A/N – Yeah I know I am currently in the middle of writing two other fanfictions, but this is just a little oneshot. So don't worry – updates for Summer Romance and Music Academy: Gotta Be Somebody will be coming soon!
It was a normal day; I woke up next to my perfect, talented, beautiful husband, and had a shower. We both shared breakfast together, a blissful moment we spent together everyday. Edward reached across the table and held my hand in his, rubbing the top of my hand with his thumb in small circular movements.
"I love you Isabella Marie Cullen," he smiled crookedly, his green emerald eyes lighting up with love and emotion. Even after being with this perfect being for over 10 years – we'd been childhood sweethearts – I'd never gotten used to his absolute perfection. His eyes, so piercing and meaningful, his bronze, tousled, sexy hair which begged for me to constantly run my hands through it, his crooked smile which made me smile back reflexively, and feel a rush of pride and happiness that he was mine.
"I love you Edward Anthony Cullen," I whispered back, my heart thumping at a tremendous speed at this beautiful creature in front of me. He pushed back his chair and walked around to me, cradling my face in his hands. He bent down and pressed his lips to mine, my hands stretched up and tangled into his bronze mess, pulling him down close to me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me intensely. I saw stars through my eyes, I'd never gotten used to his kisses, they made me weak at my knees and begging for more.
When he finally broke away we were panting for breath, his hair more ruffled then usual due to my hands in it. His lips were slightly swollen, just the same as mine were I assumed. He chuckled, his sweet breath flooding over my face, making me crave even more of him. He pecked my lips gently and then leant back up, collecting up our plates and glasses, wandering into the kitchen.
My eyes followed him, and he turned around and shot me a wink. I giggled like a high school girl, probably odd coming from a twenty-four year old woman. I heard the dishwasher open and plates clattering, I smiled at the thought wondering how I ever managed to get this perfect man for a husband. Not only was he the most gorgeous man to have ever walked the earth, he was kind, considerate, caring, sweet… Need I go on?
We headed up to our bedroom to get ready, and he slipped on his work suit. He was going to London today to show off his compositions to some record company, if they liked it he may even get a record deal. I smiled proudly at the thought of my husband, reaching his dreams and ambitions. I changed into jeans and a t-shirt, ready for a day at home full of house-cleaning and working on my novel I was writing.
A pair of hands slid around my waist, and I felt Edward kiss my neck softly. "You look beautiful." He murmured, as he hugged me softly, rocking me gently. I smiled blissfully, and turned around to wrap my arms around his neck, taking in his appearance. He'd tried to calm down his mess of a hair, and it had worked slightly, but still gave off his signature tousled look. He had a black work suit on, and his eyes sparkled.
"I can't compare to you handsome." I chuckled, and kissed his lips softly, as he tightened his grip around my waist, crashing his own lips to mine. We stayed like that for a few moments before he broke off, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear. He looked into my eyes for a minute or two, stroking my face lovingly before he sighed, glancing at his watch.
"I have to go now beautiful; I'll be back after lunch okay?" He smiled and picked up his briefcase, and we walked to the front door together, slowly. I was relishing the last few moments we had together, he knew how much I hated it when we parted, I couldn't even go for a few minutes without missing him like crazy. I hated it when he had long day conferences, my heart ached and I felt like I'd been torn in two and that he'd taken me with him. Edward had confided in me once before that he'd felt exactly the same when we were apart. He looked at me as he reached the front door. "I'll be back as soon as possible. He promised, as he caught sight of my face crumpling at him leaving.
I nodded and leant up to kiss him goodbye. "I love you Edward, so so much. You are my world. Goodbye," I whispered and hugged him tightly. He nestled his head into the crook of my neck, breathing in deeply.
"I love you Bella, you are my life. I'll be back so soon you won't have time to miss me." He replied softly, kissing the top of my head. He stroked my cheek before he walked out of the door, waving me goodbye as he headed to his silver Volvo to drive to the train station. I waved softly until he drove out of my sight. As soon as I couldn't see him, my heart ached. I turned around and slowly shut the door and headed towards my laptop. There was a note from Edward on top and I chuckled gently, he was always doing sweet little things which made my day.
Work hard on that novel of yours, someday it'll be a bestseller and I'll be your number one fan. I'll be thinking of you when I catch my 8:48am train to London and my thoughts will be with you all day darling.
I love you Bella,
Love your husband Edward xxx'
I smiled at the note, and slipped it on the side next to me in my sight, so I had my constant reminder of Edward on my mind all day – not like I needed one, he was in every thought of mine anyway. I opened my laptop lid and began to tap away at the keyboard, zoning into the novel I was writing. The characters became real life and I became absorbed that it took me several moments before I heard the doorbell ringing. I pushed back my chair and walked towards the door to see my best friends Alice and Rosalie there.
"Hey Bells!" Alice grinned and skipped in, kissing my cheek on the way through. Her short spiky pixie hair tickling my cheek, I chuckled, at her as she made her way through my house and settled herself at home. Rosalie stepped up next, her beautiful golden blonde hair blowing in the slight breeze outside. She walked in and bent down and kissed my cheek softly.
