Broke Straight Guys

…I've seen a lot of things in my relatively short time of life. This is definitely one of the odder ones. You couldn't make this shit up if you tried. This is really a real website. You can see some clips from it on Xtube if you're like me and don't want to pay the membership fee.


The bell hanging from the door jingled as another young man entered the building where so many like him had discovered a new side of themselves for the sake of money. Naruto stood outside the aforementioned structure, glancing at the mustard-stained napkin his roommate had scrawled upon in his usual blue ink to ensure he had the correct location. This was definitely it. 317 Shippuden Street on the seedier side of Konoha. This was where hard-luck women smoked on the street corners, trying to look lonely so a guy with cash to spare would consider picking up her flashily garbed form. This was where a major gang war had just exploded into a bedlam of guns and blades just last week before the police started rounding them up like cattle. This was where if you looked at someone the wrong way, you got stabbed. This was where a child pornography ring had been broken up last month. Clearly the street and its inhabitants needed to take some biblical values to heart.

Every part of his moral fiber screamed that he should turn away, find another way to get the money in time, but he knew that he couldn't do it unless he sold every piece of property that he owned right down to the clothes on his back and that would only be able to cut his debt infinitesimally. What he intended to do, just so that he could keep his apartment, it was unthinkable. He couldn't, he shouldn't—but he must.

Solemn duty originating from his will to survive in the world, he acknowledged the fact that there was no sense in dallying further, seeing as his future housing situation depended on this. Upon entrance, he was ushered to a room to conduct an interview to assess whether or not he was suited for the position he sought. There was nothing comforting about the area, in fact it rather looked like a police interrogation chamber and that set his already strung nerves on edge. His roommate had assured him that while they were in an undesirable area, they were about to move, so he really shouldn't worry about the quality of the people who he'd be working with. He crossed his hands on the table and looked dead at the person sitting across from him. For a moment, he wished he had a breath mint. One couldn't start an interview with halitosis.

"So, let's start with the basics," The interviewer said, directing the video camera towards him. The red eye glared at him, prodding him into spilling his personal information as it calmly recorded.

"My name is Uzumaki Naruto, I'm twenty-four, and um…" He was suddenly at a loss for words. What was one supposed to say in such a situation?

"Tell us why you're here," the man prompted, the camera zooming in slightly.

"For starters, my roommate spent our rent money so he could buy a PS3 and we're going to get evicted in two days if we can't come up with the money quick. Then, one girl I've been dating for nine years dumped me for her best friend." Figuring he should clarify, Naruto added, "Her best girl friend."

"Harsh." the cameraman nodded sympathetically, knowing the pain of heartbreak had sent many a man into a downward spiral that wrecked them here to begin their recovery.

"I mean, I thought we had something, you know? Then she says she's been seeing Ino—her friend—behind my back for three years! And to top it all off, she told me this on my birthday! It's just not fair!" Naruto felt tears prickling in the corners of his eyes at the thought of how brutally he'd been dumped.

"Would you like a tissue?"

"Yes, please."

After a few moments during which the interviewers comforted the upset blonde, the questions resumed and got more personal. Extremely personal.

"Now, it's very important that you answer the following questions truthfully because we don't want any of our people getting sick, okay?"

Naruto wiped his eyes on his sleeve. "Okay."

"Do you have any STDs at all, including HIV?"

He should've expected these sorts of questions, but he wasn't going to freak out about them. "No."

"When was the last time you had sex?"

Naruto hated having to admit this because he found it shameful that he still was having issues getting over Sakura. All his guy friends teased him for not having found another woman by now. "A few months ago."

"You're so damn deprived…" the interviewer reached across the table and sympathetically patted the blonde on the arm. No man should have to go three days without getting laid. "So, you ever work in the porn business before?"

"I'd thought about it once or twice before, but Sakura would've killed me if I had."

The interviewer chuckled, knowing that women weren't quite fond of porn; they thought that they were all their boyfriends needed. "Yeah, significant others don't always like the thought of you running around banging people for the world to see. That's why I asked mine to join me, but we're getting off track—you mentioned that you were recommended here, right? Can I ask by who? I know almost everyone who works here, so…"

"It was actually my roommate, y'know, the one who spent the rent on a PS3 that he won't even let me play because he's a total douchebag. His name is Uchiha Sasuke. Familiar with him?"

