey bud, how was school today?" I asked.
"I made a picture," he said proudly, pointing to the refrigerator. Misa had already hung it up.
My heart caught in my throat. It was a finger painting of a young man with black hair pointed across his forehead and black circles under his eyes. It was only drawn by a four year old, but it was clear that it was supposed to be L. I put Ryu down softly.
"Is that…is that L, bud?" I said, my voice strangled. Ryu nodded. "It's great. I'll be right back." I hurried out of the kitchen up to my bedroom, stretching myself out on the bed. I tried to blink back tears, sick of crying.
"What's the matter, Light?" Ryuk questioned in his raspy voice, perched on the chair in our bedroom. He was chomping on an apple, probably from Misa.
"Nothing," I replied.
"You sure do cry a lot for no reason then," he chuckled.
"No, I meant that nothing's the problem. Even if I were to kill myself, I'd never see L again. I've used the Death Note, so I'm not going to heaven or Hell. I'm going nowhere, to nothing," I explained.
"Bummer," Ryuk laughed.
"I really made a big mistake when I killed L. I realized something recently, did you know that?" I asked, somewhat using Ryuk as my therapist. "There is no justice without love. Nothing seems fair when L is gone," I sniffled.
"You're not getting anyone's sympathy over here. You're the reason he's gone, genius," Ryuk hooted unhelpfully.
"I wish there was some sort of Shinigami time machine or something," I griped.
"Light?" Misa called out.
"What?" I replied, slightly irritated.
"I think we should talk," she said seriously. It was the first time I'd ever heard her say something in a voice low-pitched enough I didn't have to strain my ears to listen. "I heard what you told Ryuk. Is your life really that miserable?" she asked, honestly concerned.
"No, I was just upset," I lied. I didn't need Misa to worry.
"Aw come on, don't lie to your wife, Light," Ryuk sniggered.
"Please, tell me the truth. I want you to be happy," Misa sat next to me on our bed, placing her hand on my shoulder. For once I didn't jerk away. I hung my head, my hair flopping into my eyes.
"I'll never be happy without him," I admitted. "The only reason I'm still here is because of Ryu. I promised L I would never abandon my son," I said firmly.
"But Light—you're like an empty shell. I see how you are. I don't know how much help you're being to Ryu," Misa gazed into my eyes. "I love you so much Light, that's why it hurts me to see you this way."
"I'm not going to abandon my son. He needs a father," I refused to give up, although I was sick of fighting.
"He looks up to Matsu like a father. And if you were to…leave, I would find someone else," Misa tried to persuade me.
"If you love me so much, why are you trying to talk me into suicide?" I wondered. "I wouldn't even go to heaven or Hell. I'd be nothing."
"At least you wouldn't miss L anymore."
I sat in silence for nearly ten minutes, considering what Misa was saying. Thoughts of suicide crossed my mind almost everyday, but I never planned to act on my feelings. Ryu needed me; I wasn't going to give him up. But Misa had a point, it might be in his best interest if Misa remarried a stronger man.
"What about Kira, and the Death Note?" I asked.
"I'll continue with the killings until the pages run out," she smiled, using our pledge (1). I grinned back. Oddly, the idea of death was liberating.
"When? Tonight?" my heart started pounding. I was excited for the first time in years. The pain! The pain would finally be gone.
"Whenever," Misa said sadly.
"Misa…" I let my voice trail off. I leaned over and gave her a kiss, possibly the most meaningful kiss I'd ever given her. "Thank you."
"Oh, you're welcome!" she beamed, back to her usual cheery personality.
"Ryuk, can you kill me?" I requested, a smile playing on my lips.
"It'd be my pleasure," he chortled.
"Just give me a second. I need to talk to Ryu." I scrambled off of the bed and downstairs where Ryu was playing with his dinner.
"Hey bud! Can I talk to you?" I asked, squatting next to him. He nodded, giving me a toothy grin. "You were named after L Lawliet, the greatest detective in the world. No matter what you do in life, I never want you to forget that. I need to say goodbye to you know. For a very, very long time." Suddenly I felt myself choking up. Ryu looked up at me with wide eyes.
"How long, Daddy?"
"For…look, that's not important. Just remember that I love you, okay?" I grabbed him and held him close to me, breathing deeply.
"I love you too, Daddy," Ryu responded, clearly a little puzzled.
"You have a good heart, Ryuzaki. You'll be a good person." I whispered in his ear. Trying to collect myself, I hugged him once more before walking back to my bedroom. Misa was waiting outside, tears already streaming down her cheeks.
"Goodbye, Misa," I kissed her forehead and closed the bedroom door. I was alone with Ryuk.
"Ready?" he asked, not laughing for once. I simply nodded, too emotional to talk. The pleasure that had been racing through my veins only moments before was shattered by saying goodbye to my son. Ryuk pulled out the Death Note that Misa had probably pulled from the safe when I was downstairs and wrote my name before fading out of the room.
I pulled the picture of L out of my wallet, grasping it with my fingertips and peering at L's memorable face. As familiar tears trickled down my cheeks I wondered if they were finally tears of joy. A drop stained L's face, denting his rare smile. Suddenly I was sobbing, inconsolable. My heart broke and my chest began to burn, the fire that L had ignited inside of me shining brightly. I gasped for breath, clutching for air even though I knew it was no use.
A sudden feeling of serenity passed over me, and a broken "hallelujah" escaped my lips as I passed into oblivion.
(1) I know that the pages never run out, it's just a cute little pledge between them. It's supposed to mean I'll write names forever.
Wow…guys, it's over! Sweetness is truly, honestly, 100% over! Except for some outtakes I promise to eventually post. Haha.
First off, I just want to say thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed! There's been an overwhelming amount of people for the last chapter, yay to all of you! I love you all SO MUCH! But I especially want to thank one person in particular…
MissPumpkinHead, you are my inspiration! Just letting everyone know that this story never would've existed without her, because she introduced me to Death Note. Thanks for all the pestering about updating and helpful proofreads. Yah so mmmazing.
This story certainly isn't the last of me you'll see on FF. I plan on starting a new story that includes a good amount of LightxMikami action, with of course some L in there too. Check it ou!
THANKS SO MUCH!!!!!
Heh-heh, and for old times sake…PLEASE REVIEW!