And A Ring Around My Neck

If she didn't know better, Lucy might have said people were—leering at her. And not in an appropriately worshipful way, (which was, you know, obviously just to be expected and gracefully ignored) but in a sort of…smirky superiority. Still, though, she refused to be deterred by such!

"On your ass?" Gray shouted incredulously, "Man. That's devotion."

Natsu smiled wickedly at the evidently self-satisfied Loki. "Have a seat."

"Go to hell," Loki told him quite cheerfully, before he spotted Lucy and vamped up his grin to a previously undiscovered voltage. She sat herself quite firmly beside Natsu. He would protect her. Probably.

Gray seemed to having a silent fit. She ignored him too. He was probably just high off his hair products or something.

"Lucy!" Loki said quite worshipfully. He attempted to slide onto the bench beside her, and then nearly fell over, looking like he was about to throw up. Now Natsu was the one having a fit.

"You need to stop popping into the real world all the time," she lectured, totally misunderstanding his agony. "You'll wear yourself out. Seriously. If you don't I might—buy you a shock collar, or something."

"I wouldn't mind."

She turned very pink at that and busied herself with impaling the counter top with her fork. Mirajane allowed this for about three seconds before gracefully stealing in and sweeping all the sharp utensils away. Lucy watched her go mournfully.

"…Are you getting off the floor anytime soon?"

"No. Nice view from here."

Lucy stepped on his head. It didn't satisfy her as much as it should have, since she was pretty sure he enjoyed that too. Indeed, he was grinning quite evilly up until he attempted to stand up—and then toppled back over, face bone-white.

Gray and Natsu were actually spluttering and turning blue. Lluvia waited in the eves hopefully, just incase emergency CPR was needed.

Something was beginning to click into place. Lucy eyed him suspiciously.

"What'd you do?"

"Uh." He panted, pulled his hands away from his mouth, "I got a tattoo."

"Oh." Lucy considered this for a moment—before several very horrifying possibilities flashed through her mind and she scooted quickly away from him. "What."

"R-R-Re-'Reserved.'" Natsu gasped, and then flopped back over, giggling. Gray took over.

"On his ass." He said, with quite some relish, and rejoined Natsu, howling. People were starting to look at them funny.

Lucy fancied she could see pretty colors.

"Lucy—please don't make that face."

"Access denied. Failure to compute. Your entry is being processed. Downloading, downloading—" Lucy chanted mechanically, and everyone paused to stare at her.

"Is that a spell?" Natsu pondered. Gray sighed hugely.

"Dude, you broke her."

"Our love is so pure…?" Loki trailed off hopefully.

Lucy hacked and slumped over.