"Yes! He's scheduled to come in later for a gig. We work with him a lot." Sasuke was one of the most common requests when they asked their viewers who they wanted to see and with good reason, the brunette could deliver the goods like no one else. "But anyway, the base starts at three hundred, but if you're real good, we'll pay up to two thousand in cash."

Naruto flashed a toothy grin when he heard the numbers. Paying off his rent would be easier than he could have ever thought. "Then I suppose I'll just have to do my best, now won't I?"


Naruto kind of liked the room they assigned him to. It had a homey, well-used feeling to it without it being slutty. The covers on the queen sized bed were animal print and he couldn't help but smile at the mild aura of cheesiness it gave off. He wondered when the last time the sheets had been washed and if they were still dirty from a previous user. Flailing around in another man's cum wasn't his idea of a good porno. On the table beside the bed there was a bronze sculpture of a peacock and a nude woman that held a twenty-five watt bulb in a sort of a lamp that was currently turned off. He wondered if he could get one for himself for… Artistic-decorative purposes… Not at all for something dirty… There was another man sitting on the bed with his legs crossed, slender and pale with vivid red hair like a fiery sunrise.

'Must be doing a three-way... I would've liked two girls if I'd known that this was the way it was going to be, but I guess I can't complain. As long as our dicks don't touch, it'll be fine.'

Figuring being rude would get him nowhere, he sat on the bed next to the man and smiled. "My name's Naruto, it's nice to meet you."

"I'm Gaara…"

Naruto couldn't help but notice that this Gaara fellow had such pretty green eyes… They reminded him of Sakura's. And his skin was silky looking, just like hers as well. "Quiet guy, eh? I'm guessing you don't do a lot of porn work, am I right?"

"I've never had sex before…" The redhead says softly, casting his jade eyes to the floor.

"Still got the v-card? Well, this is a terrible way to lose it, thought it's probably better than my pathetic story. Lost it in the backseat of my ex-girlfriend's dad's Maserati." Gaara merely grunted to acknowledge he was listening. "Speaking of women, how long will it take until ours gets in here? I have work in a couple of hours."

Gaara's pretty eyes turned sad and out of habit, Naruto wanted the comfort the owner until he realized they belonged to someone other than his former beloved. Gaara wrung his hands on his lap. "They must not have told you."

"Told me what?"

'We're really sorry, we thought you already knew, what with the recommendation and all.'

Naruto looked in each direction when the unknown voice spoke. "Where's that coming from?"

'We're shooting from behind the mirror, it's like what they have at the police stations.'

The whole situation was becoming rather dodgy. He wanted answers now. "Would someone kindly explain what the hell is going on?"

There was a heavy sigh from the other side of the glass. Usually their actors were debriefed on the workings of their lovely organization before they started getting in the mood. 'What we do here is invite straight, down-on-their-luck boys like you and have them sleep with either gay men or other straight guys. The results are self-explanatory; the people love it. Our subscriptions are at an all-time high. We used to do just regular gay porn, but ever since we created the 'Broke Straight Guys' site, we've been getting more hits than ever.'

Naruto twitched. That was the most fucked up thing he'd ever heard of. "What kind of twisted—"

'You can end the session now, but I'm afraid we can't pay you anything.'

Their previous statement rang through Naruto's head. Paying straight men to sleep with…? "Gaara, are you straight or—"

"I am gay," Gaara said firmly, taking pride in this one small thing.

It'd taken him a series of heartbreaks to achieve knowledge of the complex inner workings of his heart, but when he'd come to that simple realization, it was one of the greatest days of his life. Not 'jump up and click your heels' great, but definitely in the same league. The trouble was finding a good guy that he wanted to be with. Dating had been hellish his entire life, even after he'd graduated from primary school. The last girlfriend he'd had was a lovely young lady by the name of Matsuri who was now just a friend and had taken the dumping gracefully (even if it'd happened in a theater halfway through a movie) and his last boyfriend was a not so lovely gentleman known as Sai, whom he'd had to place multiple restraining orders upon because he didn't know when to quit. Nothing quite like trying to find a bottle of shampoo during a shower and instead discovering your peeping-tom of an ex standing outside the window whispering 'Sai and Gaara together forever' until police action was required! Because you know, stalking is the new way to say 'I love you'.

