Weird-ass title, I know. But it'll make a little sense here and a little more in the second chapter, though it's not really profound so don't read too much into it.

I know this was supposed to be a oneshot but I promised yaoi4evandnevayuri that I'd have it up today and it's only half-done, plus it's too long for a oneshot, so it is now officially a twoshot! First chapter is plot, second is mostly just porn. I like to separate those two a lot, I've noticed xD

Disclaimer: I don't own Off*Beat, Jen does. And possibly Tokyopop does, since they're the straight-up assholes that won't give us the third book.


"Tory!" Mandy called out happily after the redhead as he headed away from the school on Friday.

"Erg…" He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to pretend he hadn't heard her. He just wanted to get home to check on Colin.

"Tory Tory TORY TORRRRYYYYYYYYY!" She then shrieked, eliminating any small possibility that he actually hadn't heard.

"What?" He sighed, indulging Mandy's over-enthusiasm by turning around to face her where she stood with her friends at the bus stop.

"Do you know what Tues~day is?!" She sang out.

"Ew, Mandy no," her friends argued behind her. Both Tory and Mandy ignored them.

"Um…the 31st." Tory checked his watch to reaffirm the date.

"Ye~es, the 31st of October, which is…?" She giggled.

He refused to give in to her little game. "October the 31st which is eighteen days before Colin's birthday."

"Really?" She paused. "Ok. Well, ANYWAY! It's Halloween, and you have to come to a costume party at my house!"

"Mandyyy…" Her friends complained, yet nevertheless sounding resigned. Mandy usually got her way, just because it was so hard to convince her to change her mind.

"Eh…" Tory refused to look her in the eye. "Um, I really don't…"

"Aw, do you have to give out candy to kids at your house or something?" Mandy pouted.

"Ah, yea, that's it!" Tory exclaimed, pouncing on the convenient excuse in relief and turning to keep walking, though he would actually be participating in a Halloween tradition with Paul that involved several videogame tourneys, the energy for which was reinforced by Mary's candy bowl and the prize of which was whatever remained in the bottom of it come midnight. Pshaw, kids don't deserve free candy, he and Paul EARNED the stuff.

"But…" Mandy gave a fake sniffle, peeking deviously at him from the corner of her eye. "COLIN said he'd be coming," she commented sadly, checking to see his reaction.

He perked up and turned back around. "He will?"

"Yup!" She giggled. "And I guarantee his outfit will be cute; he agreed to let me make it myself. Think SHORT shorts." She grinned as Tory's eyes went slightly out of focus, her friends behind her looking at each other weirdly.

"Mmm…but! Uh, I don't have a costume." Tory sighed. He really didn't want to go to Wal-Mart four days before Halloween to try and get a costume stocked big enough to fit him. With all that would be left he'd end up looking stupid, like a clown or a half-way done vampire or something. And he refused to touch the Power Rangers.

Mandy pretended to think. "I bet Colin would like you as a…cat…" She suggested slyly.

Tory nodded thoughtfully, remembering Colin's feline obsession. "But where the hell would I get a cat outfit?" He arched an eyebrow, then proceeded to be scared as Mandy shot him an evil grin.

"SO glad you asked." She chuckled darkly, dragging him off. "See you tomorrow!" She called over her shoulder to her friends.

"Mandy's got such weird tastes…" One girl sighed hopelessly to the other, watching Tory hopping sideways trying to regain his balance as she yanked him along.


On the way, Mandy mused over Tory's reaction. Interestingly enough, it was about the same as Colin's the day before.


"But…Colin! You have to come!"

"Look, Mandy, I don't "do" parties, okay?"

"But Tory will be coming, and he'll be dressed like a ca~at…" she enticed. She could practically see his ears perk as he turned around.

"…he will?"

"Yup!" She smiled innocently.

"…okay. But I don't have a costume, hmm…" He trailed off in thought.

"Oh, I'm almost done making your costume!" Mandy chirped.

"Oh…what is it?"

"SO glad you asked. Bu~ut…you'll have to wait till the day of the party because I'm not done sewing." She grinned.

