So people kept requesting a Kensei/Mashiro oneshot in addition to my other ones.

Okay so I mentioned this scene in both "All the Same" and "Crash Into Me" which are two stories that heavily feature Kensei and Mashiro. But I changed some things so its not technically tied to either of those stories. But if you wanna go check 'em out feel free. Same with "Arcana" which is where the comment at the end comes from.

I swear one day I will write a story where a completely sober Kensei and Mashiro make out. Til then you're gonna have to enjoy this. So they act different and make out and you get the idea...

"To our new Captain, Kensei Muguruma! May you always kick ass and lead us to victory even if you've got the dirtiest tattoo in the world!"

"I told ya that's not what it means!"

Cheers went up all around the Ninth Division, completely drowning his objections out. Kensei sighed and let them cheer, knowing he could scream himself hoarse and they still wouldn't hear him. His promotion to Captainship had been long overdue. He had been practically running the Ninth Division since he was a Third Seat while his Captain was content to be a lazy ass. He reached up and ran a hand through his grey hair. The stupid promotion ceremony was right after his Test which meant he was nothing short of exhausted. Normally he would have had a day or two but the Ninth needed a Captain and as the highest ranking officer he was considered perfect for the spot. The Ninth had decided to do what every Division did when they got a new Captain and have a wild party. Currently a huge assortment of picnic tables had been set up in the Division courtyard as lamps provided illumination. Half the Division was drunk and the other half would be before sunrise.

Kensei couldn't wait to make their sorry hungover asses clean up the mess they were sure to leave.

"Alright Kensei," Shinobu Eishima, Heizo Kasaki and Todo Gizaeimon sat down next to their new Captain, "since your Captain and all you gotta celebrate," Eishima said.

"I gotta what?" Kensei demanded as a series of small glasses were put down in front of him, "no way. I ain't drinkin tonight."

"You gotta," Kasaki said.

"No way, what I gotta do is make sure someone covers your drunk asses," he said.

"We got the Eight doing that," Gizaeimon said with a grin.

"That doesn't make me feel better," he said as Eishima slung an arm over his shoulders while Kasaki began to fill the glasses with a clear liquid that Kensei was positive was not going to taste like water, "I ain't drinkin tonight!" he objected, trying to reason with his Seated Officers.

"Sure you are," Eishima said, "its bad luck not to drink at your promotion ceremony. Besides you don't want the division to be scared of you now do you?"


"Okay now you have to go down the line as fast as you can," Kasaki said setting the bottle down, "nine shots for the Ninth Division!"


"Come on," Eishima said. Kensei glared, "oy! You all--our illustrious Captain's gonna show you all how to take shots like a man!" Suddenly the table was very crowded, "what was that Captain Muguruma?" he asked raising an eyebrow. Kensei glared up at him.

"Down the line?" he demanded looking at Kasaki who grinned and nodded.

Swearing all kinds of pain on his Seated Officers and cursing his damn pride Kensei grabbed the first glass. By the fifth the liquor stopped stinging his throat. By the eight he felt kind of warm and by the ninth the world was starting to look far more pleasant. Kensei shook his head to clear it but that was clearly not going to do it. The men all whooped and laughed, throwing up their hands and cheering as the alcohol was passed around. When his glass was filled with whatever liquid they were passing around someone would declare a toast to their Captain's health and Kensei would find himself drinking it down. When the world began to be even foggier he decided with whatever brain cells he had left that it was time to excuse himself to a place in his Division that had far less alcohol before he did something truly stupid.

Then he saw his Lieutenant.

He had named Mashiro Kuna his Lieutenant for reasons he was still not sure of. Most of the time he barely found her tolerable but he supposed that kept him on his toes. At the moment her personality was, unfortunately, the last thing on his mind. She was laying down on one of the vacant picnic tables, her eyes on the stars as she squinted up at them. Leave it to Mashiro to find the one spot he was looking for and already be in it. Figuring that she at least was not going to make him do more shots Kensei walked over to where she was, praying that he didn't stagger too much. He sat down next to her on the bench alongside the table.

"Kensei!" she cried joyously pushing herself up and falling back down.

She was drunk too.

"Why are you over here?" he demanded looking at her.

"I dunno, I wanted to look at the stars," she said with a shrug, "they're all pretty and starry."

"You mean sparkly dumb ass," he said.

"No I don't," she pouted, "I mean starry. Stars don't sparkle they burn. You should know that since you're a Captain and all."

"Shut up," he said.

"Your so grumpy Kensei," she pouted before she rolled onto her stomach, pulling her legs up behind her so her feet stuck up in the air, dangerously close to his face, "oh I gotcha a present!" she said with a bright smile, grabbing the package that she had been using as a pillow, "here!"

