A/N: Face Matt because heel Matt blows and I can never imagine him being aligned with Edge. Kayfabealicious, please. And before I get "OMG DA HARDIEZ R SOO NICE DEY CULD NEVA H8 DOSE GRILLLZZZ," remember that nice people can detest others.
"For the last fucking time, Maria, I'm just not interested in her!" Matt Hardy bellowed to his friend, Maria Kanellis. "I've told you once. I've told you a thousand times. I am not interested in Eve Torres in any way, shape, or form. I don't even like her as a friend, let alone a girlfriend."
Maria frowned at her good friend. She knew that Matt wasn't really mad at her. But didn't he see what everyone else saw? Matt and Eve were perfect for each other. She saw the twinkle in his eye whenever he looked at the newest Diva Search winner, and Maria also noticed how flustered Eve always was around the elder Hardy brother.
"You know you like her, Matt. We can all tell," Maria stated, crossing her lanky arms over her scantily clad chest, just having finished up a tag team match. Ironically enough, Eve was her partner.
"I don't like her. What proof do you even have?" Matt was truly getting annoyed with the whole ordeal. If he liked Eve, he would have asked her out himself.
"Well, if you didn't like her, we still wouldn't be talking about it," Maria smirked, thinking that she had proved a point.
"You know, Maria, maybe you should go back to your ditzy gimmick, because you are really acting like an idiot right now," Matt snapped, glaring at the innocent Diva.
Maria's cheeks flushed as she frowned. "I know you don't mean that."
"You're right, but you're acting like it right now. I don't like Eve. I wouldn't lie to you, Ria. I really, honestly, do not like Eve."
"Okay," Maria shrugged, knowing that it was the furthest thing from the truth.
"You're killing Eve," Jeff sighed, getting ready to leave the arena with his brother. He pulled off his homemade arm covers and tossing them carelessly into his small suitcase.
"Oh, and you're not doing the same to Maria?" Matt said, his instincts telling him to defend his close friend, even against his own flesh and blood. "Dude, she's my best friend, and she's totally and completely in love with you."
"And she makes my blood boil at a temperature that's hotter than a thousand burning suns," Jeff retorted, his face convoluting at the mere mention of Maria's name.
"That's my friend you're talking about, Jeff," Matt growled.
"And Eve isn't my friend? Do you think I like the way you're treating the poor girl?" Jeff snapped back.
It was an interesting situation the boys were in. They were each good friends with one of the Divas, Matt with Maria and Jeff with Eve. But each friend was hopelessly in love with the other Hardy brother, who detested that same Diva.
"Look, man, I don't like Eve. I will never like Eve, so I'm not going to treat her any differently than I do right now."
"I feel the same about Maria, dude," Jeff replied, shrugging as he pulled on a fresh shirt.
"So what are we going to do about this?" Matt asked. "I'm not going to stop hanging out with Maria. You won't stop with Eve. And we're brothers. We're always together. We're both bound to run into the objects of our hatred."
"We're going to do nothing. Or we just make it clear to everyone that we don't like them. Hopefully they'll stop trying to set us up. The Bella Twins came up to me earlier in catering and asked me about taking Maria out. I think I puked in my mouth a little bit."
"I'm going to ignore the fact that Maria is my friend only because I snapped on her earlier when she tried to get me to date Eve," Matt said, rolling his eyes. "I hope you have a plan for this, Jeff."
"Do I look like a man with a plan to you?" Jeff asked.
"You're right," Matt nodded. "Maybe I should call up The Brian Kendrick."