Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. All registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.
I started this last summer. Didn't post it because I didn't have a good ending. Still don't, but I'll post the last chapter next week.
NoDrogs created the twins in A Small Possibility.
"Shego, thank you for coming to see me so promptly," Alice Armstrong smiled broadly at the pale green attorney. Fear stabbed the younger woman's heart as the judge invited her to, "Please, sit down. Tell me how things are going at home."
Shego had not worked at the firm long, but it didn't take long to figure Alice out. She dumped a normal assignment on you without a word. The difficulty of the case represented her assessment of your ability. There was no necessary sin in asking for help. If you asked for help on a subtle point of law she felt flattered and her opinion of you went up for your ability to see what was important. Questions you should have learned in law school, but didn't, cost you points. And if the judge was nice to you the unofficial position in the office was feign mental illness – she wanted something from you above and beyond your normal job description. The more polite the judge appeared, the greater the imposition. With the judge using her home for solstice parties Shego felt relatively safe, until today.
Shego shook her head no.
Shego almost shook her head no, then decided she might need one. "Thanks."
Alice poured her a generous shot, "Single malt Scotch. The good stuff." Shego took a sip and waited for Alice's opening move. "So, you and Kim have any hobbies you do together?"
"You mean besides raising the twins?"
"I mean exercise. Important for a healthy life."
"We do a lot of martial arts."
"No wonder you're in such good shape. I'll bet those skills would help you in other sports too."
"Maybe," Shego agreed reluctantly. "Am I being asked to coach an office softball team?"
Alice shifted gears abruptly, "Have you heard Sid Bennett is retiring in a year?"
Shego had seen him three times since she started working. The common perception was that he had provided the 'white male face' for the firm when two women lawyers wouldn't have been taken seriously. "He's not already retired?"
"Sid does a lot for this firm."
"Has he been in court since I got here?"
"When you're as good as Sid you don't need to go to court. You don't even need to come into the office. He's negotiated more cases into out-of-court settlements in the last six months than you'll see in two years. And he keeps some of our biggest corporate clients happy."
"How does he do that?"
"He takes them golfing."
Shego breathed a little sigh of relief. "So, you're looking for someone new to play golf with clients?"
"Well, I'm afraid I can't help. I've never been out on a golf course in my life."
"You're the best candidate."
"No golfers work here?"
"Two good golfers on the payroll."
"Then why not them?"
"One's in accounting, one's a paralegal. Clients want to play with a lawyer, not an accountant or paralegal."
"How about Roger Hitchcock in corporate? He does most of the work for them."
"He's got the athletic grace of a beached whale."
"Golf is expensive."
"Firm will buy country club membership for the family of our designated golfer. Two sets of clubs. One for our golfer, one for the spouse."
"Read my lips, I don't know how to golf."
"With membership at the country club you get three months of lessons with the club pro, Kim too."
"Somebody called golf 'a good walk, wasted'. I don't want to do it."
Alice's voice dropped to a conspiratorial tone. "You weren't the only name the partners discussed. Other two - both men. I fought damn hard to get you into consideration. Understand this, the position is probably fast track to a junior partnership. Clients won't play with someone below a lawyer, and prefer a junior or senior partner in the firm. Of course, if you aren't interested in partner track… Most of the lawyers here will never see partner."
"Sign me up," Shego sighed.
"I don't remember Drakken asking you to sign over your soul when you worked for him," Kim complained as the two women drove out to the country club for the first time.
"I think I remember why I went into crime. It was more honest."
"Okay, so that explains why you're doing this. Why are you dragging me along?"
"Misery loves company, Princess."
"Thank you ever so much."
"Seriously, Kim, it gives us something to do together out of the house. It might be fun."
"Emphasis on might."
The club pro helped the two women pick out sets of clubs of the appropriate lengths and gave them a lesson on grip, stance and swing. He gave them two bits of advice the first night. "Accuracy counts more than distance in hitting the ball. A hundred and twenty-five yards straight toward the pin is better than two hundred yards in the rough." The second was, "Just play against yourself at first. Don't worry about playing better, or worse, than the person you're on the course with. Try and do better than you did the last time you were out." He advised them to stop at a driving range on the way home and each hit a bucket of balls.
They each got a big bucket and hit about half of them. "Golf gloves," Shego suggested as they drove back to pick up the twins.
