Ah~ it's finally break for me, and it feels nice to sleep in on a Monday. So, hopefully, I should update faster, but you know how it is. Anyways, thank you for those that reviewed, your points really do help me improve my writing skills, which is always a good thing.


I'm glad that I put you in a good mood, that's always one of my goals when I write humor! The other being that I don't sound completely lame- but you now how that runs. Thanks for the review!


Do they have glow in the dark candy? I just made it up at the top of my head. I suppose if you're eating candy in the dark and you spill it, it would be useful. Like at movies or something! And yes, I'm glad I'm not Meta Knight, too. Thanks for the review!


Haha, I love writing as Kirby, it let's me release my inner hyper child person- whom I'm not any other time. In Meta Knight's case, well, it's stupid mistakes that get good plots rolling- or at least semi decent ones. Thanks for reviewing!


-cheers- Thank you so much, that's a big help to my self esteem. I'm glad that you enjoyed reading the first two chapters, and I hope that you enjoy the future ones just as much. Reviews like these always keep me working hard! Thanks!

Red One 1223

I think that would be a pretty short story, all things considered. Thanks for reviewing!


I played a short trial run of Ice Climber and Kid Icarus via the trial play on SSBB, but I never would have known where they came from, if not for that. I really need to go back and play more video games some time... And yes, past experiences direct to the same conclusion, always listen to what people ask you, especially when they're known for doing dumb or destructive things. Thanks for the review!


Thank you, I'm glad you like it so far! As for the other teams, well, you'll see! ;D

Sgt. Shank

Ah, yes, true. But pairings are faint, so you probably won't even notice them. Thanks for reviewing!


Kirby getting run over by the Blue Falcon is for a later chapter, actually! ;D Thanks for the review!

Wawert's Lazy Brother

Yep, I'm trying to get down the basics without failing utterly. And Crazy Hand- who's twitching creeps me out, by the way- does show up, fortunately or unfortunately depending on how much you like, er, crazy... hands. Thanks for the review!



Walking down the hall to her room, Samus stopped at the edge of the ruckus of people shouting and arguing and most likely throwing punches at each other, once again remembering one of the many things she disliked about Smash Palace- namely, the location of her room. While it wasn't the worst possible place, it was rested adjacent to the hall monitor where Master Hand put information when he was too busy to announce it himself, and thus, every morning, there was no doubt a crowd of people looking at what the special deserts were or matches or whatever information was running across its flickering blue screen.

Pushing through the crowd to make her way to the message board, the bounty hunter blocked a few punches, threw some of her own, knocked a few people over and finally stood, arms crossed and scowling at the object of communication that made her loath her room so. "What's going on?" She asked to R.O.B, who was one of the few who didn't seem to be worried by the shoving and shouting that was going on around him. Samus knew that if anyone was informative of anything, it was Peach and her gossip grapevine, or R.O.B and his general computer logic. And, as aware of her surroundings as she was, Samus really didn't care much for what everyone else worried about, she had more things to ponder on that didn't have to do with stickers, money, trophies or meals.

"Simple really." The robot droned, "Master Hand has posted the matches for tomorrow."

"Already? For tomorrow?" She couldn't help but sound surprised. Usually there was a two days grace period before any tournament started, so having it so soon was almost unheard of. Samus gave a grim smile, Master Hand obviously wanted them to be busy, since they wouldn't notice anything amiss, and it unnerved her to no end. 'Paranoid' was one of the many adjectives that had been used to describe the armored fighter, but she always replied the same way: 'if you have the leisure to be relaxed, you have the leisure to be dead'.

"Indeed. Quite unheard of." R.O.B clicked in reply, as he whirled his arms to clasp together. "Perhaps Master Hand is too busy with something to deal with such conflicts involving the fighters? There is a ninty-three percent chance of that being the case. Odd, odd."

Of thirty-four other people, the only two that shared her paranoid nature happened to be a sadist of a robot and a guy who hid in a box. "I need some hobbies..."

Shaking this thought away, she focused on what was actually typed on the screen, inwardly growling at the small text and bright blue screen. Obviously someone hadn't thought of that color scheme very well. Out of the seventeen teams, five of them were fighting the next day, and it was a single stock battle. Samus reread the settings, not believing her eyes, and came up with the same result. Single stock battles... Another thing she wasn't used to- and she had been fighting as one of the Smashers since Master Hand had concocted the idea. Usually stock tournaments had three stock per person, never just one. That would make each fight extremely quick.

"Or extremely long." Ness offered, while blocking Ike's sword with his baseball bat.

"Indeed. This setting is most likely used to increase teamwork." The white and red machine stated. "Quite clever, if I may say so."

Before she could ponder on it further, her eyes caught exactly who was fighting, and she leaned forward to get a better look. "Damn... I don't fight until after tomorrow." She grumbled, "Who thought of these matches, anyway?"