"Hello Bella honey," she smiled like a model, and walked through to hang her jacket up on the banister. I heard clattering of glasses from the kitchen and walked through to see what Alice was doing. She was rummaging through the freezer and bought out some ice-cubes. She dropped a couple each into the three glasses, and took out a large bottle of soda, pouring them into each of the glasses. She glanced up and smiled at me.
"Thought we'd have some drinks out in your garden," Alice grinned in her pixie way and I nodded, as Rosalie walked through, and we all wandered out into the garden with our glasses in hand. I seated myself on mine and Edward's swinging garden seat. Rosalie sat on my right, as Alice sat on my left. A light calming breeze rustled around, yet didn't stop the beating sun from keeping us warm and light.
Rosalie lifted her legs underneath her, and sipped her soda delicately, "So sweetie, how are you?" She asked me, as she inspected one of her perfectly manicured nails carefully for any sign of a chip in her painted nails or a hang nail.
"I'm… alright I guess," I answered truthfully, "I miss Edward so much," I added, a bit quieter, almost hoping they wouldn't here. Immediately I was met with various 'Aw's' and 'Bella sweetie's' and I cringed at the attention, but also revelled in it, glad that my two best friends cared so much about me, even if it was details about how much I missed my husband while he was out or away.
I allowed them to comfort and console me for a little while, and then I glanced at my watch… 10am. Only a few more hours until I saw Edward. I smiled at the thought of him coming through the front door, holding his arms open wide as I ran in nuzzling into his chest, and kissing him hello… The daydream seemed so realistic in my mind as Edward walked into the kitchen and sat at the table, as we ate the lunch I prepared for us, Edward and my favourite – mushroom ravioli. We'd talk about what the meeting was like, and how amazing it was that he'd got a record deal he'd wished for, and we'd…
"Bella! Hello!?" Alice called out to me, disrupting my happy daydream, "Bella? Earth to Bella!" Alice waved her hand in front of my face, and I turned to look up at her, frowning slightly, at the fact she'd ruined my lovely daydream, but also in curiosity of what she wanted. I nodded.
"What is it Alice?" I asked, tucking my hair behind my ear, which instantly reminded me of this morning when Edward had done the exact same thing, I smiled blissfully at the thought. This time making sure I didn't get wrapped up and kept my focus on Alice.
"We're going inside now, and we'll watch a chick flick 'kay?" She smiled brightly, and I'd noticed Rosalie had already gone – probably to put on the DVD, she was much more technical then me and Alice, well maybe Alice was equal but she was much better at that stuff then me. I wandered into the kitchen and heated up a bowl of microwave popcorn, I chucked the bag into the microwave, and waited for it to heat up, staring at the packet as it moved around in the device. When it beeped, I yanked out the packet and poured it into a bowl.
The chick flick was all set up ready for us, and I seated myself on the sofa with the popcorn on the coffee table. It was one I'd heard of but hadn't got round to seeing yet, called In Her Shoes. It started up and we watched it silently whilst scoffing popcorn, and hovering it into our mouths. At moments we'd laugh, cry or sympathy like most girls do whilst watching a film. It ended around 12-ish and we spent around half an hour quoting our favourite parts.
Rosalie and I were currently acting out Rose Feller and Maggie Feller. "I don't know what's wrong with your girls. My Marcia never uses the word vagina!" Rosalie quoted pretending to be Rose.
"My Marcia doesn't even have a vagina!" I quoted, acting out as Maggie Feller, trying to imitate the voice she'd put on for the speech.
Rosalie giggled, "Oh, My Marcia has a vagina alright, but My Marcia's vagina is made of solid 24 carrot gold!" she posed, as she strutted around the room. By now Alice had tears streaming down her face as she was laughing so hard at Rosalie and mine impersonations.
"My Marcia's vagina is so perfect, it's in a museum!" I somehow managed to splutter out between my giggles. We flopped down on the sofa, in giggles, trying to breathe. We sat on the sofa, chatting for about forty-five minutes, gossiping about people we knew and other various topics. I glanced down at my watch, 1:15pm; Edward should be home now… I thought. I bit my lip and turned to Alice and Rosalie.
"Edward isn't home." I whimpered, thoughts dashing through my head. Could it just be traffic? Would he cheat on me? Was there an accident? Was he still at the meeting and it was good news and I was simply over-reacting as I usually did? All these what if's flooded into my head.
Alice frowned, "What time did he say he'd be back sweetheart?" She asked me, looking as if she could read my mind, or at least my face. I bet I looked panicked.
"Now, lunch time, and he usually means now, Alice where is he?" I asked her urgently, he would've called, he always did. Maybe he forgot? Was he actually still in the meeting? Did I call him instead? Oh help… I moaned to myself.
Rosalie rubbed my back soothingly, "Call him babe, he could be running late and have forgotten to call," she smiled comfortingly – so sure and confident of it that I almost believed her – almost. But Edward wasn't like that, he didn't forget. Maybe he was so eager that he got the job he wanted to try to get back as fast as possible or wanted to surprise me. I picked up my phone and checked for any missed calls or text messages.
