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Welcome to, The Acclimation Diaries! This is a story told exclusively from Edward's POV.
Thank you for taking to time to read my little tale and I hope you enjoy reading as much as I have enjoyed writing! Reviews are always welcome and they feed the writing beast within me!
Beta'd by the always wonderful and beautiful vjgm! I have learned much from you master *kung-fu bow*
~North of the Border~
I sat in my room, watching the clock tick by at a snail's pace. In just a few hours I would marry the love of my existence. I was about to leap out of my own skin with the anticipation of Bella and I finally sealing our physical relationship. I thought back on the night I'd decided to take Carlisle's advise and start acclimating myself to Bella sexually.
That night was the farthest we'd ever taken our physical relationship and it was all I could do to jump out of her window when I did. I had no idea what possessed me to say the things I did to her, but her response was more than I could have ever hoped for. I should have never attempted anything without hunting first though. That was really stupid, but I hadn't intended to go as far as we did.
A smile crept across my face and I remembered all of the steps we'd taken over the last few weeks before our wedding night.
I heard her soft cries of ecstasy as I flung myself out of her window and raced through the forest, roaring out my own release like a wild animal. And a wild animal I was. I had grabbed the first creature that crossed my path and drained it of every last drop. I couldn't even tell what kind of animal it was afterward because by the time I was finished with it, it was a mangled mass of fur and pulverized bone.
I'd learned a lot after our first encounter, how to better prepare myself and the steps I would need to take to make our wedding night a possibility.
Hunt first for instance. Always hunt first.
Secondly, we were going to have to touch each other. I know that Bella didn't have a problem with that, hell if she'd had her way we would have sex months ago.
It was me that I was worried about. Not that I didn't want Bella to touch me, because I wanted that more than words could express and it was sheer torture every time I made her stop.
Okay, we are going to have to ease into this, I decided. But how in the hell did one go about that?
"Can I make a suggestion?" Alice said from my doorway.
Thank God! I didn't want to rely on Alice's visions of the future and I wasn't about to ask, but if she was offering information, I wasn't going to turn down her insight, on this matter in particular.
"Please," I begged, pulling my fingers nervously through my hair.
"Start with unlimited, above the waist, touching," she said very matter-of-factly.
"Why didn't I think of that?" I said to myself.
"Probably because you have a man's mind and all you're thinking about is the act itself, not what leads up to it. Just remember to take things slow. Give yourself a few days to build up a sort of resistance before you move things…south," she said with a little pixie grin. "Let yourself go a little bit and stop being so angsty all the time, I assure you everything will be fine."
"Thank you, Alice," I whispered as placed a peck on the top of her head as I headed out to hunt.
I drank until I couldn't possibly get another ounce of blood into my body. Even though I would always thirst for Bella's blood, at least this would take the edge off.
When I arrived at my house, it was oddly quiet. Normally, I could hear my family's minds milling about inside, but right now, nothing.
That had to mean one thing; Bella was inside, alone.
"You're welcome," Alice's voice sang inside my head.
I swallowed back the venom in my mouth as I reached the edge of the back yard. Bella's scent swirled in the open air between the house and the woods. I looked up and saw her leaning out of my open window, her eyes searching the trees for me. When she finally spotted me a wondrous smile broke out across her beautiful face.
I sprinted across the grass and swung into the window, landing silently beside her and making her catch her breath and her heart race. "I don't know if I'll ever get used to that."
"I hope you don't." I smiled, running the tip of my finger along her jaw, curling it under her chin and drawing her lips to mine.
Her arms curled around my neck and I circled mine about her waist, pulling her body closer. The scent of her desire flooded my system and I reacted, pressing my thick arousal against her.
I moved my lips down to her neck. "Bella," I growled as I worked my hands up her back, urging her to arch her body tighter against mine.
My control was snapping already and I remembered what Alice told me this morning. Take things slow. So I pulled back and she frowned up at me.
"Don't look at me like that," I said, stroking the spot between her eyebrows where they puckered together in disappointment. My finger moved along her brow, down along the side of her face to her neck.
My nostrils flared feeling her pulse pound under the delicate skin. I lingered in that spot for just a moment before continuing to the hollow of her elegant throat. I looked up to see her discontent starting to melt away.
"I was afraid that maybe you'd changed your mind," she smiled.
She'd talked to Alice. I was going to buy something very pretty and very shiny for my favorite sister.
I started to walk backwards and when the back of my legs hit the edge of the mattress I slowly laid back, taking Bella down with me.
I could feel her heat pressing against my groin as I pulled her leg around my hip, straddling my waist. My hands slid up her back, over the soft cotton of her shirt.
"This is new," I said with a smile, tracing the lines of the bra strap the wrapped around her shoulder.
