Talk About Drama
"Whoo! High five! Wow that was good!!" Quia grinned happily, holding her hand in the air.
And I completed the five, making a smack, both of us laughing madly at our previous predicament.
"Oh my God, did you see them? Ha-ha-ha that was so hilarious! 'I take a look at my enormous penis'. Oooohhh, it never gets old" Shit Two hooted madly, wiping a stray tear from her eye.
"Ha-ha, nah shit Sherlock, of course I saw them! That was soooo awesome!!"
"But it was weird, 'ey? Duck Butt was there, along with his posse."
"Posse?" I asked.
"Group" she clarified through sniffles.
"Then why not just say 'group'?"
"I wanted to sound smart"
"Smart doesn't look good on you" I teased with a wink.
"Well smart doesn't look good on you either" she said, sticking her tongue at me.
"Keep that thing in your mouth before I bite it off." I warned, watching as she quickly complied. And then I continued, "And plus. I look sexy in 'smart'. Don't hate me, coz you ain't me"
"Pfft, please. You're preaching to your damn self"
I stuck my hand at her face. And I said, "Talk to the hand, honey, coz you ain't worthy of the face"
"An ugly face" she said, a smug expression on her face as I shot her a glare.
"Nah, your face is ugly"
"Nah, you have an ugly face!"
"You have a face only a mother can love" I retaliated, suppressing the giggle at the back of my throat.
And when she shot to her feet, she threatened, "You wanna fight, Vegemite??"
Then I countered "Bring it on, Tampon" taking a stand as well.
And just when fists were about to fly – and obviously not in a violent way, I mean please, do we seem like that of people??
Hang on… don't answer that.
But anyway, at that moment, a worker dude had decided to waltz through the door.
And you know what?? What the hell was up with these people, didn't they know the concept of knocking?!
Shit, we had to think fast. We were still on a mission, damn it!
So us being the couple we were, jumped into an affectionate hug, just to convince the man that we were here to celebrate our McLovin'.
I wrapped an arm around the back of her waist and like those awesome tango moves in dance films, I dipped her like a cookie in milk all the while as she placed a hand at the back of my neck. You know, like in a dance when you dip the girl and you're supposed to hold her there.
"Oof! Damn Quia, I'm gonna drop you" huffing the words silently under my breath.
"Drop me, and I'ma drop you" she whispered back in a venomous tone.
I took her word for it.
But either fat or muscle mass, she was heavy! Oops, sorry Quia. But you already know that I can be a bit too blunt with my words.
…But would you still love me if I wasn't like that??
Anyway, thank the Holy Mother of Lentil Soup. Itachi walked through only a few seconds after the guy had and shooed the fella out before something could happen.
So unlatching ourselves, we were about to thank the guy. But then we saw his face.
In his girly glory of pink and preposterous make up.
So please, if you may, allow us this fickle moment to laugh at how ridiculous his get up was. And pick up from where we left off at the Lair.
Okay, I'm good.
"Heeeeeheheahahaha!!! Itachi you look so stupid" I teased, going over board with my laughter.
"Ha-ha-ha-ha, oh my God, look at your clothes! Look at your hair" Shit Two sputtered.
"His hair looks even better than yours!" I beamed.
And Quia interrupted through giggles, "Dude, it looks like High School Musical took a shit up on your face!"
We continued to take a piss out of him. Then he glared hate at us, and all I could say was, "Sorry Bubs, but she's got a point."
He huffed like he was gonna crack and moving away to leave, he growled over a shoulder "Meet Kisame and I at the Fireworks Festival at eight. Sharp!"
And then. Slam!
Damn. He could've broken the door if he'd wanted to.
"Is your man on PMS or something?" Quia asked.
"Iunno. Beats me. I'm not even sure men can even do that though".
We paused, letting our imaginations soar.
And after a fair few seconds we made sickened expressions while our skins paled at the scary thought…
That was just down right nasty.
Lets change the subject before someone loses their lunch.
"What took you so long?" Blue Boy said in an annoyed tone.
"Oh shut up" I mumbled.
"Yeah. You can't rush perfection" Shit Two said, doing a tired, lazy pose, acting like she was 'all that'.
"Honey, stop acting stuck up before I deport your ass"
"Anyway, what's up? I wanted to sleep in tody." I whined, my eyes already about to close.
Oh yeah, that's another thing about me and Quia. We can be hyper and funny and hilarious and absolutely awesome in the anytime in the day and/or night… but we need our sleep or else we'll just die from utter exhaustion.
We need about… a minimum of ten hours. Give or take.