1 Message Received, I clicked it open, and read it urgently, my eyes scanning over the words.
'I love you beautiful, just getting on my train now, be back at 1:15pm as normal, I'll call if different, E x'
There we had it, proof that he was meant to be home. Proof he would call me. I dialled the number I knew off by heart and listened for the ring. It rang five times before lapsing into Edward's answer phone. "Hello this is Edward Cullen, I am unable to get to the phone right now, so please leave your name and a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. Bye." I heard the beep and hurriedly spoke.
"Edward, it's me. Where are you? You said you'd be back by now, and you're not. And you didn't call. I'm worried, I miss you. I love you," I whispered, and hung up, looking up at Alice and Rosalie desperately.
Alice dashed in quickly, "Maybe his phone died, Edward's my brother I know how forgetful he is you know? He's probably just on his way now Bella, don't panic he'll be fine. He's a big boy; he can take care of himself." I nodded, Alice was probably right, he'd been fine, he'd walk through the door any moment now proving all my negative thoughts wrong and I'd feel so guilty for even suspecting him of doing half of those things.
"Lets watch some T.V yeah?" Rosalie suggested and switched the Television back on. BBC 1 filled on and the afternoon news was on. Sally Taylor looked grim today, I wondered why a murder? Or a financial status problem perhaps? I sat back, staring at the screen trying to take my thoughts off Edward.
"Today there has been a numerous amount of terrorist attacks in London," my heart stopped for a moment. London. That's where Edward was today. "The morning 8:48am train to London was one of the three trains that were bombed." The 8:48am train… Edward's train.
I stopped breathing, my heart started thumping erratically. No, no, no! There must be some mistake, not Edward's train, not his train! I began to hyperventilate and Alice and Rosalie stared at me in horror, Rosalie grabbed me as I slumped to the ground, tears streaming from my eyes. No, this was a mistake, a huge mistake.
"Bella! What is it?" Rosalie shook my shoulders as Alice knelt in front of me, holding my hand. I couldn't answer. Not the 8:48am train, any but that please! Rosalie shook my shoulders again, "Bella!" Answer me! This is important!" She screeched. I opened my mouth; I could taste the salt of my tears. This wasn't real, this was a joke. A sick joke.
"E-E-Edward's t-t-train." I stuttered out as I crawled over to the T.V trying to listen desperately.
"…four suicide bombers had a plan, three would go on three different trains, and one would go on a bus. They all let their bombs off at separate times, and it is said that where they were set off there was a massive explosion. People have been notified as dead, most injured, and few unhurt…" Sally Taylor spoke in a serious voice.
I dropped to the ground hearing the words again, "Notified as dead, most injured and few unhurt." Which one was Edward? Rosalie and Alice were looking at me with horror struck faces. "EDWARD WAS ON THAT TRAIN!" I screamed, and sobbed on the floor, my chest heaving at the shuddering breaths I was inhaling. Alice sat paralyzed on the floor, her eyes wide and unstaring. Rosalie gasped and yelled, "NO!" She wrapped her arms around me, this crying mass on the floor.
The news echoed throughout mine and Edward's house. "We have been notified 56 are dead, including the perpetrators, over 700 are injured, and unhurt, these numbers are tremendously high and we are currently trying to find the identifications." I untangled myself from Rosalie and ran to the front door; I slipped on my trainers and ran out, Rosalie following me, with Alice in pursuit.
"Where are you going?" Rosalie shouted as I jumped into my car, keys in the ignition, she and Alice jumped in alongside me. I slammed my foot down on the accelerator, speeding down the streets to the train station. In my mind praying Edward was alive, Edward was alive, Edward was alive. Rosalie instantly recognised once I'd turned a few streets. "No! No Bella! Go Back! It'll be blocked off, Bella please don't do this. Please." She begged me yet I made no attempt to listen to her and drive back home. Did she honestly expect me to do that?! My husband was on that train, he could be DEAD, and she didn't want me to go!?
I reached the train station to find it was blocked off by the police; I slammed down the brakes, and jumped out the car, leaving it running with the keys in ignition. Tears streaming down my face, and I ran towards the train station. "NO!" I screamed. Large, burly hands secured around my arms, pushing me away from the station.
"I'm sorry Miss, you can't get through – there was some suicidal bomb-" I cut the man off, thrashing against his strong hold, lashing out and kicking, and screaming like a child. How dare he hold me back from the thing that kept me from Edward – I needed to go there, I had to go there.
"No, I have to! My husband, please, I'm begging you." I sobbed, as I fought helplessly from his tight bond. Rosalie and Alice appeared and took me to the car. I curled in the driver's seat, hoping some miracle would happen and Edward would walk out – unhurt, and alive, healthy. He'd wrap his arms around me and tell me he loved me…
I awoke early in the morning, my hand reached out for him, but I didn't reach him. "Edward…" I groaned, and stretched out into the darkness for the soft, cool shape of my husband. I gripped air instead and hissed in annoyance. Then it all came back to me. The bombs, the train, Edward. Oh Edward. Tears leaked from my eyes, as I realised the nightmare I'd had wasn't fake – it was real, harsh reality.
