To my anons:
Catof'thaDune88- Bravo! Kudos to you for being one of the very few people that completely caught on! I'm so proud of you.
Asami-chan37- Thank you for your uplifting review. I'm terribly sorry for your addiction. Lol.
Shinigami Twin 04- Yes finals are a bitch (and I only know what high school finals are like. I'm assuming that they're worse in college). I am amazed that you actually had time to read a silly little fic like mine and leave an extensive analysis. Ok the doctors on the Avalon all were put under lelouch's geass and he made them forget everything. I thought that it would be implied after how Suzaku realized that the one nurse had forgotten about it but I guess I should have made that clearer. Although, that's not to say that everyone has forgotten that Zero was aboard the Avalon. I'm glad that you came along for the ride but just know that while you're sitting back in this limo, your driver is drunk and has no GPS.
Lickumz- God I love it when anonymous people review. It makes me so happy when unregistered people take the time out of their day to comment on a fic. Your review kinda opened my eyes. You're totally right about Lelouch caring more about Suzaku than Suzaku caring about Lelouch in the anime. This must have been what was pissing me off the whole time about Suzaku. Damn, Lelouch had it so much harder than Suzaku. He was always considering Suzaku while formulating his Zero plans. He was always protecting Suzaku. And Suzaku didn't ever care. Ugh anime Suzaku disgusts me. Sorry for my rant. Thank you for your wonderful review.
And a HUGE thanks to Neo Diji for pretty much being my unofficial beta. This chapter is as much hers as it is mine. Seriously, this chapter would never have gotten finished without her.
Alright, this chapter is going to be a little different and I'm going to be switching off between Lelouch and Suzaku telling the story. I'll let you know when it changes. I made this chap uber long for you people.
I was Zero, instigator of the rebellion, leader of the Black Knights.
They had all assumed that the reason I wasn't talking was because I had sustained some injury to my throat. I refused to let them look at it and sat quietly while they stitched my chest back together. During this, Tamaki burst into the room, yelling that Ougi had been shot. I learned that he had been speaking privately with a Britannian woman who he said was an informant. It was she who shot him. I wondered vaguely if Ougi had the same problem as me; a lover who happened to be an enemy. He always had such a strong desire for peace and he had been so eager to join the Special Zone of Japan when it was offered. Maybe it was because of that woman.
What a sad end men like Ougi and myself are fated to meet. The delicate balance of love and hate is so easily disrupted. Ougi and I were the naïve ones to think that we could keep it up forever…to think that there didn't have to be a winner.
They brought him in on a gurney a few minutes later. That's when I decided that there was no hope for us anymore. Because of Suzaku, my geass was now ineffective. I could not give out orders. C.C. had been taken. Now, Ougi had been shot. The only ones left were Toudou and Diethard. My time on the Avalon had informed me that Schneizel was on his way to Area 11 with a massive Britannian armada. My entire army was falling apart. There was no choice but for me to accept it. We were fighting a losing battle now.
I was a failure.
I slipped out of the room in the chaos. While my feet took a familiar path down the halls of the prestigious school, I took the glove off of my right hand and let it fall to the floor. Next came the left glove. I stumbled and grabbed the wall for support.
This costume…This identity had become cumbersome. I had to abandon it.
I steadied myself and tore off the black cape. It floated to the floor behind me as I resumed walking. I discarded all the outer layers of my bloodstained clothing and left them lying on the ground in my wake.
I reached the door to my room. This part of the campus was my home. I entered and pulled back my hand as I automatically reached for the lights. Zero deserved the darkness. I kept the lights off in my bedroom as well when I stepped through the door. In my closet, I blindly reached for my black school uniform and laid it out nicely on my bed while I stripped off the remnants of Zero. The fresh fabric was ironed and clean and I felt back in order as I straightened the collar and buttoned it. It felt almost as if it was just another day and I was getting ready for school.
The door of my bedroom slid open behind me. I whipped around only to face a frail girl seated in a wheelchair. My beloved sister, Nunally, gasped.
"Lelouch, is that you?" When I looked at her face, I remembered why I had decided to become Zero. Seeing her innocent, beautiful face made me realize just how corrupt I had become. I had lost sight of my goal. I mean, she was my Nunally. She was my everything. Not even my feelings for Suzaku could compare.
