Ascending with aerophobia


"Just touch me, okay?" The words made him feel like he was begging and he hated it. Dean had never been in this position before. He had always known what he wanted, and how to get it. In any sexual situation, he was used to having the upper hand. When it came to sex, what had ever made him feel uncomfortable? It wasn't as much the physical touch, although it was something entirely different touching a man. More the emotional hold Castiel had on him.

"Like this?" Castiel let his fingers trail down the smooth skin on Dean's stomach.

The oddly clumsy effort made Dean feel more in control of the situation. The whole situation felt weird. He wanted it, but he didn't know how to let go. How to just get on with the fucking, without having to analyze every single thing they both did.

He closed his eyes, and inhaled deeply. Then he thought to himself; to hell with it!

Castiel's eyes widened in surprise as Dean leaned in on him, cradling his face with the strong hands, and kissing him deeply. He could feel the vaguely sweet taste of a tongue fondling his own. It was almost too much for him; hard pushy lips, the breathing into his mouth, and the wet warm sensation of his tongue, combined with the whimpering sounds from the back of Dean's throat. With every bite, and every sucking motion, Dean almost moaned with pleasure. They were touching each other like if there was no tomorrow.

Dean vaguely noticed how he was trying to unbutton the shirt Castiel was wearing, and how it failed to come off. He bit him on the lip, and was rewarded with the salty taste of blood. The angel's grip on his throat tightened, as the pain made his body go tense and shivering. He couldn't handle it any longer, and tore the shirt apart, revealing the naked chest of the man in front of him. The skin there was even softer than his lips. He felt like he was burning, and every movement increased the aching between his legs. In few seconds, his shirt was on the floor as well. They moved to the bed, and Dean pressed the angel down on it, so that he lay with his back on the soft bedspread.

The insecurity began flooding back into Dean, as their pants came off.

This wasn't what he was used to. Give him a female body, any female body, and it would be a done deal.

He was in bed with a man. A handsome man and a man that made his insides boil, but still a man. Dean just didn't know what to do. Castiel was pressed down underneath him, looking into his eyes, and breathing sporadically. Dean swallowed, looking frightened and wide-eyed as he met his stare.

Castiel frowned. Almost incapable of movement, all he could do was to lean in closely, and kiss him. It was such a soft kiss, their lips barely moving. As the kiss deepened, he suddenly noticed the salty taste in the corner of Dean's mouth. He broke away from the kiss, and stared into his face. Filled with tears, and sore around the edges, the hazel in Dean's eyes had turned almost emerald. He looked so confused and upset, that the angel was suddenly filled with an almost overwhelming feeling of sadness.

"I'm sorry…" Dean almost whispered. Castiel felt like if he was choking on something. He closed his eyes, and let his head rest on the pillow under his head. He had no idea what to do, or what to say. The burning didn't remain in the background. There was an intense yearning in him, a deep desire to be released.

Dean placed a wet kiss on his chest. There was no harm in a kiss. He let his lips wander, and found himself kissing further down on the naked body underneath him. It struck him how good in actually was. How soothing it was to feel another heart beating against his fingers. The fear began to slowly fade away from him again.

When Castiel's fingertips touched the back of his head, near the end of his hairline, he shuddered, and the warmth returned to his body. He carefully found his way to what the angel desperately needed touched, and the moaning from Castiel told him that he was doing it the right way. For each passionate sound that escaped the angel, for each groan, his own burning increased, and every thought disappeared from his mind. As it came near fulfillment, Castiel almost buckled, incapable of breathing, almost begging Dean to stop.

And it felt so good that his toes almost broke against the bottom edges of the bed. He gasped for breath, as Dean came back up and kissed him.

They held each other, until Castiel regained the ability to speak.

"I didn't know anything could feel like this. That a being could feel such… such wonder…" His chest rose and fell, heavily.

"You're welcome, don't mention it. …" Dean mumbled, and kissed him on the neck. He almost laughed at his own nerve. The pun sounded shaky, taken in consideration that he had almost had a nervous breakdown minutes before.

He was about to say something else, when Castiel gave him a slight push, and rolled himself steadily on top of him. There was a glint of joy in his blue eyes, and the dark hair lay shamefully untidy.

"Whoa… You don't have to…"

The last part of the sentence was drowned by the angel's mouth. This time Dean groaned, as Castiel bit into the flesh-filled part of his upper lip.

It was like if someone had poured gasoline on him, and lit a match. Every fiber in his body burned by the way he was touched. Castiel's hands moved roughly down his chest, almost scratching the skin on his stomach. Then his head disappeared, and Dean felt his tongue against the inside of his thigh. He groaned his name. "Cass…"

He felt a pounding sensation as Castiel kissed him, and tasted him, it was almost unbearable. The pleasure was so intense, that he dared not move in case it would slip away from him. Castiel tensed, suddenly doing it much rougher, almost daring him to cry out. Dean couldn't breathe, but seized a handful of the soft sheet with both his hands, clinging to it as if he was afraid to be torn apart from the inside.

When the orgasm came, it was in an almost painful burst of pleasure, causing him to cry out loudly. His whole body felt on fire as the spasms rode him for what felt like several minutes.

When his body had calmed down, he just lay there, with eyes closed and breathing heavily, as Castiel came almost crawling back up to him. He swallowed, trying to wipe some of the sweat of his forehead with the back of his hand. When he turned towards Castiel, he found him lying on his side, with a slight smirk on his face. It seemed so out of character, that Dean almost forgot about being embarrassed. He hadn't even really seen him smile. It was like it was too human an expression. Dean didn't know what he preferred, but he knew that at the moment, he didn't care.

Castiel cocked his head, and gave Dean a slight humorous frown.

"It pleasures me to see that you are not weeping anymore."

Somehow, Dean got the distinct feeling that the angel was trying to "yank his chain". He felt the heat creep back up to his face, and opened his mouth to say something.

The angel took a short, but pronounced breath, and lay down on his back, the big blue eyes staring pointedly at the dark ceiling. Dean had to fight of a sudden urge to lean in and kiss him again, but decided that he was too exhausted to begin something he would not live to finish.

Instead, he only moved closer and placed an arm on his bare chest, resting his head on Castiel`s shoulder.

"Angel or not, you better be careful, or I'm gonna have to kick your ass."

Castiel turned slightly towards him, squinting and pressing his lips together.

"Actually, I believe I would enjoy that."