Title: From boxers to bras
Summary: Naruto gets turned into a girl and now the guys are starting to see Konoha's loudest ninja in a new light. Poor, poor Naruto… A femmNaruto story.
Genre: Humor/one-sided romance
Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto©
Chapter 1: Welcome to womanhood
"What is this crap?" Tsunade demanded as she held up a clear glass bottle.
"Its legendary water from the cursed Nanniichuan springs!" Shizune answered excitedly. "It was specifically drawn from the spring of the drowned girl mixed with the water of stillness!"
"The cursed springs of the Hidden Hot springs village?" Tsunade asked in surprise. She placed the glass down on her desk and eyed it suspiciously. "They had supposedly dried up decades ago…"
"The Nanniichuan was once wet and full of springs that each had a victim who met a tragic end" Shizune said as she reminisced the old tale.
Tsunade nodded. "Yeah, yeah I remember. It was rumored that if you fell into the spring of the victim that drowned there a thousand years ago or so, you will become them…for instance, if one was to fall in the spring of the drowned girl, they will become a female—"
"That's right!" Shizune nodded eagerly. "I've bought it from a traveling salesman this morning!" Her face fell when Tsunade sent her a soft frown.
"Shizune…" her mistress warned. "Don't spend money on fables. I rather have sake or even a pomp-pomp keychain"
Shizune fidgeted in embarrassment. She hated when Tsunade used the tone she would use with a child. "…W-well it didn't cost too much…I was just thinking it could help with Miss. Takahashi. Since she has high levels of testosterone I thought it could help with her…you know…" she pointed to her chin. "Her whiskers—"
Suddenly the office door slammed open and there stood a sweaty red faced Naruto. "HEY GRANNY TSUNADE I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF TRAINING, WHAT DO YOU WANT?" he bellowed irritably.
The Hokage winced. She rubbed her forehead, it throbbed ominously and with Naruto in the mix a headache was inevitable. "Honestly Naruto, inside voices please! You're 19 years old, act like it for once!" she demanded.
"I'm 18, so there!" Naruto stuck out his tongue childishly.
A vein pulsed on Tsunade's brow. "Still! You're going to enroll into ANBU classes this fall so straighten up already!" she snapped.
"Annnnnyway!" Naruto interrupted the Hokage rudely. "I'm thirsty! Aha!" He cheered when he spotted a clear bottle of water on Tsunade-sama's desk. With a grin, Naruto snatched it and pulled the cork out with his teeth.
"No Naruto! It's—"
"Look, it's your fault I'm here in the first place so the least you can do is spare me a drink!" the young adult complained and gulped the water down greedily.
Tsunade and Shizune held their breaths in apprehension.
When he was finished Naruto gagged. "Yuck! Stale! What the heck granny, you had it sitting around for years or what?" he wined as he wiped his mouth on the helm of his jacket.
Shizune and Tsunade breathed a sigh of relief when nothing happened. Shizune was exceedingly glad. Sure it meant she wasted her check on a dud but at least Naruto was okay.
Tsunade stood up smacked the Kyuubi boy across the head. "That's what you get you little brat! How dare you—"
"Ahhhh!" Naruto cried out suddenly. The glass bottle shattered as it hit the ground. He gripped the desk in front of him and clenched his teeth.
"Naruto!" Tsunade shouted in alarm. She leaped to Naruto's side wondering if she had hit the boy too hard. That idea was thrown out when Naruto wrapped his arms around his stomach as a stabbing, gut twisting pain filled his abdominal cavity.
Naruto only screamed in reply. It was like the belly cramps he got from drinking expired milk but only it was a thousand times worst and it was spreading to all the parts of his body. Naruto heard Tsunade's and Shizune's frantic cries but all he could see were stars pounding in the back of his head. Unable to stand any longer, Naruto fell to the ground and passed out.