I reached out both of my hands and cupped her face. Oh right now I wished so much to tell her how greatly I loved her. "I want to know why you have been acting so strange, Lelouch." She began in a whisper. "I want to know where you have been going. Does any of this have to do with Suzaku? Haven't you two made up yet?" she asked softly. When I didn't answer, she put a delicate hand on my arm. "Lelouch…what's wrong?"
That's when another person barged into the room. It was Milly Ashford.
"Nunally! Thank goodness you are here. We've been searching everywhere for you-" she stopped when she noticed me, her eyes widened. "Lelouch! You're back…h-how?" She suddenly shook her head furiously. "We don't have time for this! This entire school is being evacuated. The Avalon is here…Zero has disappeared and the Black Knights are retreating. We have to go now!"
I knelt down in front of Nunally and had her climb onto my back. Her wheelchair would only slow us down. Then, the three of us were running through the halls of Ashford Academy. I passed numerous fleeing soldiers of the Black Rebellion. On my side. Yet I was running the same direction as my fellow classmates, towards safety. Towards Britannia. Had I been a better man, I might be running in the opposite direction, along with my loyal soldiers whom I had abandoned. Had I been a man like Suzaku.
We were herded onto the lift like frightened sheep. It was pathetic. I was at odds with myself over this foolish decision of mine. My wounds had reopened yet again from the strain of carrying my sister. I knew setting foot on the Avalon again was a bad idea. While I was sure that I had put every single one of the surgeons and nurses under my geass, there were still two other people aboard who had been in the operating room and had seen my true face.
Two massive threats.
I was Suzaku Kurururi, Honorary Britannian, personal knight of Princess Euphemia.
We sat in silence as I concentrated on operating the Lancelot. The sun was beginning to rise over the gray water of the ocean. The woman, C.C., was crouched behind my chair with her arms crossed over the top, and her long green hair was slipping forward onto my shoulder. She was completely relaxed, and it was unsettling.
"Would you care to tell me where you are taking me?"
"I see. Did V.V. order it? Did you promise to bring me to him in exchange for receiving a geass?" I preferred not to answer her. The way she put it made it sound rather low, even for me. "You're losing it." she commented. I had the urge to slap her.
"Just look at yourself. You're a mess." I didn't think she was talking about my clothes stained with Lelouch's blood. She giggled and gave a heavy sigh, as if I were some child throwing a temper tantrum and she now had to deal with it. "I've seen it all, you know." she continued. "The crazy things that people do when they're in love."
"I'm not in love." I denied.
"Then what would you call it?" she challenged. I hesitated. I knew there wasn't a word for what I was feeling.
"It's like having an obsession with fixing something that you know is beyond repair." I closed my eyes for a moment. "No. Perhaps it's not beyond repair. It's because I'm not strong enough." Out of the corner of my eye, I looked at C.C. "I want you to end your contract with Lelouch."
"As a geass user yourself, you should know that that is impossible." She replied calmly.
"Geass is an instrument of sin! Mankind should never be given such power!"
"And yet you took one on yourself."
"Someone once told me that you couldn't change the world without getting your hands dirty. I've come to accept that." Suzaku said, bowing his head.
"How contemptible of you." She smiled. I had nothing to say to that. It was the truth. We continued to sit in silence until the island finally came into view. When the Lancelot touched down on solid earth, all of the sudden a strange feeling vibrated through my body. I panicked instantly as my brain was overloaded with bizarre images.
"W-What is this?" I cried.
"Don't panic." C.C.'s voice spoke softly from within my mind. "This is a trap set for trespassers."
I was Lelouch Lamperouge, student of Ashford Academy, brother of Nunally Lamperouge.
"Oh my god, Lelouch, you're bleeding!" exclaimed Rivals loudly when he saw me "What on earth happened to you?" I opened my mouth, but then remembered I couldn't speak. "I'll go get help for you, Lelouch. Wait here."
No. That idiot. I can't let him tell anyone about my injuries!
"What seems to be the problem here?"
