Author's Note: After having a fairly serious case of writers' block on my CSI stories, I watched the entire run of United States of Tara online this weekend, and was inspired to write this short oneshot.
Normal disclaimer, none of this is mine, all of it belongs to the people who created them, and so on. The bolded quotes are from the episode itself, and the title and the italicized quote are from "Black Magic Woman" by Santana.
Spoilers through episode eleven, specifically the last three episodes, but any of the series is fair game. If you haven't seen episode eleven, and don't care to be spoiled, walk away. I won't mind. Really.
"I feel really bad about what happened."
Well, to be frank, I don't. I feel really bad that you feel really bad, Jason, but it is sort of a natural thing, like two forces being drawn together with a magnet. When two people feel...things...for each other on a level beyond friendship, they kiss. And, well, do other things if things move along the right path at the right speed with the right timing, but kissing is a good start. A very good start, at that.
"I even talked to my dad about it."
He talked to his dad? This couldn't be good. Nothing good comes out of talking to your parents about anything. Well, more accurately, nothing good could come out of the person you kissed -- no, he kissed you too -- talking to his extremely religious, he's a pastor, for crying out loud, father about what happened between you two. Does he now think that we're going to be the embodiment of the AIDS patients in Hell from that Hell House I endured for the time it would give us together, for our one -- no, two -- blissful, albeit short-lived, kisses? Wait, don't get ahead of yourself. What does he mean by "it"? Was this about him kissing T in the shed? Damn, I knew my mother would...he's still talking. Focus, man, focus. Maybe this isn't as bad as you think it is.
"Listen, I think you're the most awesome kid in school."
Awesome. Awesome. That's what you say about someone when you don't know them well enough to give a more meaningful comment. He may as well have just written "Have a good summer," in my school yearbook, maybe added an exclamation mark or, if he was really into it, change "good" to "great," for all the meaning that was there.
"Remember me when you win your Oscar, okay?"
Jason hesitated! He didn't want to say this! Oh, if only I could get inside of his mind, find out what his father said, what his father was making him do. When I win an Oscar, standing on the stage of the Kodak Theatre, I'll thank everyone who's ever inspired me to follow my dreams. He'll be the top of the list -- no, my parents and Kate would come first. And besides, if I'm a hotshot Hollywood star, who says I'd even remember him? No, I'd remember him. How could I forget him?
He reached in to give me a hug, and I was so startled, I didn't have a chance to react. How would I even begin to react? Jason had always had the ability to render me completely speechless without even attempting to do so. This wasn't the first time I had found myself lacking the right words to say when he was involved, nor would it be the last. I caught my breath, mentally searching for something, anything, to say, to have him come back to me, explain what was going on.
Then he walked away, and I was left standing there in the middle of the hallway, still feeling his arms wrapped around me, and I was confused about the abruptness of what had just transpired between us. I hate being confused. I wanted to run down the hallway after him, begging and pleading on my knees for us to talk it out, rationally, over coffee, after school. Maybe not coffee, if that wasn't his cup of tea, but definitely something tasty and drinkable that can be purchased and consumed while two people have a serious talk, man to man. I found, instead, that my feet seemed to be glued to the ground, and though I began to open my mouth to speak, no words would come out.
The ringing of the bell for class brought me back down to reality. I'd have my opportunity to unravel my thoughts when I got home. With any luck, I'd be able to have some time alone. Just have to make it through the rest of the day. That shouldn't be too bad. Yeah...right. As I walked to my next class, I thought back over the past few weeks with us. There was an us, right? It all kept coming back to two things: I was obsessed with Jason. And, there was a really, really good chance that he was into me too, and for whatever reason -- probably his father -- it wasn't going to work out between us. Damn it.
"Yes, you got your spell on me baby, turning my heart into stone. I need you so bad...I can't leave you alone."