A/N: Hi all! A number of folks have asked me to post this story, which I initiallly posted on , here also. You're also welcome to join us at "The List" discussion thread over on the Twilighted forums under Post-Eclipse Fan Fiction.

To answer a few questions in advance:

1) This is a Post-Eclipse Fan Fiction. That means that I will be ignoring Breaking Dawn for the most part. There will be no Renesmee, for example. If that's too great a shock to your system, you might wish to choose another story!

2) I am currently planning to take the story at least to their honeymoon. I am considering taking it past Bella's change. Still deciding.

3) This story contains mature themes and is not for minors. If you are uncomfortable with explicit language or sexual content, choose another story.

4) While I make every effort to remain true to Stephenie Meyers's characterization of Edward and Bella, they will be OOC at least to some extent here. Indeed, that is part of the point.

5) And, of course, Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just one of the many who likes to make her characters sexual beings. :)

Thanks, in advance, for reading. Enjoy!

"Argh!" I vented my frustration into my pillow, hoping Edward was far enough away not to hear. Emmett and Jasper had just come to claim him for an overnight hunting trip, but not before we had spent the previous hour on my bed, kissing me into a frenzied state of arousal. I had no idea how I would possibly make it through the next four weeks until the wedding without literally exploding.

Something needed to give.

Don't get me wrong. I love Edward's kissing. I love kissing him. And he has been willing to push his boundaries, even if only a little. The first time he let me take his tongue into my mouth, for example, I almost passed out. Having not only the sweetness of his breath but the incredible nectar of his taste inside of me caused a nearly overwhelming sense of euphoria. The first time he licked me from collar bone to jaw my heart threatened to pound out of my chest. One time he even wrapped his lips around his teeth and nibbled on my ear. This was all unbearably good.

But then, there was always that point when Edward would pull back. And he'd either leave to go hunting, like he had tonight, or wrap me up in a cocoon of blankets, effectively separating our bodies. Either way, I'd end up wanting more, much more. And feeling frustrated.

I understood his rationale completely. I know he's afraid of hurting me. And I know he is committed to his early twentieth century sense of morality. And I love both his protectiveness and his gentlemanliness.

But, seriously, there's only so much a girl can take.

As I lay there on my bed, I couldn't help the fantasies that started to play out like movies against the insides of my closed eyelids.

In one, I came into my bedroom from just showering. Not realizing Edward was there, his presence startled me, and I dropped the towel I had wrapped around my body. In my fantasy, I wasn't at all self-conscious about Edward seeing me naked, and no longer able to control himself, he lunged at me—in a good way, of course—finally claiming me for his own.

In another, I managed to coax Edward into the shower, just so we could get used to being naked around one another, you see. I convinced him to wash my back for me (I couldn't help myself—I snorted—I could so tell this was a fantasy—Edward was touching my naked body!), and finally he couldn't help himself, and he pressed me hard up against the cold tile and entered me. Ungh, the very idea of the cold hard tile pressed behind me at the same time as Edward's cold hard body pressed up against the front of me. It was almost like being with two…

Oh God, there's something wrong with me.

In yet another, Edward got jealous of Mike Newton's advances at my work, and took me from behind against the check-out counter while Mike watched from the back of the store. Wait. What? Where did that come from?

I sat up in my bed. My brain was not helping the situation between my legs.

All of a sudden, an unbidden thought occurred to me. There was a way I could make this better.

Could I really? Despite being eighteen years old, I was not particularly familiar with sex in any of its forms. Years ago, I experimented with pleasuring myself. But I was never completely comfortable with doing so, both because I was often left with a painful sense of longing down there, and because one time my mom came into my room right after, and I swear she knew. I didn't want to chance it again.

But, maybe, it was worth trying again. The benefits seemed manifest. First, I could avoid exploding. I think anyone would agree that was something to be avoided. Second, I could avoid pushing Edward beyond his (limited) comfort zone. He would probably appreciate that. Third, maybe I could release some of this pre-wedding stress. Alice's list of 'decisions that needed to be made' was driving me completely insane. And, fourth, I could avoid exploding.

Clearly, between my make-out sessions with Edward and my overactive brain, I had plenty of material to, um, stimulate any such efforts.

Screw it. I slid off of my bed and walked into the bathroom. Charlie was long asleep but there was little chance of the shower waking him. It would take a freight train running through his room to have even the chance of rousing him.

I locked the door behind me—just in case—and turned the shower on, adjusting the water to the perfect warmth. Stripping off my clothes, I stepped in, feeling a little silly now, but even more, feeling incredibly aroused at the very idea of some release.

I looked up. I can't believe I'm going to do this! I was both incredulous and excited. Gotta love those removable showerheads.

I pulled the showerhead down and adjusted it to the firm massage setting and held it against my neck and shoulders. The pulsating water felt wonderful on my back and relaxed me immediately. If nothing else, I should do this more often. I could already feel some of my tension melting away. I bent over slightly and moved the nozzle down to spray on my lower back and felt my body relax even further.

Slowly, my movies started playing in my head again. I moved the showerhead around to my front. Oh!

This was better than I even imagined.

I let all the movies play out again, several times through, and even came up with a couple more: me finally getting to have Edward in my mouth; Edward taking me in his mouth (ungh); Edward pressing me up against a tree on the side of the meadow. The possibilities were endless!

But then I felt the frustration again. I was so close. But I couldn't quite get there. And then the water started to run cold. Great. I guess this little experiment is over.

But then, something happened. I liked the cold water. The cold water was good. The cold water...felt...like...him.

And with that image of him pressing me up against a tree in our meadow still fresh in my mind, I finally found my release.

I threw one hand up against the tile to avoid falling over, the orgasm that finally found me being so strong that it almost knocked me to my knees.

At least a minute passed before my brain fully returned to me. I was still breathing hard, and started giggling. Holy crow! If that was even a fraction of what it would be like when I was actually with Edward, I was going to die. And I couldn't freaking wait.

I shut off the water, now freezing cold, and towel dried myself. I was shivering, whether from the cold water or the aftereffects of my little experiment, I wasn't sure. Either way, it wasn't unpleasant.

Returning to my room, I threw on a pair of flannel pajama bottoms, a tank top, and a sweatshirt to try to warm myself back up. I crawled into bed, actually feeling like sleep was a remote possibility this time.

I looked at the clock. It was 12:30. Edward would likely be back in about six hours. I needed to get some sleep or I would be a zombie tomorrow. I couldn't help giggling at that. Like we need anymore mythological creatures in this town.

My body was sated now, but my mind was on a mission. Those fantasies had done the trick. They had gotten rid of my frustration, kept me from exploding, and ensured that I would be a much happier Bella tomorrow when my love returns. I needed a stockpile of such ideas to keep me going for the next four weeks, and as I drifted off to sleep, my mind was busy conjuring up more ideas for the next time.

I want to thank everyone at who has already read and reviewed this story. The great folks over there have catapulted this story into the Most Reviewed and Most Favorited lists on that site and it's so awesome to me I can't even tell you. Thanks also to for reviewing the story and to the fine ladies over at the Perv Pack Smut Shack also for reviewing. Just, thank you. Simple words, I know, but truly heart felt.