I still remember the day, I waited in my car for hours on end, I stayed there for days, until I finally had to move. Everyday I waited by the telephone, praying it would ring to say they'd found Edward, indentified him, and that he wasn't injured and was safe to go. Everyday I waited by the front door till the early hours of the morning, waiting for him to walk through the door and hold me in his arms like he promised me he would.
"I love you Bella, you are my life. I'll be back so soon you won't have time to miss me." His last words to me echoed inside my head. He promised he'd be back soon, and that I wouldn't miss him because it would be so short. Yet I'm still waiting a year later. I used to think being away from him for a minute was painful, not seeing him for a year is the hardest yet, and it gets harder everyday. Someday I know I'll have to face the music, I'll realise he isn't coming back and that it will hurt like hell for the rest of my life. But I can't leave now, it pains me to much.
I still remember everything about Edward, his pure green emerald emotion filled eyes, his messy bronze hair, his beautiful features. His personality, his touch, his voice… It pained me to think of him. Everyday words caused me to breakdown and still do, no one could mention simple words around me like London, train, piano or even the colour green. It all reminded me of Edward, and it cruelly reminded me that he wasn't here with me.
I switched on the bedside lamp, and stared at the empty space next to me. His space. I never used to sleep with extra blankets, when I was cold he'd wrap his arms around me, but now I didn't have him to cuddle me at night and keep me warm. I'd reach out for him most nights, praying it was all just a dream, but reality hit me hard every time, and every time it stung a little more. Taunting me with the fact life had so harshly taken my life source away.
I walked over to his wardrobe and took out a t-shirt of Edward's. My Mum and Edward's Mum, Esme had offered to take his stuff away so it wouldn't hurt me when I saw his things, but I couldn't let them go. His clothes sat in his wardrobe, and I'd go in their everyday and inhale what was left of his scent on the clothes. I'd wear his old sweats and t-shirts, and I'd sit in the music room, staring at the piano. Sometimes I'd sit on the bench and play in my mind that Edward was sitting next to me and playing for me. I'd treasured the compositions he'd left at home, and I had them locked in a special chest with a key, sat next to the piano. Above my bed, I had the note he'd written to me, framed and hung in a gold expensive decorative style. I'd read it every night before I went to bed, thanking God that he allowed me to have such an amazing husband for even the short space of time. Some nights I read it and I sobbed and sobbed, noticing the 8:48am train and wished I'd delayed him or made him stay with me, for if I did, maybe he'd still be alive.
Work hard on that novel of yours, someday it'll be a bestseller and I'll be your number one fan. I'll be thinking of you when I catch my 8:48am train to London and my thoughts will be with you all day darling.
I love you Bella,
Love your husband Edward xxx'
Somedays I'd sit at home on the couch, waiting for Edward. Some nights in bed, I'd call out it was his turn to switch off the light tonight, but no one ever did. Some days I'd wake up and make two cups of coffee instead of the lonely one that I only needed now. Other days I'd make too much dinner for me alone; not used to having to cook for one person, as Edward had been in my life as long as I could remember.
I followed his words however, I worked hard on my novel, and I sent it to a friend of my mother's who worked in publishing. She liked it and currently it is getting worked on and crossed fingers it'll be published soon. My book and name will be in shops, and I worked hard for Edward, it was what he wanted. I still call him my number one fan even though he isn't there to say it. He was the one who inspired me to write, when I wrote of love I described my love of how I felt of him, when I wrote of sorrow, I wrote of the sorrow I felt for him not being here.
I glanced at my watch, 7:00am. I pulled myself out of bed, and went into the shower. I pulled on a cardigan and a pair of shoes and walked out of the house. I walked down the familiar streets, I hadn't dared move, this was Edward's dream home, even though it was too big for one, I couldn't bare to move or leave it. I wandered down the road, my damp hair curling slightly, as I wandered into the graveyard.
I closed my eyes as I neared the place where Edward's grave lay. The police and fire fighters never found his body which made it all the worse. His body was ruined, and beyond repair. He must've been near the bomb, knowing Edward if he'd seen it he'd have tried to stop it. Edward would've risked his lives for others, I told myself, because he was that caring considerate man, the man I was just so happy he was blessed as my husband.
I laid the bouquet of roses down on his grave, and tears felt quickly down my face. "Hello Edward," I whispered softly. "I miss you so much, I love you. I wish you were still here; life without you is the hardest thing there is. I wish you'd never gone on that train, maybe then you'd still be here with me, but that's fate, it's cruel and harsh and it ruined my life. Maybe if I'd delayed you slightly you'd be here. Maybe you'd be in our bed lying next to me once again. Maybe I'd hear you say I love you to me again." My voice broke off at the end, tears pouring down my face at an unstoppable speed.
"I remember when we were fourteen you know? When we told each other we had feelings for each other," I breathed deeply, shuddering breaths issued out. "That was one of the best days of my life Edward, I got the man of my dreams and so much more." I didn't even bother wiping the tears, more were flowing now.
