Title: Writer and Characters, An Argument
Author: Whisper2AScream
Disclaimer: Otherwise known as the "cover yer ass" ploy. Buffy, Xander, Willow and the rest are, say it with me, Joss Whedon's! As well as Mutant Enemy, Kuzui Productions, Twentieth Century Fox (who should be flamed for killing fan sites), and UPN affliates. John Constantine, well, as much as he might say otherwise, he sprung from the mind of Alan Moore, and belongs to DC Comics/Vertigo. (There's other stuff, but listing it at the bottom since it's spoilers for the story.)
Spoilers: Eh... up to the end of fifth season.
Rating: PG-13 for language mostly. (Hey, Spike and John are here, so no telling what they're gonna say.)
Notes: What happens when a writer's bored, reads a lot of fic, and has ingested massive quantities of caffeine? You'll see.

At the Magic Box, there was yet another Scooby Gang meeting, though less one Scooby these days. Since Buffy was at "mostly dead" status. Then, a young woman walked in, hefting a laptop with her.
The group immediately stopped talking, and glanced back at her.
"Bloody hell."
"Not again."
"It's one of them."
"Hey, who's talking?"
` "I don't know. Are you?"
"I don't know either."
"Lazy ass writer."
"Ahem!" The writer said, and then added, to the last one who spoke, (It was Spike in case you were confused. *We were!* Oh, be quiet! *Get on with it!* Right, anyway.) "Spike, shut the hell up."
Anya whispered over to Spike, "I thought most of the fans like you?"
Spike whispered back, "Yeah, but this Whisper's a bit loony. She also liked Riley."
Buffy glanced at them, "What are you saying about him?"
Both of them replied, "Nothing."
The writer then said, "Guys, I don't know why you bother to whisper or even think. You know I can hear you."
Buffy then asked, "Yeah, and why are you teaming me up with Spike, too?"
"Since when?"
Willow showed Whisper, the fic, "Teaching Mr. Whedon."
"Oh right. That was really as a favor to another writer who is a B/S shipper. You know my preferences."
Xander commented, "I heard. And I'm still mad at you for turning me into a girl. _Twice_. Correction, THREE times now!"(*)
Spike started laughing loudly, "A girl??? Hahaha! You wearing a skirt, too?"
"Shut up Britboy,"
Whisper then added, "Actually a fuku, or Japanese schoolgirl outfit. Sailor top and short, pleated skirt." By now Spike was rolling on the floor laughing, with the rest of the group not far behind.
Willow, trying not to laugh, asked, "You stuck him as a Sailor Scout??"
"Senshi, and yeah, well, it was suggested. So I made him Sailor Fool's Heart. He's still my favorite character."
Buffy commented, "If he's your favorite, what do you do with the characters you hate?"
Whisper grinned evilly, "You don't want to know."
Giles then said, "Um, by the way, I just noticed. Aren't you supposed to be dead?"
Buffy frowned, "Um, yeah. But I'm feeling much better now." She glanced back at Whisper, "Explanation?"
She shrugged, "I'm a writer. Figure it out."
Xander then said, "Ok, you know you just paraphrased Babylon 5 there? And you made a Night Court reference before."
"Actually the latter was said by Buffy. Your point being?"
"Should that be added to the Disclaimer?"
Whisper thought for a moment, "I'm not using characters from either, so uh, no."
Willow then asked, "Um, where's the rest of our group?"
"The rest?" The writer blinked innocently.
"Yes, Tara, and Dawn? And where did Anya go?" Willow prodded. For Anya had somehow vanished. Xander then leaned over and whispered in Willow's ear. She blushed, and replied, "Oh, right, you're a W/X shipper. Um, that was just a fluke, you know?"
Whisper replied, "Sure it was. That's why you've said I love you to each other."
"What, when?"
"Never mind, don't have time here."
Spike commented, "Why not, good time as any?" He suspected something was up the way the two of them acted around each other. Hell, seemed bloody obvious to everyone, except for the two parties.
Whisper sighed, "Alright, well, Xander knows when Will said that she loved him. BUT Willow, Xander..." Xander had just leapt up, and clamped a hand over her mouth.
"Don't say it!"
She pushed his hand away, and babbled out in a rush, "Don't say what? How you admitted that you love her while you were sitting by what you had thought was her death bed, that?"
Willow blinked and stared at them, "What?"
"You know, you in coma. Xander says I love you. You wake, and yell for Oz."
Willow turned towards him, "Xander? Is that true?"
Xander was currently sweating, and looking for a place to hide. When nothing could be found, he quietly said, "Um... yes?"
She asked, "And you let me go back to Oz?"
"You picked him! And pushed me away! I thought he was better for you."
Spike commented, "Well, wish Passions had a storyline like this."
Whisper warned him, "Spike, cool it, or I'll turn you into Timmy."
"And I thought you said you don't have a God complex." Another voice added loudly.