June 2002

Martin and Samantha were on there way back from questioning a widow whose husband had been murdered. They had been attracted towards each other for a while and neither of them had the gut of saying anything. Martin decided that he needed to discuss this with her. "Sam I need to talk to you." "Sure." "You know that I respect you as an equal team member just like Viv." "Yes." "You knowthat we have been friends for some time and that we trust each other but there is more, at least from my side. Samantha I fell in love with you and I would be happy if my feelings would be answered." Samantha was a little shoked but a little surprised too, that Martin felt the same way as she did. "Martin I always hoped that you would say something because I love you too." Martin had stopped the car by now and was looking at Samantha. "Really?" "Yes." "I do not want you to fell forced into a relationship with me." "I love you Martin. I do." She leaned over to him and gave him a passionate kiss. He put his hand behind her head and pulled her into the kiss. She put her arms around his neck. When they both had to break the kiss because they needed air, Martin smiled at her and Samantha blushed and looked away. "Sam are you alright?" "Yeah. Martin I do not want the team to know. Not yet." "Sam that is OK. You have to be comfortable. I think we should get back to the office." "Yeah." "How about I come by your place tonight?" "That would be OK." She smiles a shy smile and Martin drives them back to the office.

In the evening Martin and Sam went to her appartment together. Sam asks him to sit down on the couch while she prepares the dinner. But after a few minutes he walks into the kitchen. "Martin I told you that I will prepare dinner." "Sam remember we are equal. So let me help you." "Fine." After they had finished they ate and then sat down on the couch. While they are watching TV the telefon rings and Sam answers it. "Mom stop it. Please stop calling me and reminding me off my past in Kenosha."….."No mom. Do not ever call me again." With that she ended the conversation with her mother and put the phone down on the counter. She walked back to the livingroom and Martin saw her face. She was hurt and she had tears shimmering in her eyes which threatened to fall. Martin got up and walked over to Sam who is standing infront of the window. He lays his arm on her back but she just walks away and says. "Martin please. If you do that I am going to loose control. I will be right back." With that she walks to the bedroom and leaves Martin alone in the livingroom. He does not want to let it be and follows her. He knocks at the door. "Sam. It is me Martin. I am going to come in now." He walks in and finds her laying on the bed in a ball crying. He sits down next to her and lays his hand on her back. "Sam talk to me. What did your mother say to you to hurt you this bad?" "Martin please. Just go." "Sam I am not going to go and leave you hear alone crying your eyes out. What is it?" "Something from my childhood. Nothing important Martin." "Well it seems to be so important to you that you are crying your eyes out now." "Has something to do with one of my mother´s ex-boyfriend. It is OK." "Sam it is not OK. Talk to me." He laid his hand on the leg and jumped and sat up on the bed. She moved to the headboard of the bed and he immediately knew what must have happened to her.

"Sam he touched you right?" She just nodded. He put his hand on her knee stroking it and moved closer to her. While he moved closer to her and put his hands to her upper arms he talked to her. "Sam look at me." She looked at him. "I am not going to hurt you. Look what I am doing. I just want to comfort you OK?" She nodded. When his hands were on her upper arms she moved forward and put her head against his chest and started to cry. He pulled her into a hug. Always careful enough not to cause her to panic. After she had cried for a long time she sat up pulled her knees up again and looked at Martin. She wiped away the tears. She knows that she has to tell him the truth. She loves him and he loves her. "We lived in a trailor with two bedrooms. When I was eight my mother fell in love with this guy Ken. I was happy to see my mother happy again after the bitter divorce from my father…." She took a deap breath. "About three months later he came into my room and came into my bed for the first time." "It was not the only time right?" "No." By now tears were streaming down her face. "He came to me three times a week. Always when my mother had night shift. I tried to leave Martin. I really did. When I was fourteen I left but the police brought me back and when I was sixteen I left again but my mother found me and brought me back. When I was eighteen I left and went to the police academy. But you have to believe me Martin. I really tried to leave." Martin pulled her into a hug and said. "Sam it is not your fault. You did it not voluntarily. I love you and nothing I going to change that. Understood?" Yeah. But you must think that I am dirty." "Sam you are not dirty. You are beautiful and attractive. Instead of protecting you he hurt you in a really bad way. A way no adult should hurt a kid." "Thank you Martin. I love you." "I know. I love you too." She kissed him and he returned the kiss. After a while she was sitting on his lap and was unbuttoning his shirt. He let her do it because he wanted her to decide what steps to take and not he. After a while she led his hands to her blouse and she gave him the sign to take it off of her. Then she laid down on the bed and he moved above her. They continued to kiss and she opened his pants and relieved herself out of her pants and underwear too. He then moved up to her mouth and kissed her again and she answered the kisses.

