DISCLAIMER: I do not own Twilight.

And now, it's time for... Bella's POV! These chapters are going to be much longer that the last few, but I'll try not to let them get too long. I just hate cutting one story into several pieces.



It was spring break in Forks again. When I woke up on Monday morning, I lay in bed for a few seconds absorbing that. Last spring break, I'd been hunted by a vampire, too. I hoped this wasn't some kind of tradition forming.

Already I was falling into the pattern of things in La Push. I'd spent Sunday mostly on the beach, while Charlie hung out with Billy at the Black's house. I was supposed to be with Jacob, but Jacob had other things to do, so I wandered alone.

Today, instead of wandering alone on the beach, I decided to take a hike. I wasn't worried about the terrible bear problem anymore, and there was somewhere that has been on my mind lately.

I've been thinking more and more about his meadow since my last escapade there. I knew adrenaline and danger were key to my lunatic hallucinations, but my last visit there was traumatic enough. Perhaps I could meditate on that long enough to hear him again. With Charlie in La Push more often now, the motorcycles were out of the question, and I was getting desperate.

I didn't catch Jacob before he left on another run, and Billy was at the Clearwater's with Charlie, so I left a note on the kitchen table. I told Jacob the beach was getting a little old and I would head up to that meadow again. It ended up being very close to La Push, perhaps within earshot with his strange wolfy ears. Of course Jacob didn't like my being out of La Push, but the distance was so small, and I really needed to hear my velvet voice again.

It took me about half an hour to get to my meadow. A record, even with the new shortcut. Very pathetic, how I run after something I should be put in an asylum for.

An asylum. I sighed and shook my head, trying not to see the memory that was attempting to breach my carefully built wall.

As I entered the symmetrical circle, I couldn't help but gasp at its beauty. The springtime had all of the wildflowers blooming again. The sun was shining bright-I shuddered. I could almost see the glistening figure. The edges of my hole were smoldering.

But this wasn't why I was here. If I couldn't produce a recreation of my meeting with Laurent, I would leave.

I walked over and sat right down in the middle of the clearing. I visualized the giant wolves, the growling, Laurent's crimson eyes; a shudder went down my spine. Good, I thought, this is the direction I wanted to go.

As the sun beat down gently on my face, I couldn't help but lie back and close my eyes. As I did so, I felt hyperaware that I was alone. It was a feeling of danger. I suddenly wished Jacob had come with me, or I had not come at all.

I nearly leaped up from my position if not for the answer to my fears.

"Lay still, love." He crooned. A smile spread across my face. This was the first time my voice called me something like love.

What am I afraid of? I asked him.

"Shh. It is important you stay quiet."


"Being alone like this is very dangerous."

It doesn't matter much to me anymore.

"You need to keep yourself safe- for Charlie."

Charlie. I repeated with a sigh.

After a moments pause, something else happened; his face popped into view behind my eyelids.

I smashed my eyes tighter together, as if that would make this vision disappear. Usually when I saw his face, the pain was unbearable. Instead, this added a little extra calm. The burn from my hole considerably lessened.

"Edward," I breathed. I shouldn't have; it hurt, and the voice didn't answer. Edward? Edward, where are you? I shouted at the nothingness. The feeling of aloneness returned as hard as hitting a wall. Edward, come back, I pleaded weakly.

It felt like a cool hand touched mine.

I held my breath. This was going too far. I must have fallen asleep; my hallucinations were getting out of control. Waking up would be a good idea.

But the aloneness was gone again. Why not, I thought. This was going to hurt very much later, and I might as well take everything I can.

I gently moved my hand, and felt the cold leaf fall off. I ignored that fact, though. It was easy to believe that was a touch from a cold hard hand.

"Hello, child."

I popped up to a sitting position. This time, the voice was not in my head. It was several feet away from me, at the edge of the meadow. My jaw nearly dropped as I saw him standing there. The same crooked smile expression from my eyelids was there in front of me. I recognized the pale, marble-like skin. He was standing in the sun, so brilliant rainbows which I have not seen in too long were bouncing all over. But something was off; the hair seemed too long and not the precise color bronze. And his eyes. Something was very wrong about his eyes.

As I noticed these differences, the Edward parts began fading. I quickly realized this was not a he standing in front of me.

This was a she.

The brilliant fire-red hair and jet-black eyes told me immediately who this was, before she spoke another word.

"Do you remember me, love?" Victoria said.

I nearly blurted out some incoherent answer, but snapped my teeth together. Better to keep the same story as I told Laurent.

"I've been waiting for you a long time," she continued. "Nearly a year ago today, was it not?"

I immediately knew what she was talking about.

