Many of you reading this have read Laments of a Lawliet, and thus will understand the reason of why the ages of Mello, Matt and Near have been significantly lowered. If you somehow missed out on reading Laments and yet tuned into these 'files' I've been posting, you might wanna go back and read the story, lol! Yeah...25 chapters...*whistles*

To all of you who wanted more from Laments, here you go! I've killed two birds with one stone with this one. This is the last story for my A. D. Williams files and I've given you a more satisfactory ending, I believe. With that said, please enjoy!


Wrong Home

Once they had landed, they knew it had been a terrible idea. Rather, Beyond knew it was a horrible plan. A totally new country with three toddlers to look after? Ugh…

And yet, turning back was hardly an option. Wammy's had to have been looking for them by now. They'd overshot their intended target by 3000 miles and was now in the U.S. The heart of the nation at that. Beyond had never really cared too much for history and this city was chock full of it. And who's idea was it to go there, of all places? Oh yeah…his.

Screw it, if he thought about it hard enough, he'd find something to do here. He knew it.

"So, what are we doing first?" Mello asked the teenager, looking around warily. Beyond had chosen quite the location for them. Go figure he'd go for the place that would have the best security and detective forces, as though wanting to test his luck with whatever mischief he came up for them.

"Let's just stroll around and see what we find," Beyond said. He started walking down a random street, and the others fell in line.

"I'm not quite sure why the heck I let any of you talk me into this," Near whispered quietly to the other two children. "L's going to find us…make no mistake about that."

"Near, shut up," Mello told him. "Whether he does or not isn't the issue. It's when. We're going to have a blast in D.C. before he does it too!"

Suddenly, Matt cleared his throat. "Uh, say what you will, but even I'm kind of apprehensive about this one. I mean, we just placed our lives in the hands of Beyond frickin' Birthday! Do any of you not remember the hell we already went through with him in Japan?"

"Yeah, but that was because he was bored," Mello said. "This place is interesting, so things will be better."

"Okay, whatever," Matt cut in, waving a dismissive hand at Mello's reasoning. "But just what makes this place more interesting than Japan?"

"All the, um…architecture and…stuff…" Mello faltered, trying to come up with reasons.

"Why do I foresee a can of spray paint in the future?" Near mumbled.

They walked until they came across the iconic white structure with sprawling lawns and the black metal gate on the edge of the property. The White House.

"B…?" Mello asked. Beyond was doing his grin again. The one that spelled imminent disaster.

"We'll just take a look," Beyond said, and hopped the fence!

"Oh dear gods, he's going to get us all killed!" Matt whimpered. He pulled out his PSP and began walking in the opposite direction, head down and trying to blend in with the surrounding throng of people. "I don't know you guys! I'm just an innocent bystander!"

"Matt, no time for that!" Mello hissed and grabbed his arm. With a bit of effort, he pushed his friend over the rail and hopped up too, reaching back over to pull Near up as well.

"Okay, SWAT, Secret Service, and CIA should be swarming us by now…" Mello commented, looking around.

"Oh look, a school going on a tour," Beyond pointed out. "Maybe they think we're with them. In which…we are." He grinned again and headed for the group of children entering the building. Not wanting to be seen just standing about, they again followed after him. To hide the three toddlers, Beyond pushed them directly into the middle of the group of kids, who were probably middle schoolers. He was the opposite, too tall to fit in. But he'd had years of perfecting a slouch and finally it could be put to practical use. He doubled over far enough to where he blended in perfectly with the crowd.

The first stop the tour group went to was the kitchen. The chefs demonstrated on how to make some sort of fancy salad and everyone 'oohhed' and 'aahhed' like it was the greatest thing on earth. It bored the Wammy's boys to tears. As the gathering left, Beyond hung behind for a moment. The chefs probably thought he was just watching as they actually prepared to make the President's lunch, but that certainly wasn't the case. Before anyone could protest, he quickly ripped open the fridge and checked inside. No jam.

How dare the President not eat jam!!! Or rather, how dare the fridge not have any in case he does want some! "Excuse me," Beyond said, in a hostile voice. The chefs looked up at him and gasped, surprised that he'd made it so far into the room as to touch the appliances without them noticing. "I couldn't help but notice that there's no strawberry jam. In fact, there's not even grape. Can someone explain that to me?"

A guy in a stark white apron came over, waving a knife. "Get out of here kid. Who care's about some jam? The man upstairs never mentioned it so it's not in there. Move along, get back with your group."

