Author's Note: Rating: PG. There are a lot of things we don't know about Lex's childhood, especially his mother who is deceased by the beginning of "Smallville". I had to come up with a name so I am currently using Lauren as his mother's name (seems like Smallville likes alliteration, especially with the Ls). I'd like to think that if Lionel is the force of evil in Lex's life, she must have been the good side for him to have such potential. The title comes from the idea that things were left unfinished between Lex and his mother when she died. Check out my other stories at:


by Angelina

Somewhere in a hidden memory

Images float before my eyes

~ Loreena McKennitt, "All Souls Night" ~

The wind whistled outside the mullioned windows, minute cracks in the ancient stone walls creaking with the storm. A lone man stood gazing out the glass portal, his lithe frame leaning against the deeply stained wood. He shivered slightly, ignoring the cold air seeping in around the tiny holes in the window sealant as it chilled the naked skin of his chest. All he wore were black satin pajama bottoms, his bare toes curling into the lush carpeting upon the wooden floor. The clouds rumbled by, giving brief glimpses of the cold winter moon before hiding it once again. From his window, the garden was visible. He had stayed in this room as long as he could remember whenever he visited the house on holiday. Now it was his permanent least for the time being, until his father decided to send him elsewhere.

A soft knock at the door caused him to fall out of his reverie. When he didn't bother to answer the knocker, a couple of seconds later the door opened. Light from the hallway filtered in around the figure at the door, the illumination creating the illusion of a seraphic presence. His visitor glided into his bedroom, his retreat from the world, and closed the door silently. Even in the dim light of the darkened room, he was able to make out one of the only people he would ever have allowed to disturb him in such a manner. The voice was melodically feminine as it pierced the silence he was so fond of at the moment. "Lex, are you okay?" She came to stand in front of him, taking stock in his carefully non-responsive features. When he didn't answer her right away, she continued as she reached out to touch his pale cheek. "You know how your father gets sometimes. He'll cool down in a little while."

Lex gazed down at the diminutive woman before him. As a rule, he didn't like people touching him, but she was different. Her caress was cool and soothing, a balm to his wounded soul. He flinched imperceptibly when her fingertips came in contact with the fierce beginnings of an already swelling bruise, a gift from his pater familias once good old Lionel found out about his most recent dismissal from prep school. Lex had refused for her to get involved, fearing for her safety and peace of mind. Always eerie was the ability to look at her and see a mirror image of himself, their coloring and facial features virtually identical. A cloud of wavy auburn hair only beginning to see stray strands of gray fell past her shoulders, a bittersweet reminder of what he himself had lost on that misbegotten outing. Not that he could have ever blamed her for any of it. Most of time his baldness didn't even faze him anymore, only a callus comment from a fellow student or the pity-filled gaze of his father at holiday visits could bring the anger and aching back to the forefront of his consciousness. "Mom, don't do this." His voice almost cracked with emotion, lending credence to his deceptively young age. "I'll be all right." He shied away from her hand, belatedly hoping she wouldn't notice the shiner he would have in the morning. He thought wrong.

"Do you want me to have someone get you something for your eye?" Concern was evident in her voice. He shook his head, a little more violently than he should have because the ache from the blow he sustained coursed through his whole face. She moved to sit down on the window seat, bringing her robe tighter around her body to ward off the chill. Lauren Luthor patted the upholstered seat next to her, indicating for her son to sit down. Lex reluctantly planted his body stiffly, not wanting to alienate his mother as well. "I hate to say this, Lex, but you are getting to be more like your father everyday. I know you don't like hearing that, but I think you have gotten some of his good traits along with his stubbornness."

"Mom," Lex started to admonish her, but she continued, waving him off.

"All I wanted was for you and your father to get along, do things together." Lex thought on what she said, and all he could come up with was the fiasco in a cornfield when he was nine. Look how things turned out: his dad thought him a freak on top of everything else. But he didn't dare voice his thoughts to his mother; she had beaten herself up over it enough through the years. "Believe it or not, Lex, your father really does love his own way."

"Yeah, well he's got a great way of showing it," Lex shot back, instantly regretting the vicious sarcasm when he saw his mother flinch. Lex stood up and turn to gaze out the window once again.

"Alexander Joseph Luthor, I hate it when you do that."

"Do what?"

"Freeze me out. Act like everything that's happened doesn't matter. I don't think I deserve that." She reached out and placed her hand upon his arm. Lex's steel blue eyes widened for a brief moment before his control snapped back into place. Her voice was so low, he had to strain to hear her. Unshed tears glittered in her eyes as she spoke. "Lex, I love you. You have a brilliant mind and a very strong can use them for good if you set your mind to it. Don't let your father keep you from the good things in life." Her voice hitched as she continued, "Don't ever let him make you believe you are less than you really are. Your life won't be worth living if you do that."

It dawned upon the young man that his mother was speaking from more than just her heart, she was relating her experience married to Lionel Luthor. He had been wallowing in his own jealousy and pain for so many years, he had failed to see the irreparable damage that his father's actions had wreaked upon his mother. He knelt down beside, complete acquiescence to her caring touch. His head came to rest upon her lap, her hands gently stroking his hairless head. A quiet sigh slipped from his lips, relishing the role his mother played in his life, never understanding how disconsolate it would be if she was gone.

He fell asleep there, with the smooth caresses and the warmth of his mother's love.

**************************************************************************** ******

Next thing he knew he felt the sunlight streaming in through a window above him, the warmth heating his skin. His head rested upon the dark material of the cushions, his fingers curled into the velvety soft texture. He gazed blearily around the room, recognizing it as a place he hadn't been to since he was sixteen years old. Damn it all, he had been sleepwalking again. It had held too many horrible memories for him when he returned to the mansion for good, so he had his own bedroom set up in another one of the suites.

God, the had felt so real. But at least for one night, he had been able to sleep the whole night through.

Thanks, Mom.