Author's Note: Although I was planning on using a different one-shot as my entry for the Village Square Forums Contest under the theme Music, I've decided that for the sake of time and creativity to use this one that was already finished instead.

Okay, before we get to the story, I have to tell you something that I find incredibly funny about this song. At my high school dances, couples were actually called out to the floor to slow dance to this! Seriously, my boyfriend and I would just sit at the table and laugh because it was absolutely ridiculous. We even made up the conversations that were probably going on during the song.

Girl: 'I swear to God that if you ever cheat on me, you can bet your ass this is gonna happen!
Guy: Shit, gotta break this off now before she finds out!

Now there's romance, people! XD

Disclaimer: I have no ownership of Harvest Moon or its characters, nor do I have rights to the song which was both written and performed by Carrie Underwood.

--

Before He Cheats

Right now... he's probably slow dancing

With a bleach blonde tramp,

And she's probably getting frisky...

Why does this always have to happen to me? I just don't understand any of it. I mean... I try so hard to find the right man, and every time I think I've finally found him, I get stabbed in the back. What's worse is that it almost always has to do with another woman; whether it's someone else or even me, there's an 'other' involved somehow which just makes me bristle all over at the mere thought of it happening again. Isn't it funny how if a woman cheats, then she's considered to be nothing more than a slut, a whore, a bitch. But what happens to a man?

He gets a high-five, a beer, a fucking blow!

That may be true, but that's not how it's gonna be... not this time. Oh, you are going to get what was coming to you all right... However, I can't exactly guarantee it'll be something you'll actually want to have coming since I'm pretty damn sure it's the exact opposite of what you've been hopin' for. Would you have reconsidered picking up that little trick, I wonder?

Maybe if you'd known what I had planned for you...

Right now... he's probably buying her

Some fruity little drink

Cause she can't shoot whiskey...

After working a bar for over ten years, with just a glance, I can tell you who will order what, at what time, and how much they can handle. Looking at her from here... I'd say about half a bottle of champagne would take her clean out which is downright pathetic in my opinion. There's nothing worse than a giggly drunk-ass girl if you ask me, but then again, I'm not exactly a scum bag like you, either.

I would bet the clothes just come off easier when she's liquored up, though.

Men are always looking for the ones that fall from the pack early in the game, usually the ones who are foolish enough to show up alone, so it's more than likely that this is why you find her so damn attractive in the first place. Not that the mini skirt hurts any... She's a lightweight which translates to an easy lay, I'm sure. Men are truly disgusting creatures when I think about it now, watching you as you watch her as she sips on some cheap cocktail. Maybe you should be saving that cash for later-

Because you're gonna need every dime once I'm done here...

Right now... he's probably up behind her

With a pool stick,

Showing her how to shoot a combo...

There' s no doubt in my mind that you're staring down her camisole while you helps her line up the shot. Like you always told me, 'It's all about the angle, babe.' Yeah, well... that applies to what your eyes can see, too, pal which is exactly why your resting your chin in the crook of her neck, isn't it? Just want a little glimpse down that gently slopping curve of her breast, don't cha? You pulled the same trick with me, after all... or at least you tried to before I popped you one in the jaw. You thought you had me figured out, but you didn't know a damn thing.

As if I'd ever be so easy.

You didn't have a frickin' clue when it came to women, and I have to wonder if any man really does. You say we're complicated... but I think it boils down to the fact you're all just too simple to understand. A woman isn't complex because all she truly needs is love. Even if it's only loving herself, she'll find what she needs.

And you don't know...

That I dug my key into the side

Of his pretty, little souped up four-wheel drive,

Carved my name into his leather seats...

I took a Louisville Slugger to both headlights,

Slashed a hole in all four tires...

Is it really my fault that you don't know how to treat a lady? I didn't really want to hurt your baby, but I'm sure she understands... probably even more than you do. After all, she was the one to let me cry on her dashboard when you'd slip inside the bar for a little 'drink...' She comforted me as best she could with all those pretty love songs that played on her radio, some about finding it and other about losing the feelings that I thought we once shared. Well, to be fair, maybe you were getting a drink-

If locking lips with the waitress counts.

She was the one to let me beat on her armrests every time I saw you give another girl a wink, and she never once complained when I'd slam my fist into her window, praying to the Goddess it would shatter. If I said I'm sorry after all I've done, it's to her, not you. But maybe, I think, just maybe...

Maybe he'll think before he cheats...

Right now... she's probably up singing

Some white-trash version

Of Shania karaoke...

There's one reason to be grateful that I'm not the one standing by your side because there ain't no way in hell that girl can carry a tune. You used to laugh at me when I'd try and sing along with the radio, which is now probably the only thing I spared, but you're just a grinnin' to see her making a fool of herself up on stage. I bet you'll even nudge the guy standing next to you if only for the sake of having the chance to tell 'im,

"Hey, man, I'm tapping that tonight!"

