I can't pinpoint the exact moment it happened, but I no longer feel the pull inside of me between good and evil, right and wrong. I am what I am, "powers" and all. I've accepted it now. Embraced it even.
After all, this demon blood pumping through my veins? It makes me strong. Maybe unstoppable. And the more I practice, the better I get at wielding it to my will. I don't even flinch at the pain anymore. I can't wait to see what else I can do. How far I can take it.
I wish that I would have discovered it sooner. So much could have been different. But none of that matters now. I cannot go back, only forward.
I am no longer a pawn. And neither is Dean. Angels or demons...it doesn't matter. They mess with Dean, they answer to ME.
I think Lilith knows all of this. It's why she hides from me. Because I'm not afraid of her anymore.