Title: The Backhanded Slap

Genre: Romance/Humor

Pairings: Wolfram/Yuri

Rating: T

Summary: So we all know what happens when you're smacked on the left cheek in the Demon Kingdom. But what happens if you're hit on the right check, or even better, hit with the back of the hand on the right cheek?

AN: Yuri's POV


I didn't mean to do it, and to think this morning started out so well. Wolf did not manage somehow kick me out of bed so I woke up comfortably. I actually kept up with Conrad through most of our morning exercises. I even managed to not get into a bone crushing embrace with my adviser Günter.

Alas, things could not continue going well.

It all started before breakfast when Greta came up to me she grabbed a hold of my hand and looked up at me with pleading eyes, "Papa Yuuri?"

"Yes Greta," I asked as I smiled down at her.

"It's a nice day out…can we eat breakfast outside?" she asked, her bottom lip pouting adorably, and to make a long story short I agreed.

So there we were, all sitting at a table underneath a large oak. Gwendel and Greta were watching the chipmunks; Conrad was eating quietly while Günter went on about whatever lesson I was supposed to study today.

Also it turned out Lady Cecilie showed up sometime late last night and was busy gushing over her youngest son, and my accidental fiancé, Wolfram. I, however, was far more interested with my breakfast.

It was then when I saw it. A tiny purple bug that looked vaguely like a purple wasp. That insect was the izo that I recently learned about by Günter. According to Günter, the izo isn't a deadly bug, but the insect has enough poison to leave a person paralyzed up to forty-eight hours.

Before my mind could process what to do, my thoughts were broken by, "tch, and mother, the wimp still needs help getting off a horse."

"Not a wimp!'' I automatically growled, whipping my head around to glare at the blonde, completely forgetting about the bug.

"Is that so?" Wolfram smirked in that superior way that always gets under my skin. "Would someone who's not a wimp need help getting on and off a horse? Or how about—"

It was about then I tuned him out. I heard it all before, so why listen to it all over again. I picked up my spork and began eating my breakfast once again and going over my schedule in my head. I internally groaned…I had etiquette class all day today with Günter.

After I accidentally proposed to Wolfram, it was decided that I was to take etiquette lessons so I never accidentally do something like that ever again. I agreed, but I have been taking these classes for over a year. Sadly there is still no end in sight with the etiquette classes.

I was about to sigh when the annoying buzzing sound returned. I quickly found the source. It was once again the izo but it was flying close to Wolfram, who was still criticizing me mind you.

Now I had a choice. I could let Wolfram get stung, or I could swat the bug away from the blonde, and maybe get myself stung in the process.

It was obvious what the correct choice was, even though the bug's sting was not poisonous I could not allow it to get to Wolfram. So I reached up and tried to smack the bug away. It was like everything moved in slow motion. Wolfram leaned in closer to scold me for rushing into adventures without thinking, the bug veered off to the left. Since the bug was gone, and the angle of Wolfram's head changed, I ended up slapping Wolfram in the face.

With the back of my hand…the back of my right hand.

Time stopped. Everyone at the table grew quiet, and all eyes fell on me. I slowly look over to see Wolfram's face flushed, with what I assume is absolute fury, reaching up and touching his cheek.

Oh Shinou…I am a dead man.

The bug, however, flew away unscathed. It was if the bug's buzz was mocking me as it flew away, like the bug's goal in life was to make me infuriate the quick tempered blonde beside me.

I can't believe I was outsmarted by a bug.

"Yuuri," Conrad spoke up snapping me out of my thoughts. "You must take it back before--" whatever he was about to say died in his throat when I felt someone grab my right hand. I look down and followed the arm to see that the hand's owner was Wolfram.

"Oh your majesty!" I heard Lady Celi exclaim. "I never knew you were so bold!" She giggled and she clapped her hands enthusiastically. She then looked over at her youngest son and gushed, "And you Wolfram to accept…how wonderful!

Huh, did I do something good? I look around and notice that Gwendel looks grumpier than usual. Conrad looks relieved for some reason, and Günter looked like he was about to cry. I glance over at Wolfram who appeared to be completely calm, happy, with a pink tinge still on his cheeks.

Okay. This is just too weird. A calm Wolfram is far scarier than a furious one at times like this.

"Gwendel," Greta asked looking up at the ponytailed man with a confused look on her face. "What happened?"

Yeah Gwendel! What is going on?!

Gwendel coughed uncomfortably while Conrad chuckled and looked over at Greta. Conrad then said, with a straight look on his face, "Yuuri just asked Wolfram to Father his child, and Wolfram accepted."



That can't happen! I know it can't! We're both men! He has a…and I have a... and neither of us have a… or a--look it just can't happen! I can't have a-- it's impossible!

Am I hyperventilating? I think I'm hyperventilating!

I open my mouth to try and argue only to close it again, doing a pretty good impression of fish. I know I look stupid because Wolf is looking at me that strange way like when I tried to explain to him how the radio worked.

"Really?" Greta asked excitedly tugging on my sleeve. "I'm really going to have a baby brother or sister?!" She continued, jumping up and down excitedly in her seat. I almost don't have the heart to tell her no, and that it is impossible for a man to get pregnant. Almost.

Before I could tell her the truth I feel the hand around my wrist squeeze and Wolfram said, "Of course." He then looked at me smiling. "Right Yuuri?"

Oh Wolfram. Why did you lie to Greta?

"Oh Heika!" Günter wailed throwing himself on the table. "I didn't know you jumped so far ahead in your etiquette studies, or read ahead in your anatomy classes."

"Anatomy classes?" I dumbly parroted. I never saw the point in that class, after all I know how my body works, so I barely paid attention when Günter went over them.

"Yes." Conrad answered for Günter…who seemed a little preoccupied wailing at the moment. "I told him that demons and half demons lost certain abilities in your world. That is because earth is a human territory, and lack of maryoku or any other magical powers." Conrad explained calmly while I once again resumed doing an impression of a goldfish.

Certain abilities? Like…

I suddenly don't feel so well.

"Yuuri are you okay?" Wolfram demanded. When I didn't respond I felt him start to rub my back. "Don't tell me you're coming down with something?"

"Oh look at how caring my Wolfram can be!" Lady Celi gushed, hugging an equally excited Greta. "He's going to be a great father, don't you think?" She giggled while Greta nodded her head enthusiastically.

Oh Shinou…I am a dead man.


This was originally supposed to be a one shot, but I think I'll continue it. I'd like to go into more depth about getting backhanded, other traditions, and etc.

Anyways, Review if you like the story. Concrit welcome.