I am holding you close...so close...that I know you couldn't breathe because of it...I know that I am crushing you in this embrace… I know that I am hurting you by hugging you so tight like this… I know that you are protesting and struggling away from me… but I can't let go… I can't… because once I let go, I know that I would never meet you again and you would again…disappear from my life… and I have no energy left to search for you…for someone who will avoid me for the rest of my life…
That's why… I have to hold you close… so that you won't run away…so that you will be with me forever. Forever is exactly what I need…just…forever…and it will be enough… but, how long is forever? The last time you promised me forever…you disappeared from my life three days afterwards, shouting and screaming at me, accusing me of being a psycho and a maniac, hurling all those hurtful words at me.
My blond… my little delicious blond…didn't you use to love me so? So…so much that you promised me an eternity? That we promise under the watchful eyes of the stars and the moon? Having those objects in the universe as our witnesses? You broke the promise. You broke it and accuse me of being crazy for a simple act… a simple act of killing those who had stared at you with those sickening expressions in their face, with those predatory eyes that speak of nothing but wanting to have you for themselves. Didn't you say that you are mine? Didn't you also promise that you will be mine forever? So… how long is exactly…forever?
Or…do you approve of them staring at you like that…? Because you didn't mean it when you said that you will be mine?... Never mind…even if you didn't mean it, you said it and you will be mine… you are mine and I will never let those people stare at you like that… Their blood should be spilled and they should return from where they come from. They should return to Earth, the place God created them.
And now…again…you are struggling in my embrace…but you couldn't go anywhere… because I am much more powerful than you and also because I will never let you go. But…you will always run away, right? There's nothing I could do about it… I always hate being so powerless…I will not merely standby and watch you disappear, I'm going to do something about it…so that you will always stay by my side forever.
As I loosen my hold, you immediately sneak away from me. Roxas… why? Why must you force me to do this? Your face is filled with horror… That face… that once very beautiful face was tainted with sheer terror. Am I really that scary? But still… you are still the Roxas that I love no matter what your expression is like. You are still…Roxas…and you are mine.
I've come prepared…Roxas…
Taking out my switchblade...I could see his eyes widened and his face paled. "You have forced me into this…" I whispered in a very low tone.
He mumbled… that sweet voice of yours is shaking, trembling… "What's wrong, Roxas?" I asked, trying to be gentle and nice… maybe he would come back to me… and maybe I wouldn't have to do this.
But…he runs… he runs away… why? He knows very well that he wouldn't be able to run away from me… but he still runs… I quickly catch up to him. I grabbed him from the back and stabbed the blade to his back. He lets out a painful shriek, jolting up, and then leaning to me limply as his blood began to pour out, staining my hand and stomach crimson.
"I love you, Roxas…" I whispered.
He didn't say anything. He is in a lot of pain… I don't want to see him in pain… that's the last thing I wanna see from him.
Taking out the blade, I raised the weapon I'm holding to his neck. "Now, you can't run away again… now, you will be mine forever." I whispered close to his ears.
"Axel…" he moaned painfully as he tried to struggle once again.
In just a while, he was motionless. Blood streamed out from his neck as soon as I slit his throat. And then…his eyes are closed and those beautiful cerulean disappeared. I hold him close, refusing to let him fall to the ground. Roxas is now mine…mine… I can have every part of him now… I can keep him without fearing that he would run away from me again… I can keep him…
But… I could never hear his voice anymore… I could never see his expression anymore…
I don't mind… I guess I don't mind… because I've finally acquired my eternity. "Right, Roxas?" the eternity that you've promised me.
And it began pouring, as if mourning for Roxas' death, washing away the sins I have committed.
Trying to get out of writer's block. Please ignore my grammars, I'm not used to writing in first person and I know that my tenses are messed up. Thanks.