How Orochimaru really lost his sanity…

By Rakurai-Arashi

"Why are we doing this? Why am I going along with this? Why am I talking to myself?" Orochimaru knew he was losing his mind. Not only was he talking to himself while walking down the street, he was also assisting in Jiraiya's, 'research'. He felt like such a, well he didn't know what he felt like exactly. A mix of a pervert and a baka.

"So this is what Jiraiya feels like." Orochimaru smacked himself. He was turning into a major pervert.

"I have to stop hanging out with Jiraiya!" Orochimaru looked around, people were starring. A lot. He ran.

After running for five minutes, he finally arrived at his destination. The bath house. All he had to do was a simple, survey. Orochimaru sighed and took out the notebook. Why did he agree to this? Oh yes now he remembered. Jiraiya found his stash……Of gay porn…….He was blackmailed…….Damn Jiraiya…..

Orochimaru, using all of the jonin skill he could muster, used a henge jutsu. He made himself look like a very pretty woman.

"One day, Jiraiya will pay for this. He will pay dearly." The woman/Orochimaru walked into the bath house, notebook in hand. Once in the changing area, he started taking his 'survey'.

"AA, CC, B, DD, A, DD, BB, C, B." She/Orochimaru wrote down in the notebook. She/He promptly left and let go of the jutsu. He was going to kill Jiraiya very slowly and painfully.

When he got back to the designated spot, he handed Jiraiya the notebook.

"Who was the A?"


Jiraiya gaped.


"…Yes…Don't remind me…"

Orochimaru shuddered. His eyes were being raped all over again. Jiraiya snorted and looked at the rest of the numbers. Getting Orochimaru to get women's bra sizes were a great idea. Only he could walk into a women's changing room and not die of blood loss. Using Orochimaru for research purposes were really helping him out.

"This is stupid! What do you need useless information like that for?!" Orochimaru screamed. Jiraiya sighed.

"Research Orochimaru, research."

The dark haired man was very close to summoning a snake so he could feed Jiraiya to it. Yes, that would be a good revenge. Death by giant snake. Orochimaru smacked himself again. This was getting way out of hand. Every comment he made was being taken perversely.

"So I have something else I want you to do for me…"

Orochimaru looked at Jiraiya, fear in his eyes.


"I'll need you to dress up like a woman."

Orochimaru fainted.

This is such crap. -_- Feel free to flame me. I don't care. But positive would be nice. ^_^