"…" Why did he have the vaguest feeling that he'd have said no if she'd told him what it was?

~~~~~End Flashback~~~~~

"So," Tory panted, trying to keep up as he was dragged along by the preppy girl. "Why didn't Colin…tell me he…was going to this…party?"

"Haha! Well, if you'd been there before school yesterday you would've heard him. Then he left early I guess because he wasn't in Physics, and he didn't show up today. Is he okay?"

"Yea, he'll be in school Monday," Tory answered, repeating what the doctor had told him over Colin's cell phone last night when he had called to see if Colin knew what he'd missed in school that day. Dammit, he wanted to be home checking on Colin right now! But if Colin would be fine before the day of the party and he would like Tory in a cat outfit…

"Why wasn't he in school, couldn't he walk?" Mandy asked in an offhanded tone.

"No, he was in bed," Tory answered inadvertently, not realizing the way Mandy had set that up to sound.

"Where were you yesterday?" Mandy asked with a suspicious grin, happily remembering the library.

"Ugh, you and your fantasies," Tory groaned, getting it. "I was at the dentist's."

"Cavities?" Mandy asked in disappointment.

"None, as usual," Tory sighed, "but my mom always forgets to take me until either Easter or Halloween rolls around and she goes out to shop for candy. Then it hits her all over again and she drags me in for my six-month regular check-up."

…so what if he ate half a bowl of candy in one night and one morning every year? He brushed his teeth twice daily, dammit! And meticulously for the whole two minutes, too! Why should he have to go to the dentist to put up with fluoride when all the old fart did was gush about him to the assistant hygienists over his perfect white teeth?

Finally they stopped, Mandy having dragged him twelve blocks to the nearest mall and up the escalator to the proper store.

"…I'm not going in there," Tory stated, staring wide-eyed up at the sign with a truly frightened expression.

"Of course you are," Mandy chuckled, yanking him into Spencer's.


"Come out of there! I need to see it!" Mandy demanded.




"You know everyone will see you at the party," Mandy tried to persuade.

"HELL no they won't. I'm not going in this. I'd rather go with the Power Ranger." Tory stated firmly.

"But…but do you know hot Colin'll think you are?" Mandy whined desperately.

There was a short silence on the other side of the door.

"…Get me a shirt that's not fishnet and we'll talk. Oh, and a new tail. DEFINITELY a new tail."

"Colin will like that tail," Mandy pouted.

"Yea, well, I wouldn't mind showing it to Colin. But no one else. NO ONE." Tory griped.

"Why not? We could make a hole in the pants," Mandy suggested innocently.

"Mandy it's a fucking vibrator go get me a new tail," Tory demanded. "Belt-style tail or Power Ranger suit, you pick." His tone suggested desperate finality.

"FINE." Mandy bitched, stomping off to get a tail that attached like a belt. She wasn't letting this drop. She'd get that vibrator into Tory for Colin if it was the last thing she did. Actually…Colin's birthday was in twenty-two days? She smirked as she threw a belt-attached tail over the door to the dressing room, along with another shirt, in exchange for the fishnet and vibrator. She put the fishnet shirt back on the rack, but while Tory was still changing into the new shirt she went quickly through the line, purchasing the vibrator along with several other standard "toys." She shoved the bag into her backpack as she made her way back to the changing stall in time to see Tory open the door. He still refused to come out into the store, but she approved of what she saw from the door.

"Kay let's buy it!" Mandy exclaimed, closing the door on him again so he could change out.

"…Mandy." Tory said as he looked at the price tags. "We're putting half of this back."

"No we're not, I'm paying for the half you'd put back," Mandy cackled. "Including the thong."

"…why??" Tory whined desperately.

"Because any other type of underwear would be outlined under those pants." She answered smugly.

Tory opened the door with a careless bang. The thong was left untouched on the hook on the wall. "I'll just go commando, even if you buy them," he threatened to her face. "I'll give them to my pervy upstairs college neighbor and told him you wore them. I'll never see them again."

"FINE." Mandy pouted heavily again.

"…and we couldn't get a pair of pants that don't look painted on?" Tory asked a little hopelessly, knowing the answer. "These are SO DAMN IMPOSSIBLE to squeeze into."

Mandy chuckled. "Rub baby powder on your legs before slipping them on, that helps."

