Title: From boxers to bras
Summary: Naruto gets turned into a girl and now the guys are starting to see Konoha's loudest ninja in a new light. Poor, poor Naruto…
Genre: Humor/one-sided romance
Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto©
Chapter 14: Bathhouse Mayhem!
"Okay, you guys!" Ino said cheerfully. She had several large bags hanging on her thin arms. "I'll drop off these dresses at your house, Forehead! See yah LATER!" the girl practically skipped away. Sakura and Naruto didn't catch the devious look on Ino's face as she thought, 'Before I drop these there, I'm gonna put tracking devices on them so I can tail you guys on your dates and have the juiciest gossip ready for tomorrow!'
"Okay, thanks, bye Ino!" Sakura said, completely oblivious to her Ino's intentions. Naruto meanwhile was exhausted and was kneeled down to the ground.
"I'm…" (huff) "…never…" (huff) "…going…" (wheeze) "…shopping with her again!" Naruto managed to wheeze out.
"Yeah, Ino-pig can be a little extreme sometimes I'll admit but her fashion sense…ooooh! I swear women everywhere would kill to have it!" Sakura said with fire in her eyes. It was much similar to Lee's eyes whenever he was fired up about youth, only scarier.
Naruto backed away. "Sakura…you are scaring me…" she whined.
"Oh don't be silly, Naruto. Now! Let's go to the bathhouse!"
"Do we have to go there?" Naruto groaned. "I could just go home and shower you know—"
"For the 100th time yes you do!" Sakura snapped, clearly exasperated. "What are you so nervous about anyway?" she asked suspiciously. "You've been fidgeting about going over there all day!"
Naruto was about to tell her but reneged. "Nothing…Nothing at all" she groaned in resignation. Naruto reluctantly followed into Sakura into the bathhouse. As the girls were changing out in the locker-room they met up with Hinata.
"Hey, Hinata fancy seeing you here" Sakura greeted the timid girl.
"Hi, Sakura-chan, Naru-"
"HINATA!" Naruto clinged to the ends of Hinata's towel. "SAVE ME PLEASE!"
"N-Naruto-kun!" Hinata exclaimed, taken aback.
"Oh Naruto, you big baby!" Sakura said as she snatched Naruto from Hinata.
"No really, please help me!" Naruto cried as Sakura dragged her toward the baths.
A woman looked up and shrieked when she saw Naruto's Naruko form. Quickly wrapping herself in a towel she yelled, "Hey, that perverted Naruto is back!" catching everyone's attention.
Naruto was began to sweat bullets. "No I'm really a girl this time—OW" a bucket had made contact with her head.
"Oh like we've fall for that again you cross-dressing pervert!" a girl yelled.
"Yeah get back on the boys' side!" another screamed.
"Hey! I'm not a pervert—OW! OW! OW!" Naruto yelled as she ran out of the girl's locker room while getting hammered with wash bins.
Hinata looked on with horror. "S-Should we help Naruto-kun?" she asked her female companion.
"Nope" Sakura said flatly. "It's free entertainment. Besides knowing Naruto, she probably deserved it"
Currently on the men's side of the hot springs…
Shikamaru Nara was just enjoying an afternoon soak in the male public baths with his best friend Choji… or was enjoying it until he had to spend five hours in it. Shikamaru rubbed the back of his neck with a washcloth. "Man, Choji we've been here since opening. I'm starting to resemble a boiled lobster!" he complained. "Let's split"
"But I need to sweat out the pounds!" Choji mumbled. He sunk deeper into the water until it was up to his chin. "…I guess I'll catch you later"
"You're devotion is inspirational!" Lee said. "I will stay with through this challenge! In fact I bet I can stay in longer than you can or I will run 30 laps around the border of Fire country within 48 hours!"
"Er… thanks Lee-kun… I think" Choji said unsure. This really wasn't a contest to begin with but he didn't mind the company.
"Geeze, if I knew it was going to be this crowded I wouldn't have come today!" Konohamaru grumbled to his friend Udon. They also happened to be there in the baths today.
"Well it's not like we had a choice. That mission to clean out the bayou of the Forest of Death got us covered from head to toe in that fungi sludge" Udon reasoned. "And my mom would kill me if I came home covered in it!"
Konohamaru surpassed a shudder. "Don't remind me" Unconsciously he began to scrub his arms harder.
Shikamaru nodded to Choji. He stood up and climbed out of the bath. The cold air felt refreshing against his flushed skin. "You can't lose too much weight you know" he reasoned. "Later Cho—"
"Mind if I come in gentlemen?" a sugar coated voice asked suddenly. The men looked up to see Naruto smiling cutely at them.
