Author notes: This goes season to season of Buffy, having a short humorous account from characters' point of view from each season, summing up the character as a person and some of the events of the season. Each season has the core four- Buffy, Willow, Xander, and Giles- plus and extra character or several for each individual one.

Season one

Buffy: Oh god, being the Slayer SUCKS. All I wanna do is be a normal girl- NORMAL, like really normal, with the boy talk and manicures and dates, not just some girl pretending to be normal when really I'm just a freak who kills fangy undead things. I just want to be a cheerleader, I just want to be able to go out and have fun and not worry about having to turn around and shove a stake in some nasty dead guy trying to ruin my night like they can't seem to resist doing. I don't WANT to fight the monster of the week every time some new dead body turns up. They're gross and have really bad fashion sense- hello, we're in the twentieth century people, capes and plaid pants are no longer chic- and they don't even appreciate my carefully planned puns. Plus they make me look like this way out of control chick who tears off limbs and burns down gyms when I'm pissed off, and that totally isn't me- do I look like one of those chicks who flips out and kills people for no reason? I don't wear all black or underline passages in The Catcher in the Rye… whatever.

The thing about this stupid Slayer business making me look like a psycho killer girl type is that EVERYONE thinks that. And besides making me not exactly candidate for homecoming queen ever again, it makes my mom watch me like a falcon, or whatever sharp-eyed bird the saying says. As if my life doesn't suck enough, never being able to do anything like a normal person, you know that quiet, kinda annoying-but-very-sexy guy always lurking around with the cool leather jacket…the one I could definitely get with? Yep, he's a vampire, of course. With a soul, yeah, but still… my boyfriend has had a freakin' bicentennial.

This sucks so bad… and I'm not just talking about the vamps here. I mean, I'm blonde, I'm young, I'm cute…and I hack things to pieces without even getting paid for it. Does anyone else see the fairness in that?

Giles: Buffy Summers is a positively insufferable child at times. She is insolent, reckless, impatient, and never appears to find it necessary to heed my instruction as her Watcher. She certainly does not train as a Slayer should, whether in fashion or time and effort, and as for studying? The girl seems to barely be literate, and she simply spouts off one of her ever-ready little witticisms if I should suggest such a thing. She has a simply appalling sense of style, not seeming to understand that clothing is generally designed to cover the body in a fashion that does not render it entirely without dignity, and the rubbish she calls "music"…

And yet… Buffy could be quite a fighter, quite a Slayer, if she would only apply herself. She has a natural ability, natural gifts and skills, and if she would simply learn to use them… and despite all her cheekiness, all her defiance, and the ways in which the American culture has made her like any other infuriating child of her era and country, I find myself growing oddly fond of her the longer we are together… she could grow to be quite a woman under my guidance.

If she would only /stop/ with that bloody prattle at times…

Willow: This is so cool...I, Willow Rosenberg, actually have a cool life right now, even if no one else would ever believe it…hehe, I'm undercover cool! Isn't that cool!?

But, I mean, for a girl like Buffy to even pay attention to me… she's so pretty and she could be really popular if she wanted to, she's not like me at all. I mean even Cordelia wanted to be her friend, Cordelia is the most popular and rich girl in Sunnydale and she thought Buffy could be one of her friends… Cordelia would /never/ think that about me, if she even looked at me it would be to tell me to get out of her way and that my dress is ugly or something. Buffy could hang out with anyone she wanted to, she could have much cooler friends than me…but she wants to hang out with /me/. She likes /me/…she's /my/ friend… and I'm her friend, I'm her /best/ friend. That is just so cool…who would have thought that little old me would be friends with a Slayer?! Fighting creatures of darkness and evil badness… that's me. Sort of…I mean, I'll leave the fighting to Buffy, that I still need work on…

Xander: Buffy is so awesome! She's hot- can't forget that one if you've got eyes- and she's funny, and she's cool, and she totally kicks bad guy butt. Which is very awe-inspiring, even if it's also sort of intimidating…

I so want to be her. But not as a girl- not because she's a girl! I definitely don't want to be a girl. Not that' there's anything wrong with girls, they are very very nice to look at, and I am definitely pro-girl-existence…I just don't want to be one. Anyway- I just want to be able to be /like/ her, is what I meant…all witty and suave and cracking jokes that people actually laugh at, staking the evil undead without falling on my face in the process. But hey, she likes me anyway at least…

She could so like me if it weren't for that stupid Angel guy and his stupid I'm-such-a-deep-sensitive-broody-creature-who-happens-to-like-to-suck-your-blood act. Why do girls always go for guys like that?! Well, not the blood-sucking thing- even though they don't seem to mind that either the way people get killed by vamp dates every other day- but sensitive-mysterious thing? I could be sensitive and mysterious too!

Well…if it wasn't so hard to stop talking about things and cracking jokes. But someone's gotta be the funny one, right? That's MY superpower…I like to think…stop looking at me!

Cordelia: Oh my god, what is WITH this Buffy chick?! She just comes in here and thinks she knows it all, she thinks she can just take over the whole school and all the men… she is SUCH a loser. Why does anyone even look at her? Whatever- like she could really ever be more popular than me, please! Like anyone other than boys like Jesse or Xander Harris could ever like her…with those clothes, and that hair, and those stupid dorky friends…I mean, come on, Willow Rosenberg and Xander Harris?! What was I thinking, thinking she could ever be a friend of MINE?! I must have been half retarded that day, or suffering heat stroke or something…

And she's always getting in all these fights, and everywhere she goes, people end up like blind, or invisible, or dead or something… she's like a jinx or something. What. A. Freak.