I was certain that if there was a god, he must hate me. All of the worst possible scenarios seemed to be playing out. I turned around, already knowing that there was no escaping the danger that I was in.
I stared up at the two people with narrowed eyes, daring them to say it. My heart was pounding rapidly. I stood in a group of my classmates, trying to blend in as much as possible, but it didn't matter anymore. Even in the same uniform as the people around me, I still stuck out like a sore thumb carrying my sister while blood was slowly seeping through my shirt.
"Those are some serious injuries. Wouldn't you agree, Cecile?" The bespectacled man in the white lab coat said to the woman beside him. She looked a bit nervous, but at the same time, I could feel her pity for me. The man, Lloyd, if I remembered his name correctly, smiled devilishly. "You wouldn't mind telling us how you received those injuries, would you?"
I snarled, hoping my eyes were enough to convey my utter hatred for them. If they wanted to, they could blow my cover right here. Right in front of the entire school. Right in front of my little sister.
"Now Now," chuckled Lloyd. "You don't have to get all defensive. An innocent schoolboy like you has nothing to hide, right?" Lloyd's assistant, Cecile took out a gun and pointed it at us. Some of the students nearby screamed and soon everyone was alerted to what was happening.
"If at all possible, we don't want to hurt you." Cecile said.
"Why don't you come with us…Lelouch…" Lloyd suggested.
They knew my name. Was it possible that they knew my last name as well? Nunally's arms tightened around my neck. I hiked my sister into a better position after taking a few steps to show that she was coming with me.
We left the room where all of Ashford's rescued students were being kept. Lloyd and his assistant were walking straight, but I knew that if I took the hallway that turned right, I would reach the hanger that housed all of the Avalon's knightmares. I stopped.
"Now, really. What good would escaping do you at this point? You won't even be able to stand for much longer." Lloyd said, turning around. The man looked as though he were enjoying taunting me. I was wasting time here. In my mind, I was simulating how far I could get if I made a break for it now.
"Please!" said Nunally suddenly, sensing my unease. "I don't know what you think my brother has done, but I believe that he only wishes to go after his dear friend, Suzaku. So please…let him go."
"Is that an order, Nunally vi Britannia?" Lloyd asked. Nunally was taken by surprise. She gasped softly. Cecile also gasped. She turned to Lloyd.
"Is it true then?"
"Of course it is. I recognized the eleventh prince, Lelouch vi Britannia, the moment I saw his face. He looks so much like Marianne the Flash."
"My brother and I have given up that name." Nunally stated. I noticed that Cecile was looking terribly conflicted. I was an enemy of Britannia, but I was also a prince of Britannia. She stepped forward and spoke to me.
"From when I met you at the festival, from all the things that Suzaku told us about you…I never would have imagined…"
Imagined why I would become Zero? Stupid woman. I wouldn't expect you to understand.
"It must have been so hard for you." Cecile continued. "Against your father. Against your friends…" If this woman didn't shut up, I was going to kill her. "And Suzaku…" She looked as if she wanted to pull us into an embrace. I prayed that she had the decency to restrain herself.
"It was hard." said Nunally, "But my brother and I have each other. That is all that matters." She was right. She was right and she didn't even know what was really going on. Nunally was all that mattered. All that I needed in this world was Nunally.
Cecile looked like she had reached some sort of decision. She nodded and walked past us down the hall.
"Come with me." she said.
"Cecile! What on earth do you think you're doing?" The count cried. "Think of who we're dealing with!"
"Oh shut up. You want your Lancelot back, don't you?" she replied.
Once in the hanger, she led us to an old Sutherland that looked like it had been put together from spare parts. I was unimpressed. Cecile noticed my skeptical expression.
"It's nothing fancy and it has no float system, but we have given it aerial equipment. I'm sure it can get you to wherever you need to go." she said. I stood there, with Nunally still clinging to me. Was I sure I wanted to do this? What a time to hesitate.
"Go, Lelouch." encouraged Nunally, speaking softly in my ear. She could always read my true desires. Even if I couldn't read them myself. I walked up to Cecile, my eyes not leaving hers. Slowly, I let her take Nunally from me. This would be my last confrontation with Suzaku. The future was uncertain and I knew I might never see my sister again. These people were all I could trust now.