"Oh, great, then I'm gonna smell fruity," Tory whined. Mandy pointed at a bottle of banana shaped fruit spray, clearly meant to serve more than one purpose. Tory reddened. "I'll stick to Axe Chocolate."

As they stood in line the two counted up the cost of the items they were purchasing and pulled out their shares of cash to split it.

Tory kept glancing nervously at her out of the corner of his eye, though, because all the way up until they parted ways she wouldn't stop grinning. He shuddered as he headed off for home. Mandy skipped a little as she stopped off at PetSmart on her way home in order to use the quick machine to make a custom tag to include in Colin's birthday present.


Over the weekend Tory and Colin did not see each other because Colin was out of town again, and during the next two days of school Colin fortunately did not crack Mandy's planning by telling Tory he knew what the redhead would be wearing, but he did smile on a more regular basis, looking really enthused. Tory couldn't help but smile too, starting to get a little excited about this Halloween.


Colin dragged his feet in through the door at six, knowing Tory wouldn't be there yet, and after all that was the only reason he cared to be here. (The doctor had dropped him off, while Tory would be walking, so it'd be at least twenty minutes before his boyfriend showed up.) He had neglected to tell his guardian that this was a costume party, otherwise he definitely wouldn't have been allowed to attend. Though there was no way the redhead would rush to get to this, he thought as he surveyed a bunch of gaudily-dressed high schoolers that he'd either never met or totally ignored grinding in the living room to the music blaring from a match of DDR Extreme. …though Tory was going to blast everyone's ass at that game whenever he got here.

"Colin!" Mandy squealed, dressed as the Glinda the Good Witch from the Wizard of Oz. Her friends, dressed as what apparently were supposed to be the T*witches in the background, rolled their eyes at his collared shirt, soft brown pants, and leather loafers.

"I've got your costume in my room, come on!" She cheered, pulling him along and then dropping him off at the bathroom on her way to her room. She came back with an armload of clothing.

"Try in on, try it on!" She thrust them at him.

"…Mandy was the punch spiked or something." Colin was adept at making questions sound like statements, here referring to Mandy's completely spazz-ditzed attitude.

"NOPE it's SUGAR!!!" She laughed back.

"O…kay…" Colin uncomfortably shut the bathroom door to slip into the outfit, then stared at himself in the mirror. "…" He reopened the door.


"Yup!" She looked him over happily.

"…what is this."

"It's Jenheir!"



"And Jenheir is a girl."

"No it's a weasel-boy (technically called a furry) in a popular girls' videogame called Terrabrand!" She stuck the headband weasel ears on him, then stood back to admire her handiwork. "CUTE!" She squealed.

"…These are very...short shorts." Colin muttered, trying to tug them down a little.

"Oh stop it, Tory'll love it," Mandy grinned, swatting his hands away. "I should have made Tory a Skieyl outfit to match, which is a fox I think, but…"

"NO!" Colin gritted his teeth. "KITTY!"

"Aww," Mandy patted his head. "Yes, Colin. Kitty. Kitty and how."


She perked up and pointed at the entrance to the hall, where Tory was currently coming down in an attempt to escape the crowd in the main part of the house. "Kitty. And HOW."

Colin stared.

"…and how…" He whispered with a blush.

Tory walked up to them, the tail swaying behind him as he did so. He held up his arms for display.

"…do you like it?" He asked Colin a little shyly.

"And how," Colin repeated.

"Uh, what?"

Colin just pulled him close for a hug, content. "You're a pretty kitty."

"Just pretty?" Tory teased, hugging him quickly back and then pulling away to study Colin's shorts a little longer than necessary. His eyes traveled up the sword, sash, and shirt to meet Colin's. "You're pretty." He whispered appreciatively.

"Okay, you're fucking sexy," Colin smiled at Tory's shocked expression. He only ever cursed lightly when he was pissed, and intensely when he was horny, reinforced by the fact that he tugged his sash over to cover his crotch a little. Tory's lips twitched up into a lewd grin, but dropped as he looked over Colin's shoulder to see Mandy looking triumphant.

"Quit fucking screwing with us," he chastised her, but without any real heat as he dropped his eyes to stare at Colin's legs again.

"But it's so fun," Mandy giggled. "And not in my house. My parents are home."

"You know what I meant!" He groaned after her in embarrassment as she walked down the hall to check on her other guests.


"What?" Tory asked, turning back to his lover.