"Oh hello Bella darling, it's lovely to see you," Esme smiled warmly as she opened the front door to the Cullen Residence for me to come through. "I assume it's Edward you want to talk to?" She asked me with a knowing smile, I nodded, smiled gratefully at Esme and ran up to his room. Edward was sat on his bed, his head was bent over resting in his hands which were placed on his knees. His thumb and finger pinching the bridge of his nose, I knew immediately he was stressed. I walked up behind him silently, and put my hands over his eyes, wondering who'd he expect it to be – probably Alice, she could be a really annoying pixie, Edward especially knew that, him being her sister. Or maybe he'd guess it was me straight away?
"Guess who?" I chuckled, and I felt Edward take my hands from his eyes, and turned around to face me with his beautiful crooked smile. He looked breathtaking, his bronze hair was messier then usual due to him running his hands through it, his eyes were bright and shining with emotion. I caught my breath just looking at him, how was it that my best friend had to be the one I fell in love with? Not to mention he was the best looking kid at school, and the smartest and the kindest; people queued up to date Edward, yet he never did.
"Bella," he said softly, and he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me onto his lap. This was typical me and Edward, people assumed we were dating by the things we did, but we weren't – we were just more closer then your average best friends. "Bells, I need to talk to you," Edward said in a serious voice. I nodded softly, confused.
"Okay, what is it?" I asked him curiously as I angled myself to see his face. He looked… nervous, and possibly scared, I wondered what he had to be scared of, my reaction? He knew I would stand by him all the way didn't he, well he should know that because I always would.
"Bella, I don't want to be your best friend anymore, and I don't want to be your friend," he spoke in a strong, sure voice. My heart broke in two, my breath hitched. He didn't want to be my friend? I pushed myself off his lap, tears springing into my eyes and falling down my cheeks, Edward looked pained meanwhile, like someone had ran over his puppy. "Bella, I don't want to be your best friend because… I love you. And I want to be more then your best friend," his hands cupped my face, his eyes burning into mine, showing true emotion. He loved me… Edward loved me back, Edward this perfect being, this… God of a Man! Wanted me, plain old Isabella Swan. Edward looked at me carefully, trying to assess my thoughts, and facial expressions. I chuckled as that gorgeous face of his frowned in concentration, to many times he'd told me I was hard to read.
"Bella, I love you," he looked at me, asking for some reaction to his words. My heart soared, and a smile stretched across my face, I knew it was probably as huge as the Cheshire Cats. I reached up with my own hand and brushed his cheek softly. A soft smile lit his face, "See?" He chuckled, "I revolve my world around you, when you smile, it makes me smile, when you're sad, I'm sad-"
"Edward," I cut him off, "I love you too," I whispered. He smiled brilliantly, and bent down to me, and pressed his lips to mine. My blood boiled, and I felt my hands naturally go to his hair, running them through his beautiful bronze locks, and locking them in place. His hands slid around my waist pulling me closer to him. Our lips moved in perfect synchronization, he was perfect. Edward kissed me intensely and I clung onto him harder, he picked me up off the floor slightly as he held me tightly around my waist. We broke off a long moment later, both panting for breath with swollen lips.
Edward smiled crookedly, my favourite smile of his. "I love you Bella," he whispered in my ear, holding me close to him. I couldn't describe how I felt. Amazing, complete, in love, and I'd finally found the perfect soul mate for me.
The thought of the memory sprung fresh tears to my eyes. "I loved you since I set eyes on you, in pre-school I'd go home to my Mum and told her that I had a new best friend called Edward, and that I loved him." I chuckled gently at the memory, as tears stained my face. "You were always there for me, I never had to act like someone else for you to like me, you liked me for who I w-w-was." I spoke the last line shakily, and the taste of salty water caught on my tongue.
"Edward, I miss you so much. It hurts me to know that you had to go out that way, that you never got your dream of us aging on a porch together when we were old. You never got to know if you're compositions were record deal worthy – and I can tell you now though they would've loved you. I wish you were here Edward, I wish that I could change my place with yours because you had so much to live for." I wiped endless tears from my cheeks, as I looked down at the grave stone.
"You know what hurt me most Edward? Was the fact that they never found your body, you'd been so badly ruined that there was nothing left of you. Nothing left of my perfect husband at all, no body to lie under this grave stone here. No one to say goodbye to. The only thing I have left of you are photographs and memories. I want you back Edward." My voice cracked at the end, as tears leaked from my eyes, dripping off my chin.
I breathed in, and let out a shaky breath, "I looked at our wedding videos and photos last night, we looked so happy…"
I was standing inside the Cullen's house, finally my wedding day had reached. It was only a small ceremony, family and close friends. Charlie was standing next to me, his palms slightly damp – he was almost as nervous as I was. Edward was standing at the end of that short walk and after a few minutes we'd be married…
Alice and Rosalie were my only bride maids, my two best friends of course. They were stood with me and Charlie, getting ready to walk down the aisle. Alice had me in her bathroom for the whole day and I was finally ready. My hair was down but was curled into light loose ringlets, I didn't have a veil, instead I had a white floral headband which was perched in my hair like a little floral tiara. My dress was simple and not overstated, it had lace ruffled sleeves, and a curved neckline which was low but wasn't revealing at all. The dress was pure white, and slightly ruffled, and made of a lacy material, but it was opaque and not transparent.