"How can you get blisters on your left hand if you're right-handed?"
"I don't know, Kim. I've been golfing just as long as you have, remember?"
They stopped twice at the driving range during the week. Since the attached miniature golf course didn't allow children as small as the twins to play unaccompanied Shego hit a half bucket of balls while Kim putted the first nine holes with the twins, then Shego putted with the twins for the back nine while Kim drove a half bucket. The twins were upset that they didn't get to keep any golf balls, but pacified by ice cream afterwards.
After a second lesson the two women played their first round of golf. Kim set a course record on her first time out. Unwilling to accept a two-stroke penalty for avoiding the water hazard she drove eighteen brand new golf balls into the lake. She would have driven more, but those were all she had and Shego refused to lend her any more for further efforts to cross the water.
Shego gave Kim a new ball when they dropped on the other side of the water. Shego lost three balls in the rough on various holes and sliced two balls into the lake herself on the eleventh hole. (The eleventh hole was not considered a water hazard. If you stayed on the fairway you were perfectly safe. The water only posed a danger for those who sliced badly.)
"I wonder if Alice can get the firm to pay for golf balls too," Shego commented on the way home. "Buying those could get as expensive as membership in the country club. Still, bad as I did I take comfort in knowing I didn't turn in the worst score on the course today."
Kim simply glared at her. "Pride goeth before destruction," Kim reminded her. "Besides, remember what the pro said. Start off just trying to improve yourself rather than comparing scores with anyone else. The way I see it you'll never drop as many strokes from one round to the next as I will the next time I play."
In the next couple weeks the pair made it to the driving range several more times and played three more rounds of golf - once with the presence of the insistent twins. Besides helping Kim and Shego find their errant drives into the rough Kasy found two lost golf balls and Sheki one. The twins declared the round a huge success. The man at the driving range now recognized their car and had golf balls in the twins' favorite colors ready for them when Kim and Shego arrived for driving practice.
"So tell me, Pumpkin, why is Global Justice being asked to provide additional protection for a medical conference in Edinburgh?"
"I don't know," Kim sighed. "You'd think health is something everyone could agree was good. But rumor is that some terrorist group thinks it can make headlines by an attack. Should Global Justice react to every rumor and waste resources or ignore a rumor and risk criticism if there is an attack?"
"Can I get another option?"
"The girls and I will miss you."
"And I'll miss you. But this is going to be the biggest mission I've led by myself. Betty thinks nothing is going to happen and tells me not to be too Will Du. I've got some meetings with the local security forces to attend and need to check agents' reports - but she tells me to relax and take in the sights while I'm there. She's as bad as you at wanting me to take a vacation."
"Maybe you can get in some golf?"
Kim laughed, "Maybe, I hadn't thought about that."
"Will you be home for the Legal Lesbian's picnic?"
"Should be, the conference ends three days earlier."
"Good, Alice wants to play a round with us."
"No, but she wants to see that the firm's money hasn't been wasted."-
The second evening after Kim left Shego took the twins to the driving range. Max Gniotczynski frowned as the trio approached his window, "Where's the redhead?"
"She's out of town."
"So, the three of you for mini golf?"
"Is there any way you can let these two play by themselves and let me hit a bucket of balls? The grandparents were too busy to watch them."
"We'll be good," Sheki promised.
He still seemed suspicious, "Any problems," he told Shego, "and I'm on the loudspeaker telling you to come get them."
The next night Kasy asked, "Can you take us for mini-golf again?"
"I wouldn't mind some more practice, but I think I should leave you with Grandma Anne."
"We played nice yesterday," Sheki reminded her.
"You did, but that doesn't mean he'll let you play every time," their Eemah reminded them.
"You can ask."
"And if he says no?"
"We'll just watch you hit balls."
When Shego got to the window to pay for a bucket of balls she noticed he had two putters and the golf balls in the girls' favorite colors waiting for them.
"They behaved?" she asked as he slid her credit card through the slot.
"Better than most adults," he assured her. "They can play any time you want."
"Can we go back again tomorrow?" Kasy begged on the ride home.
Shego hesitated. She wanted her game to improve - the idea of fast track to partnership sounded good. And there wasn't much to do with Kim gone. Thinking of Kim gave her an idea, practice hard and when Kim got back Shego would be able to beat her badly. "Sure," she told the little redhead. "How about you two caddy for me, or we go to the driving range every night until Mommy gets home? There'll be ice cream afterwards."