Yeah. Stuff you guys and your judgement – if you have any. We ladies need our beauty rest. So bleh! Suck on them apples.
"There were two scrolls. We've collected one" Itachi stated in his usual, cold, I-could-kill-you-with-my-voice like tone. Jeez, remind me why I like him…
"You like him because he's 'hot' – as you say, smart, intelligent, strong, good kisser and everything about him you love" Ryu answered, "And this is all in your mind. I should be asking you why you even have feelings for the cold bastard anyway…"
"Hm… you know what sweetie? Why don't you go into the dark empty corners of my mind and help yourself to a nice big bowl of shut up!"
Ha-ha, I'm sorry, I'm so mean. But you know I love you.
"Yeah, and the other scroll hidden somewhere. So we need to find it while everyone is distracted by the festival".
"Well good luck. C'mon Elle, let's go back and sleep" Papa said, taking my hand and I simply complied, walking alongside my friend. And she continued to ramble mindlessly, but at the word sleep I was all for her view of things.
I was tired and controlling people really took a lot out of me.
"I'm not surprised. After all. You had managed to maintain and manage five bodies without the proper training, how could you not be exhausted?" Ryu uttered in his usual… strangely sensual, dragon voice.
"Mmm" I groaned, not really into the 'digging-for-more-info-on-what-he-meant' till I got my rest.
"Yeah… I'll be asking you more about this stuff later. We'll have my people talk to your people, after I sleep" I mumbled to him, feeling and sounding professional.
"But we don't have people who do the talking…"
"Meh. We do now"
"Iunno. It's fun, free and because I say so. And shouldn't you be in a corner right now?"
And we left it at that.
Hm. I'm hungry.
But anyway. Ignoring my craving for something deep fried and smothered in milk chocolate…
It took me a while to realise that I had just been hoisted upon a shoulder.
A friggin rock solid shoulder that seemed as if I was balanced on the edge of a cliff!
So don't blame me as I find my self too weak to scream bloody murder.
But hey, that's just me speaking.
Quia on the other hand…
"Oi you stupid, lizard skinned, blending, skin changing, lunatic bastard! Put me down before I rip out your mouth and shove it up yo ass!"
Hm. Apparently Shit Two was occupying the other shoulder.
"Hn. Go ahead, see if I care" Kisame taunted, jolting the irritated female.
"Ohh don't test her, she will do it if she has to. You should've seen what she said to Derek the last time he tried to pull the moves on me" I commented, letting out a yawn.
"Mm-hmm, damn fuckin' right. Said I was gonna tear out his eyelids with my toes if he ever put a hand on you" she smugly stated, whacking our seven foot tall… friend. At the back of his head.
"Well when we go back you can do just that. I encountered him when I was…"
I finally noticed that Quia, Itachi and even Kisame were silent.
"Ooohh, I still haven't told you where I disappeared off to, didn't I?"
"Yeah you failed to mention that, buttmunch"
"Who is this Derek?" Weasel asked with a tinge of malice in his tone.
"Her ex" Quia answered. Itachi growled. I just didn't notice the sound.
"Yeah. Complete asshole, if I do say so myself. But I admit, he is one fine piece of ass. He's handsome, easy on the eyes and good at sports. But that's all just a freaky façade. Underneath that bullshit… oh, I don't even wanna think about the jerk"
"You know the way you say it, you make it sound like all men are evil like Derek" I said to her, searching for the strength to remain awake. Just for a while longer. I was enjoying this talk for some reason.
"Coz you know, not all guys are like him" I uttered, aiming the comment at the 'pretty lady in pink' walking beside Mr Muscles as he held us two on his shoulders.
"I'm not saying all men are, but you have to admit that there are lots of man whores out there in this universe"
"Yeah, but you have to admit that there are lots of just plain whores out there as well. But there are also lots of nice people too"
"Hm true. But still, nonetheless, Derek is a jackass. I mean, I even feel sorry for those idiots he calls friends. And oh my God, do you remember his other girlfriend??"
"Yeah. She's really stupid and is super annoying."
"Oh Lord, do you remember that one time at school??"
"Hell yeah" I said, recalling the events in complete detail.
"What happened?" Kisame said after a long period of silence.
"Can I tell this one?" Quia asked me.
"The floor is yours" I said graciously.
"Coolies. Well, to answer you B.B, what happened was one of our cool friends had a crush on the dumb chick. And she had a crush on him. Too bad she was with Derek. Anyway, Derek figures it out and places the pieces together and bam. There's a fight at school. Yeah, the fight was alright since it was probably the only entertainment we'd get out of class, but the shitty thing was that Princess Dumbshit didn't do jack to help out either her so called boyfriend or the man she potentially liked."
