A/N: The first one-shot. This is from my story, My Jasper. A Jasper/Leah fic. Anyone new will have to read that first before this. Or you'll be totally lost. In any case, this isn't following any particular plot. More like random moments in Rosella's growing up stages. I hope it's good. Flames ignored. Criticism accepted.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the twilight characters. I never will. All of it is Stephenie Meyer's.
One lesson you should always know and trust when raising a kid...expect the unexpected. It never fails you. Trust me, I would know. Rosella turned out to be the most unpredictable kid I'd ever met. She could wreak terror on the entire household one day and be a complete angel the next and yet, I wouldn't trade her for the world. She got herself into some pretty insane situations. Like now, for instance. I stared at my daughter as she sat in the middle of the bathroom wrapped from head to toe in toilet paper.
"Baby? What are you doing?" I asked, not quite sure of the scene in front of me. I had to wonder how she accompished some things.
Rosella was now four years old. She still had a lot of her baby fat, making her seem like such a tiny girl still. When you talked to her, however, she seemed rather mature for her age, save when she messed up a word which Jasper often corrected. Though, I would do well to remember she was still just a baby, especially for conditions like this one.
"I'm a mummy back from the dead, Mama," she smiled happily. "Uncle Emmett let me watch those movies you said aren't for little kids. You know? The scary ones."
Note to self 1: Emmett can no longer babysit. He allows her to watch horror movies and she either acts them out or has nightmares.
"Did he now?" I rubbed my face tiredly. Only Emmett. "Toilet paper isn't really meant to be wrapped around you like this, sweetheart. It more of a one-time use material for other areas."
"But I wanted to be a mummy," she looked all sad. I hated this look and I knew Jasper did, too. Every time he saw it, he was horrified. He wouldn't stop worrying until he got her to smile again without the use of his empath gifts.
"Tell you what," I beeped her nose. "When Halloween comes around, we'll dress you up as a mummy. You'll be so scary. We can even play a prank on Uncle Emmett."
"Really? Yay!" she cheered. "Can we scare daddy, too?"
"We can try," I giggled. Maybe I could get Jasper to pretend he was scared. It was too hard to pull one over on him. Believe me, I've tried for my own amusement. It doesn't happen and you merely guarantee a prank in return. Jasper was clever in those areas. "Let's get downstairs. Jacob, Quil, Uncle Seth and Embry just got here for dinner so you should go see them."
The guys were over for dinner. Esme was apparently cooking something new and since everything she made always turned out unnaturally delectable, no one turned down the invitation. The way to a werewolf's heart, is through their stomachs.
I knew the main reason Jacob was here was because Renesmee was coming home from a hunting trip with Edward and Nikolai in a little while. That girl was almost full grown and looked around sixteen. Gorgeous sixteen. There was nothing romantic about her and Jake's imprint at the moment and I doubt Edward could handle that just yet. They were just best friends for now. The drama that was to come when it was no longer so, would prove to be quite a show.
"Embry!" Rosella sped out of the bathroom and down the staircase. Their bond grew stronger with every passing day. I was grateful for the imprint because I had a general idea of how Embry would feel about Rosella when she was older. Jasper did, too, but it didn't change how he felt about letting her go one day. We would deal with that when it came. At least he got along with Embry for the most part.
As I reached the last step, I saw Baby telling Embry all about how she was going to be a mummy for Halloween and scare everybody. My eyes traveled over to Emmett who glanced at Rosella and then back at me. He shrugged innocently from his spot near Jacob and I shook a finger at him while going to sit with Jasper on the couch. He knew exactly what he'd done and even so, he sat there looking like he'd done nothing wrong. One of these days, I was really gonna pummel him, screw the consequences.
"Where was she?" Jasper asked me.
"In the bathroom, wrapped in toilet paper," I replied. "Because someone let her watch a horror movie about mummies."
"Emmett," Jasper scowled. "I had a hard enough time convincing her that Jared and Sam weren't zombies from the last movie you let her watch."
Oh, that had been good. We had gone to visit Sam and Emily one morning and it seemed both Jared and he had been up late patrolling. When they answered the door, Rosella screamed 'Zombie' and knocked over some signs and a fence trying to run away in terror. It was true. They both looked terrible and evil-looking. Apparently beauty sleep didn't help. If I was her age, I like to believe I would have done the same thing. After an ice cream and a lot of convincing from Jasper, she'd gone back to apologize to them.
I could only imagine what would happen if she saw a horror movie on vampires or werewolves.
Note to self 2: If Emmett must baby sit in dire situation, remove all vampiric and lycanthrope-styled horror movies from house...Forget it. Remove all horror movies in the process.
"Sorry," Emmett apologized with no hint of sincerity. "But she only got nightmares once."
"I'm not surprised!" I scowled horribly this time. "It was about clowns. She hates clowns! Please, just save the horror for when she's older."
"Fine," he pouted. Yeah, so not a truthful answer. Rosella walked into the room with a little pink lollipop.
"Where'd you get that?" I asked.
"Embry gave it to me," she told me as she licked her lips. I wasn't worried about her spoiling her dinner. Rosella was a bottomless pit. "It tastes like strawburries."
"Strawberries, Rosella," Jasper corrected calmly.