"GYAA!" Shikamaru shouted in alarm as he fell back into the water, desperately trying to cover himself.
Most of the men blinked. Was this a dream? None of them complained when Naruto dropped her towel. All the men in the bath gasped. Several fell out with nosebleeds and came close to drowning in the water until their friends rescued them.
"Nope, I didn't think so" Naruto mused. "Hey, Shika what's shaking? Oh hey Choji, almost didn't see you there. How's it going?"
"I'm f-fine…" Choji lifted his hand in a weak 'hi'.
"You-you're a girl now!" Shikamaru yelped as he tried to stop looking at Naruto's nudity. "Get back on the girl's side!"
Naruto sighed. "Can't you just pretend its mixed baths today?" she whined.
"NO!" Shikamaru shrieked. His voice was nearly cracking. "I already have a troublesome girlfriend and you are not going to make even more problems for me!"
Naruto puffed her cheeks. "Look the girls kicked me out of their side, okay? So the boy's side is all that's left do you mind?"
"Hell yes I do!"
"Well tough!" Naruto said with a sense of finality. As she was about to walk in she slipped on a bar of soap and fell in head first instead.
"Look she's drowning! I have to give her mouth!" Udon shouted eagerly.
Konohamaru roughly pushed Udon aside. "No you won't—I will!" he yelled. "I'm coming boss!"
Lee grabbed the boys by their heads and slammed them down on the side of the pool. "Neither of you perverts will! How dare you disrespect the lovely sunshine of Konoha!"
"OW! As if you are one to talk!" Udon yelped through the pain.
"Yeah we've seen you at the orange market!" Konohamaru accused.
Choji helped Naruto stand up. As she resurfaced the water, coughing and haking.
"The Orange Market?" Shikamaru asked while raising his eyebrow. "Choji mentioned it a couple of weeks ago…what is that exactly?"
Choji nearly dropped Naruto when he heard what Shikamaru said. "N-No I didn't!" he tried to deny.
Naruto brushed the wet hair out of her face. "Orange Market... is it a clothing line or something?" she asked.
"Ahhha!" Lee said nervously. "It's nothing…nothing at all!"
Konohamaru snorted. "Yeah right, it ani't nothing but a p—ommmf!" Lee had slapped his hand over Konohamaru's mouth.
Naruto squnited sucipiously. "What was he going to say...?"
"Um... p...photography!" Lee came up quickly.
"Be quiet!" Lee hissed.
Konohamaru smirked at Lee like the cat that had conered the carnay. "Then it's gonna cost ya"
Sakura could hear the wolf calls and screams from the boy's side suddenly. Even before she heard the name she knew it had to be Naruto. Only Naruto could make such a scene. Sakura rolled her eyes in aggravation. "What could that baka be doing now?" she asked annoyed under her breath. "Does she have any sense of shame?"
"D-do think that commotion on the other side is being caused by Naruto-kun?" Hinata asked.
Sakura barely resisted the urge to roll her eyes again. "When is there a commotion that wasn't caused by Naruto?" she asked flatly. "Come on, let's go rescue the boys" Sakura said as she climbed out of the tub.
Hinata privately thought they wouldn't want to be rescued but didn't defy Sakura. Meekly she followed Sakura back to the locker room.
Sakuta opened the locker they had rented, she saw Naruto's wind breaker suit and boxers. She rolled her eyes. Figures Naruto would be still wearing boxers after all these months. When she pulled the boxers out Sakura noticed something different and faintly familiar about them. Usually Naruto's boxers were orange and covered with frog prints. Now when she really looked at it, those boxers were instead jet black and had a repetitive white and red symbol on it: the Uchiha symbol. Sakura blinked in confusion. Why did Naruto have the Uchiha fan on her boxers? Unless…
"Wait…these can't be Sasuke's boxers…?" Sakura asked aloud. "... wait... they are Sasuke's boxers"
Sakura stood there numb for several seconds before her chakra signature spiked dangerously. It turned from green to blood red.
Hinata shuddered as she felt the sinister chakra flush throughout the bathhouse. The other girls in the public bath cowered in fear. They screamed and ran toward the exit, desperately trying to get out of Sakura's way. Sakura stepped on the unfortunate women who tripped.
"NARUTOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Sakura bellowed. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY MAN'S BOXERS?"
Shikamaru wrapped a towel around his waist. 'I better split now…Naruto has a thing for attracting trouble'. The Nara then proceeded to leave, just as he was about to head back into the locker room he saw something charging at him.
