*cringe* KCS assumes any and all responsibility for this belated update. I could plead real life and writer's block over all my fics in general, but...anyhow. My apologies and don't blame Silvre.

I was hard-pressed not to laugh at the mental picture of Mycroft Holmes's messaging unit suddenly squawking in the middle of the reverential atmosphere of the Diogenes Club; but to continue the cold shoulder I was giving to a certain obnoxious consulting detective (as well as because from across the aisle Lestrade was staring disapprovingly our direction for whispering during the press conference) I refrained from more than a polite nod as Holmes sniggered and finished his story.

My amusement vanished completely, however, when an Inspector whom I did not know by sight tapped us politely on the shoulders and informed us we were to leave if we could not keep silent during the proceedings.

I felt my face flush in embarrassment, and Lestrade sent me a commiseratory glance. Holmes merely made an extremely rude gesture toward our corrective official's uniformed back. Beside Lestrade a young sergeant – Cummings, I believe Lestrade had introduced him briefly as – snickered openly, earning him an instant friend in Sherlock Holmes and a mortified elbow in the ribs from the ferret-faced inspector.

And then for the interminable space of about five seconds, we listened in perfect blissful silence to Gregson's guarded answering of a reporter's question.

Then I clapped a hand hastily to my jacket pocket as a by-now familiar vibrating rattled my watch-chain. We were seated behind a rather large – I use the term kindly – fellow who was busily scribbling in a tiny notepad, and so were hidden from view of the front of the room; I felt safe in removing the object from my pocket and peeking at its little glowing screen.

Besides, I was even more bored than Sherlock Holmes, only being present now because the man had all but begged on his knees for me to go to luncheon with him after the thing was done and because Mary was watching Mrs. Forrester's children for the majority of this sunny Saturday afternoon.

I squinted down at the object in my palm, and then sighed.

Ha, made you look.

Holmes was quivering with silent, immature laughter beside me, and I glared at him, casting a wary eye backward. Blast, the insufferable fellow who corrected us was watching us severely; silence was still crucial to our surviving this conference without public humiliation.

I scowled and began typing, aware of Lestrade's smirk across the aisle. You can be so positively juvenile.

How the devil Holmes had managed to learn to use the instrument so quickly, I have no idea, only that in the space of two seconds from when I pushed the green button I received a reply containing only colon and a capital letter P.

Puzzled, I replied. WTD does : and P mean?

Not and. :P. Its called an emoticon, if my memory serves.

Just exactly what is that??

Hopkins says it is a series of symbols and/or letters to represent the features of a human face.


:P means Im sticking my tongue out you. In a manner of speaking.

I rest my case about your juvenility.

Holmes smirked, his thin fingers tapping a steady rhythm on the infernal device. Have you a more diverting way of passing the time?

I was about to reply when both our units flashed at the same instant, carrying the identical message Break it up, u 2.

Mine bearing the signature of Lestrade, I looked over at Holmes's 'phone to see that his message was identical. Then I hastily channeled my impulsive snickering into an awkward cough, for apparently my friend had saved the poor Inspector's name in his Contacts as Rat-Face.

We both glanced across the aisle, where Lestrade was very conveniently absorbed wide-eyed in what Gregson was burbling on about and his sergeant was red-faced and studiously doodling in his notebook.

I glanced down as my unit lit up and vibrated in my palm. Shall I tell him what he can do with his CP?

CP? And no.

Cell phone, natch. Why not?

Besides that it is rude in the extreme? He has blocked your number.

:( Hes the 3rd person this week 2 do that.

Is that sposed to be a sad emoticon?

Yes Hopkins called it a frowny-face.

And you believe the fellow is more intelligent than the rest of the Yard.

Thats not saying much, u kno.


Dyou spose that idiot will ever be done blathering?

I assume youre talking about Gregson? Why did you have to come to this anyhow?

Wanted 2 c what story he gives the press about dead politician.

You could always read the paper.

Better 2 get straight from the horses mouth, sts.


So to speak. ^^ You must brush up on your emoticonage, mdf.

WTD is that sposed to be, rabbit ears? And mdf?

My dear fellow. And complacent or happy, accdg to the resident expert.

Hm. What others are there?

O lots. Most commonly :) :/ =) 8O 8D xD o.O -_- ^_^ ~.~ :-o

I am so not learning all that.

Or :-Q

And that is?

Smoking face. xP

You really have been bored of late, havent you?

U have no idea. :-o Do you spose if I begin snoring loudly Gregson will grasp the general consensus?

I wouldnt try it.

Then we both started as simultaneously both our 'phones vibrated with a message from Lestrade – namely a highly amusing picture that, had the Superintendent ever seen it, would have gotten at least three of the Inspectors fired on the spot.

But that is another story.