Sam watched in horror as Pamela stopped coughing, and her breath got really shallow. A few seconds later, her chest wasn't moving.

"Pamela?" Dean's voice was raspy beside him, trying to will the psychic back into life and consciousness. "Pamela!"

Sam could feel his heart beating in his chest; his eyes still open wide. Even though he was staring right at Pamela's body, he wasn't seeing her. He didn't see Dean either, tossing him a look of utter confusion as to what had just happened. Pamela's last words echoed in his head, and he replayed them over and over, trying to find some way to prove that she hadn't said what he thought she had said.

"I know what you did to that demon, Sam. I can feel what's inside of you. If you think you have good intentions, think again."

For the first time, Sam noticed Dean's worried eyes on his face, scrutinizing his expression. "What did she say to you?" Dean asked, still waiting for Sam to do something. Sam felt his breath hitch, the meaning slowly starting to hit him.

"If you think you have good intentions, think again."

What was bad about what she saw him do? He was just trying to save her life. That's all he ever did! What the hell was bad about that? Wasn't that good enough intentions?

"Think again."

Sam wanted to throw up, his eyes finally taking in Pamela's dead form. Pamela was dead. Dead. He couldn't save her. Everyone died when they were around him. The demon's always wanted him anyways, ever since he was a baby. And if anyone else got in the way… They died.

"Tell Bobby Singer to go to hell for ever introducing me to you in the first place."

By that she meant Sam, of course. It wasn't even Deans fault. None of it was. If Dean hadn't gone to hell for Sam, they wouldn't have had to involve Pamela in the first place. And it was Sam who was brought back into his body from the sprit world first, so he should have been able to save her. It was his fault she was dead.


It was stupid to even speak. To even breathe. Of course she wasn't going to answer. She was dead. He knew she was dead. Sam felt his breathing hitch again, getting faster and more forced with every breath.

"If you think you have good intentions, think again."


Dean's voice went in one ear and out the other. Dead. She was dead. And it was Sam's fault. Pamela even said it was his fault. And now she was dead. Dead.

How long had Pamela known about the demon blood? Why hadn't she said anything? Why did everyone have to drop the bomb like this?

"Dad… The demon said he had plans for me and other children like me. Do you have any idea what he meant by that?"


"I don't know when it happened… But the Sam I knew is gone."

"Do you think mom would have wanted this for us?"

"He said I might have to kill you, Sammy."

"Does Jessica know the truth about you, does she know the thing's you've done?"

"No and she's not ever going to know."

"There'll be collateral damage, but it has to be done."

"The melting silver into bullets… Dean we were raised like warriors."

"Sammy… you're my favorite."

"Sometimes, you just gotta let people go."

"Does this mean I have… demon blood in me?"

"On the bright side, I'll be there with you. That little fallen angel on your shoulder."

"Show your brother the killer you really are, Sammy."

"Sam do me a favor okay, if your going to keep your little secrets – and its not like I can stop you – but just don't treat me like I'm an idiot, okay?"

"You did the right thing you know… That guy was a monster, there was no turning back."

"If you think you have good intentions, think again."

"…Sam?" Dean interrupted Sam's thoughts, speaking louder this time. "You okay?"

It was a question of habit, of course. Of course he wasn't okay. He had just been turned into a ghost, put back into a human, and watched his friend die in front of him. Sam and Dean were both officially not okay. So when Dean was asking if Sam was okay, he was asking what was going on through Sam's head. What was going on? What's the problem? Why wasn't Sam talking? What was wrong with him?

Everything is wrong with me Dean, that's the problem.

"I know what you did to that demon, Sam."

"Dude, talk to me." Suddenly Dean was there, standing beside Sam with a hand on his shoulder. "Sam, what's wrong?"

Sam went to talk, and the air moving to quickly in and out of his lungs seemed to prevent it. A part of him knew that he was going into shock, but not the part of him that cared. He felt Dean kneeling down beside him, a hand still glued to Sam's shoulder.

"Common man, say something. What did she tell you?"

Silence. Sam knew he looked like an idiot, just staring at Pamela's body. He should move. He should talk. What was he going to tell Dean? The truth? He didn't even know what the truth even was.

Dean looked at Sam for a minute, seeming to judge his silence. He was probably starting to realize that Sam was going into shock. Looking towards Pamela's body, and back to Sam, he also seemed piece together the idea that her there was not good for Sam's well being. Which was true.

"Sam…"Sam felt a gentle shake on his shoulder, and eventually he looked into his brother's eyes. " I'm going to take care of this, okay? I want you to go get cleaned up Sam. Don't worry about using up all the hot water, I'll be fine."

Sam felt himself being lead by the arm towards the bathroom door, and he managed out a nod. "'Kay…"

Dean frowned; probably concerned by the fact that Sam had said a total of two words since Pamela died. "…Sam?"

"Yeah, I uh… yeah."

Okay… so he still couldn't manage coherent sentences yet, but Sam was proud of himself for talking at all. Dean gave him a weird look that was somewhere between concern and pity, before coming to conclusions that he wasn't going to get anything better.

"You good, Sammy? Sam?"

Why did Dean keep saying his name? Did Dean think he forgot? Sam. My name is Sam. I know!

Even though it was annoying, it was still kind of nice to hear Dean calling him Sammy. Did that mean that he didn't think that Sam was gone anymore? Could he be considered Dean's friend again?

Could the real Sam Winchester please stand up?