"Huh? What the—GAH!" Shikamaru squeaked and flattened himself against the tile wall just as an enraged Sakura ran pass him charging at Naruto like a rhino who had a bullet in its ass. "YOU'RE DEAD NARUTO!" She jumped into the air and brought down her heel. "HEAVENLY KICK OF PAIN! CHA!"
Naruto literally saw her life flashing before her eyes. Her first ramen cup. Her first rasengan. Her first kiss with Sasuke…ew, how did that come up?
Narrowly Naruto dodged Sakura's drop kick."WHA-WHAT DID I DO?" Naruto asked frantic.
"YOU'RE SEEING SASUKE BEHIND ME MY BACK—THAT'S WHAT!"
"WHAT?" Naruto was startled by the accusation. "I AM SO NOT! EW!"
"YES YOU ARE!"
"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY PROOF—"
Sakura shoved the Uchiha symbol covered boxers into Naruto's face.
Naruto paled. She forgot to give them back to the bastard. "Oh shit…" curse those boxers for being so comfortable!
"Hey, give Naruto a break!" Shikamaru said suddenly. He came up in-between the girls. "We all know-"
"That I wouldn't do such a thing!" Naruto finished for him.
Shikamaru shook his head. "No, that Sasuke can't repopulate the Uchiha clan with just one woman" he patted Sakura on the back. "You'll get use to sharing"
"WHAT?" Naruto asked incredulously.
Sakura's eyes blazed an unnatural shade of green. "NAAAAA…RUUUUU…TOOOOOOO!"
"Are you trying to get me killed Shikamaru?" Naruto yelled as she ran into the locker room with Sakura hot on her tail.
"Not intentionally. I was just vocalizing my thoughts" Shikamaru answered with a yawn.
"WELL KEEP THEM TO YOURSELF! AIYEEE!" Naruto screamed as she scarcely dodged a charka infested punch. Sakura's fist had missed her by a millimeter. Instead it had hit the foundation of the building causing the roof to cave in.
Shikamaru sent the scene a tired look and groaned. So much for leaving…
"And where do you think you are you going, Uchiha?" Kiba asked suspiciously.
"Why are you following me?" Sasuke asked back coolly.
Kiba glared at him. "Because you're a closest pervert and I don't trust you"
Sasuke sent him a bored look. "Like you aren't?—"
"Whoa, look at that! Two kunoichi chicks are going at it!" a random guy said excitedly. He pointed toward the roof-tops. Kiba and Sasuke looked up to see two partially naked women running and jumping on the roofs. One was Naruto who was running like a hellhound was after her and the so called hellhound was no other than Tsunade's prized student, Sakura.
"OH COME ON SAKURA, I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING, I SWEAR!" Naruto yelled.
Sakura threw some kunai at Naruto. Only Kami knew where she got them from. "NOTHING?" she shrieked."THEN HOW DID YOU GET A HOLD OF MY BOYFRIEND'S BOXERS?"
Sasuke's jaw dropped.
"HE GAVE THEM TO ME BECAUSE—"
"HE GAVE THEM TO YOU?" Sakura freaked. "YOU TRAITOR! AND TO THINK I TRUSTED YOU!"
Sasuke suddenly felt very, very sick.
"SAAAA…SUUUKE…" Kiba growled beside him.
Sasuke turned to see Kiba looking like a rabid dog. Foam was even gathering at the corners of his mouth. "… Explain yourself, you filthy manwhore!"
"Watch it mutt" Sasuke hissed. "I've told you nothing happened between us"
"AIYEEEEEEE!" Naruto screamed.
Sasuke was partially relieved when Naruto's scream drew Kiba's attention away from him.
"Nooo! Don't kill my date!" Kiba yelled to Sakura. He jumped up on the roof top. "Uchiha!" he yelled down at the twitching man. "Do something about your violent girlfriend!"
Snapping out of his stupor Sasuke ran after Sakura. "S-Sakura! Wait! It's not what you think!"
Naruto was getting tired of being chased around. That's when she decided to use her signature jutsu. "Shadow clone jutsu!" In a huge puff of smoke there was a thousand half naked blondes running off in every direction. Sakura wasn't discouraged at all by the numbers. She began to punch the daylights out of as many Narutos as she could get within arms length.
Hiashi Hyuuga, leader of the Hyuuga clan was sitting outside with his nephew Neji at a local tea shop. The two gentlemen were enjoying a short break from training.
The clan leader took a slip from his tea cup before exhaling a contented sigh. "Ah, what a refreshing day" he mused aloud.