"Victoria." I meant to sound confident, but my heart was stuck in my throat.

"Yes, I'm here." She sounded smug.

"I- I- I spo-oke w-with L-L-Laurent." Gosh, how annoying my nerves are. And the ferocious growling in my head wasn't helping, either.

"Oh? And what did he have to say?" Her expression changed to honest surprise.

"H-he…" I could only think of the bright red eyes, and his words. If you knew what she had planned for you…

"He told you why I've been looking for you, hadn't he?"

"Yes," I mouthed.

"Ah. So, what has happened to him? I haven't seen him in a while." She seemed fairly uninterested.

"Th-the wolves killed him."

"What?" This seemed to have brought on some memory. I'm sure she remembers Jake and Sam's pack racing after her. Her reaction was so quick, though, that if I would have blinked I would have missed it.

"He was about to attack me, and the wolves saved me." Perhaps he will have found my note and gotten angry, racing out here to get me by now. Probably not.

"Well, I guess I'll have to make this quick then." Nope, no time for Jake to come. My heart beat sporadically; I'm sure she heard that. "I wanted to have a little fun with my revenge. You caused me a lot of pain, you know. The least I can do is return it, don't you think? Isn't that fair?"

I closed my eyes. So this was it. I meditated on the brilliant growling I heard and the beautiful face behind my lids. Let it all come out, one more time. This time, I won't feel the pain at all. Edward, Edward. Edward, I love you. You are my life Edward. You always will be.

Nothing happened for a few seconds. I wondered if she decided on no pain. Her eyes were dark as night, so she must have been very thirsty. I hoped I was already dead.

"Any final words?" I heard her ask sarcastically. Darn, not gone yet.

"Edward, I love you." I haven't said this in months, a millennia to me. The words were so beautiful. My body entirely relaxed into a sleepy hunch. Tears wanted to brim over; I could never say this again. I looked at her, waiting for her to start.

"I'll tell him that," she said heartlessly.

In one lightning-fast movement, I felt the whoosh of air around me and I heard my back crack against a tree trunk. She held me sitting upright. But then she did something unexpected. She pushed my head back, exposing my neck. I sucked in an involuntary breath. Immediate death? I could handle this.

I felt the sharp snap of my skin as she cut two crescent shape scars. I waited for everything to go black.

But then, as if I couldn't be more surprised, she pulled away.

She stopped drinking.

She didn't want to kill me; not just yet.

In seconds I fully realized why she was smiling at me so sadistically. My eyes shot down towards my upraised palm. The sun was shining on it, illuminating the two scars.

This time it was her turn for surprise. She whipped her head back and forth between me and my hand.

"James bit me. Venom can be sucked out," I blurted.

"How?!" She shrieked.

The name twisted it's way out. This wouldn't be happening, if that day went a little differently. "Edward." I miss you, I added in my head.

She looked like she would ask more, but the burning finally registered in my slow brain. I let out a blood-curdling scream and began thrashing around, as I had one year ago.

My memories of the burning weren't even close. I forgot just how awful it was. I felt like I was dropped into a great, flaming vat of molten rock.

My senses were entirely taken over; I didn't recall how much time it was until I heard growling.

I couldn't see much of anything from where I lay in the grass. But I certainly could hear a vicious, murderous growl. Of course, I recognized this as my dear Jacob's, followed by Victoria's. Soon after the eruption of growls I heard Sam enter and phase, followed by the last of the pack.

I realized there Jacob was, only a few yards away from me, fighting Victoria. I know he had the rest of the pack to help him, but the thought still unnerved me. What if he got hurt? How could I live with myself?

Then the truth of the matter hit. I couldn't see Jacob. Within a few days, I'm going to be the exact thing he is fighting now. How would he think of me, hard and cold? Would I still be his Bella? Would I repulse him?

Will I be too dangerous? Would I hurt him?

I couldn't let him know I was here. I would lay still and quiet, just as… Carlisle had. Rosalie said there was no point in screaming. And right now, if I did scream, I would alert the pack that a new abomination was near.

Jacob couldn't come suck out the venom as Edward had. It would kill him.

In three days, I would be a vampire.

"Bella? No, no, no, Bella! Bella, where are you?"

I could hear Jacob now, and his voice seemed to be getting closer. I wanted to cry out to him, ease his audible fear for me, but I knew that finding me would be even greater pain.

"Jake, can you hear her?" Quil.

"I don't know… I think so. But the sound is- off." Oh great. The super-sonic hearing means they can hear by heartbeat, too.

"Wait. Oh!" Jacob stopped in his tracks. "Sam, get over here. Now."

I heard the tall grass rustle as Sam met Jacob.