Beyond never liked being told what to do. Without answering the man, he opened up the backpack he was carrying and dug out a brand new jar of jam. "I was saving this for later, but it would seem Barack Obama is in dire need of it more than me," he said. He placed the jar into the fridge and with a bright smile, he left out of the kitchen and rejoined the others.

"Where the hell were you?!" Matt whispered once he got back.

"Dropping something off," Beyond said, crouched down nearly to his ear.

Mello, Matt and Near's eyes all popped open as wide as possible. All of them had the same thought: Please don't let him have set any explosives anywhere in there. It wouldn't look good for England on why the boy skipped over his destination to come directly to the White House and do such a thing.

Time dragged on forever and they were shown the Blue room, Green room, and whatever else rooms the White House boated. The official touring ended in the Oval office. It was just as it was shown on TV, not a thing out of place, and probably too impeccable.

They only stayed for a brief moment, but like before, B hung back from the rest.

"Not again," Mello groaned. "He's trying to get himself killed…"

Near went in and picked up a pen off of the desk. "I wonder how much I could fetch with this by selling it online…" he mused.

"Dude, that's an ordinary fountain pen," Matt scoffed.

"No, it's an ordinary fountain pen that the President touched," Near corrected him. "See, throwing in that last part makes all the difference."

"How do you know? Someone could've just set that there," Mello said, also doubting the significance of the object.

"Because, his name is even written on it," Near simply told them and showed them where it was. He was right. In gold lettering was the President's name.

Mello and Matt were going to argue the point further but Beyond interrupted them. "Hey, take a picture of me!" He said, and held out a digital camera. He himself though was sitting behind the desk.

"Near's pen thieving is like shoplifting a cheap pack of gum compared to what the hell you're doing," Mello told him. "Have you lost your mind?!"

B shrugged. "Hey, it's just a picture. I'm not defacing anything. Oh, wait a minute." He reached into a drawer and pulled out a cigar, then held it to his mouth as he plopped his feet up on the desk's surface. "Okay, now take the picture!"

"I want in it!" Matt suddenly said. He hopped up on the top of it as well and did the V for victory.

Mello passed the camera to Near. "You take it. We're probably only going to get an opportunity like this once in a lifetime." He went over to the other side of the desk and hopped up, also doing a V like Matt's.

"Oh, and I'm just supposed to stand here and only capture this monumental occasion?" Near asked, quirking an eyebrow. He set the camera to go off in ten seconds, placed it on a bookshelf at about their height, then ran over and joined in the photo, pulling only one leg up onto the desk.

When the flash went off, they examined what had been taken. Beyond looked…confident, to say the least, about his laid-back pose. Matt was grinning childishly, and though Mello was giving the same hand sign, he was smirking almost deviously. Near simply looked himself, hair-twirling and all.

Since they had overstayed their time in the room, to pass by the hall security, Mello threw a quarter down the hall. Stupidly, the man paused to pick it up and with that, the four of them made a break for it back downstairs.

The school children were still there, exploring the gift shop on the first floor. There was even a computer or two for them to use. In moments, Beyond had the camera hooked up and was uploading the picture online. But just in case L didn't use Google imaging, he sent the photo to him directly via an email. When he tracked where it was sent from, he'd find that it had come from the White House and that indeed, the setting was authentic.

"So, what now?" Matt asked, arms laden with silly souvenirs. There was something about buying White House stuff directly from the White House that made it almost irresistible.

Beyond cast him a grin. "Well, L now knows where we are and it won't be too long before he or someone he knows arrives here. I think it's time for us to hit the road, fellas."

"Back to Wammy's?" Near asked, uploading a picture of the pen he'd taken onto eBay.

"Tch, hell no! How's LA sound?" The teen asked them.

They thought it over and one by one, each one also began to smile. "Doesn't sound like such a bad idea…" Mello said.

The destination was set. They knew they had the brains to get there. L was undoubtedly now hot on their trail but the world's greatest detective hunting down his own pupils just added more of a thrill to the chase.

The game was on.


In no way was this story meant to make fun of politics or anything like that. Whether you are or are not for Obama, I seriously don't want to hear. I just figured it'd be funny to have the kids take a trip to D.C. My representation of the building was probably poor…I didn't do my homework before writing this chapter, lol! Anywho, I trust this last chapter to have cleared up any questions left over from Laments.

As always, please review!