She cocked her eyebrow at me. "How can you possibly know that?"
A smile twisted up the corners of my mouth, I couldn't help it, I loved throwing her for a loop like that. It was almost as much fun as teasing her. Almost. I started to tell her when she shook her head at me.
"Never mind, you can probably smell it or something because you can smell everything," she said, rolling her eyes.
"Mmm-hmm," I nodded, sliding my right hand down her back and over the swell of her tight little rump, giving it a light squeeze. "Everything," I whispered, pulling my bottom lip between my teeth as I grinned up at her and winked.
Her scent thickened as a small noise trickled out of her. God, I loved the sounds she made. My hips arched up into hers of their own accord, rubbing against her, a base need to connect with her body and elicit more of those amazing sounds out of her.
She leaned forward and started to lay soft kisses to my chest. Her lips burning right through the fabric of my tee shirt, making me hiss and moan and push her down harder against my aching erection.
Her warm little hands slid up under my shirt, searing my skin, as she started massage my upper body and her mouth continued its assault on my neck. I could feel the moist heat seeping though the two layers of denim that separated us.
She pressed her hips into mine, grinding against me, making those little sounds against my neck and I nearly lost my mind. I growled, deep inside my chest.
She stopped and slowly sat up, but kept her hands under my shirt.
"Too much, do you want me to stop?" she asked.
NO! GOD, PLEASE DON'T STOP!!
"Give me a second," I groaned through my clenched teeth. She started to pull her hands out from under my shirt. "No, leave them there," I said quietly. "Just don't move please."
I took slow deep breaths, letting my body get used to the feeling of her bare skin against mine. I concentrated on this one feeling, this one sensation and soaked it in.
Slowly, I started to trail my fingers up her back, ghosting over the back of her shirt. Her fingers pushed against my skin ever so slightly and her heartbeat picked up a notch. She pulled her full bottom lip between her teeth, biting off a sound that was building in the back of her throat.
Don't hold back that sweet sound, I thought.
I slid my hands around her stomach and stroked my thumb across her belly. She whimpered slightly.
Oh, there it is.
I stroked again, slower, more deliberate and she took an unsteady breath. I slid my thumb into the opening at the bottom of her shirt and touched her bare flesh. Air hissed through her teeth as my cold thumb connected with her warm skin.
Her hips rocked forward, just slightly, but enough to press her hot center against my erection straining beneath her. God that feeling is delicious. When she'd hit the spot she was searching for, she bit her lip and whimpered.
A quiet growl rattled out of my throat and she froze. "Sorry," she panted, clearly trying to get her hormones in check.
"Don't be," I grinned, unbuttoning the bottom button on of her shirt.
She sighed and her pretty pink tongue slid out to moisten her lips.
I had to taste her, now.
With vampire speed I sat up, startling her and she gasped into our kiss. My tongue played at the opening of her mouth, teasing her, fluttering in and out. Her fingers curled deep into my hair as our passion started to build again.
Her lips parted farther, silently begging for more.
My hand moved up her right side, over the fabric, and I softly cupped her breast for the first time.
Oh, it was exquisite. I could feel the tender little bud poking against the inside of her bra and I gave the soft globe a squeeze.
Her body arched forward, toward my touch and her fingers clenched tighter into my hair. "Mmmm," she whimpered into my open mouth when I stroked my thumb over her taut nipple.
Dear God, that little sound, right there, was nearly my undoing. How in the hell was I going to restrain myself? I wanted her now. Right now. To feel her warm naked body under mine. To make her whimper and moan in ecstasy as I brought her to release after release.
Damn it, focus!
I pulled my mouth from her and rested my forehead against hers as I panted, trying to gain some kind of control over myself. The side of my face twitched up. As much as I didn't want to admit it, I kind of liked the thought of loosing control and giving in to this wanton feeling that burned deep inside.
Bella wasn't helping matters either, so eager and hungry for my touch. She smelled so good; her natural scent mixed with the perfume of her arousal was so damned intoxicating and the way her body pressed against mine, so warm and so…so…human.
My face twisted in agony and she noticed.
"Edward, what's wrong?" she asked, taking my face in her delicate hands.
What was wrong with me?
I looked up and saw Bella's worried face. This isn't what out time together was supposed to be about, it was supposed to be about exploring each other as much as we could to get me 'desensitized'.
Alice's voice echoed in my head, "Let yourself go a little bit and stop being so angsty…everything will be fine."
I grabbed her face and kissed her, hard, plunging my tongue deep into her hungry mouth.
Slow down, Edward, I reminded myself.
As suddenly as I'd grabbed her, I pulled back from her, leaving us both panting.
She looked amazing. Her chest was heaving with desire, her hair was in disarray and her lips were red and slightly swollen from the force of my kiss.