Rosalie kissed my cheek lightly as it came up to her turn to walk down. "You look beautiful Bella honey," she chuckled softly and smiled happily. I shook my head, no one could look beautiful compared to Rosalie especially now. Her golden hair was down, and soft waves shook down her back, two front bits had been braided and tied together at the back, her dress was a golden cream colour. It was a halter neck and it ended just above her knees, the bottom was slightly ruffled, she looked stunning!
Rosalie glided off statuesquely down the aisle and Alice came up next to me, "I'm up now sweetie, good luck!" Alice looked just as beautiful as Rosalie. Her short black hair was in sleek pin curls instead of her usual spiky do. Her dress was the same golden cream colour as Rosalie's but was with straps instead of a halter neck. The dress came around her knees, and was ruffled around the bottom as well. She looked a vision! She pecked my cheek lightly, and floated off gracefully down the aisle.
I ran through Alice's instructions in my mind, once the wedding march began then Charlie and I would walk down the aisle together. The ceremony would end exactly at Twilight, Alice had been careful and precise to make sure it would end at that time due to it being Edward and my favourite time. Then we'd change into our reception clothes and have the after party at the Cullen's house, it would all go perfect as Alice predicted, I was sure.
The wedding march came on, and Charlie linked his arm with mine. We walked out of the doors, and began the slow walk to the top of the aisle. As soon as I entered I looked straight up for him. He was staring at me with a look of such devotion and adoration that I felt I would collapse with weak knees. I knew my look was exactly the same as his, and I wanted to just run into his arms yet I stayed by my Dad. It seemed like an eternity to walk up that short aisle, and Charlie squeezed my hand softly, before placing it into Edward's.
Edward clasped my hand tightly in his, and I stared up into his emerald adoringly, he smiled crookedly, taking my breath away. I turned myself so I was stood opposite him. The music stopped, and the audience fell silent, turning all their attention upon Edward and myself. Usually I would've hated the attention but this one time it didn't bother me at all, I was finally marrying the man I loved, and my attention would all be focused on him anyway. His thumb brushed the back of my hand, and I smiled blissfully up at him. He smiled adoringly at me, and we looked up to the Vicar to signal we were ready to start the ceremony, that we'd been waiting for so long now. The Vicar – who was one of my close friend's Angela's father smiled at us happily and began the ceremony.
The vicar cleared his throat, and linked his hands together, holding them by his chest, "In the presence of God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, we have come together to witness the marriage of Edward and Isabella, to pray for God's blessing on them, to pray for their joy and to celebrate their love. Marriage is a gift of God in creation through which husband and wife may know the grace of God. it is given that as man and woman grow together in love and trust, they shall be united with one another in heart, body and mind, as Christ is united with the bride, the Church. The gift of marriage brings husband and wife together in the delight and tenderness of sexual union and joyful commitment to the end of their lives. It is given as the foundation of family life in which children and born and nurtured and in which each member of the family, in good times and bad, may find strength, companionship and comfort, and grow to maturity in love. Marriage is a sign of unity and loyalty which should uphold and honour. It enriches society and strengthens community. No one should enter into it lightly or selfishly but reverently and responsibly I the sight of the almighty God. Edward and Isabella are now to enter this way of life. They will each give their consent to the other and make solemn vows, in token of this they will each give and receive a ring. We pray with them that the Holy Spirit will guide and strengthen them, that they may fulfil God's purposes for the whole of their earthly life together." I listened to the words, staring into Edward's eyes, exactly the same way he was staring at me.
The vicar turned to face the congregation, "First, I am required to ask anyone present who knows a reason why these persons may not lawfully marry, to declare it now." After a long moment of silence, the vicar nodded, and continued, "The vows you are about to take are to made in the presence of God, who is judge of all and knows all the secrets of your hearts; therefore if either of you knows a reason why you may not lawfully marry, you must declare it now." Edward and I stared at each other, a small bubble of laughter teasing the corner of my mouth at the very thought of it. Edward and I would never not want to be married to each other.
The vicar turned to Edward, "Edward, will you take Isabella Marie Swan to be your wife? Will you comfort her, honour and protect her, and forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as you both shall do."
Edward turned from the vicar and stared straight into my eyes. His own eyes full of love and emotion, making my heart thump erratically and my legs go weak at the knees. "I do." He spoke in a strong, sure voice but also full of love and care. I smiled at him brilliantly and he smiled his famous crooked grin at me.
The vicar turned to me, and smiled gently, "Isabella, do you take Edward Anthony Cullen to be your husband? Will you love him, comfort him, honour and protect him, and, forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?"
I turned to face Edward this time, looking into his emerald eyes. "I do." I nodded softly as I spoke adoringly looking into my soul mate's eyes.
The minister turned to the congregation again, "Will you, the families of Edward and Isabella, support and uphold them in their marriage now and in the years to come." The congregation spoke together a chorus of we will and the vicar turned to face me and Edward again. "Edward and Isabella, I now invite you to join hands and make your vows in the presence of God and his people."