Tsunade and Shizune watched in horror as Naruto shape shifted right in front of their eyes. His hair grew out until it was three feet down his back. Next, Naruto's body seemed to shrink as his jumpsuit bagged out. His facial features softened giving him more of a feminine structure. Higher cheek bones, a rounder softer chin, plump lips, longer eye lashes and thinner eye brows…
Shizune gulped as she stole a glance at Tsunade. Her mistress's face was like stone.
"Shizune" Tsunade said, her eyes never leaving Naruto's form.
Shizune winced a little. "Y-yes, Tsunade-sama?"
"Go fetch me the ANBU, extra strength Tylenol and a bottle of sake. It's going to be a long day…"
"Hello Sasuke-kun, where is Naruto and Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked her comrade when she arrived at training grounds.
Sasuke was leaning against the trunk of a tree. He shrugged his shoulders. "Kakashi is a no show and Naruto was summoned to the Hokage's office, cutting our spar short. I'm going home" he said flatly, walking away.
"Wait Sasuke-kun!" Sakura called after him.
Several years had passed and Sakura had blossomed into a lovely lady of 19 years. She was starting to get noticed by the male population in Konoha and was sent love letters daily from Lee. However in high hopes she continued to pursue her childhood crush, Sasuke Uchiha.
"Let's hang out together—just the two of us. The Cat's eye café is now selling iced lattes! Cool, huh? Tee-hee! They just started serving it that way a month ago"
"Imagine that" Sasuke replied dryly as he walked on.
Sakura faltered. "Please!" she begged. "You just got on probation and I-I…" he ducked her head. "I miss you Sasuke…"
Yeah, Uchiha Sasuke had just gotten out of jail but was still under strict probation. He had spent the last three years of his life in the Konoha prison; a slap on the wrist compared to all he had done. First he was a missing-nin for three years. Second, he fraternized with Konoha's wanted S-ranked criminal, Orochimaru. Third, he became an S-ranked criminal himself for joining forces with the Akatsuki and then he conspired against Konoha by invading the Leaf village with Uchiha Madara.
The book should have been slammed at him and it would have been if Naruto didn't intercept for him. Since Uchiha's true persecutors were killed being the elders and Danzo from Konoha ROOT (kudos to Madara for beating him to it)—convincing the younger generation for redemption was a piece of cake.
His sentence was three years behind bars and then two years of scrutinizing probation. In the probation period He was required to do all missions for free but it was no big deal, he had inherited enough cash from his dead relatives to last him several lavish life times.
Sasuke stopped and turned around. "You're still annoying after all these years Sakura" he said softy.
A hurt look plastered on Sakura's face as tears began to fill her eyes. Sasuke sighed. He hated to see girls cry. Those fresh tears reminded him of the night he left Konoha…the night he left Sakura…
The Uchiha inclined his head. "Fine..." he decided. "I'll treat us both"
Sakura blinked. She lifted her head. What? She stared at Sasuke her face turning the same shade as her hair. Sakura didn't know if she was dreaming or not. "Nani? You will?"
Sasuke sighed again. He never liked women that much: they were so superficial that it almost turned him gay. Unfortunately he needed a female in order to restore his clan and Sakura was the only girl in Konoha he could tolerate. When she wasn't busy goggling over him they could at least hold a decent conversation.
"I want to hang with you too Sakura" Sasuke elucidated. "Let's go"
Sakura's face broke out into a huge grin. "Hai, let's!" she said excitedly. She locked their arms together and led him to the restaurant.
"Why isn't the Tylenol working, yet?" Tsunade mumbled to herself as she rubbed her throbbing temple. She cracked open a honey brown eye to see the ANBU standing readily before her desk. "Go find the merchant who sold Shizune the water, I will question him" she ordered.
Tsunade's headache was no better when they returned ten minutes later with the man perfectly fitting Shizune's description in tow. He was a stout little man. His beady eyes darted all around the room nervously. He seemed to calm down when his eyes fell on an unconscious girl laying on a pallet near the Hokage's desk. She had on a baggy jumpsuit but her figure could be outlined very well through the fabric.