Sam stopped in the doorway, confused by his own thoughts. Dean gave him another weird look, wondering why Sam just stopped walking all of a sudden.

Oh god… I'm going crazy aren't I?

A thought hit him then full throttle. What was he going to tell Dean? If he wanted to keep Dean's trust – or at least try to get it back – he had to tell Dean something. And what Pamela told Sam wouldn't mean anything to Dean, but it would open up a can of worms that Sam would rather leave buried. "So…what did you do to the demon Sam? How does she know about the demon blood? What the hell does she mean about not having good intentions?"

Sam could see it now. Words would be said, fists would go flying… And Sam would probably let them. Because the truth was, Dean hadn't been far off. Ever. It was a slippery road. But it didn't mater what Sam said. There was nothing about this condition that Dean would understand. Sam didn't even get it half the time. All that left was lies. His whole life was a big fat lie. So how was he supposed to tell Dean anything this time without loosing him again?

He couldn't.

Dean looked to his brother in confusion, trying to read something in Sam's face that would tell him what had just happened. Sam was still watching Pamela, as if she was just going to spring up and call him "grumpy" any second now. He wasn't moving, and his mouth was slightly open in what Dean only assumed to be shock. If Dean didn't know any better, he would say that whatever Pamela had just told Sam had paled him a few skin tones. Something big had happened, and Dean had missed it.


Nothing. Dean might as well have been talking to a brick wall. Sam didn't even acknowledge his presence.

"…Sam?" Dean spoke up, noticing that Sam flinched at the sound of his voice. "You okay?"

Sam's shoulders had risen slightly at the sound of Dean's voice, and they hesitated there. Sam seemed to be closing in on himself, and his breathing was visually getting faster. Dean suddenly realized that his brother wasn't shocked; he was going into shock.

"Dude, talk to me." Dean jumped from his seat, grabbing Sam's shoulder with his hand and shaking it a bit. "Sam, what's wrong?"

Sam was as quiet as ever, which was doing nothing for Dean's nerves. "Common man, say something." He knelt down beside his brother, trying to get Sam to look him in the eye. "What did she tell you?"

It was as if Dean was invisible. Sam's eyes seemed to look right through him, and Dean turned around to see that they were still glued to Pamela's dead body. He knew that he had to get Sam out of there, that it was the only way to calm him down. Dean pushed Sam to a stand, leading him towards the first excuse he could think of; the bathroom. "Sam… I'm going to take care of this, okay?" Dean was obviously talking about Pamela, but he avoided looking at her for fear that Sam might do the same. "I want you to go get cleaned up, Sam. Don't worry about using up all the hot water, I'll be fine."

Dean was already trying to think of what he was going to do. Calling Bobby was first on his list. The hunter wasn't that far away right now, and Dean needed to know what to do with the body. No… not the body. Pamela. Dean took a deep breath, trying to control himself. First the woman was blinded helping him find out who had raised him from hell – which would have been revealed eventually anyways – and now he died because his stupid idea to bring her into this backfired. Dean wanted to scream. But he knew he couldn't, because Sammy needed him right now. Whatever it was that Pamela had said clearly scarred the crap out of Sam, and Dean knew he needed to figure out what it was before Sam got a clear head and closed him out again. It felt wrong using Sam's emotional distress as a chance to get the truth out of him, but Dean didn't know a better way. Sam just didn't tell him things anymore.


Was that it? Was that all he was getting?!

"Yeah, I uh… yeah."

Wow, because that is just so much better…

"You good, Sammy?" Dean shook Sam slightly by the arm, Sam moved with the motion as if he didn't even notice. "Sam?"

Suddenly Sam stopped walking, and Dean almost walked right into him. What the hell…

"I… I've got to go." Suddenly Sam was pulling away from Dean, headed towards the door to the motel room. He seemed a little shaky on his feet, although he was walking quickly and purposely. There was no doubt that he was trying to leave.
"Sam, where are you going?" A few heartbeats behind, Dean hurried after his little brother just in time to have the door almost slammed in his face. Dean caught it with one arm, and threw it back open to run out into the parking lot. When he got there, Sam was running full throttle across the parking lot towards the road. Dean wasn't really sure where he was going – he had no car, and there weren't really any places to run to or hide in that direction – but Sam seemed determined to get there. Or maybe in his shock he was just running because he thought he had too. Dean just knew that Sam wasn't exactly playing with a clear head right now.

Dean ran as fast as he could, cursing the irony that fate had given his brother long legs. Sam was a good thirty feet ahead of him and still gaining ground, so when Sam cut across the side corner of the building, it took Dean a few minutes to even get close enough to –

Suddenly there was the screeching of tires, and a loud thud. Dean stopped Dean in his tracks, his mind going upside-down. Oh god, oh god, oh god… "Sam!" Just as quickly as he stopped, Dean started running to the corner of the building. Dean knew a lot about cars. He knew that a car had to be going pretty fast to hit something that made that kind of a noise. And he knew that Sam has just ran out there onto the road.

Dean's foot caught on a piece of loose concrete, and his knees and hands hit the ground hard. He felt a muted crack in his left pinky, but ignored it and jumped to his feet imidiately. He kept running till he got to the corner, and jumped the little fence bordering it and the lawn, coming to the main highway…

And then he saw it.


Yes, I know I'm evil. If you want to know what happened, subscribe for an update soon. I'm only planning for this story to have 2-3 chapters, because I feel that it is unfair to "cheat" on my other stories. I will update them all soon too, I promise.