Edward and I turned to face each other, and Edward reached up to hold my hand in his, he brushed his thumb softly against the back of my hand, making me smile. Edward looked deeply into my eyes once more and began to recite the vows. "I, Edward Anthony Cullen, take you, Isabella Marie Swan, to be my wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part; according to God's holy law. In the presence of God I make this vow."
He released my hand, and I took his right hand in mine, looking into those gorgeous gree eyes, I began to recite the famous vows, "I , Isabella Marie Swan, take you, Edward Anthony Cullen, to be my husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part; according to God's holy law, In the presence of God I make this vow."
Once again we loosened our hands and the vicar produced the rings, and spoke some words, "Heavenly Father, by your blessing let these rings be to Edward Anthony and Isabella Marie a symbol of unending love and faithfulness, to remind them of the vow and covenant which they have made this day through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen."
Edward picked up his ring to me, and gently slid it onto my fourth finger of my left hand, holding it there, he spoke softly, "Isabella, I give you this ring as a sign of our marriage. With my body I honour you, all that I am to give to you, and all I have to share with you, within the love of God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit." Edward kissed my hand gently, as I held his ring in my hand.
I held his hand and gently slid on his ring onto the fourth finger of his left hand, as I held it there I recited, "Edward, I give you this ring as a sign of our marriage. With my body I honour you, all that I am to give to you, and all I have to share with you, within the love of God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit." I brushed my thumb across the back of his hand once, and loosed his hand.
The vicar spoke one last time, "In the presence of God, and before this congregation, Edward and Isabella have given their consent and made their marriage vows to each other. They have declared their marriage by the joining of hands ands by giving and receiving of rings. I therefore proclaim they are husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."
Edward grinned crookedly, and wrapped his hands around my face, he bent down his head and kissed me softly as I wrapped my arms around his neck, returning the passionate kiss. He broke off and bent down smiling at me. I couldn't be happier at this moment…
Tears streamed down my face, hard and fast, dripping down onto my clothes and staining my sweater. "I miss you so much Edward." My voice sounded hoarse and cracked once again as I spoke. The graveyard was silent excepting the echoes of my sobs.
"Everyone misses you Edward, everyone. Alice has never fully recovered, she never thought she'd lose her brother this way, she's never been her proper bubbly self again, and that's because you made all that difference Edward, you made our world happy, complete. Rosalie misses you, she misses your long car talks about the new Volvo and whatnot, most of all… she misses her friend." I wiped the tears from my cheeks shakily, and felt more spill onto my hand, my vision blurred. "Emmett misses you too, h-h-he wants his baby brother back," I sobbed as I thought of Emmett, "he never jokes anymore, it's as if you took his happiness away. Jasper misses you, you were best friends, he never expected this to happen, but then again none of us expected this." I squeezed my eyes for a moment. "I miss you Edward, I never expected this to happen, that your train happened to be the one that got bombed, it's tore my world apart. It's torn our world apart." I sobbed.
I felt myself be lifted off my feet, and gently pulled into someone's arms. They wear strong, and I longed for them to be Edward, but I knew they weren't. Emmett kneeled down on the floor, rocking me softly like a baby. Alice sat down cross-legged by Edward's grave, her face turned so I couldn't see her expression. Rosalie and Jasper seated themselves around me and Edward's grave as well, their expressions lost and forlorn.
I didn't know how long they'd been standing there for but I didn't care, my best friends had known I'd be here on the anniversary of Edward's death and had come I sobbed into Emmett's chest, staining his shirt, but he never complained once. I looked up at Emmett and saw he was crying as well, something before Edward died I never thought I'd see Emmett do. But now, it seemed to be a common thing whenever he was at mine or Edward was raised up. Jasper wrapped an arm around Alice and kissed her temple gently, the sight made my heart tear up. They were so in love.
Rosalie squeezed my hand, "How about we all say something to Edward?" she spoke quietly, yet loud enough for us all to hear, "something to him, that we'll remember him by and we'll also tell him how much we missed him as well yeah? How about you start Jasper?" Rosalie deliberately asked Jasper, so that I could go last, I smiled shakily at her.
Jasper exhaled a deep breath, "I'll start with something to remember him by," he murmured quietly. "What to say? Edward, I remember when we were in high school, and we were at your house at the weekend, we were bored and we decided to call Wall-Mart up," Jasper cracked a smile softly at the memory, "we spent about half an hour asking them what type of toilet roll should we buy as we had sensitive bums," Jasper snorted a laugh, "he took us so seriously as well. That's what I want to remember you by, the guy I used to laugh with and share my jokes with." He spoke solemnly now, his tone had changed obviously, "I miss you a lot Edward, I wish you would've gone another way, but… it's done now and we can't change time, even if I wish I could. I miss you mate…" he finished and looked down at Alice, gesturing it was time for her to start.
Tears fell onto Alice's cheeks silently. "Edward, I'm always going to remember you as my big brother, the best big brother you could ever ask for. I remember us as kids together, growing up together, you were never one of those big brothers's who shoved me away when you grew up, and you always had time for me. I remember that holiday we had in Spain together, and when we were in the Sea, and I saw a jellyfish, it was only small but I was scared it'd sting me, and you came rushing in, not worrying about your safety and you helped me out. And all those other times that I'll never forget, ever. I promise." Alice let out a small sob. "I'm going to miss you so much Edward, you're my best friend and my big brother and you always will b-be." She turned her head into Jasper's chest crying softly, as he rubbed her back. It pained me to look and I turned my head away.