She then pulls him close to her and guided him to her entrance. He looked at her for consent and she nodded. He moved inside and gave her time to adjust to him. Then he moved slowly in and kept kissing her body when he suddenly noticed that she was crying. He immediately stoped and moved out of her and sat down next to her. "Sam are you alright?" She turned away from him and covered herself with a blanket and started to cry uncontrollable. Martin put on his boxers and his shirt again and walked around the bed and knelt down infront of her. She was looking at him pleadingly. "Martin I am sorry. I saw him doing it again. I am sorry I dissapointed you." He sat down on the bed and helped her sit up and pulled her into him. "Sam you did not dissapoint me. Everything is alright. Ken is not here and I will not let him hurt you again. It will take time but it will be OK sometime." "Thank you so much Martin." "Hey I love you. That is what partners do. They help each other and are equal to each other. We will figure it out together alright?" "Yes. Martin?" "What is it?" "Please do not tell anyone about Ken and what happened." "Does Jack know?" "He does not and he will not. Please Martin." "I will not tell anyone unless you want me to. I think you should go talk to Lisa." "Why?" "She might be able to help you too. Sam please." Samantha shook her head and Martin sighed. "Fine. How about this I will talk to her tomorrow and arange an appointment after or before working hours and I will go with you." "OK." "Come on Sam let us get some sleep."

The next morning Martin walked into Lisa´s office. "Morning Lisa!" "Morning Martin. What can I do for you?" "Do you have an appointment before or after working hours?" "Sure. How about tonight a seven." "That sounds good. See you then." "Alright." He walked back to his desk and wrote an SMS to Sam telling her about the appointment.

In the evening they around the corner of Lisa´s office and Martin saw that Samantha was hesitant. "Sam it is going to be alright. I will be with you." She nodded. They walked into Lisa´s office and she was surprised to see Sam. "Martin! Sam!" "Hello Lisa." "Hello Lisa." They sat down on the couch across from Lisa. Martin was holding Sam´s hand. "Martin what can I do for you?" "This appointment is not because of me." "It is because of me Lisa." Lisa looked surprised. "Samantha what can I do for you?" Samantha looked down and filled with her jacket. Martin said. "Sam tell her. She will not tell anyone. She is not allowed to tell anyone." "I cannot Martin." "Sam you are strong. You have to tell her." Samantha swallowed and spoke up. "Lisa my mother had a boyfriend who moved into our trailor when I was 8. I left when I was 18." She looked at Martin for encouragement and he squeezed her hand. "My mother worked in a company and worked three nights a week. He came into my bed during those nights." She had tears rolling down her checks by now and Martin let go off her hand and put his right arm around her shoulder and gave her his left hand to hold onto now. "I pushed it away until yesterday evening." "What happened yesterday evening?" "Martin and I were in bed and when we were getting started when I totally freaked." She looked away ashamed and Martin said. "Sam it is OK." She lay her head on his shoulder and Martin stroked her back to calm her down. Lisa saw the love between the couple and knew right away that Samantha needed help so that she would not always freak. "Sam how about Martin takes you home now and we will make further appointments tomorrow." "Lisa noone except Martin and you know. I would like to keep it that way." "Do not worry. No one will know." "Thank you Lisa. Can we make our next appointments now because I want Martin here during the sessions." "I actually thought of talking to you alone." When Samantha heard that she started clinging to Martin and she said. "Martin please do not leave me alone. I need you." She lay her head against his chest and he pulled her into a hug and kissed her temple. Lisa saw that Samantha was absolutly in no mental state to be alone and she saw that she trusted and loved Martin. She saw that she needed him to be present at the sessions and said. "Alright. Martin can be present during the next few sessions." "Thank you Lisa." They made their next appointments and then Sam and Martin went to her appartment.

When they arrived her appartment she collapsed onto the couch and Martin went to the kitchen to cook a cup of tea for both of them. He sat down next to her and put the tea cups down on the couch table and covered her with a quilt. He then pulled her into a hug and just let her be. He knew that she would talk eventually from alone. She snuggled into him and tried to relax. When he heard her breath deep and relaxed he carried her to bed and covered her with a blanket. He lay down on the couch and covered himself with a quilt. He did not want to leave her alone tonight. He just hoped that she would net have nightmares after she had pushed away the memories over the past 11 years since she had left her mothers trailor. And even if she would have nightmares he would be there to help her through it.