Most of his dating woes could be attributed to his disdain of excessively forward men which made him realize that it's really not a good idea to search for a lifelong relationship in a club. All the people there want to do is fuck, take a shower, then leave you crying into your pillow because you're unfulfilled and they were terrible in bed.

Meanwhile, Naruto was having severe difficulties understanding why anyone would want to do this. "So you want me to—with him and—fuck a guy—are you all crazy?"

'We completely understand that you're scared, Naruto. A lot of men who aren't secure in their sexuality usually run away from our projects because they're afraid that they'll like it. It's rare that we have anyone strong enough to troop on and do what they came here to do. And we had high expectations for you too…'

The crew knew that the impulsive Naruto had enough pride for them to be able to pull this off without reminding him about the money at stake, which was what they usually had to resort to in order to get the men to buckle and break down into accepting their fate. Reverse psychology was a truly wonderful thing. It's a horrible technique to wield against simple-minded folk, but fantastic for everyone else who needed to get anything done ever. And as they thought, he bought it hook, line, and sinker.

"You want to play it like that? Fine, I accept your challenge!" He literally tackled the off-guard Gaara flat to the bed and began grinding against him with the savageness of a feral wolf in heat.

Maybe he had played into their hands a little too well… 'Easy there, killer! No need to go overboard. Clear your head and start over.'

"We…" Gaara couldn't look his partner-to-be in the eyes as he walked towards the one-way mirror. The abrupt aggressive display had thrown him off-guard. He hoped Naruto wouldn't be like any of the other men. "We should get undressed."

"That would make things—are you okay? You're shivering." Naruto naturally had something inside of his soul that made him want to take care of people, no matter who they were or what they did in their spare time. Even if he was being forced into sleeping with his guy, that didn't make him worry about the redhead any less. Especially since he reminded him of Sakura.

"Will it hurt?" His voice was small and shook with hesitation.

Naruto hadn't even been sure who'd be giving and receiving yet, but Gaara seemed to have already submitted himself to being the bottom. Gently he let his fingers rest on the redhead's cheek. The flesh was even softer than Sakura's and easily thrice as smooth. Gaara blinked once, twice, looking up into the warm azure eyes of the blonde as he felt a callused thumb stroke his cheek. He wondered what Naruto did for a living. It was obviously a job involving physical labor. Heat filled his cheeks to match the temperature of the hands and he pretended to find the wall interesting, letting Naruto keep contact with him. To have these hands all over his body would be heaven…

"Trust me, I hate being in pain as much as any other sane person does, but I promise that we're in this together and we'll finish what we started when we were interviewed."

The film crew turned off their microphone to croon. They rarely saw such sweet displays and knew that they'd without a doubt keep that in the final cut. Naruto really was something special. They'd have to send Sasuke a fruit basket to thank him for directing the man their way. A guy working the soundboard announced that he would snap the blonde up if things went positively, only to be challenged by an intern who seriously risked his job for speaking out of turn.

Gaara found comfort in the words and shed his shirt. The room's temperature was just at the right temperature to make his nipples bud and he folded his arms over his chest for the sake of decency. The irony would strike him later. Ears burning cherry-red, he kept his gaze away from Naruto until his curiosity bested him. Naruto had followed suit in the removal of his upper clothing layer and he could feel Gaara's eyes scanning his muscled torso inquisitively. Slightly uncomfortable that he was being checked out by a man (not to say that it hadn't happened before, he'd gotten whistled at by guys while he worked several times, but it felt horribly awkward on every occasion), Naruto fidgeted and fiddled with the skull-and-crossbones belt he wore as Gaara devoured the visual feast he'd become privy to.