"A random generator, obviously." Just as he was about to add on another comment, a red foot came down on his rectangular head, forcing him to the ground with a crack. A thought of if R.O.B had spare parts to fix himself crossed Samus' mind, but the idea of a storage closet filled with sadist robots creeped her out, so she quickly dismissed it. "Oh bother, I seem to have cracked my screen. Kirby, I will destroy you one day."

"Sorry, R.O.B!" The hero of Dreamland said, not sounding apologetic in the least. He attached himself to Samus' helmet, leaning forward to gaze excitedly at the screen. "Sweet! I get to fight tomorrow!" He cheered, while the space fighter only grunted, resting the urge to throw him out a window- wherever one was. "Hey, Samus, Samus!" Kirby trilled, "Who are you paired with, when are you gonna fight, can I watch?" He spewed all three questions so quickly that she made the mistake of trying to answer all three at the same time.

"Gah." She replied.

Most would have blinked and looked confused and probably would have asked her to repeat herself, but the pink ball only beamed- he probably wouldn't have been listening anyway. "Cool!" He chirped. "I saw Pikachu near the back of the crowd, I think she was arguing with Red's Charizard, but heck if I'd know. It honestly sounds like they're saying their names over and over again!"

"Not unlike how you introduce yourself..." Samus thought grimly as she recalled the meeting. The first thing she thought was what kind of world a pink, hyper marshmallow could come from when she saw the hero of Dreamland, and couldn't help but feel bad, hitting him in battle, she meant. That was before she realized how unintentionally- or maybe on purpose- evil he could be. There was much to fear from a ball that could swallow you whole. Very, very much, indeed. "You're fighting Mario and Bowser tomorrow, right? Think you'll win?"

"Of course!" He beamed. "It'll be a piece of cake! And just as delicious!" He tapped his arms against the smooth material of her helmet, "So, what about you, huuuh?" He laughed, "I can't believe that Captain Falcon and Falco are both on a team. Am I the only one who finds that hilarious?"

"With a brain capacity such as yours, that is likely." R.O.B.'s voice insulted from the floor.

Samus nodded in agreement before pushing through the crowd and to her room, dispatching Kirby from her helmet with a halfhearted swat. She knew exactly what she had to do before her fight, one of them happening to be the language problem. Lucario could talk- though he chose not to- but Pikachu couldn't, so most of the time no one knew exactly what was up. The electric mouse was cool enough, but "Pika pi" could mean several things, and she didn't exactly have the time in the middle of battle to figure it out.

As the door slid open with a hiss, several pink and black pigs spilled out in a storm of squeals and oinks, and it was so unexpected that she couldn't help but jump back and charge up her cannon all the same. Staying at Smash Palace did that to some people- made them even more paranoid than they already were. They looked like normal pigs, but there was always that small chance that they were just like those toy ferrets Snake had once made. They looked cute and cuddly, but as soon as you let your guard down...

Before she could start shooting, Toon Link- whom Samus hadn't even noticed had been in the hall- dived into the mess, lunging to grab one of the round pink animals, holding it above his head like a hard earned trophy. "Haha! Caught you at last!" The other pigs scattered, heading straight for the poor souls who were still trying to read the board, completely oblivious to the mass of Sus scrofa speeding towards them. As several of the Smashers were mowed down, Samus turned her attention back to the short, cheerier version of Link, who was twirling around in circles, his captive squealing in terror.

"Bacon tonight!" He cheered, before giving an innocent, wide-eyed glance at the look that Samus was surely sending- visor or not. "I'm joking. Really."

"Couldn't tell." She replied, once again pondering over the sanity of her fellow Smashers. "Maybe I'm not the one who needs hobbies..."

She shook the thought away. "What exactly are you going to do with it?"

Toon Link grinned, "The world shall never know!" Before he put the pig down and chased after it, waving the Master Sword over his head, "Take me to your friends! Rah! Rah!"

Samus stood for a while, not sure exactly what to do or what she had been doing previously, before mentally kicking herself. "Right, right... language... right..."

... and that's how Samus spent a good portion of her afternoon.

"Alright, Pikachu..." The bounty hunter started, feeling ridiculous for several reasons, glad that no one was here to see such a humiliating sight. Her suit, as useful as it was, lacked any sort of translator for Pokemon, which wasn't all too surprising, considering. Nonetheless, she would have thought that Red would have something of the sort, but he always talked about that bond between Trainer and Pokemon that was obviously a loud of crap. Which, as expected, didn't help her much.

So, Pikachu to English dictionary in her lap, the female Smasher struggled to figure out the basics. "Tell me, what does 'there is a fiery doom coming towards you and you should duck unless you dislike your head' translate to?" The electric rodent, sitting on her bed across from her paused, before making a number of hand gestures.