"You're Tortoise-shell cat. A calico. I like calicos." Colin leaned into him again and went up on tiptoes to press their lips together quickly. "I wanna show you off," he whispered, licking his lips. "They're playing some dancing game out there, did you see?"

Tory's mood immediately lifted when Colin kissed him, then higher when he heard Colin's news. "Really?!" He tugged Colin back towards the living room to find a girl and a boy playing against each other. The girl was playing on light mode, keeping up fairly well with the steps, but the boy, trying to show off, was doing standard mode and failing rather miserably. "Pssh. They SUCK!" Tory laughed. "Lemme show you how it's done," he turned to Colin. "Unless you wanna do it too?"

Colin shook his head. "Not so soon after a relapse. I'm not gonna stress my system. Besides, it's more…rewarding…to watch you." He raked his eyes over Tory's outfit again, taking in the gold studded black boots, the skin-tight black leather pants with red-gold tinged claw marks slashing up the right thigh, the sleeveless, shiny, orange-and-black patched mesh metal shirt, the black leather gloves with thin gold claws, the tortoise-shell tail and ears, the cinnamon colored collar with gold studs, and especially the clear cats-eye contacts that enhanced Tory's brilliant green eyes with slitted cat pupils.

Tory frowned a little, so Colin quickly added, "I'm fine! It's just precautionary!" He rubbed his hand inconspicuously over Tory's chest. "I'll just sit over there and watch you, okay?" At Tory's nod, Colin made his way to the couch, keeping as near the left end as possible to stay out of the way of the couple making out on the other half of it. Tory headed over to the DDR mats to wait his turn. After the girl, who got a B, and the boy, who got a D, several other pairs went until Tory was able to interject himself. As he stepped onto the mat to pick his mode, Jeremy, the boy who kept pegging him in P.E., stepped up to the other one.

"Hey, sissy, you sure you wannoo exert yourself this much?" Jeremy sniggered. A few people from Tory's gym class laughed behind them. Staring challengingly at Jeremy instead of the screen, Tory just stepped the setting over to heavy mode. Jeremy glanced at the screen in mild interest. "You want to embarrass yourself that badly? Betcha you can't even get a combo of more than 5."

Tory glared at him mildly, shoved him off of the other mat, and changed the setting to double heavy mode. Jeremy's eyes widened.

"Hell no way."

"Hell yes way," Tory shot back. "I'm going for a full combo, so watch and learn, n00b." He moved the selection up to roulette and set it going. Then glancing back at Colin, who smiled at him, he flashed a quick grin and turned back in time to hit the first note, immediately flying into full action. As he moved back and forth across both mats, never missing a beat, people began to gather around, and Colin had to stand up and inch his way through the group to keep watching since he was a little shorter than most. He watched in wonder as Tory smiled happily, keeping his rhythm. Colin tapped his foot along with the beat and thought to himself that he'd have to get Tory to teach him; he made it look like so much fun…

By the time Tory was finished with the song most of the crowd was clapping along, and when his score flashed AAA cheering broke out. Stepping off the mat and gesturing to Jeremy with a smirk, who just looked away, he made his way back over to Colin, letting other people take turns enthusiastically trying (and failing) to play on doubles.

"Teach me," Colin demanded when Tory got them out of the crowd.

Tory smiled. "We'll go to the arcade again sometime soon," he promised, then glanced back at the mob around the game system. "Once is enough for here; I doubt I'll be able to play again with this crowd. If you're bored we could leave," he stated hopefully.

Colin grinned, glancing quickly around. "Let's not tell Mandy or she'll whine. And the doctor's picking me up at nine since it's a school night so I can't actually leave, but I bet if we go hide in the bushes on the side of the house next door we can make out," he whispered conspiratorially. Tory just nodded with a matching grin, and the two snuck out the front door.


Halfway through I thought I might change it to Tory being Skieyl too, but that would destroy the whole point of this porn, so…*shrugs*

And yes Graham. Yes. When you read this, I want you to know that yes. I was totally picturing you in that outfit doing your awesome dancing skills that put ALL to shame. ...we would probably also sneak out the door because the party is more boring than the next-door neighbor's bushes. There. I have now injected you into one of my fics. Much love.