"Okay, Daddy," she patted his knee. I smiled and saw Jacob looking at the clock impatiently with a somber expression. He'd been moping around ever since they left three days ago and now, he'd bother us with his squirming until they got back.
"Smell that, Rosella? Smells like needy," I smirked and Jacob glared at me.
"Shut up," he growled, his expression darkening all the more.
"Lighten up. She'll be home before you know it," I told him. Rosella cocked her head like a puppy.
"Don't be sad, Joke. Here. Have some of my sucker." She held it out to him.
"No thanks, kid," Jacob sunk into his seat. "And you know my name is Jake, not Joke."
"Uncle Edward calls you 'Joke'," she said. Emmett and Jasper began snickering. Jacob's eyes narrowed.
"I have no idea why he would do that...what else does he say?" he asked suspiciously. Edward liked Jacob just fine. It was the imprint that got to him, thus the continuation of their snide insults every now and then. I did recall Edward complaining about Jacob to Bella and calling him Joke instead of Jake.
"He says you're stinky," Rosella shrugged her tiny shoulders. "But you smell like my Embry to me and he isn't stinky." I giggled.
"Trust me, sweetheart, he has his moments," I told her.
"Thank you, Leah," Embry entered the living room with Quil while giving me a rude gesture since Rosella wasn't looking. As she turned to run back to him, I returned it with one of my own.
"What wonderful emotions," Jasper rubbed his temples. I could only imagine. With my humor, Jake's doom and gloom, Embry's annoyance and Emmett's mischief, I bet it was one of the more unfortunate moments Jasper had to deal with since coming from the South. Though, I had a feeling being in a room with hormonal women was even worse.
"Sorry, Jazzy," I kissed his cheek. "I'm gonna go check on Esme and help her with the food if she needs it."
I found Esme getting Seth to try the new dish she'd made. Ever since the wolves came into Esme's life, she was able to cook and try all sorts of food on us. Seth was her usual tester and there hadn't been a thing he didn't like, then again, he wasn't all that picky. I snuck behind him and grabbed a bit for myself. It looked like chicken breast with some weird sauce. I took a bite and my mouth began to sing. Vampires might not eat but they sure can cook.
"What do you two think?" she asked hopefully.
"Delicious, Esme," I told her.
"Fantastic," Seth nodded.
"Good," she said happily. "I was hoping it would turn out well. Everything's ready for the wolves and Rosella. I doubt Renesmee will eat anything since she just came back from hunting."
That and she wasn't very fond of human food. Thankfully, Rosella never did develope a taste for blood. Can we say, ewwww?
"I'll get a plate for Baby," I offered. "She's hungry."
"She always is," Seth responded.
"Rosella, come and eat!" I called and as I turned around, I saw her already in her seat while Embry, Quil and Jake began to serve themselves. Jasper and Renesmee had also joined us and I looked at Esme. "Thank you for making all this, Esme. We love it."
"It was my pleasure, Leah, dear," she said, always happy to take care of those she saw as her own children. I gave Rosella her plate.
"Can I have some tatoes, too, Mommy?" she asked me.
"Potatoes, Rosella," Jasper said gently. I smiled but paused as Rosella looked at him with a geniunely quizzical expression, her big blue eyes completely puzzled.
"Po-carrots, too, daddy?"
Jasper suddenly grinned widely and kissed her cheek.
"Just potatoes, little wolf."
"Okay, daddy." I gave her some mashed potatoes, ruffled her dark hair and then sat by Jasper contentedly. "Oh, Mommy? Daddy?"
"Yes, Baby?" I looked at her.
"...Can dolls come to life?" she asked. I choked on my food.
"Dolls don't come to life, little wolf," Jasper said gently.
"What makes you ask that?" I raised my eyebrows and those at the table took this turn of events with interest. I had a feeling I already knew the answer.
"Well, Uncle Emmett put on this movie the other night and--" she began and I scowled. Jasper let out a hiss.
"Emmett!" My shout was followed by the sound of someone escaping out the front door. Oh, he'd better run. He was not getting away with this, not this time. I stomped toward the door and prepared to phase.
"Mommy seems really angry." Rosella sounded worried. "She won't hurt Uncle Emmett, will she, Daddy?"
"Not too bad," Jasper replied, without really caring his brother was about to be demolished. Family love runs deep in the Cullens.
"Your mother tends to mad a lot, kid," Jacob explained. "Get used to it."
"In any case," Jasper continued. "She'll be back as soon as she's finished with your uncle." That's for sure. I shot off after the massive vampire and didn't look back.
Note to self 3: Do not allow Emmett to baby sit under any circumstances.
A/N: Bad Emmett. If I had a doll that came to life...I think I would die on the spot out of fear. If it was a plush, maybe not, but dolls are so creepy. 'Mama! Mama! I'm a gonna eatchu!' Scary! Puppets, too. Shame on me for watching a horror movie on that stuff last night...it was so cool! XD
There will be maybe two more one-shots before the big sequel comes. Ooooh. Now. Tell me what you think. I love reviews. They are my muse. My inspiration to keep going. I don't use spell check so tell me what you see. You can already see it wasn't based on anything in particular. Just a random moment, as I said, in the upper author's note. (Points up) Review!