Once again sorry that this has taken so long to update but I've been having issues with my computer, which I am sure is from the Stone Age, and I've been sick as a dog. All in all things ain't great at the moment.


Here it is. The last chapter, told ya it was a short one.

The song used in this chapter is called Fallen and it's by Sarah McLachlan, most of you will probably know it, those who don't look it up on youtube or something, its awesome. I based this story around the song so felt it was only appropriate to use it in this final chapter. Originally I had planned on using it throughout this story but I went with this idea instead.

Disclaimer: Not mine. Neither are the lyrics (which are in bold italics.)

Chapter 5

6 months later

Olivia was stood waiting in the relative's room. She hated hospitals of any kind but this one especially, even with it being as nice as it was, her reason being because it was and had been home to Elliot for the last six months. Ever since the night at his apartment

It was only thanks to Fin's good aim that things had turned out how they did. Fin had shot, hitting Elliot in the shoulder, causing him to release her and hit the deck. His gun had gone off but no one else had been hurt, luckily. He'd been badly injured but from what she had been told had recovered quickly, her recovery, however, hadn't been quite so quick, but she was okay now.

Now she stood waiting, nervous as a kid on their first day of school. She hadn't seen him since the time in his apartment and she sure as hell never wanted to see him like that again ever. The others, who had seen him, had told her about how he was but she still didn't know what to expect.

"Miss Benson," a voice suddenly said from behind her.

Olivia spun around to face the door. She watched as the nurse who had spoken to her stepped aside, there, stood behind her, was Elliot.

Olivia couldn't help but stare at him, speechless. Elliot could only stare sheepishly back at her.

"I'll leave you two have some time to talk." The nurse said, "You've got 90 minutes Elliot then I want you back in your room." She warned.

Elliot just glanced at her and nodded, accepting the terms of the visit.

With that, the nurse walked out, leaving them both alone. For a minute they were both just stood, silently. Then, Elliot spoke, "Do you want to take a walk?" he asked Olivia.

Heaven bent to take my hand
And lead me through the fire

She just half smiled and nodded, not yet knowing what to say to him, even if she had planned it out before hand and did have like a million things that she wanted to ask him.

Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight

- - - - - -

Elliot and Olivia strode silently along, side by side, almost close enough to be touching but neither of them daring enough to actually close the small gap.

Finally, unable to take the silence any longer, Olivia spoke up. "Why have you finally agreed to see me, I mean, I've been sending visitation requests to you for months? What made you change your mind?" she asked.

Truth be told I've tried my best
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than I could bear

Elliot, who was seemingly finding his feet very interesting, didn't answer her. Instead he studied his feet even further. He wasn't ignoring her, but he also wasn't about to answer her either. "You look well." he said to her.

Olivia just nodded. Of course she looked well to him. Last time he had seen her she was battered and bruised and covered in blood, and all thanks to him. But really, she felt anything but well.

Deciding to copy what he had done, she quickly changed the subject. "This is a nice place." she said.

"Sure, it's not too bad for a place full of crazy people. First class Looney bin." he said sarcastically.

"Elliot, you're not crazy and this isn't a Looney bin." Olivia reminded him.

"Yeah, so the others have told me." he said. "It's a place for me to rest and get the counseling I need to allow me to play a safe and positive role in society again." he said, obviously quoting what he had been told too many times.

"Elliot, you're not crazy." Olivia said again, more firmly.

"Yeah, you're right, only sane people beat and shoot their partners." he said before striding off ahead off her.

Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

Olivia quickened her pace to reach him again. "Elliot, you did what you did because you were drunk and you were grieving."

"How can you make excuses for me, Liv? What I did to you was unimaginable. For that I deserve to be here."

"Yeah, what you did was unimaginable, but you couldn't help yourself."

By this point they had stopped talking and were face to face with one and other. "How can you forgive and forget after what I did to you?" he asked her, looking into her amazingly brown eyes, eyes that not so long ago it seemed he had looked into and seen filled with fear and pain…that he had caused.

