I now present to you, the improved TS.

It's still my first fanfic, it will always be my first fanfic.

Disclaimer: For this story, and the many others that I hope to make, Twilight and it's characters don't belong to me. They belong to Stephenie Meyer. I just bend and twist the story for my amusement.


"Something's not right," I kept telling myself.

"Did anyone show interest in you?" I questioned.

"Well, yes, Tanya did." He answered smoothly.

"Did you show interest back?"

He paused, as if searching for the right response. "No."

"Edward? Are you sure?"

He paused again before grasping my hands with his cold ones and looking deep within my eyes. "Yes, love. I'm sure. She is lacking so many characteristics that only you possess. Besides, if I had any sort of attraction, do you think I would be here with you, on this bed that you so strongly object to?"

"I don't know—would you be? How would I know if you would've come back after everything that happened with us?"

"Yes, I would have come back. I wouldn't want to leave you again after what happened. I hurt you too much and I apologized. I am still apologizing. I don't think I'll ever stop. I love you and that's all that matters. Tanya, Victoria, no one, is going to get in the way of that."

"But Edwa-," he pressed his cold finger against my warm lips

"Don't worry about Tanya. I don't want to bring her up again. Go to sleep."

"Bella, love?" I looked up to see Edward was eyeing me. "What are you thinking about?"

He stared at me with his beautiful topaz eyes. I wanted nothing but to really ask him about the specifics about his past with Tanya. If I brought this matter up, no doubt he would become upset. He didn't want me to talk about it again.

I sighed and shook my head.

There had to be some way to approach this.


I looked up. He was still staring at me, concern flooding his eyes.

"Sorry, Edward, it's just that I've had a lot of things on my mind lately. It's been bugging me."

"What is it? Tell me."

"It…don't worry about it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," I smiled reassuringly, hoping he didn't figure me out.

I sighed again before redirecting my attention to my lap where my twiddling fingers sat.

Edward, who I knew was still watching me, shook his head. He knew something was up. I wasn't going to tell him. I needed to get my facts straight before anything. I was always the one to speak my mind, hell, I still am, but I needed to know what I was talking about before I just jump the gun.

I hate to be the pessimist in these types of situations, but I couldn't be optimistic unless I saw how something turned out.

All of a sudden, I felt something cold envelop around my waist. I looked up to see Edward pulling me up to sit on his lap.

"You know, if you wanted me to sit on your lap, you could've asked," I teased.

"I know, but you were deep in thought. I love watching you scrunch up your face, making little folds appear on your forehead. It looks like you're about to figure something difficult out while popping a blood vessel," he sneered.

"Well then, that wouldn't be good, because then you would prey on me."

His smiling face disappeared as he started to frown.

"Sorry, I had to do it."

"No, don't worry. It's just that, I hate living with the fact that I can kill you. It hurts too much to know that with something as effortless as picking you up, I can hurt you."

I reached up and cupped his cheek.

"Even then, I trust you to know that you have the power and the control to stop."

"I don't know. I just worry—" He was forced to stop midsentence when I pressed my lips to his. He needed to think differently. He was a pessimist like me but I knew he had the willpower.

The blood rushed from my head, and I knew if I didn't stop, I would pass out.

I backed away and looked at him.

"You know I hate when you do that."

"Do what?" I asked innocently.

"Try to get me off topic."

"It worked didn't it?"

"Yes, yes it did."

He pressed his cold lips to my forehead. Right when I was about to get my circulation back, the blood went retreated out of my head, and then I saw darkness.


As faint as it was, I knew whose mouth it came from.

I tried to respond but my voice was gone.

I tried to open my eyes, but they stayed shut and felt numb.


I felt something cold and hard press to my forehead.

I tried my best to open my eyes. I had to squint the hardest I could and lift each eyelid slowly. As my blurred vision began to clear, Edward came into view.

I blinked a view times and recaptured Edward's eyes in mine. It was then he chuckled.

"What's so funny?" I asked, deeply confused.

"Why is it that every time I kiss you, you seem to pass out on me, Bella?"

I didn't know how to respond to that. He just had that kind of effect on me, and he didn't even know it.

All of a sudden, I was hit with nausea.

I looked up at Edward, who was still looking at me with concerned eyes, and asked, "Edward, can we take a ride somewhere? I feel nauseous and I need some fresh air."

"Sure, anywhere in particular?"

I pondered all the places we could go. We couldn't go to my house because Charlie was off today, and Edward still wasn't allowed to come over. Not like that stopped him from climbing through my window, but no. We needed someplace private. A place we called "ours": the meadow.

"Let's go to our special place."

"We haven't been there lately, come to think of it. How long has it been?"

"I don't even know," I responded, trying to figure out the last time we were there.

While my mind was completely elsewhere, Edward grabbed my hand and gave it a light tug. I came out of my thinking for a short second and followed him out to his Volvo.

Edward drove his car incredibly fast as always. I still didn't get why vampires couldn't drive the normal speed limit. It wouldn't kill to slow down every once and a while.

I turned my head to the window next to me, and my thoughts went back to last night.

"Did anyone show interest in you?" I questioned.

"Well, yes, Tanya did," he answered smoothly.

"Did you show interest back?"

He paused, as if searching for the right response. "No."

He paused. If he didn't have anything for Tanya he wouldn't have paused. There was no reason why he should've paused. He was lying to me. I felt it. I was sure of myself.

Thought after thought about what he could have done with Tanya seemed to pile into my head. Fear overcame my body as I concluded that this interrogation might cause him to leave me again; and if that was what would happen, I didn't want it. I still hadn't repaired from the first impact. It would make no sense in the world to have my heart in one piece again only to go and get damaged the same way. I felt bad for Edward, I really did. He had done nothing but try to help me through this, but what he doesn't know is that, it's not enough. It will never be enough.

I wanted him to cut me open, take my heart out, and just look at the pain he's caused me. As much as it may seem like I am fully repaired and that I had entrusted in him again, the truth of the matter is that I haven't. I still cry every time he leaves to go hunting because I think he will never return to the heart that I had once again opened to him.

"Bella, we're here." I looked up from my seat to see that Edward was standing at my door, his hand awaiting mine to grasp.

I smiled and took it. Immediately after exiting the car, I was swept up bridal style as Edward agilely and swiftly ran up the hill until we reached our destination.

Gently placing me down on my feet, he walked toward the center of the meadow, where the light hit his pale skin, transforming it so it gave the illusion that diamonds were embedded within. His hair—always a dark bronze thanks to the lovely light of Forks—was now two shades lighter.

He turned to look at me and gave me my favorite crooked smile.

"Would you join me, please?" If there was one thing I loved about that man, he was so polite and he always tended to a woman's needs.

"This is going to be difficult," I whispered quietly to myself as I slowly took my first step toward Edward.