Tsunade scowled. That little lecher…She cleared her throat in an irritable tone to get his attention.
Looking startled the man addressed her, "Y-you r-r-requested me H-Hokage-sama?" He stuttered respectfully with a shaky bow.
"Yes…" Tsunade replied. He held up the empty bottle. "I have a few questions regarding his item you sold to my assistant this morning"
The man seemed relieved. "W-what do you wish to know?"
"Everything and anything you know about it"
"Well you see it belonged to my father. The old bastard used to brag that he got it from the Nanniichuan springs of the Hidden Hot Springs village before drought settled in and dried them up"
Tsunade nodded her head.
The man seemed more comfortable as he continued, "He claimed he got some water from the spring of the drowned girl and then mixed it with the water of stillness. He was going to use it to turn his—ahem…" the man hesitated. While blushing he said, "…to um turn his ugh— lover…into a woman. Unfortunately or fortunately for me heh, his boyfriend died before he could drink it. So he just kept it as a reminder…"
"And it whined up in Konoha how?"
"The old coot up and died a year ago leaving a huge financial burden on my family so I decided to sell off some his things to help settle the debt…" the Merchant shrugged. He chuckled. "I didn't believe him—heck it did wonders for you sir. You are the sexiest transsexual I have ever seen!" he gave Tsunade the big thumbs up.
Tsunade gripped the edge of her desk so hard it cracked under pressure. The surrounding shinobi and Shizune took several wise steps out of the line of fire.
"SO I'M STUCK LIKE THIS?" shouted a voice suddenly. Naruto sat up, pushing her long golden locks out of her face. He or rather she had been eavesdropping the whole time.
The merchant rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "So you're the transsexual! Hm pretty much sweet cheeks—"
"Naruto-" Tsunade said but the blonde was already had the man in a headlock.
Naruto shook the merchant crazily. "Tell me how to cure this old man! NOW!"
"S-stop it! Stop!" The man yelped, fighting futilely in Naruto's arms.
"Do you know anything else?" the fifth asked. "Naruto stop shaking the man and let him talk!"
Reluctantly Naruto released the man.
The merchant gagged pitifully. 'Air, how I missed you! Psycho chick…' He managed to wheeze out, "…Yes"
"A cure?" Naruto and Tsunade asked eagerly.
"No, that an ape riding a yak while holding a snake and an eagle drowned in a legendary spring 1,100 years ago"
"ARGH!" Naruto screamed in frustration as she pulled her hair.
"The only thing I could suggest though is…"
"What, what, what, what! Spill it old timer!" Naruto yelled.
"It'll cost 50,000 yen" the merchant said with a smirk.
"WHY YOU LITTLE—"
"Hush Naruto I'll agree to his terms" Tsunade said getting up from the desk and stood before the greedy man. Tsunade held up her hand. "10,000 yen" she tucked her finger under. "20,000 yen" she tucked in the second finger and did the same thing with each finger until she made a fist. She raised it threateningly about the man's head. "50,000 yen!"
"Gah! I'll tell you for free!"
"The only thing I could say may help is that if the person who fell into a cursed spring is sprayed with hot water, they will change back to their original form but—"
"Hell yeah!" Naruto cheered. "That's all you had to say you old fart!" she stripped out of her baggy outfit as she ran into the building's bathroom only dressed in her boxers. Several of the ANBU got a nosebleed. One agent even fainted, blood running out from underneath his mask.
Tsunade heard the water run in a nearby bathroom and then a frustrated scream. Naruto stomped back into the room drenched. "Why can't I change back! I thought you said by being soaked in hot water, I can turn back!"