This man obviously took the suggested amount of daily exercise as more than that, a fitness creed that had sculpted him into a fine piece of flesh. He wasn't a muscle-bound gym monkey like others who had hit on Gaara in the bars but there was enough tone to be sexy in his inexperienced eyes. Had he bothered to ask he would've learned that Naruto worked in construction and had to drag around heavy shit all the time, thus an automatic workout every day that turned him into the creature of beauty he was now. (He also had taken up an evening job when he found out Sasuke had wasted their cash, but that was another matter completely.) Anatomy had been Gaara's best subject in school, but right now he couldn't think seriously enough to label the pieces of the human puzzle properly and could only think in layman's terms. Those tight abs, those broad shoulders, that powerful neck that held his life vein… Gaara wanted so badly to touch him, restraining himself for fear of the godly illusion disappearing under his fingertips. He must be dreaming. He prayed he would never wake up.

Gaara felt his mouth water and twinges of lust sent his groin astir. Wilderness became Naruto and the virgin's mind drifted towards nature documentaries he'd seen before of free-range horses. Stallions galloped over the plains nobly as they fled from the creature that no beast had ever managed to defeat... The perfect animal for Naruto. But he had to descend—actually, it was more of a crash—back to reality when he realized that his stallion was clearly uncomfortable with his 'oh-sweet-god-please-take-me-now-you're-so-fucking-hot-I-want-to-bake-cookies-on-you' stare.

The crew thought it fitting to give them a push in the right direction. 'Don't be afraid to ask for what you want, boys. Pining silently doesn't make things happen. That stuff from 'The Secret' is bullshit, the law of attraction doesn't work that way so remember to verbalize!'

Gaara rested his hands softly on the skull belt buckle and he could feel Naruto break into a cold sweat from being touched so intimately by another man. "May I?"

"Sure, I guess…" Naruto looked away as the slender fingers tightened their grip.

The belt, being more of an accessory than a necessity to keep his pants up, came undone easily and Gaara unbuttoned and unzipped the jeans that fit so snugly on Naruto's waist. "Sorry if this is awkward…"

"It's okay… Um…" Oh god, that look... When it came from a woman, he didn't mind and when it came from Sakura, he thought it was great. Those pretty green eyes shone with a determination to be devoted to him during this session. He was between wanting to hold him (he really did look quite a bit like Sakura) and to run screaming out of the building.

Jitterier than a cat on a hot tin roof from the prolonged contact, Naruto was relieved when Gaara let him take off his own jeans to avoid the discomfort of a straight man being undressed by a gay one. When he'd removed the pants, he noticed that Gaara had done the same and now they stood facing one another, wearing nothing but underwear and socks. Gaara wore navy blue briefs (they were comfortable) and Naruto had boxers with a bear eating honey printed over his bum with the phrase 'Sweet Cheeks' next to the image. The crew hurriedly clicked the microphone off again so they could burst into laughter over Naruto's interesting choice in undergarments.

"Make sure to get a close-up shot of that, the viewers will love it!"

Outside the recording room, the two were at a stifling stalemate. The situation was reminiscent of a battle when only the last two warriors remained, neither one wanting to fight because they were too tired either physically or psychologically. Finally, Naruto slips off his socks, wriggles his toes, and drops his boxers. Gaara is caught in the talon-like clutches of awe once more. Every single strand of muscle fiber joined together to make a work of art that was his to view. How many others had seen what he did now?

'We see you're still not quite enthused about this situation.'

"Well excuse me for not getting turned on by a guy," Naruto replied sourly, fighting the urge to cover his limp manhood with anything and sending a brief scowl in the direction of the mirror wall as punishment for the unnecessary comment. He figured Gaara must be fed up with them too. "Should we—I'll wait until you're finished with that."

'That' referred to the way Gaara was hopping around as he tried to remove his own socks. Shame turned his entire body pink with blush and he honestly wished he'd worn sandals today. Though he was sure Naruto would laugh at him, the blonde exerted an amazing amount of patience for him. After a very unsexy fall, he managed to peel them off and realized that maybe the stereotype that men would rather have sex with their socks on had more weight to it than he thought.

Once he resumed surveying Naruto like a hungry beast, he had a feeling that he was expected to make the first move and tried to think what would be appropriate. They were supposed to be filming porn, after all. Trembling as he stood before the stallion, he rested his hand on the burnished chest and felt it tighten briefly in anxiety. That was okay. He understood. He kissed Naruto beneath the chin, knowing that a go at his lips would likely get him flung across the room, and began trailing down his body. Momentarily he stopped at a nipple to nip at it gently like he'd seen done before, sliding lower still until he reached a patch of golden curls and was nearly on his knees. He could still walk out on this if he wanted.

