Enter The Idiots!

"With this ridiculously long bread stick thingy-o that I have wielded upon thy hand, I shall smite you, evil demon!"

"And with…bread sticks' evil twin brother in my hand, I shall smite thee, thy…bitch!"

"Oi! Language!"

"Yeah, it's English, so what?"

"No swearing!"

"It was not swearing!"

"You called me a 'bitch'!"

"Ha! Look who's swearing now!"

"I didn't swear!"

"Yes, you did"

"Nah, you swore"

"No, not never!"

"Yes! You said 'something, something and smite thee' and then you called me a 'bitch'!"

"Naah! I said 'something, something' and then 'I have a bad itch'!"


"Yeah, exactly!"

"Sorry then"

"It's okay, I forgive you"

"Hey!" I yelled, "You liar, you stole that line from TV!"

"South Park, actually" my ears heard her mumble.

"Oi, meanie, you were lying!"

"Well, technically not, depending on which perspective you see fit. You are a 'bitch'. You are a female born on the year of the Dog. Be proud!"

"I am proud and I'll say it out loud. But you're not allowed to call me 'bitch' because only overly-awesome best friends can call me that, and you're only the awesome best friend, below overly"

I saw her fake a heart attack as she crossed her chest with her fingers, weeping 'heartbroken'.

Then, with every ounce of tease, I stuck my tongue out at her and sneaked away from the bakery store, taking the stale bread with me. Hey, it was an over-due piece of crap anyway with a bit of green, blue and black mould growing on its side. I'm sure Henry won't cry over a missing French roll.

"Hey, give that back!!"

'Spoke too soon'.

"BANANA!" I heard my evil friend yell, taking off at record speed with my self and Mr. Bread Brick hot in pursuit, my voice screaming in reply "SPLIT!"

We ran through the stores of the shopping centre, dodging everyone who got in our way, leaving behind a trail of pushed over people, squished fruit and evil glares, which just made me cackle diabolically.

Oh yeah. Ahem. My name's Gabrielle. Sixteen and still growing! But honestly, I'll murder anyone who calls me that. So everyone calls me Elle. Like the letter 'L', just with some additions. Yeah, my mum called me that after some angel or whatever. Ha, some 'blessing' I turned out to be. Crazy, insane and pushing people out my way with an over-due piece of cooked flour. But seriously, my name so doesn't suit me. And before I forget; running by my side is my best friend, sixteen as well and partner in crime, Quia. Yeah, I know. The name looks so retarded, just like her. But it's pronounced like the car brand 'Kia'. It just has a 'Q' and the 'U' instead of the 'K'.

Oh yeah, and did I tell you in the physical department we look nothing alike? Serious! She is the skinny, bony, snowy wonder dressed in black, while I'm the chocolate truffle with a fair amount of meat on my bones. And our life styles are complete opposites. Our only similarities are our insane attitudes! It's like I'm Ying, and she's my Yang, or is it the other way around? …Hang on. Those two are meant to be reverse. We're meant to be somewhat alike. I meant. Uhm…She's chips and I'm gravy. We love like Bobby loves Whitney. Ebony and Ivory. Oh yeah, that's it! Ebony and Ivory. Because she's like ivory and I'm like the colour ebony, but not as dark. Maybe like Mocha Latte. OKAY!! Putting the racial card away now. I'm sorry; I didn't mean to bring it up. Don't hurt me. I'm innocent…sometimes.

"Get back here!" a voice shouted.

"Dammit, Dave's gaining on us!"

"No shit, Sherlock! When'd ya figure that out!?"

"I'm not Sherlock!"

"Hey, you know what? For once you're right!"

"I am?"

"Yeah! Sherlock's cuter!"

I raised my fist and punched her arm, "Take that back!" still running at the same time.


"Take it back!"

Quia returned the hit, leaving a bruise, the evil woman abusing her Taek-Won-Do skills, "Make me!"

My knuckles met her arm again, "I don't make trash"

"It takes one to know one, bitch!"

Those words just totally back fired on her, resulting in me just releasing a hysterical laugh. Stupid Quia, she just totally forgot about her vocabulary!

"Stop laughing already"

"I can't! It's. Too. Funny!" I replied, taking dramatic inhales for every word. Really hard too, trying to laugh, breathe and trying not to get caught by security all at the same time.

"It wasn't that hilarious" she mumbled.

"Actually…it was!"

"…Ergh, karma's a bitch"

"Well, be happy she's not a slut, or we'd all be in trouble"

"Hey! Colourful language, young lady!"

"Oh why, thank you. After all, I learnt from the best" I smirked, reaching out my palm for a handshake which was taken.

It took us a while, but after a few minutes, we realised that we had stopped running, Dave still sprinting frantically after us.

"Eep!" Quia and I squeaked in unison, making a turn for the escalators. But when we were on floor two, heading for Level One, Mr. Idiotic Security Man had broken his brakes, completely crashing into both of us, our bodies falling over the ledge we were upon, with a not so very good-looking fountain waiting for our plummet.

'WAIT!! I'm too young to die!!!'