"Hm" Itachi hummed, letting us know that we also had his attention.
"Yeah, 'hm' is right. But noooo, while Derek the cunt-face dishonourably beat up my best friend – no offence Elle, you know you're my number one."
"Naaww, thanks Quia" I smiled as she scratched my chin like I was her pet. And I played along.
Then she continued seriously, "But however, while it was my bud against six penis-less fuckers, all the girl did was say" and in a higher, more taunting girly tone, Papa squealed, "'oh stop it Derek, don't hurt him, please stop, no don't punch him, don't this, don't that'."
Ugh, I inwardly groaned. Because all that Quia was saying was actually the hard, cold truth.
We didn't respond, waiting for her to continue.
"I mean seriously! Here she was, squealing like a bitch and telling her boyfriend – who she DIDN'T like – to stop beating up the man – who she DID like – and knowing fully well that Derek didn't stop, she continued spouting the same damsel in distress bullshit!"
"Well y'know… she is a girl…" Kisame said, looking around and still acting like he was searching for the scroll.
"So?! That girl was a pussy and that bitch didn't deserve my best friend! All she did was scream and whine while watching Derek send punch after punch"
"But she's a chick. Chicks don't usually jump into fights" Kisame defended, but we could tell he was a bit pissed off at the girl.
"Fuck you and your sexism shit!" Quia swore, "I know I told you about our 'Village Earth' but I know, and I'm sure Elle will back me up when I say that if the guy I loved was in a dangerous situation, I would've stood by his side within a heartbeat because I know he'd do the same for me."
"She has a point." I interrupted, "And she would do that. Even if we're girls, and even though there are differences between Earth girls and ninja girls, some of us ladies are protective of the ones we love, whether family, friends or… people who are something more. But remember… I said 'some'."
"B-but still…" Kisame stumbled.
"Ugh!!" Quia roared in irritation. "God damn it! Okay, Sir Shit for Brains! Lemme give you an example. Itachi, Elle. You're my example. Itachi, if you saw Elle getting beaten up and out numbered by a bunch of shameful ruffians, would you go in there and rescue her and beat the shit out of them fuckers?"
There was a pause. And I stared at him.
Would he? For someone… like me?
"Now be honest" Shit Two forced.
And with a gulp, he said "Yes". But refrained from saying that he wouldn't beat them up. He'd fucking kill the bastards.
"And Elle? How bout you?"
I stared at Itachi, and we shared our eye contact for a long time before I answered "Yes".
I mean, fuck yeah! I lo… lo… lov…
I really loved Itachi.
And I know he probably wouldn't need me for rescuing, but I'd still be with him. Till the stupid end.
"See, shithead?!" Quia directed at the dawning shark on legs, "We girls-"
"Found the scroll" Kisame interrupted.
"Ey! Don't change the subject!"
"Ooh, where??" I asked, ignoring Quia's protests. Ha-ha, it's amusing as to how easily we can disregard the girl.
And where he pointed, we stared with amusement at the fact that these stupid people were willing to put an obviously awesome scroll, out in the friggin open! Which was on top of a big building.
A really… big building.
Dude… Eiffel Tower, eat your heart out. Seriously, it looked just like it. Just with a more… ninja taste added to the equation.
"Who's gonna get it?" Papa wondered, staring up at the tower.
"Ooh! I will!" I smiled, waving my hand in the air like I was asking my teachers for permission to go first in Show and Tell.
"Elle. You don't even know what or how to get there"
"Sure I do, I've got it all figured out."
"Oh? Well then fearless leader, please do share with us your philosophy"
"Can you see?? The scroll is way up there! Right on top of the tower"
"Yeah…? How you gonna get it?"
"Kisame can throw me" I said like I was discussing about the weather.
"WHAT?!" Itachi roared.
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Mwahahaha! How do you like them apples??
Thanks guys for the reviews. It keeps me happy and takes my mind off my missing Quia.
Oh well, we've been meeting up though so that's awesome! And what sucks is that where she lives everyone's stuck up and snobby. Poor Quia, she's trying to make friends but those bitches won't give her a chance.
Oh and to riia luvs anime – yeah I was just plain lazy. So gimme yo best mental slap! I promise you I will return the favour tenfold! Mwahahaa!! Lol, only joking.
Sorry for any mistakes. I was in a hurry. And I'm sorry if it's not funny.
Also check out the poll on my profile.