"Pikapika, pii pii, pika pika."

"Pikapika, pii pii, pika pika." She repeated, once again glad that no one was around. Samus hesitated, before leafing through the book in her lap with annoyed urgency. "Wait a second!" She snapped, shoving the book in the electric yellow rodent's face. "That means the same thing as 'it's perfectly safe and clear'! What the hell?! That's not an interchangeable phrase, you know!"

The electric type looked remorseful. "Pikapikachu."

"Either you're telling me that's not the same, or that there's several flying toothbrushes behind me." She paused, before holding the book at arms length like it had suddenly burst into flames. "I'm starting to doubt these sources... unless where you come from is really that messed up."


"Agreed, agreed..." Samus leaned backwards, throwing her feet onto the table. "So you can understand me, but I can't understand you... it's obvious who's at fault here." She straightened, causing Pikachu to raise her ears in alarm at the sudden movement. "Why don't you speak English, hm? Why didn't Master Hand program you to speak English? It sure would save a lot of trouble and misunderstanding. Do you know how infuriating it is, trying to guess what you're saying, and not knowing ninety-seven percent of the time?" The bounty hunter paused, before giving a sigh.

"Piipiipika (What is for lunch today?) is very similar to Pipiipika (Go rot in a hole somewhere). What a strange language." She said, "You know, this is why everyone thinks you have the intelligence of an every day rat. Only you're a static filled rat..." The bounty hunter trailed off, head tilted down in thought, while said electric rodent gave an exasperated 'pikapii.' "You know what? Piipikapikapii... pika (Your language is inferior)."

Her attention was diverted when she heard a muffled giggle, and the brawlers turned to the doorway, where an extremely amused princess of Hyrule stood, trying to hide her mirth behind one white gloved hand. "What's so funny?" Samus muttered, annoyed. "Can't someone utterly fail at learning a language once and a while?"

Zelda shook her head, locks of brown hair shifting at the movement. "It's just... seeing you of all people saying 'pikapii' is probably the most strangest thing I've seen- and that's saying a lot, considering." She sat down at the table in the middle of the room, picking up one of the menus that was scattered on its surface, more out of boredom than any particular interest. "So... what do you think is up with this tournament?" The brunette asked casually, blue eyes gazing up from the top of the magazine. "Suspicious, hm?"

"Correction, a guy who hides in a box, a sadist robot and a princess from some mythical land are the only people who are as paranoid as I am..."

"Yeah." Her voice is rigid with sarcasm. "So is a mini version of your hero chasing after a pig, but I see that almost every day."


"That's weird, not suspicious." Zelda replied, sighing as she put the menu down and folded her arms in front of her chest. "And Din knows that this place is filled with weird things... but they usually aren't dangerous. Toon Link chasing pigs, strange, but not dangerous. A hungry Kirby, strange, and usually very dangerous." She paused, "A trigger happy, cold bounty hunter from space trying to learn Pikachu, strange and... well, I've yet to see if its dangerous or not."

Samus scowled at the mention, "You know what? Piipiipika..."

"Pizza." Zelda replied, sounding smug as the other female Smasher flipped through her dictionary to see where she went wrong. "Which, as a matter of fact, is going to be gone if you don't head to the cafeteria soon. That's the whole reason I came up here." She stood, smoothing out the wrinkles in her highly decorative dress before walking towards the hall. At the doorway she turned, delicately grasping the frame, face slightly troubled.

"What?" The power suit wearing fighter asked, a tone of impatience hanging onto her voice.

"I really don't like the atmosphere Master Hand set up." The princess stated bluntly, "Why would he need help with anything if he's so powerful? And why Ganondorf of all people? Especially knowing his history..." She bit her lip, blue eyes narrowed with her obvious distress. "I'd recommend you keep an eye out for anything... amiss..."

"I do that already, if you haven't noticed." Samus retorted, which was, sadly, the truth. "And much good it'll do, with all of the crazy stuff that goes on around here."

The brunette shrugged, admitting the point. "Nonetheless, it will be in your best interests to keep aware. I've already asked a few other people, and Peach is working on her grapevine, so she may have something to say later. She may look dumb, but she does know how to get information."

"Interesting." Came the bounty hunter's reply, sharp with mocking. "I'd only noticed the dumb aspect."

Once again, only a small shrug. "See you downstairs."

After the princess of Hyrule disappeared down the hall, Samus leaned back, staring at the ceiling, pondering over the points that she had brought up. "What do you think, Pikachu? A conspiracy?"

"Pikapika cha..."

A sigh. "Let's just get some lunch."

So, yep, that's the chapter. The actual tourny is next chapter, for those who are waiting for the fights and outcomes. Thanks for reading! SU out!