He dropped to his knees fully and looked at the flaccid cock staring him in the face, wondering how to start.

"Just act naturally, all it is is some licking and sucking," Naruto said assuringly, even going so far as to pat Gaara on the head like a child. He remembered when he'd taught Sakura how to suck dick before she…

In a strange way, this scenario was giving him a case of nostalgic fuzzies. The nostalgia was soon replaced by something else as Gaara took the organ in his hands like it was the Holy Grail and kissed the tip, flicking his tongue over the glans as he did so. His thin lips parted sensually over the head and suckled at it, caressing the bulbous piece lovingly with his tongue. Good god almighty, he was a natural.

Regardless of gender, this felt good, so he wasn't about to complain. Now slowly hardening, Naruto sighed contentedly as Gaara licked up, down, and all around his shaft while doing some extraordinarily interesting things with his balls. Once he glanced down and caught Gaara sneaking a hopeful peek at him, eyes wondering if his work was satisfactory. He responded with a warm smile that cemented the deal and made Gaara happy that he was going to give it up to this person, despite him being practically a stranger.

"I think this'll be good enough for a fuck, don't you?" Naruto figured himself sufficiently hard enough to follow through with this crazy ordeal so he could procure his rent money once and for all.

Figuring that they had one more shot to entice the blonde, the crew called, 'Hey Gaara, would you mind showing us your ass?'

The redhead turned his tail to the mirror wall and slid down his painfully tight briefs slightly to reveal his round, pale bum. "Like this?"

'Perfect! Check out that virgin ass, boys. We're going to capture what I think will be a beautiful bang! Hey Naruto, spank it!' Lost in the energy much like one at a frat boy party, he smacked Gaara's rump merrily, watching the red handprint emerge, then fade. 'We'll leave you two alone now, so try not to disappoint us, okay?"

Neither of them paid any mind to this comment.

"Where do you think they keep the lube in this place? I just can't slap it, spit on it, and fuck you. It's not enough." Naruto had learned this the hard way with Sakura. He'd done anal with her a few times, but she hated it with a passion and literally told him she'd rather fuck a dog than do it doggy style with him again and so it was no longer something that had been brought up in the bedroom.

"Check the nightstand," Gaara suggested, removing the briefs completely.

Sure enough, there was the ultimate tool for the dirty deeds soon to follow locate in its drawer next to a bible. He pumped himself a couple of times before applying it to his manhood, hoping that a little self-love would get him through this. It reminded him of something that one of his weird Greek teachers had said to his English class in high school. To become a real man, you had to sleep with another man, a goat, and—well, he could never remember what the third thing was because the class had gone into an uproar and drowned it out. Looking back on it, that probably explained why the teacher always smelled like goats.

If that was true, then he was a bit leery about taking the first step towards 'true' manhood. Gaara was sweet and all, but it didn't erase the fact that he was a freakin' dude. He had a penis and a y chromosome. Testosterone filled his veins like cars on a rush hour highway. No matter how much he looked like Sakura, no matter how much he blushed, no matter how pretty those green eyes were when they sparkled at him so lustfully as his sumptuous lips parted to kiss him all over his body—bad thoughts! Very, very bad thoughts! He pinched his arm to awaken himself from his dark imaginings and calmly reminded himself that Gaara was a guy, albeit an extremely attractive one who gave amazing head. Yes. He was very, very pretty. And his pale skin turned pink when he was being bashful and he touched his lips when he was nervous and squirmed when he was turned on but wasn't sure if it was okay to be and had a willowy figure that was more masculine than feminine but there was enough discrepancy between the types that if he was in a dark room at a whorehouse at midnight he would totally fuck him because he thought he was just a flat girl and he would probably be a screamer because that's what they say about quiet folk and—Oh for god's sake, this was ridiculous! Gaara was a man! That's M-to the A-to the mother fucking N! And Naruto, for your information, knew he was straight to the umpteenth power! He was so straight that he put meter-sticks to shame! He liked boobies!

"Here, you better prepare yourself." Naruto hoped he hadn't said it coldly, but he needed to get these horrendous thoughts out of his mind.