Neji nodded. "Indeed…its days like this that make me glad to be alive—GAH!"
Suddenly a Naruto clone jumped down from a roof top right in Neji's and Hiashi's line of vision while accidently flashing her womanly parts to them. Both Hiashi and Neji fell back with massive nosebleeds.
Yes. It was a very good day to be alive.
Sai was currently having the time of his life! He was taking pictures left and right of hundreds of sexy Narutos running throughout the city. He was going to call this limited photo edition 'Parade of the Goddesses'. Money, money, money! He knew these photos would sell out the first day—no the first hour!
Sai suddenly froze. The voice sounded ferocious and barely contained. Sai turned to see his adorable girlfriend of two years scowling at him.
"I-Ino-chan…" Sai said as a bead of sweat ran down his forehead.
"You're taking pictures of Naruto, why?" Ino asked carefully.
Every single cell in Sai body was screaming danger, danger! Slowly easing himself up Sai said, "It's not what it looks like, sweetie pie"
Ino huffed and crossed her arms. "I may be blonde but not stupid" she glared at him. "Explain and you may crawl yourself out of this one …alive… but certainly mangled!"
"Well you see Miss. Beautiful it's—HEY WHAT'S THAT?" Sai said pointing.
"I'm not falling for that!" Ino snapped.
Sai decided to just to run for dear life.
"SAI, YOU SLEAZY PERVERT! GET BACK HERE NOW!" Ino screamed as she took off after her boyfriend or rather ex-boyfriend depending on his answer.
Gaara was approaching the gates of Konoha with his siblings when he noticed several towel wrapped Narutos running on the city's walls. There were even some hopping from building to building. He stopped dead in his tracks.
"…the…" Temari said with shocked eyes.
"…There are angels!" Kankuro finished with big glossy eyes.
His two siblings turned to look at him. "What?"
"Hey!" a Naruto said suddenly. She'd noticed Gaara. "It's Gaara!" she called to the others.
Immediately the group of girls ceased to run around in a panic and happily ran to the startled red head. In a flash Gaara was on the ground being hugged and snuggled by over twenty Narutos.
"Oh Gaara, thank goodness you're here!"
"I'm so glad to see you Gaara!"
"Will you protect us, Gaara-kun?"
"Thank you for coming!"
"Please help little o' me!"
Temari didn't know if she should laugh at her brother's expression or ask what the heck was going on. Kankuro stood off to the side looking dejected and turned an envious eye onto his younger brother. Getting snuggled by beautiful girls (for free) was one of his secret dreams and Gaara got it without even trying! No fair!
Gaara meanwhile couldn't take the ecstasy. Never before had he felt so many girls pressed against his person and it was driving him into oblivion! With an idiot smile on his usually stoical features, Gaara had the biggest nosebleed in the history of nosebleeds and fell blissfully into unconsciousness.
"Oh no, Gaara-kun!" a clone squealed.
"You must save us from Sakura-oni!"
"Gaara, wake up!" several Narutos said as they tried to revive their savior.
Currently back at the hot springs was the real Naruto. She was hiding away in the abandoned locker room. Earlier when she had fallen into the water she had switched herself out with a clone.
"Is it safe?" she asked nervously.
Hinata nodded. The loyal Hyuuga was standing guard by a locker. Hinata deactivated her byakugan and knelled down to where Naruto was hiding. "Yes…she's currently on the other side of the village…" she answered.
Naruto crawled out of the locker and sat down on the floor. She looked up at Hinata with big watery eyes that a wrongfully kicked puppy would have. "This is the worst day of my life!" Naruto declared and sniffled.
"Oh, Naruto-kun... I...I'm sure this is nothing but a big misunderstanding..." Hinata tried to reassure her friend.
"Well it is!" Naruto wailed before pouting like a little child. That's when Hinata noticed Naruto's puckered lips.
Her lips were plump. Not big and ugly like blimp lips but bigger than the norm in a nice way. Hinata leaned forward to get a better look. They looked so soft and red. Hinata wondered if they tasted like cherries… Hinata liked cherries. She liked cinnamon rolls with cherry filling. Hinata licked her lips.
Naruto saw the sudden hungry look on Hinata's face and sweat-dropped. "Hinata... you are a little too close" she said as she eased bacl.
Hinata blinked as if she just noticed how close she was. "Oh my... I-I'm sorry!" Hinata said. She touched her face because it felt hot. 'Why... why am I blushing?'
"Its okay, Hinata. So why were you looking at me like that? Are you hungry or something?" Naruto asked.