He took the brightly wrapped gift with its big floppy bow and began to open it, pausing only long enough to stick the bow on top of Mashiro's head. Inside was a flat box. He pulled it open to reveal a pair of black gloves, designed to protect someone's palms while leaving their fingers exposed for easy movement. His old ones had finally given in the other day, too shredded to be of any use. He looked at the gloves and at his Lieutenant whose only reply was to grin impishly up at him and wiggled her feet back and forth.

"You can't be a Captain without good gloves," she said even though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Thanks," he said pulling the gloves on. She grinned before something soft hit her face.

"Kense--" she grabbed the bright pink scarf that had been thrown at her.

"You can't be my Lieutenant with those hickeys you keep showin up with," he said gruffly, "at least cover 'em up."

"You're just jealous," she pouted impishly up at him moving herself into a seated position. Her legs dangled down on either side of his chest as she tied the scarf around her neck, "there, no hickeys!" she grinned up at him, "at least, none until you give them to me."

Kensei choked on his own spit as he stared at his Lieutenant's words. Mashiro grinned down at him. Kensei remembered then why he had picked her to be his Lieutenant. Because despite her sometimes infuriating attitude, Mashiro Kuna was the most polar opposite woman he had ever met in his entire life. She didn't hero worship him or think he was cool just because he was a good Captain. At the end of the day what she did was balance him out. She made sure he didn't take the world too seriously or, most importantly, get too high an opinion of himself. The fact that she was a fucking brilliant hand-to-hand combatant who could hold her own even against him--while laughing in his face--was an added bonus, especially in light of the fact that Kensei's true strength lay in his ability to strategize and direct multiple fighters on a battlefield. He might have been the strength of Ninth Division but anyone with eyes could see Mashiro was the soul.

The very childish soul who might have just killed her Captain.

"Kensei!" Mashiro whacked his back with her heel in a failed effort to help him clear his lungs, "stop being so silly!"

"Shut up! " Kensei barked sitting up fully. The only problem was that thanks to Mashiro's attempt to help him breath her foot was hooked over his shoulder. Mashiro of course saw nothing wrong with the situation but Kensei felt heat creep up the back of his neck.

He didn't know why really, it was not like Mashiro would think there was anything sexual in having her foot around his shoulder. Normally Kensei would just chalk it up to the fact that because Mashiro was such a good fighter she knew that her advantage was that if she was close enough she'd be able to hit him more effectively. They had been in far more compromising situations than the one they found themselves in now but for some reason this felt different. Maybe because they were not fighting or maybe he really had ingested far too much alcohol but the feeling of her leg on his shoulder was somehow warm and nice. Even when she flexed her foot and tapped the back of his burning neck he didn't mind the sensation of her skin on his even if it was through the fabric of their cloths.

"Your hair's so funny Kensei," she said, "its like Ukitakes."

"Mine's natural," he said, "my eyebrows are grey too."

"Yeah but your eyes are like honey."


"Mmhmm," Mashiro made a sound of confirmation, "honey. My eyes are boring she added, "they're just brown."

"Your hair makes up for that," he said inclining his head to her bright green hair.

Unfortunately it seemed some the alcohol decided to have a delayed reaction in him. It was his Lieutenant's foot that saved him from humiliating himself in front of his Division when he came close to falling back. Mashiro pulled him back with her heel but unfortunately she lost her balance and her foot slid off his shoulder, the weight and change of angle pulling her down off the table she was sitting on. Slowed with drunkenness, Kensei's hands still came around her to steady her and somehow she wound up straddling him, her legs dangling off the bench on either side of his hips. Kensei's eyes widened at their suddenly indecent position as Mashiro's hands landed on his shoulders and brought them even closer together. He could feel his cheeks heat up as the blush spread from his neck.

The truth was that for all his battle prowess Kensei was not exactly a ladies man. In fact, compared to his free spirited Lieutenant the number of women he slept with was a joke. Kensei had been raised by his parents and there was no question that it was his mother who was in charge of the Muguruma house. Hard work got you places, girls did not. He knew that girls tended to be weirded out by his hair or the fact that he was good a fighting but not exactly suave. So he focused on fighting and getting better at the things he was good at. Why did he need to try and make himself into a ladies man? His old Captain was a ladies man and that just got the Ninth into a lot of trouble. What did he need girls for? Of course now that one was straddling him, he had to admit that if he wasn't so confused he probably had missed out on some things in life.

For her part Mashiro couldn't get over how cute Kensei was being. She always thought he was cute, especially when he was caught off guard which usually happened thanks to her. She didn't know why that seemed to happen all the time. Their personalities just seemed to clash just as much as their hair did. But she didn't mind. Despite the fact that he thought he was terrifying, Mashiro wasn't scared of Kensei and she usually couldn't see why everyone else seemed to be. He wasn't that scary. Well maybe on the battlefield, he was scary there but everywhere else he wasn't. Especially not when he was caught off guard and had those moments where he fell back on his battle commander personality. But right now he had his hands on her legs, his eyes were wide and his cheeks were bright red. He looked like a cross between battle commander Kensei and a schoolboy.