He tossed the bottle in the general location where he thought Gaara to be in, averting his eyes because he knew he'd lose his nerve if he saw the other man nude. All he saw of the redhead was an ankle. A nice, tight ankle. And you know that they said that tight ankles meant that the person was tight in other places—

'Jesus H Christ, what's wrong with me today? I love boobies, I really do! Men aren't soft like girls and they don't smell as nice as them either!'

Never mind that Gaara was as soft as a girl. Never mind that he smelled like an alpine forest. That was just a one in a million fluke. He wished he was just the teensiest bit tipsy so he could get through this. Though he was a hundred percent sure that he was straight, he knew that what the man said through the speaker box at the beginning was correct. He was afraid that he'd like this—he didn't even dare think of calling it what it was.

"I'm ready if you are," Gaara's soft tenor voice said and Naruto took a deep breath and made his way to the bed.

Gaara's cock was alarmingly stiff, engorged to the point of bursting and Naruto couldn't help but notice. "You really like me, huh?"

Blush, squirm, squirm…"Yeah, I guess so…"

This was an understatement in the grossest sense. Gaara had been called in six times before this to do a session, but he ran away from every single one of them because the men's overpowering presence discomforted him to a point of fright. The first man was a gorilla of a beast with a finely trimmed carpet on his chest and enough facial hair to make several toupees and then several more toupees for the original toupees to wear. The second had a rape-fantasy that he failed to mention and ended up in the hospital after Gaara retaliated violently for being jumped. The third explained his fascination with water-sports in disturbing depth and seemed surprised when Gaara sprinted out the door after an attempted golden shower. The fourth actually walked out on Gaara once he realized that his penis was smaller than that of his virgin partner's and felt offended that someone who was seasoned with experience couldn't compare to Gaara's completely normal six and a half inches. The fifth got arrested when he brandished a Swiss army knife and began cutting Gaara. The sixth had high blood pressure and with one look at Gaara he passed out, making him the second intended partner of his who got put in the hospital. Gaara was known around the office as Nike, not for the shoe, but rather the ancient goddess of runners due to his unfortunate fleeing tendency.

Now, they wouldn't be able to call him that because he'd reached his lucky number seven. He'd liked him the minute he'd walked in and greeted him so warmly. The kindness he'd received continually astonished him, he being a wallflower sort who often went unnoticed. Naruto entranced him and he would gladly give himself over to the straight man wholeheartedly.

Naruto wasn't about to bother with foreplay, there was no time for that. He sat on his heels between Gaara's legs, keeping his eyes safely above waist level. This was for his rent!

"Lay back and try to relax. This'll be a little uncomfortable." He muttered something about not believing where he was about to stick his dick. "I'm sorry about having you to suck me earlier so I could... You know…"

"I don't mind. It doesn't matter to me as long as it's you I'm sucking." Gaara surprised himself thoroughly with that comment and this continued when he rubbed his palm against the flat stomach of the blonde, smiling slightly. "So well built… You must work out a lot."

"Um…" Hearing this shocked him. No one had ever said something like that to him before, not even Sakura, whom he practically had to fight tooth and nail to persuade into fellating him and whose compliments were more along the lines of 'you're a semi-decent human being' rather than those relating to his physical appearance. It was strangely flattering. "Thanks? I, um, have a very physical job… Um… I think we should start with the sex stuff now?"

"I'll leave myself in your capable hands," Gaara said, taking the submissive position and closing his eyes, looking completely at rest.

"Following the standards of porn, I'm supposed to use some dirty line on you now, but I can't think of anything that wouldn't make me come off as really, really gay… So, yeah…"

Naruto slipped his hands under Gaara's rear and parted the cheeks briefly to allow himself to slide inside. The ankles had not lied. Had his first time with Sakura been like this as well? He couldn't remember. All he knew now was how Gaara's face contorted slightly at the intrusion and how those pretty green eyes hazed over when he was suspended between a waiting period and pleasure soon to come. Such lovely eyes…

Gaara felt full of a person that at this moment in time he loved to a point of disturbance. To keep this feeling, he thought that it was possible to become like Sai, a shadow that would follow this person to the ends of the earth and beyond. He wanted to dog Naruto's heels until he realized Gaara was his somebody (and vice versa) for ever and all time thereafter to love faithfully. All he could think right now was, 'Tell me you're that somebody…'