If possible, Hinata's blush darken to a shade of maroon. "Um… um….y-yeah you c-can say that…"
Naruto looked concerned. "Hey, Hinata you don't look so good. Do you need something to drink?"
Hinata smiled. Leave it to Naruto to always care. "N-no, I'll be alright but I think you need to get going…"
Naruto's face paled as she sighed with dread. "Yeah, you're right... See yeah around Hinata-chan. I'm really glad you're my friend. You really saved my butt today!"
Naruto hugged Hinata before getting up and leaving. Hinata stared after her in a daze. She remained like that for nearly a minute before a revelation came to her. Hinata's eyes bulged out. "Oh... my... Kami…I'm...I'm a lesbian!" Hinata cried aloud once she thought she was alone.
"No, you are more like a Naru-sexual, actually" Shikamaru remarked.
"EEEP!" Hinata squeaked. She turned around to see Shikamaru standing behind her. "H-how long had you b-been there?"
"Since this whole troublesome situation began" Shikamaru groaned. He stretched his back. "But like I said you are a Naruto-sexual. You've been attracted to Naruto for years, switching out a penis for a vagina isn't going to change that overnight" he explained flatly. Picking up his wash tub Shikamaru walked passed the stunned girl.
"Now I better get going, Temari's coming. If I'm late meeting her at the Hokage tower, she'll make my already complicated day hotter than Hades itself"
"Sakura, for the last time I''m not seeing the bastard!" Naruto yelled. She gritted her teeth in fusteration. "Don't make me use the UWCSJ!" she threatened.
"And what the heck is that?" Sakura snapped.
"My ultra-woman-crushing-secret-jutsu!" Naruto answred.
Sakura scoffed. "Yeah right!"
"Alrighty then, you asked for it: sexy-jutsu Andro: Uchiha edition!" Naruto yelled as she acitived the techinque. When the smoke cleared there stood a damp, naked Sasuke. His milky white muscles gleamed in the sunlight. He smirked at Sakura. "Hey Sakura, come smack my bon-bons, honeybun!"
"HELL YEAH!" Sakura suffered a HUGE nosebleed as she fell back, barely being caught by (the real) Sasuke just in time.
Naruto (still in sexy Sasuke form) nodded to herself. "Works everytime with girls... expect for Hinata... hm... I wonder why-"
"NARUTO!" Sasuke said, scandalized.
Kiba turned green. "Ewww, just ewww. Waay too much detail" Kiba gagged as he looked away. "Naruto, cover that shit up right now!" he demanded.
"Who are you calling shit, dog breath?" Sasuke asked with a glare.
Sasuke was about to retort when he heard Sakura stirring in his arms. "Sakura..."
Sakura moaned as she blinked. She blinked for several seconds before her eyes widen. "Oh…Sassy-chan! How many licks do you want me to spank you with?" Sakura said excitedly but then she noticed that Sasuke was fully clothed. Her face dropped in disappointment. "Oh, you're clothed...I guess it was a dream...damn it!"
Sasuke's eye twitched. He growled. "Sakura..." letting it go, Sasuke sighed. "Sakura listen... I don't know why you are trying to kill Naruto but nothing happened between us..." Sasuke went on to explain the situation and G- rated account of the night Naruto stayed at his house and how she got a hold of his boxers by ruining her clothes in a mud hole like a typical 'dobe' much to Naruto's chagrin.
"Oh..." Sakura said as slowly she stood up. "So it was all a misunderstanding?"
"Yes, Sakura" Sasuke said. "I would never cheat on you"
"Okay, I believe you" Sakura said instantly. "I'm sorry I've doubted you, Sassy-chan…can you forgive me?"
Naruto pouted. "Heeey, Sakura-chan! Don't I deserve an insincere apology?" she demanded.
"Tee, hee" Sakura giggled good-naturedly. With a forced grin she patted Naruto's shoulder hard. "Just be glad I didn't kill you, tee hee!" she answered in a sickeningly sweet voice.
Naruto wisely took a few steps back. It was confirmed. The girl was crazy. Completely Sassy-crazy…
Suddenly an ANBU agent landed on the roof near them. "Haruno Sakura and Uzumaki Naruto" he said.
"Tsunade-sama demands your presence immediately. Report at once to her office at once"
Two words ran through the young ladies' mind at once, "Uh oh…"
ChosenMibhar: Finally, it has been done. I actually had fun writing this chapter!
From chapter 16- I drew a picture of Ren and Aiko together in a picture frame. I colored it with photoshop and posted it on my deviant art page. If you want to see it, go to the link on my profile page.
Also, I updated Role Swtich. Again, only if you are interested.
Till next time, bye!