"You're blushing Kensei," Mashiro said looking at her Captain's cheeks.

"Shut u--"

Impishly Mashiro leaned forward and touched her lips to his.

Kensei's eyes threatened to bug out of their sockets. Mashiro leaned back, winding her arms around his neck, her overly long sleeves tickling the back of his burning neck. Kensei opened his mouth in shock. She had just kissed him, his annoying Lieutenant had just pressed her lips to his and now she was sitting on his lap grinning up at him as though she was proud of what she had done. His honey eyes narrowed, she actually was proud of kissing him. Maybe it was the fog in his brain but he made up his mind not to let her get away with this.

"Mashiro," he growled.

"Yeah Kensei?" she asked leaning back as far as her arms would let her.

"Why'd you do that?" he demanded.

"Why not?" she asked, "you're acting like you've never been kissed before Kensei."

"That's not the point," he snapped shifting her off him and getting to his feet.

Mashiro pouted at his reaction and got to onto her knees before jumping to the ground. Unfortunately thanks to the alcohol she had drank jumping to her feet was not the best idea. Embarrassed or no it was not like Kensei would just let her fall. He just happened to be as un-cordinated as her. The only way to keep them both upright was to wrap his arms around her and steady her on her feet. Mashiro felt herself grin. She'd never actually tell him--well she figured she was just about drunk enough to tell him.

"I like your arms," she said.

Kensei gaped at her.

She was flirting with him.

Mashiro Kuna, his annoying green haired Lieutenant who had just kissed him was flirting with him. He had a feeling that the order had been somewhat confused but at the moment his mind was far too foggy to tell. Mashiro seemed to find nothing wrong with the situation, certainly not like Kensei did. Wrong might be the wrong word actually. There was little wrong with the body pressed up against him except for the fact that they were both drunk and Kensei Muguruma was not the type of man to take advantage of a woman--even if they were both completely hammered. He took a step back but his legs hit the picnic table and he sat down hard on the wood. Mashiro on the other hand put her knees squarely between his legs and wound up towering over her poor Captain.

"Are you trying to run away from me?" Mashiro asked pouting, "you're supposed to be fearless Kensei," she said.

"Che," he shook his head, bad idea, and glared at her with as much force as he could muster, "we're both drunk. I don't wanna do somethin we're gonna regret tomorrow."

"You're wasting time, stupid Kensei," she said, one of her hands coming onto his thigh, her other resting on his shoulder as she brought her face closer to him.

So Mashiro Kuna kissed her Captain.


This time Kensei at least had enough sense to react to her. It was not like he had much of a choice when they both lost their balance again and landed flat on the picnic table. Mashiro grinned and pushed Kensei's arms over his head as she laid directly on top of him, not caring that the entire Division was watching the two of them make out on a picnic table under the stars. If the Division was confused by the fact that Mashiro was sitting on Kensei their jaws were far too close to the ground to question it. The fact that free spirited ditzy Mashiro was sitting on the chest of the stoic, rule playing, somewhat awkward Kensei Muguruma and kissing him was just far too shocking to be hung up on a technicality like that.

"So," Rose turned to Lisa, "did you see that coming?"

"Pfft," the Eighth Division member snorted and shook her head, "I'm just surprised it took them this long."

"Oy! You two!" Shinji called loudly over his shoulder, "get a room!"

"What room?" Love asked.

"I don't know, their room I guess," he shrugged, "I heard it last time I was in the Transient World."

"Shinji we have to talk about the strange things you bring back from the transient world," Love said, "Rose still hasn't put down the guitar."

"Hey! I'm getting good at that thing," Rose said defensively.

Shinji snorted and shook his head, plainly amused before he took another long drink.

"Well the Ninth isn't gonna question his manliness now," Shinji said with a shake of his head, "good thing because with that tattoo he's gonna need help in that department."

"We all know that's not what it means," Lisa said sharply.

"Hey!" they both turned at the sight of Eishima staggering over to them, "I just heard Mashiro and guess what we're callin our Captain now."

"What?" Shinji asked, unable to contain himself.

"We're callin him Captain Sexy Chest!"

YES I know that its probably not the case that the Division gets completely blitzed when their new Captain comes in but hell, whatever. I said the 8th took over for the night.

YES they acted differently. Welcome to intoxication.

Whatever, I've got a bad cold and am feeling very self indulgent.

Speaking of, in the interest of shameless self promotion if you like the Vizards check out my new Shinji-centric story "Book of the Dead"