"Oh my."

"Yes! Is that her?"

"Seems human enough… but listen to the heavy breathing."

Oh. Yeah, I was breathing pretty heavy.

"I don't know Jake. Follow, I think that's her."

It took much longer than I expected for Jacob and Sam to reach me. Victoria must have brought me very far.

The relief on Jacob's face nearly made me burst. I wanted so badly to leap and give him one of those huge hugs, but I was in no state for jumping or hugging right now.

"Bella! Bella, are you hurt?" he cried out to me.

All I could do was feebly reach my hand out to him. I held my palm facing away from me, motioning him to stop.

"Sam, I think she's hurt."

"Please tell me, can we move you Bella?"

"She's conscious, that's a good sign."


"Jake, you have to leave," I croaked.

"Why?" he was completely shocked. "What's wrong here?"


Sam looked at Jacob, and nodded. Jacob then reached his huge arms underneath me and picked me up like a child.

"NO! Jacob, PUT ME DOWN!" My limbs flailed around as the force of my pain leaked out.

Hardly noticing my relatively weak struggles, he carried me to someone's minivan just at the edge of the forest, and gently laid me across the backseat.

"Bella, it's okay, it's okay," he soothed. I was shaking, twitching. A product from the burning, but he thought it was from shock and fear.

I could see we were getting all too close to La Push. I'm sure I was over the invisible treaty line made decades ago. But I would do anything to protect the Cullens, if they wanted to come back. If I go over this line, I would break the treaty, and cause war. I may not be a Cullen, but I'm going to be a good vampire. No need to hurt those I still love, no matter how little they love me.

In the fastest and swiftest movement possible, I leapt up and threw open the door. Luckily it wasn't locked. Without taking so much of a glance at the pavement rolling by I jumped from the van, hardly feeling anything over the venom as I landed.

The van screeched to a halt, but before it even stopped moving Jacob was out and running full tilt towards me.

"What in daylight was that for? Bella, what is wrong?!"

I looked up at his face. The burning really was too much; I wasn't sure if I could pull that stunt again.

"Jake, I…" How do I tell him?

"Bella, there is… Oh my goodness!"

He grabbed a fistful of my hair and tugged it away, revealing my neck and its new scar.

"Bella." Uh oh.

He scooped me up, one more time, and was in the truck in seconds. Instead of the backseat this time, I rode in the driver's seat- in his lap.

"Don't think you can jump out again."

"Jacob, listen to me. I CANNOT go to La Push." I couldn't keep from screaming. Screaming seems like something I will be doing a lot now.

"And why not? Why are you screeching like that?"

"Jacob, think. What am I?" I thrashed my hand towards my neck.

He paused for only a second. "The transformation is not complete."

"You may be a little biased."

"Bella." He looked like a father giving a young child a lecture. "I have never told you this, but I have a bigger say in dealings than you may think."

"But Sam…"

"Sam is only pack leader because the real pack leader didn't want to be."

"Who?" I asked.


I stared at him with wide eyes, whimpering back my shrieks.

"It's okay. Shh."

That did it.

I seemed to be emitting earsplitting sirens the whole way. We reached Sam's house, and Jacob had me through the door in seconds.

Everyone was there. Emily was sipping some ice water against the sink, and the four boys were convened around the kitchen table. They all stood up when they heard my shrieking and saw Jacob's expression.

"Jacob, what's…?"

"Sam, we have a problem," Jacob interrupted.

He gently laid me down across the kitchen table. I tucked in my knees to fit, and shoved my fist in my mouth to try to stop the noise.

"Look," Jacob pointed.

Everyone looked at my neck. Emily gasped.

"Oh, poor dear." She pitied.

The silence that filled the room was painful. Only my yelping broke it.

Several minutes went by before anyone could speak.

"There's nothing we can do. What's done is done," Sam finally said.

"Bella, you told me this can be sucked out! Tell me how!" Jacob pleaded.

"No, Jake," I howled. "It's too late. Nothing can be done." I think I was understandable, high pitched as I was.

"It is never too late!"

"The venom has spread too long now, Jacob," Sam answered.

"So now what? Is there anything at all?!"

"What's done is done," he repeated. "Now we just sit here and wait."

Uh oh, a little bit of a cliffy. Sorry bout that. I should have the next chapter done soon, I just need to find a good place to chop it off and make a clean break (AW! I can't believe I just said "clean break". I swear that was TOTALLY unintentional :D )

So yeah, give me a few days and hopefully I'll post again. I can't wait... the next chapter is so cool, for what I have finished.

Thanks for reading! Kind critiques/ideas/complements are always apreciated!