Naruto set a slow, easy rhythm to get himself started, trying to ignore the fact that there was an erection pressing eagerly against his stomach. Gaara matched his breathing to the strokes and the moment was Zen-like. But porn wasn't about that, the viewers wanted a gratifying fuck, so Naruto knew he'd have to deliver. His hips began snapping forward in staccato bursts and if Gaara had wanted to open his eyes, there was no way he could do it now. Instead, his arms snaked around the warm neck he'd admired earlier to pull him closer, deeper, moaning out his delights. This was the moment he'd been waiting for since puberty. His first time. He'd gotten this close to doing it with Sai, but he was glad he'd held out for today.

"A little harder… Yeah…" Gaara didn't know if it was really okay to say what he wanted, but it was all for the sake of experience. It took all of his mental strength to refrain from screaming and he tried to regulate his breathing in fast, heavy pants that were inevitably interrupted by more sounds of bliss.

Loathe saying it as he will, Naruto couldn't help but find the noises arousing and his uncertain manhood solidified itself inside Gaara as he fulfilled the redhead's wishes. But he was still straight. Totally straight. Yes sirree bob, he was like a line of cocaine.

Good camera fodder as it may be, Naruto knew the show wouldn't really start until he found the g-spot and began delivering the truest pleasure and that the size of his payoff depended on it. Gaara, of course, was thinking nothing of these technicalities and was solely focused on the moment when his virginity would dissolve in a wash of semen. And then the magical thing happened as Naruto found the pleasure center. Gaara's control snapped, letting loose a shriek that pierced the high heavens and Naruto dedicated himself to keeping the angle, the peculiar passion blinding him to the fact that Gaara had neither breasts nor vulva and made his first vocalization, a low grunt that ran into another until they both were making a steady stream of noise including the creaks from the bed, the rustling of the sheets, and the slight fleshy slap of Naruto's balls smacking against Gaara's entrance.

Sex with Sakura had never been like this. She merely sat back and took it like a blow-up doll made of flesh and blood. Gaara was a scientific law at its finest. Each action got a reaction and they were all equally glorious. Before he realized it, Naruto found himself teetering on the edge of his climax. He nailed the abused prostate one more time and spilled his seed into Gaara. When he pulled out Gaara was sweating, but still hard. He was fantastically resilient for a virgin. They exchanged a 'what now?' look. Naruto knew he had to get Gaara off to get paid, so he needed a game plan.

Turns out that he didn't need one because Gaara got up on his haunches, taking his erect cock and rubbing it against the softening one that had just spent itself, pushing his hips insistently to gain friction. "Please, touch me…"

Naruto looked away at the provocative pose. He was no longer blind to Gaara's masculinity. Fight or flight instincts told him to go with the latter, but sense overruled them and he said, "Just so you know, I'm not putting my mouth on shit."

"I didn't mean that."

Naruto's hand went down tentatively, like he expected the flesh to burn him. When it didn't, he closed his eyes and pretended that he wasn't holding another man's dick with his own. Gaara accepted this and relinquished himself to the pleasure of the cock and the hand his manhood was caught between. It wasn't long before he came, spurting the thick liquid and dribbling it on Naruto's hand when the tiny spasms lacked the energy to propel it further. Knowing that the last thing Naruto wanted was to be covered in sperm, he lowered his mouth to the spots where it landed and licked it off, sampling himself like a connoisseur. There was an innate bitterness to it, but it wasn't repulsive enough to make him change his mind. So he licked away like it was something he did on a regular basis. This entranced Naruto beyond logical explanation. Sakura had hated the taste of cum. Yet the person who looked just a little like her had no trouble lapping it up. This definitely had his full attention.

Taking advantage of this and using a boldness he didn't realize he had, Gaara slipped his hand between his milky thighs, pausing momentarily as he gazed coolly at Naruto, then retracted the appendage. The slim index finger was covered in Naruto's semen and Naruto watched as Gaara raised it to his lips and sucked it away, sliding the finger in and out of his mouth slowly, driving Naruto wild for reasons unknown to his addled brain. The sight was sexy to say the least. Too sexy. Damn this whole afternoon…

Imagine Gaara's surprise when he saw blood flowing back into Naruto's manhood and swelling to mast. A hand clamped down on his wrist and tugged him forward as Naruto fell backwards onto the sheets once more. When he tried to wriggle away from the blonde, he was held captive by the ice blue stare and was put into a trance like a mouse before a snake. The powerful golden hands lifted Gaara by the waist and situated him snugly on his fresh erection.