Veins pulsed dangerously on the Merchant's forehead. He was obviously still sore about Tsunade's threat. "IF YOU WOULD HAVE LET ME FINISH I WOULD HAVE TOLD YOU IT WOULDN'T WORK!" he shouted nearly giving Naruto an ear bleed.
Tsunade tossed Naruto her clothes. "Have you no shame? Cover your cleavage!"
With a huff Naruto redressed herself. Tsunade and Shizune were embarrassed beyond comprehension. Some of the ANBU were trying to wake their fainted comrades with smelly salt while the other shinobi enjoyed the view with the lecherous merchant.
Once the Merchant had Naruto's full attention, he continued. "Normally you could reverse the process by splashing you with hot water however; you swallowed it!" he explained and then sighed. "In doing so the water was absorbed into your body hence changing you from the inside out…permanently"
Naruto felt her insides turned cold as she fell into a stunned silence. She slummed to the tile floor. Tsunade placed aher hands on Naruto's shoulder.
"There is no cure: welcome to womanhood, sunny!" The merchant crackled.
Then the kyuubi girl did something Tsunade didn't see coming—Naruto cried. Tears fell from her baby blue orbs. "Holy crap!" Naruto swore in tears. "What am I going to do? I'm a freak of nature!"
Tsunade sat down next to Naruto on the floor. "Don't worry, brat. I'm here for you, so is Shizune, Sakura and all the other girls of the village. I'm sure they'll take you right under their wings" she tried to soothe.
Naruto hiccupped. "But Granny! My dreams, my… my needs how will they you know, be uh fore filled still?"
Tsunade smiled gently."Naruto, you still are you, just with—"
"With boobies and a vagina?" Naruto added helpfully.
'You don't have to be so descriptive…' Tsunade nodded. "Er…Yeah, that's right. Underneath that female anatomy you're still that same annoying, loud, pigheaded, spirited brat!" To her relief Naruto perked up a bit. "You promised you will be Hokage after me…will that change with your gender?"
"No way, hag!"
"Will you stop eating wagons full of ramen because you're a girl?"
"Not on your life!"
"Will you ever let Sasuke overpower you?"
"WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER!"
"That's my b—err girl!" Tsunade smiled. She pulled Naruto into a hug. "Well then, you are going to be just fine" she reassured while patting Naruto's back. As they parted Tsunade eyed Naruto's outfit distastefully. "I'm gonna tell Sakura to bring some Kimonos for you later on for you to wear until you can replace your wardrobe"
Naruto looked offended. "What's wrong with what I'm wearing?" she stood up and her pants fell off her hips, revealing her baggy boxers.
Tsunade chuckled. "It's several sizes too big"
With a pout, Naruto ran her hands her over hips consciously. "Man, was I really that fat?" she mumbled as moved to observe herself in a nearby mirror.
"No Naruto, girls are naturally smaller and curvier" Tsunade answered.
With a lecherous grin, Naruto rubbed her rear and then squeezed her breasts. The reawakened Anbus fainted again at the sight. "Yeah I know what you mean…tee-hee…"
Tsunade's eye twitched. "For heaven's sake stop groping yourself!"
The Merchant tried to ease himself out of the door. "Now I'll just be on my way—"
"Hold it buster!" Tsunade barked.
Immediately the ANBU blocked the exit.
"Wh-what?" The man said turning to face an enraged Hokage.
"Seize him! You're under arrest!"
"Wha? What for? I didn't do anything!" the man screamed.
"Ohhh yes you did. I recognize your face, Aboa Tirumiku! You're wanted for selling illegal shinobi forehead protectors! That's a federal offense! Take away him!" Tsunade ordered.
The merchant mumbled curses against Tsunade under his breath as the ANBU lead him out in charka molded handcuffs.
CM: I wrote this because I was thinking the other day—What if Naruto was a girl instead of a boy? So here's your chance to find out if you guys are interested. Oh and the cursed springs idea is Rumiko Takahashi's theme from her masterpiece Ranma ½.