Rosalie bit her lip as if hiding back the sparkling tears in her eyes; she bent her head down, her beautiful golden hair hiding her features. "Edward, what to say?" She murmured, just loud enough for us to hear. "You were the brother I never had, and you were part of the family because Jasper, Alice, Bella, Emmett and I were always with you from pre-school to last year. You made me laugh so much and I will never forget all the times we shared together, you helped me out when I wanted to be a mechanic and you never doubted me. Seriously, you were one of the most amazing guys I've ever met, I'm so happy that at least I could call you my best friend now." A tear streaked down her cheek and plopped onto the ground silently. "I miss you so much, if it's this bad for me, then I feel so bad for Bells. I miss you Edward, love you Volvo owner." She sniffed and rested her head in her lap.
Emmett tightened his grip on me, aware it was his go now. I looked up and saw his eyes filling with glistening tears, the brown eyes sparkling with the tears threatening. "Baby brother," His voice cracked. "Man, we had good times together bro, we did it all together. When me, you and Jasper went through the phrase where we wanted to be a band, when we decided to make a movie as a kid, and you were ordering me about. When you were on the piano, simple things I never realised I would miss so much now they're not here." He let out a sob, a year ago we would've been in such a shock at this, macho Emmett, but now Emmett was like a vulnerable little boy, alone, lost, frightened and sad. "I miss you so much," he gasped out, and let out a gurgled sob, "you were the baby brother, you weren't meant to die first, I wish I died, oh man." He broke down into sobbing, everyone stared at Emmett. Rosalie wrapped an arm around him and whispered into his ear. He subsided and the stares turned to me. My turn.
Emmett looked at me silently, a soft miserable smile of his saying it was ok. I nodded, and felt tears streak my cheeks, falling into my lap thick and fast. "Edward… I remember us in pre-school, I came running home shouting 'MUMMY I MADE A BEST FRIEND CALLED EDWARD AND I'M GOING TO MARRY HIM!' That made her smile and once she saw us together, she believed my words even if I was a little three year old girl. We went to school together, sat next to each other. In Junior school we were inseparable, and even through the 'cootie' stage, and all the stages where boys and girls weren't friends, we always were. Best friends, always and forever. I always loved you from a little girl, and you told me that you always loved me. You were my soul mate, always were and forever and always you still will be. In senior school Lauren, Jessica and Tanya – the coolest and most popular girl at school – threw themselves at you yet every time you told them no and said you liked someone else. I was glad when you said no but I was just so envious of that girl you said you liked, I wished I was her. And then in year 9 you finally told me you liked me, and we admitted our feelings, that's the best day of my life, actually everyday since you'd told me that were pretty much amazing," tears thundered down my cheeks and a sob echoed throughout the silent graveyard. "I remember our wedding night, our honey moon, the day we moved in together, pre-school, school, college, university, starting work, everything was with you. And you just made it so perfect." I squeezed my eyes shut looking down at my lap, the tears poured onto my hands, making them wet and damp. "I l-l-love you so much, I don't want to try and carry on with life I just want to be with you." I sobbed, "Why did they take my husband away?! Why this perfect man? Why someone so kind, innocent, sweet, loved by everyone, why did they take you away?!" I broke off into hysterical sobbing, "You… w-would've helped them… th-they n-never even found y-y-you." I shuddered into a wrenching sob, which shook my entire body. "I love you Edward, I always will I don't want to live without you." I cried desperately, arms wrapped around me but my eyesight was so blurred with tears I couldn't tell who. They lifted me up and began to walk away with me. NO! I CAN'T LEAVE EDWARD BEHIND. I thrashed and kicked viciously, scratching and shouting. The arms lowered me down slowly and I kicked away and ran back to the gravestone, I wrapped my arms around it, sobbing madly. I blinked the tears and saw the hazy outline of Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper and Alice staring at me from the path, they watched me with such loss and sadness in their eyes. They wanted to take me home but I couldn't go, not without Edward, this gravestone, this piece of concrete was my one thing of him. I couldn't leave. No.
"Edward, I'm forgetting some things, stupid things. Its been to long, I haven't heard your voice for a year, a whole year. I'm forgetting it, I'm forgetting memories. I don't want to! I hold onto them so hard it hurts but then I find myself not remembering. Of course some things I will never forget, but your voice, the way you smelt, they're slipping away from me. Don't make them leave me Edward, they're all I have left of you. I'm forgetting how you held me, sometimes I can't even remember what it feels like to be held by you, and I want to know what it was like again. Come back, please, anything. Take me with you wherever you are." I sobbed, holding onto the gravestone. "I'm scared Edward. I'm scared of forgetting you because it feels like letting go, but I don't want to let go, I will never let go. Don't let me let go." I wiped tears from my eyes.
"What scares me the most is that I'm forgetting you and I try not to." I whispered, "I love you Edward Anthony Cullen. My soul mate."