I took the key that Lloyd offered me and climbed into the Sutherland.
I would go to save my witch. I would go to regain my voice. I would go to seek retribution, whether it be against Suzaku or myself.
I was Kururugi Suzaku, geass user, murderer.
When I came to, I was standing outside the Lancelot, on the rocky shore of the island. C.C. stood in front of me, twirling the Lancelot's key lazily.
"Those…were your memories, weren't they? What just happened." I said.
"Do you see now? Those of us who possess a code, we are immortal." She walked back over to the Lancelot. "Suzaku Kururugi, I, too, have a promise to keep to Lelouch. So you must understand that I would rather sink myself to the bottom of the ocean than face V.V. and the Geass Order right now." I stood up as she got back into my knightmare. "The Guren is coming. I will engage it in battle for you." she said.
"Why the hell would you do that?"
"The real reason you are here is Lelouch, isn't it? I'm sure he'll be here soon as well." She disappeared into the machine. I watched the Lancelot take to the sky with its sword drawn. Realizing that the path ahead was now clear, I turned and walked into the foreboding cave.
I wasn't sure what awaited me beyond the great stone door in front of me. I stared at the intricate designs and strange markings that were now somehow connected to me. The mystery of geass, unfortunately, was something I may never live to completely comprehend. It was an unworldly power. It had no place in the hands of humans.
I reached out my hand to the door, but suddenly I felt something graze my shoulder and ricochet off the wall. Slowly, I turned around.
There was Lelouch, facing me with a gun. His hand was steady. He was entirely serious…and deadly. He had forsaken his Zero costume for a simple Ashford Academy uniform, but to me he looked just as threatening. My heartbeat sped up significantly only by looking at him. All of the emotions that he brought out in me came rushing back.
"You can speak now." I told him.
"Why did you do it, Suzaku?" Lelouch hissed, stepping out of the shadows. "Why have you stained your hands with such a curse? Was it revenge for what happened to Euphie?" I grit my teeth angrily after hearing her name spill from his lips.
"I did it to put an end to Zero!" I shouted. "I won't lie. I wanted revenge. I wanted power. I came to realize that I have no one but myself to blame for letting this go on so long. People are just pawns in your game, aren't they, Lelouch? You'd sacrifice even members of your own family!"
"Would it only make you angrier if I told you that I have sacrificed everything for you?" Lelouch demanded. "I sacrificed my life for you. I sacrificed the battle for Japan for you. I even sacrificed Nunally by coming here. And yet you are so stupid it makes me want to…" Lelouch took a deep breath. He steadied his weapon. "I've seen what will happen to me if this continues. I've seen what I will become. I think it is time…that I sacrifice you, Suzaku." My eyes widened. He pulled the trigger.
…I turned to look at the bullet embedded in the stone inches away from my head.
"What?" snarled Lelouch. He fired again, and again, emptying his gun. He missed every single time. He howled in disbelief and tossed his gun away angrily. After panting for a moment he suddenly began to laugh. "I get it. I get it now! Your geass power is quite convenient, Suzaku. Tell me, what else can it do?"
"Would you like a demonstration, Lelouch?" I asked. I had only been told of my geass power and I was eager to try it out fully. I could justify using it against someone like Lelouch. I activated my right eye once again.
Lelouch took a few staggering steps as he hunched over with his arms wrapped around himself, screaming in agony. It was far more than I expected. I approached Lelouch. "I can make you experience pain…" I began, my adrenaline rushing, "Sickness…coldness…" Lelouch backed away from me until his shivering body was against the wall. "Fatigue…" I said. I watched his eyes become tired and I caught him before he could fall. "I could make your heart stop beating, Lelouch. Just like that." He clutched his chest, staring up at me with eyes that were not as frightened as they were angry. We were so close, I couldn't help but say what else was on my mind. "I could even…" Lelouch moaned and arched up against me. I smirked. "Well, I guess I don't need my geass for that."
"You…bastard." Lelouch panted. I let loose a sigh into Lelouch's dark, silky hair.
"See? And that is the problem. Although my geass gives me complete control over your body, it can't mess with your mind."