I felt her tugging up the bottom of my shirt and I raised my arms, allowing her to pull my black tee over my head.
Her hands were on me before the garment hit the floor, exploring the hard planes of my chest as I laid back into the bed. I closed my eyes and just enjoyed the feeling, sucking my breath through my teeth as her fingers fluttered over my nipple.
"I'm sorry," she said quietly and started to pull her hands away.
"No do it again," I whispered.
Without warning, her mouth was pressed against my chest, her hot tongue licking at the little pebble of flesh.
"Oh dear God," I moaned, gritting my teeth and twisting the bedding in my fists.
I thrust up against her, creating that amazing friction. I released the comforter and gripping her hips, gently glided her up and down my entire length.
Even though we were fully clothed from the waist down, I could still feel her heat licking at my straining member and it was heavenly.
Bella groaned as she ground herself against my unforgiving body. I was going to have to slow things down again, she was getting too close.
Hell, I was getting too close.
Carefully, I stilled her movements and urged her to sit up. The shift in her weight against my groin sent a surge of desire coursing through my body.
I had to learn how to lasso this lust, grab a hold of it, control it and use it to dictate my next move.
What do I want right now, other than the obvious.
I looked up at Bella.
Touch her, I want to touch her.
I slid my hands up her thighs, letting my thumbs skim her apex as I continued over her soft warm belly. Slowly, I opened one button of her shirt, second from the bottom, exposing another inch of her creamy white skin.
Tightening the reigns of my control I continued, unfastening the next two buttons. Only one left holding her shirt closed.
Swallowing back the venom in my mouth, I fingered the light blue plastic disc. I held it between my fingers as I slid it through the hole and saw the lapels of her shirt start to spread. Pushing the thin cotton over her shoulders and down off of her arms, I tossed it to the floor.
I closed my eyes, checking my desire. I lifted my lids, taking in all of the gloriously soft skin before me, ensconced in a scrap of midnight blue satin.
I let my gaze wash over her, taking in every minute detail. The way her flesh rolled over her ribs, and spread down her flat stomach. I reached out and touched one cool finger to her body, circling around her navel and her breath caught in her throat.
My control teetered and I liked this slightly unhinged feeling far more than what would I considered safe. Granted I had seen her completely nude just last night, but that whole incident was unplanned and highly dangerous. I would not make that mistake again until I was ready.
Her salacious heat pressed against me as she moved her hips over mine. God, I didn't want to stop, but I knew I had to do it now, or I never would.
Bella was going to be furious. She hated it when I made her stop, she would never admit it to my face but she didn't have to, I could see it written all over hers.
"We need to stop," I panted quietly. I believe my subconscious mind was trying to trick me into thinking that if I spoke softly enough she wouldn't hear what I'd said and keep going, pushing me over the edge of being able to stop.
Her head snapped forward. "What?"
"I think we should stop, just for tonight."
I could see the blood rush into her face, yeah, she was upset.
"Why?" she asked, still sitting on top of me, her wet heat permeating through my jeans and making me wonder, why indeed. "We went a lot farther than this last night, Edward," she said, "I thought we were pushing ourselves here. Last night…"
"Last night we went too far too fast."
Her jaw clenched and her nostrils flared as she squeezed her eyes shut. She was beyond upset, she was royally pissed off.
"You're mad," I said quietly.
"Yes!" she spat at me but collected herself immediately after. "No, I'm not mad," she said softly. "I'm just…frustrated," she muttered as she slid off of me and curled up beside me, nuzzling her warm cheek into the crook of my arm.
"Sexually frustrated?" A smirk played on my face as I started swirling my fingers over her bare back, teasing her.
Her hand started crawling down my stomach. "I thought we were going to stop," she purred.
I stopped her hand just as her fingers slid past my navel and placed it over my silent heart. "We are."
She tilted her head and glared at me. "Then stop bring up sex," she practically growled.
My entire body stiffened at her little display of anger and obvious sexual frustration.
Sexual frustration that I'd put her in. That knowledge didn't help ease the tension that was tightening my muscles and threatening to crack my control all together.
Jesus, Cullen, get a grip!
"Do you want me to put my shirt back on, Edward?" she asked. It wasn't frustration and anger that tinged her voice, it was concern. She'd obviously felt the rigidity in my body and she was worried that this was too much for me.
God, how I loved this woman.
"No, you're fine," I said quietly, stroking my fingers up and down her spine as I kissed the top of her head.
Tonight was a success. I'd controlled myself and was getting a better handle on how to harness these new feelings Bella had created in me.
Next time, we would go farther. Next time, maybe one of us wouldn't have to wind up so damned frustrated.
Chapter End Notes:
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