Twelve At A Table

Hello there.

It's been a while since I've seen a new face here. Normal kinds of people rarely swing by my joint, so it's always a pleasure to see a fresh face around these parts. After all, my pub IS in the seedier parts of Twilight Town, hahaha… So get yourself a seat, kiddo, and order something, yeah?

You're not hungry? How about a drink, then? No? What do you mean, you're not here to order anything? You must be a mile out of your mind if you think I'll let you leave without ordering anything, kiddo!

What was that again? Speak up, kid – my ears aren't what they used to be anymore. Hmm… So that's what you came here to 'order'. I seldom get these requests, but alright. Come back in about… three hours. Then you'll get what you want.

xxx

So you actually came back, huh? Good for you. Now just take a seat in that corner, and listen carefully to me. I ain't gonna repeat myself, and you sure as Hell ain't gonna be getting no second chances at this. It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to get me talking about them, and whaddaya know? Here they come, right through the front door.

Hang on a bit… Oy, Tony! We've got another case of special orders here! You know what to do… There, now that Tony's tending to them, we can chat a little.

That one there with the long silver hair, he's Xemnas, Number One. The Boss Man. And yes, his name can be rearranged into a most amusing word – just don't let him hear you speak the 'M-word' in his presence. Somebody once called him with that word to his face, and… Suffice to say, a matchbox was more than enough room for what was left of him.

Over there, the blue-haired one. Yes, the weirdo with the cross-shaped scar on his forehead. That's Saix, Number Seven. Don't stare at him! The bugger's gonna come over and smash your head through the table, that's why! This fella's a SAVAGE creature, especially on moonlight nights, so the stories say… And they also say he's queer for ol' Xemnas, but who am I to say anything?

Ah, the Dynamic Duo. Vexen and Zexion, Numbers Four and Six respectively. They're the Organization's resident geek and nerd, in that order. Vexen's an old man who spends too much time in his laboratory, and probably gets more kicks out of analyzing the chemical composition of his liquor rather than from drinking it. Strangely enough, he never has ice in his drinks, but when we collect the glasses, his is icy-cold. Zexion, on the other hand… He's a silent one, and you'll never see him without that huge book on his person. Why does he carry a book, huh? I'll say this much – two sheets of paper are much deadlier than a hundred steel blades when you give it to him. And one more thing about Zexion… He's a total fruit. Yes, he's got the hots for Number Nine. We'll get to him, so don't worry.

See that quiet mass of muscle? That's Lexaeus, Number Five. He never says or drinks much, and always sits in the same seat every time he's here. The other Organization members may change their seats now and then, but he sits THERE. Right there on that little chair with the ripped stuffing. For heck's sake, don't ask me why! How would I know? And I bet it would surprise you if I told you that he often feeds stray dogs and cats? Yes, not all the Organization's members are homicidal maniacs…

That one with the dreadlocks, the faggoty hairstyle. You see 'im? Good, 'cause that's Xaldin, Number Three. No one messes with him, and no one talks to him, either. He's a tough bastard, and if you fuck with him, you'll end up on the wall with a pin through you like a butterfly on display. He deals in lances, swords, and other sharp things, so it's best to keep out his way.

Speaking of dangerous objects, Number Two's another interesting, but hazardous fellow. Yes, Xigbar's a weirdo with a pirate wannabe complex, methinks. No, I don't think anyone's ever seen WHAT's under that eye-patch… And see that wicked-looking pistol at his hip? Ain't the only one he's got, and sure as shit ain't the only one he could kill you with. That hole in the wall over there? Next to the stuffed zaghnol head? Xigbar put it there three weeks ago.

Ah, here they are – the Organization's more colorful members. Numbers Eight through Twelve, yes sir. Axel, Demyx, Luxord, Marluxia, and Larxene. I bet it would interest you that all of them were inducted into the Organization at the same time, yeah? Indeed, all five of them came from the same world, after the Heartless arrived there.

Axel, the flaming redhead. Number Eight, if I remember correctly. He's a pyromaniac, but a nice enough guy once you get to know him. I still wonder how he managed to set that table on fire just last Christmas, using nothing but a bottle of Gysahl liquor. That stuff is safe for CHOCOBOS to drink, for cryin' out loud!

Number Nine's the blond kid. Yeah, the innocent-looking one. Don't let the good looks and boyish face fool you though – he'll smile at you, say hello, and snap your neck once you've turned your neck on him, and he's the Organization's resident nymphomaniac, too. I betcha that he's bedded Numbers Eight through Twelve, and not to forget Number Six. Demyx knows how to turn on the charm, and also how to jump into a dogfight, if he has to. Very dangerous guy, but he generally prefers to avoid confrontations, and let some else do the fighting…

The bearded guy dealing out the cards? Luxord, Number Ten. Loves rum and card games. NEVER play against Luxord in a card game. Why? You'll walk out of here owing him all the money you've ever earned and your first-born child to boot, that's why. He never loses in cards, and anyone who tries to cheat their way to the win… I'm sure getting your throat slit with the ace you hid in your sleeve would not be a pleasant experience, yes?

Ah, the only reasonably straight couple in the Organization; Marluxia and Larxene. Numbers Eleven and Twelve, respectively. Marluxia is the guy with the pink-

Yes, his hair is pink. And yes again, it's his natural color.

How do I know? Well, three years ago, during a Christmas drinking session, he and Larxene tried to get cuddly in my broom closet.

Have to agree with you there - it was an eye-opening experience. That woman could probably suck a golf ball through a straw!

And yes, Larxene's bangs are also natural - heck, all the hair in the Organization is natural! I wish I ran their regular hairdresser's shop...

Oh, by the way, I almost forgot... Larxene has these nifty lil' blades hidden all over her black coat, and Marluxia... Well, I've never seen him draw a weapon before...

So there you have it, boy. Organization Thirteen, and all of them are right there, except for Roxas. He's a kiddo, and wouldn't be drinking here, anyways... But you aren't that young, so do you want a stiff drink? No?

Ah, Mr. Xemnas... Such a pleasure to meet you...

Yes, this lad here has been most curious indeed about how your Organization is like... So will he do?

YUCK! A simple 'Yes' would have sufficed, Mr. Xemnas! No need to be turning him into a Nobody right he- Ah, but thank you, Mr. Xemnas... Yup, five thousand munny - that's the amount.

Always a pleasure helping you to get specimens, sir. I am enriched by your patronage...

END