I really should've known that men weren't worth my time. You're all in it together in the end, and even if she's butch, a woman can't worm her way inside without someone trying to get in bed with her. They'll tell her promises of how they'll be the one to turn her straight, and yet I can't help thinkin' that maybe she has been all along. Maybe the rest of us are the ones who aren't seeing things from the right angle, and she's had it all figured out from day one while the rest of us keep on trying to please the man of ours 'dreams.'

Too bad it's nothin' but fairy tales...

Right now... she's probably saying

"I'm drunk,"

And he's a thinking that he's gonna get lucky...

Oh, there she goes as she falls off the stage and into your arms, just like you planned. She's biting your neck and whispering sweet nothings in your ear while you set her in that chair in the corner, and you can't help but let that sly grin of yours come out of hiding. After all, you know where this is all going because that's how it was with me, wasn't it? This is nothing more than another successful performance on your part, one more notch in that damn belt of yours. The one with the belt buckle you like to use for a bottle opener?

I assure you, though, you've really out done yourself this time!

Here's to hopin' that little girl will open her eyes to see the real you because I don't know if I can watch it happen all over again, only with her in my place. I wanna scream for you to leave her be, but I know better than to call out to you and beg. After all, I know it'll only fall on deaf ears anyway.

You never listened to me before, did you...

Right now... he's probably dabbing on

Three dollars worth

Of that bathroom Polo...

Trying to mask your scent as you stalk your prey, I see. It's not a bad technique, but apparently no one's bothered to tell you that cologne rhymes with 'alone' which is a bit of an ironic thought, now isn't it? You were never one for words, though... so I guess it's to be expected that you didn't know. However, I think I'll let her be the one to tell you since she's going to be your baby doll from now on.

But I wouldn't bet your money on it.

She'll know soon enough that your worth absolutely nothing to her or anyone else once she gets an outside opinion, and then, if she's smart, she'll leave your stinkin' ass out in the street. It's about time you started smelling like those hookers you hunt down out on the street if you ask me, but it's not really my place to say such things. They say that actions speak louder than words anyway which is exactly what I hoping for. Not that I'll be around to explain it all to you after you see the present I've left for you, of course.

Oh, and you don't know...

That I dug my key into the side

Of his pretty, little souped up four-wheel drive,

Carved my name into his leather seats...

I took a Louisville Slugger to both headlights,

Slashed a hole in all four tires...

Just like that gas-guzzling beauty of yours, I'm broken, but unlike her, I can fix myself even if you don't realize it. Oh, I'll be back one day, and dammit, I'm going to be the most beautiful woman you've ever seen! I'll put up my hair as I strut around in a new pair of Fermani pumps that I got on designer clearance at just the right time in my life. Did you say you were an ass man?

Just remember that when my ass walks right past you looking damn fine on that day should it ever come.

You know... I really hated for it to end like this. I would much rather have stood right outside the door as you walked out, arm in arm with your new decoration, but I don't want to give you the satisfaction of seeing my mascara stain my damp cheeks even though the tears have long since dried up. You shouldn't have the gratification of knowing that I didn't bother to find a pair of matching shoes to go with my dress tonight, either.

And maybe next time he'll think before he cheats...

I might've saved a little trouble for the next girl!

'Cause the next time that he cheats...

Oh, you know it won't be on me!

No... not me. Never again will I let myself fall for another man like you, one that only wants to break my heart into a million little pieces. I've sworn it to myself so many times before, but I know it won't happen again because I've suffered through it all now. The heartache, the tears, the loathing... It's just gonna end, once and for all.

Right here, right now... it's finally, completely over.

I might be just another notch in your belt, but I'm the last that there'll ever be for a piece of shit like you. I'm not the one who deserves better, you know, which is why I bothered to do this in the first place. I didn't have to come here and wreck the only thing that seemed to matter to you, and yet, here I am, with a bat in hand and an anger no man could possibly understand. Women have to stick together instead of ganging up on one another for a man who's not even worth anyone's time.

Like I said, I'm not doing this for me...

'Cause I dug my key into the side

Of his pretty little souped-up four wheel drive,

Carved my name into his leather seats...

I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights,

Slashed a hole in all four tires...

And as I watch you swagger out of that bar, her draped on your arm, I just have to laugh. Your jaw drops to the pavement while your eyes swell to the size of golf balls. It's horrific, it's terrible, and yet... you just can't look away, can you? It's every man's worst nightmare. Not to be caught, of course, since you knew that would happen from the beginning, but never could you have imagined this level of destruction. It's the worst of the worst for you, isn't it? To have your 'baby' end up this way...

If you're lucky, this is closest you'll ever come to witnessing murder.

She follows your gaze with a befuddled expression on her bright, young face, but when her big, blue eyes fall on the sight that lays before you, she can't hide her disgust. However, it's certainly not with your truck as much as it is with you. My name glares at her from the front seat, and she feels her heart beat faster and faster although she feels nothing of love for you or anyone else. It's anger... for all the times she's ever been double-crossed, picked up only to be cast aside, and if for nothing more than instant, our eyes meet in the darkness. I know she cannot see me, standing here completely, utterly alone. Even so... she knows.

We're the same, she and I...

Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats...

Oh, maybe next time he'll think before he cheats...

Oh... before he cheats...

Oh...