"I haven't forgotten, I'll never forget, but I have learnt to forgive you. El, the only family I ever had was my mother and well, we both know how that relationship was, but I was still so lost when she died. So I could only imagine what it must have felt like to have lost your entire family at once… family that actually did love you." she said.

We all begin with good intent
Love was raw and young
We believed that we could change ourselves
The past could be undone
But we carry on our backs the burden
Time always reveals
The lonely light of morning
The wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
That I have held so dear.

"Liv, I am so, so very sorry for what I did to you. There isn't a moment that goes by that I don't think about the shit that I put you through and I hate myself for what I did. You may have forgiven me but I will never forgive myself for what I did to you." he said still looking into her eyes. He was trying to show her just how much he truly meant his words.

I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

"Elliot, it was in the past. You're never gonna recover if you can't move on. You're not a bad person. You're not an evil person. You wanna know what your problem is? You're too hard on yourself. You hold every emotion in till they literally erupt from you." she said.

Elliot knew she was right. "That's what this place is trying to teach me to do. Let things go before they turn to boiling hot larva and destroy everything around me. It's just hard, Liv. My whole life I was taught to be strong. My father wouldn't let me show emotion because that was weakness. If I showed weakness then I was nothing. Then I met Kathy, the kids came along, and I had to be strong for them…"

"And who was being strong for you?" she asked

Heaven bent to take my hand
Nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to those I thought were friends
To everyone I know
Oh they turned their heads embarrassed
Pretend that they don't see
But it's one missed step
You'll slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed

Elliot just looked at her. He didn't have an answer for that. He turned slowly, spotting a bench. He went and sat down on it. Olivia walked over and sat down next to him. She watched as he lowered his head and covered his face with his hands.

When she knew for sure that he was in fact crying she reached out and placed her hand lightly on his back, slowly and softly rubbing soothing circles. Elliot sat up and turned to face her before quickly wrapping his arms around her waist, burying his face against her chest and letting it all go.

Olivia was more than shocked for a minute, but unable to stop herself she wrapped her arms around him and rested her chin on his head and held him and just let him do what he had needed to do for as long as she could remember and that was to be human, to cry, to show vulnerability and not give a damn. It broke her heart to see it but she knew it was indeed the best thing for him.

"Liv, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry to you, I'm sorry to Kathy, I'm sorry to my kids and to everyone else." he cried.

"We know." she said, fighting back her own tears.

- - - - - -

The walk back to the relative's room was filled with chatter about goings on at the precinct, things like Fin and Munch's squabbling, Munch's conspiracy theories, Elliot's part time replacement who had the organization skills of a two year old.

They both couldn't help but think that the 90 minutes had just flown by, neither really wanted to leave the other, but they both knew Elliot still had a way to go.

"So," Olivia began, "Same time next week?"

Elliot nodded and smiled, it was the first time she had seen him smile and look like he meant it is what seemed like forever, it made her smile too. "I'd like that. Maybe you could sneak me in some donuts too. Not only do they watch your sanity in this place but your diet too."

Olivia just laughed. "Okay." she said.

They both stood there, looking at one and other till it started to become a little awkward. "Okay, well I should go other wise they may send out a search party looking for you." Olivia said.

"Yeah, I guess." Elliot replied.

Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

Olivia smiled and nodded. "Okay, well I'll see you next week." she said, taking a slow step back.

"You promise?" Elliot asked.

"I promise." she told him.

Elliot stepped forward and once again wrapped his arms around her and she held him back once more.

"Thanks." he said softly to her.

"Anytime partner." she said back to him.

The end

Thanks so much for reading.

I would just like to say I'm genuinely sorry about the lengthy updates, and that you guys are all really awesome for sticking this out and still taking the time to review. I genuinely appreciate it.

One last review would really make my day and make me feel heaps better.