AN: Hi everyone, so this is my new story, and it's kinda set after, On the Head of a Pin. Because I live in Australia, the episode hasn't aired so I don't really know what has happened apart from the fact that Sam has been drinking Ruby's blood. When I found out I gagged, I watched the clip on youtube and I gagged and nearly threw up which is weird because I don't normally get squirmish around blood. So in this story there is Evil!Sam and a character death. Rated T for swearing and if anyone thinks I should change the rating let me know.
Part One - Sammy's No More…
The argument had escalated. Neither of them were controlling their tempers letting everything they kept inside, finally tumbling out.
'I saw you!' Dean yelled as he flailed his arms around.
'So?!' Sam asked, his voice matching Dean's pitch.
'I can't do this.' Dean muttered as he put his hands out. He stared hard at Sam and tried to picture Sammy. He walked over to his side of the bed and crouched down, looking for his duffel. He threw the bag on top of the bed moving to the bureau they shared. He grabbed his clothes and aimlessly threw them on the bed. Briefly turning to look, he knew Sammy was gone.
'Dean, what are you doing?' Sam asked as he tried to calm down. Dean continued to silently pack his things. 'Dean!' Sam yelled as he stalked over to Dean. 'Dean! Will you fucking stop?!' He now stood on the other side of Dean's bed. 'Dean you don't have to…'
Dean suddenly grabbed the bag and threw it across the room while simultaneously yelling at Sam. 'Yes! Sam I have to! You want to know why?' Dean's chest was heaving as he stepped around the bed so he and Sam were now face to face. 'I can't fucking do this anymore!' He pushed at Sam's chest.
'I'm not asking you to do anything!' Sam moved back slightly but straightened himself up.
'Yes you are!' Dean stepped forward again. He couldn't care less if the people in the other rooms heard the ranting and arguing. The subject matter would be enough to keep them from knocking on the door. 'Every time you go out in the middle of the night with your freaking bitch you're asking me to wait up for you!'
'What?!' Sam stepped back again putting distance between them. 'I have never. Never, asked you to do that.'
'You don't have to say it Sam, but I know you.' Incoherently Dean added the words, 'I knew you.'
Sam flinched and didn't miss it thought. 'So that's what you really think, Dean, I've changed into some monster?'
Dean looked up his eyes shining with unshed tears. 'How can I save you when you don't want to be saved?' His tone was single sided and flat. He slumped his shoulders and finally stepped back giving Sam more room.
A new anger bubbled up in Sam. Of course he wanted to be saved. That's why he was doing this. He didn't want Dean to die on the way to the apocalypse. He didn't want anyone to die. 'Damn it!' Sam cursed as he stamped his foot down like a petulant little toddler. 'Of course I want to be saved!'
Suddenly Dean had found the fight within him wiping his eyes with the corner of his sleeve. 'Do you? I mean c'mon Sam, you were licking that shit up pretty fast!' Flashback suddenly penetrated his eyes as he saw the vision of Ruby and Sam together. Sam sucking Ruby's forearm as the demon blood entered his own bloodstream.
'If I didn't you would have died!' Sam was screaming as he fisted his hands through his hair. 'Seriously did you want to die at the hands of Alistair again?!' He watched Dean as different emotions played across his face. Anger, sadness, hurt, distrust. Sam watched Dean as they all played on his face. It was only a split second but Sam saw two emotions that he never wanted to see.
'I don't know Sam.' Dean responded, Sam was staring into his eyes. He wasn't moving and it didn't look like he was blinking either. 'Sam.'
Sam huffed quietly, 'You're disappointed in me.'
'Oh God, Sam,' Dean groaned as Sam muttered to himself. Dean stood in the middle of the room.
'I don't know what's worse though, the disappointment or the fear.' Sam sank down the wall, covering his mouth with his hand.
'Sam…wait? What?' Dean questioned as he moved towards the bed refolding his clothes so they fit into his bag.
'You're scared of me Dean.' Dean continued to look at him while mechanically checking if he had everything
'No I'm not.' Dean said cautiously. 'Scared and worried are two very different things.' He put the last of his clothes into his bag and sat down beside Sam.
'You're scared I'm going to hurt you.' Sam looked at Dean as he fought the sudden onslaught of running to the bathroom and throwing up. His big brother was scared of him. His big, brave, strong, mess with my little brother and you won't see the living day brother was afraid of…of him.
AN: So what to you think, this is going to be part 1 and the next and final chapter will be part 2. I know that this is weird and doesn't go with the actual story arc, but I just had this thought and well...let me know what you think, by the way, I think I set up a poll on my profile so go and check that out. Please leave a review so I can improve my writing. Luv Scare.