Ok, so I was bored. And I was like, OMG! I'm going to write a totally random fic that includes kissing Itachi and random cussing with the Akatsuki! AND SO I DID! lol

Review please? Much appreciation. ^.^

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, cause if I did then Ino would probably be slutty and Sakura would smack her down. Sakura would also be in love with Kakashi or Itachi, who wouldn't kill his family. ^.^


I sat in stunned silence, staring at the group that had suddenly appeared in my kitchen. They stood there staring back, somehow looking dangerous and large. An impressive feat considering the size of my kitchen.

I was suddenly reminded of one of the songs we sang at girl scout camp.

I looked at him, he looked at meeeee, I sized up him he sized up meeeeee. (He sized up me)

Or something like that.

"Who the fuck are you?" asked Hidan. Kisame hit him in the back of the head.

"Watch your language around the ladies," he snapped. I snorted.

"I am NOT a lady, thank you very much." Kisame looked a little deflated. I laughed.

"Whas wong, did I hurt the poor wittle fishys feewings?" He glared at me, then muttered something about ungrateful women. Konan laughed.

"I like you. Whats your name?"

"You can call me Kiko," I replied. She nodded.

"I'm Konan, and this is my group of complete fucking morons." I laughed and nodded to them.

"I'm Tobi!" Shouted Tobi, running up and giving me a bear hug. Aw, I just loved idiots.

"Hi Tobi!" I shouted, hugging him back with just as much enthusiasm.

The akatsuki sweatdropped. I smiled charmingly at them.

Itachi frowned and muttered.

"Oooohhh!" I squealed, jumping on him and rubbing my face on his cheek.

"You're soo freakin hot!" I got a whiff of something that smelled like...mint.

"And you smell delicious!" I said, sticking my nose in his hair.

"I'll give you five seconds to release me before I use my sharingan on you," he said in monotone. I just giggled.

"Aw, you're even cuter when you're angry." Hidan and Kakuzu burst out laughing. Pein sighed.

"Don't we have enough morons in our group?" he muttered. Anime tears rolled down his face. I sighed.

"Pein," I said sweetly. He looked at me.

"Shut the hell up." This caused Hidan and Kakuzu to snicker some more.

"Thats it, I'm outta here," said Pein, making hand signs then disappearing. Kisame quickly followed. Sasori just smirked at me, still clinging to Itachi, and disappeared also, followed quickly by Deidara.

Konan rolled her eyes.

"I have to follow them, lest they do something stupid." I nodded and she left.

Hidan and Kakuzu stood staring at me.

"And just what, pray tell, are you staring at?" I asked regally. Hidan snorted. Kakuzu rolled his eyes and disappeared.

"Woman, release me immediately." growled Itachi. I looked up at him. I smiled. Then I did the bravest, or stupidest, thing ever. I kissed him.

Hidan shouted, "What the fuck?! Why does Uchiha get all of the chicks?!" I laughed at the look on Itachi's face. He was surprised.

"HAHAHA! I made you show emotion!" I yelled, doing a happy dance. Having released Itachi, he quickly disappeared in a swirl of ash.

I stopped and stared at the place where he just was. Tears rolled down my face.

Sinking to my knees, I cried, "Why must thou taketh away my love...er...eth!" Hidan sweatdropped.

"On second thought, you can just keep stalking Uchiha." With that, he too disappeared.

"Um...excuse me?" asked a girl with pink hair. I blinked at her. Looked at the multi-colored group behind her. Took note of the silver and blonde heads. Grinned.

More people to antagonize.


Reviews? Favorites? PLEASE?!