Blink Of An Eye
By Andie O'Neill
Genre: Angst, Romance
Pairing: Jack/Ianto, Owen/Tosh
Warning: Slash, canon character death
Summary: Blink and you'll miss it, life passes you by.
A/N: This is my first Torchwood fic so take it easy on me! :D Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood or it's characters.
He's lived a thousand lifetimes. He's fallen in love more times than he could remember. When you can't die life just seems so insignificant, it longer has meaning. A gun to his head no longer made his heart skip a beat. A gun to the head of someone he loved was the only time he felt anything, felt his gut tighten, and his heart stop. His own death left him cold. The death of someone he loved left him empty. Owen and Tosh were dead, more deaths in a long line that stretched so far back it was beyond imagination. To the rest of the world it was insignificant, but to Jack Harkness they were everything. They were his team… his responsibility. They'd both been so young. They always were. Jack knew there had been something developing between Owen and Tosh; maybe love, but they'd never gotten their chance. They died and they never even got a chance to be together. But that was Torchwood. 'Blink and you miss it, life passes you by.'
Jack knew he couldn't keep thinking about it. It wasn't healthy to dwell on death when at any moment he could lose Ianto and Gwen just as fast as he'd lost Owen and Tosh. He may not value his own life, the man that couldn't die, but he did value theirs. The time he had with them was precious. 'Blink and you miss it, life passes you by.' The words repeated over and over in his mind, words Ianto had whispered after they'd said their goodbyes. Ianto and Gwen, they wouldn't live forever. Eventually Jack would be too late, some alien would get the upper hand, or if they were extremely lucky they'd die of old age. Unconsciously he tightened his arms around Ianto, sleeping peacefully. Jack couldn't sleep. He couldn't stop thinking about Owen and Toshiko. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't stop thinking about what they missed out on. They dragged their feet. Jack had known for a long time how Toshiko felt about Owen, but since Owen's first 'death,' he'd noticed a change. They were drawing closer together, leaning on each other for support. Such a waste. They deserved to die without regrets, but he knew they were there.
Ianto groaned, eyes fluttering open, and Jack smiled. There was something sexy about watching Ianto slowly reach consciousness, the roughness in his voice, that drowsy look in his eyes. Jack immediately leaned down and kissed him, groaning as Ianto responded. Arms wrapped around his neck as Ianto deepened the kiss and good god could he kiss. Everything that weighed on his mind slowly drifted away as he was lost in Ianto's touch. Tongues sliding together in a dance as old as time, and suddenly he wanted nothing more than be as close to Ianto as he could, feel that warm body next to his. When he finally pulled away he could see Ianto was fully awake, and smiling up at him. "Can't sleep?"
Jack closed his eyes, resting his forehead against Ianto's. "Too busy watching you," he teased.
Ianto rolled his eyes, briefly kissing Jack. "If you don't want to tell me you don't have to," he whispered, stroking Jack's cheek.
In the night when it was just them it was always so much easier for them to be themselves. He did want to tell Ianto. Sometimes he wanted to tell him everything, anything. He'd been in love before. Ianto wasn't the first, and probably wouldn't be the last. The now was all they had, and Jack didn't intend on wasting it. Jack leaned forward and kissed Ianto's forehead. "I was thinking… about Owen and Tosh."
Ianto's smile slowly faded, and Jack saw the pain in his eyes. The loss was still fresh. He pulled Ianto in his arms before the other man could say a word, closing his eyes as their naked bodies were pulled tightly together. When Jack looked back into Ianto's eyes again the pain was still there, but there was also understanding. "I miss them too."
"They always die so young," he found himself whispering, and he couldn't remember the last time he'd felt quite so willing to share. Ianto had seen things the others hadn't. Jack's brother was responsible for their deaths, and a part of his past had been revealed when it should have been left buried. "They died because of me."
Ianto shook his head, and Jack wasn't surprised that the Welsh man would disagree. In fact, he supposed deep down he'd hoped Ianto would disagree. So many deaths weighed on his conscious and he wasn't sure how many more he could take before he broke down for good. The last few weeks had been unbearable. The last few days had been even worse. Sometimes he awoke with a start after a particularly bad nightmare, still expecting to be choked by dirt, what would have been his everlasting grave, forced to die and live. He'd never expected Ianto to take care of him. Jack was a big boy, he could do that himself, but he knew it felt so much better to wake up in Ianto's arms than alone in the dark. "They died saving the world. What happened wasn't your fault. You can't control what your brother did, his actions. You can only control your own. You didn't put that bullet in Toshiko, and you weren't responsible for what happened to Owen." Jack looked away, but Ianto didn't let him off that easy, forcing Jack to look at him. "It wasn't your fault." Jack knew when Ianto was lying, and he saw no deception in Ianto's eyes. There was nothing he could say, so he didn't bother. Instead he kissed Ianto, hard on the lips. He didn't want to talk anymore. Slowly his hand moved down Ianto's chest, and lower still. Ianto groaned against his lips, thrusting into his hand. "I take it we're done talking?" he asked with a smile.
Jack grinned. If there was one thing Owen and Tosh had taught him, it was to live in the moment, because he didn't know what tomorrow would bring. Life passed so quickly, and he didn't want to miss a thing. He didn't say a word, but he didn't have to. Ianto knew what he was doing. Jack didn't want to waste time in the past. He didn't want to live with more regrets. The only way to honor Owen and Tosh's memory was to live life like it'd be his last… or Ianto's. He kissed down to Ianto's throat, breathing in Ianto's musky scent and groaned with need. "We're done talking," he whispered and let everything go. He let go of the past. He let go of the future. There was only now… and there was only Ianto Jones.