Wild cheers answered her question.
A week and a half into Kim's mission to Scotland Shego finished practicing her drives and panicked slightly as she turned and didn't see Kasy and Sheki on the miniature course. She kicked herself for not looking over more often - they were supposed to stay outside where she could see them from the driving range. She assumed they were in the 'club house' - a combination of snack shack and office for the driving range and miniature golf - getting a soda, but she ran down to make certain. When she reached the club house, however, she was greeted by the sight of Sheki sitting at the office window.
"What are you doing there, Squirt?"
"Mr. Max got a call and had to leave. He has somebody coming in to take over, but he asked me and Kasy to watch the club house. And I get to make change!"
"She's washing his balls."
Shego bit her tongue to keep from laughing - which would have caused Sheki to demand to know what was funny. "She's washing the golf balls?"
"Yeah. It's a big machine. No fair that Kasy gets to do it and I don't."
"But you get to make change?"
"Hey, getting to handle money is much better manual labor."
When Shego set up a couple sessions with the club pro to work on her slice the girls talked Grandpa James and Grandma Anne into taking them to the miniature golf course.
The Global Justice squad arrived in Scotland a full week before the conference to prepare. Kim spent her first day in Scotland coordinating security plans with local law enforcement. She endeared herself to them by deferring to their local knowledge and taking an attitude of only being there to help them and trusting their judgment. At the end of the day she asked about being able to play golf while in the country and the head of the local constabulary, a huge grizzled man, immediately adopted her as his daughter and promised to take her out on the nearest links and suggested she use the GJ helicopter to try the St. Andrew's course.
Kim spent her second morning with other national law enforcement agencies, and suspected that Betty saw this more as a PR event for Global Justice more than a mission.
Betty confirmed the suspicion when Kim called and asked to be reassigned to a mission with some action. Things looked quiet at the moment and building bridges of trust between GJ and other law enforcement groups was always desirable. "Kim, just provide a smiling face and give the locals credit for anything good. That way we'll get cooperation from them if we ever need it."
"So this is three weeks of me grinning like an idiot and doing nothing?"
"No, you are doing important work. We all work better together than fighting little turf wars among ourselves. We're seen as one of the 'big guys' and the 'little guys' think we look down on them. Show them respect. Treat them well and they'll treat us well - and the news spreads. And you sure as hell better not have told anyone you were requesting reassignment to a more important job."
"Good. And I don't want another call like this. If anything comes up… Don't think you are the only agent who can handle a mission. Will usually does fine. But he can't promote cooperation and teamwork as well as you can. Understood?"
Kim sighed, "Yes, sir."
After getting off the phone to the US, Kim called her volunteer 'dad' and asked about playing golf.
Kim got in a round the day, and another the one after that She didn't play especially well either day, but she could see herself improving slightly. As she went to bed that night a thought struck her, practice hard while she was here and when she got back to Middleton she could beat Shego so thoroughly that her partner could never make fun of her again for that bad first round.
The next day the prison warden's curiosity was obvious as the Global Justice agent was shown to his office. After the customary pleasantries she asked, "I believe you have a Duff Killigan as a prisoner here?"
Kim sighed, "I don't know what his problem is."
The warden grinned, "Ye've na' met his Missus?"
"Took up golf and crime to spend as little time home as possible."
"This is going to sound weird, and maybe it can't be done… I was wondering if there was any way to let him out for a round of golf? I'd like some lessons and he's the best golfer I know."
The warden shook his head. "I din'na believe you've met Duff. He's a gorilla of a man. Let him out with a wee slip of a girl like you? We'd like to keep him locked up."
"How did you capture him?" Kim asked innocently.
"We din'na catch him. Believe it or not an American girl captured him…" the warden looked down at the letter of introduction again. "A girl named… Ye wouldn't be pulling my leg now, would ye?"
Kim smiled and shook her head, "That was me."
The warden laughed, and she joined with him.
"Are you sure it's safe?" he asked. "Getting out in the open air might be good for Duff, and if ye could humble him a little it might be good for all of us here."
"I'm sure not going to humble him at playing golf, but I want some lessons. I thought it might make him a little easier for you to work with - give him a reason to behave better."
"Aye, it might…" He used the intercom and asked four guards to bring Duff Killigan into his office