A/N: Oh, it's so fun doing this…lmaolmao
"Boss, you have visitors," the gruff voice of Ezekiel Jackson stated after there was a knock on the door.
"Let them in, Zeke," The Brian Kendrick answered, nodding his head.
Ezekiel took two steps to the door and opened it for whoever was knocking. "In."
The Hardy brothers slowly stepped into the smoky office. The blinds were drawn and the room was dimly lit by a single lamp with a bright green shade over it.
"Did you have an appointment, boys?" The Brian Kendrick asked, taking a long drag from his recently lit joint, his voice a little raspy. He sighed and smiled as he exhaled, filling up the small room with more smoke.
"Er…" Matt started, deciding that he should do most of the talking, "We did not make on, Don Kendrick. We come to you in—"
"Wait a minute," The Brian Kendrick interrupted. He sat up straight, his voice suddenly back to normal. "Don Kendrick? I'm not the fucking Godfather."
Matt shook his head. "Sorry, it was the, erm…atmosphere."
"Oh," Kendrick shrugged, leaning back in his chair. "What is it that I can do for you boys today?" he asked, his voice turning raspy again.
"Matt, do me a favor and don't talk," Jeff said, placing a hand on Matt's shoulder when he saw his brother open his mouth. "Brian, we need a plan."
Kendrick chuckled. "Well, I am the man with a plan, after all. So, what is it? Do you need a horse's head? Vickie Guerrero's head on a platter? Or maybe some fine herb?" Kendrick offered, extending the hand holding the joint to Jeff.
Jeff shook his hands in the air. "No, man. I'm trying to stay clean. Look, we just have two girls over us that we don't want over us. You know what I'm saying?"
"You don't want two girls all over you? Are you nuts? Hey, I'll be glad to take them off your hands for you."
"It's Maria and Eve," Matt interjected.
"Oh, nevermind then. Forget I offered. I may be dirty, but I'm not that dirty. But why are these girls in love with you guys? Why don't they like normal guys like Edge or something? Because Edge is a cool guy," Kendrick nodded, looking up at Ezekiel for approval. Zeke nodded, as well.
"Are you high?" Jeff asked, staring at The Brian Kendrick for the words that had just exited his mouth.
"No shit, Sherlock," Kendrick muttered, putting out the joint in a ceramic ashtray in the shape of a banana.
"Well, people are saying that we're meant to be with them," Matt explained, rubbing his temples. The secondhand weed was not agreeing with his brain at the moment.
"Jeff, just because you dress in bright colors and Maria acts like she's an illegal alien beamed down from Planet Rainbow Upchuck doesn't mean that you're meant to be with her. That's stupid. And as for Matt and Eve? Well…That's just fucking retarded."
"Thank you! If you weren't such a skeeze, I'd shake your hand," Matt said.
Kendrick's normally goofy look turned into one of disgust. "Skeeze? Skeeze? Did Matt Hardy just call me a skeeze? Matt fucking Hardy? That's it! Out! Out of my office! No one insults The Brian Kendrick and gets away with it! Think of your own damn plan! Bailiff!"
Zeke "gently escorted" the brothers out of the office, meaning that he picked both of them up by the collar, kicked the door down, and tossed them halfway down the hallway.
"Damnit, Zeke, now we need a new door."