"Is it fate that we must be opposite in every possible way?" Lelouch asked. He sounded…sad. This was not what I wanted to hear. I came expecting a fight, but Lelouch was just…
"Will you sacrifice yourself to me?" I breathed.
"No," he answered. "You are going to have to make me surrender. I don't want to be the type of person too proud to admit defeat."
"Very well." I couldn't contain the impatience in me any longer. I kissed him. I was rough and messy, seeking only to dominate. He fought me at first, but he was tired and injured. Eventually, his stamina failed him and he allowed himself to be swept away, what we both knew was inevitable. My body grew hot as I latched my teeth onto him, caressing him with my fingers and my tongue and shoving him against the wall. If I could have continued I would have forgotten where we were, who we were, what we were doing here. I would only be a man. Lelouch would only be a man. Our only concern would be each other.
Lelouch's weak sounds of protest were not really protests at all. He desired with all his heart for me to possess him. I wanted to touch the rest of him so badly. I wanted to make him mine again on the same island where this had all started. But I didn't have enough time.
"Take…take care of Nunally, Suzaku." Lelouch whispered. His wrapped his arms around my neck. I saw the tears that sparkled in his eyes before he closed them. He lost consciousness and his slender body slumped forward onto my chest.
I had won.
I was Lelouch vi Britannia, traitor to my country, a disappointment.
Suzaku dragged me before the Britannian Emperor. My arms were bound behind me. Suzaku was covering my left eye with one hand and with the other, he had me by the hair, forcing me to look upon the face of my father. This was the man who had let my mother die, who had called Nunally weak, who had stripped us of our claim to the throne.
"Former seventeenth heir to the throne, Lelouch vi Britannina. It's been a long time, hasn't it, my errant son?"
If only I could use my geass…I could have the Emperor of Britannia completely under my control. But of course, Suzaku would never let me do such a thing.
"I have a request, Your Majesty." said Suzaku.
"As a reward for capturing Zero, I will grant it. What is it you desire? Money? Power?" Charles zi Britannia asked.
I wished that I would never forget what Suzaku said after that.
"My only request, Your Majesty, is that you spare his life." Suzaku replied. Even though I had lost to Suzaku, even though he was my friend and he had shot me, betrayed me, and lied to me, I knew that he loved me. The Emperor let out an enormous, booming laugh.
"Why you hold such an interest in my unworthy son is beyond me. However, I will grant your request." He stood up. As he drew nearer to me, I realized with a sickening horror his eyes. His geass-stricken eyes. Now my father addressed me. "There is another way to make this disappear. I will rewrite all of your memories. You will remember nothing about being Zero, about the death of your mother, about geass, about Nunally-"
"No!" I cried. I struggled but Suzaku held me down.
"-You'll remember none of it."
"STOP! YOU'RE TAKING AWAY WHAT'S MOST PRECIOUS TO ME AGAIN. FIRST MOTHER AND NOW NUNALLY!"
"Charles zi Britannia engraves in you…memories of a false life."
I was Nunally Lamperouge.
It had been a few days since the battle between Britannia and the Black Knights had ended. The dust was still settling. Area 11 was still in disarray. The Tokyo settlement had been all but destroyed. The thing that worried me most, however, was the fact that my brother still had not returned.
I was back at Ashford. After all that had happened, I was still Nunally Lamperouge and things would go on like they had in the past.
…or so I thought.
I was sitting outside on the balcony, wishing that I could see the night stars, when I heard the door open behind me. Someone else had joined me.
"C.C. is that you? Is my brother with you?" I asked hopefully.
"I'm afraid Lelouch isn't coming home." C.C. answered. I dropped the paper crane that I was in the middle of folding. C.C. walked around to the front of my wheelchair so that she was facing me. "I think now would be the best time to give you this. It was Lelouch's." She placed an object in my lap. "It was very important to him and I think you have a right to know about it." I let my hands wander over it for a while before finally asking.
"What is it?"
I could tell that C.C. was smiling. I knew that this one object would answer all of my questions about Lelouch.
"It's a mask."
A/N: Ok technically this is the end, but there will be an epilogue. Let me know whose point of view you think it should be written from. (I suggest you pick Lelouch or Suzaku if you want your lemony treat)
and please review.