"What're you—Ah!"

Naruto's hips jerked up, driving his head into Gaara's prostate as the redhead quickly regained his arousal state as well. Gaara steadied himself by placing his hands on the solid chest beneath him, legs going their separate ways as they experienced the wonders of the Amazon. Naruto no longer gave a damn about gender in this sole moment when the beautiful being above him said his name over and over again like it was a charm to save him from all the world's woes. Naruto, Naruto, Naruto was the only word that passed those pale lips and he knew the devotion he'd seen in those pretty green eyes at the beginning was true.

This session was significantly shorter than the first, but the crew still cheered when Naruto came, again followed by Gaara, whose cock indiscriminately spilled its load on the blonde's upper body. He quickly took care of his product the same way he had the first time, cleaning it from Naruto's neck and cheeks with his tongue because he knew the blonde liked it. There was one spot left, on Naruto's plump lips and Gaara lapped it up carefully, searching for signs of hostility that would put him in the hospital. When he found none, he ended with a tender kiss to show his appreciation for having been given the gift of this experience. It was one-sided; Naruto didn't accept or reject it, simply allowed it to happen because he was too tired to do anything else. Gaara demounted and laid beside his stallion, his special somebody for this one encounter, chest rising and falling after the successful denouement of their conjoined labor.

A moment of silence passes before Naruto speaks again. "Do you want to get a coffee sometime?"

"Sure." Thinking it would be too forward to touch the blonde who was probably extremely busy questioning his sexuality, Gaara said, "Thanks."

"You're welcome?" He had no idea what he was being thanked for, but sincere gratitude was an endangered life form in his simple world and he ushered it in as best he could.

"Well, Mister Uzumaki, I would like to thank you for an excellent show. Here's your reward!" The man who'd interviewed him gave him a manila envelope filled with bills whose numbers were currently unknown to the construction worker.

He intended to count them later. The two first things he'd do with this money were very clear in his mind and he knew they wouldn't change. First and foremost, he'd pay off his rent so the landlady would stop hanging the threat of eviction over his head. And second, he was going to buy a cup of coffee for the man beside him with the pretty green eyes.


And here we end… I've been racking up the one-shots lately…

Chi: What's the point of them? Why not work on your regular stories like you're supposed to and stop making the readers threaten to lock you in a basement if you don't update soon?

Tenshi: How do you think daREALShikamaru got famous(ish?) in the NaruGaa world?

Chi: Smutty one-shots.

Tenshi: Exactly! Or at least, that's what she says when I asked her during my beta work for her… Some of the greatest NaruGaa writers are known for their one-shots!

Chi: Oh really?

Tenshi: Unless you're Dreaming-of-a-Nightmare who had amazing success with Detrimental Benefits, cneko2 with her Family of Demons series that is kinda pretty legendary among the people who've been writing this pairing for a while and that she recently took up again, or Yellow kiwi with the also legendary, indispensable GaaNaru (yes, it stands out partially because there's more NaruGaa fics overall) To Adore the Hellish and its sequel To Admire the Sinful, which by the way has OVER SIX HUNDRED COMMENTS. That is some serious fucking charisma! And especially so because it's not like the NaruGaa pairing has fans flying out the ass like SasuNaru does! That is like every single NaruGaaNaru fan in the English sector commenting on every chapter! *fans self to prevent over-heating*

Chi: Are you finished?

Tenshi: Almost. But anyway, make sure to give your love to the newer kids. I've been doing this shit for four years now and it kills me when I see great fics that only have forty-three comments on them by the time they're over. I suggest Boyue with her wonderful fic Catalyst (Where'd she go, nobody knows… I haven't seen her post anything since the end of it…), with pretty much everything of hers (she's got several top-shelf fics out now), and Gaaras-Gothic-Ninja-Sappy-Sue has been with us for the last year(ish) and if you are going to read at least one thing by her just to say that you did, I would suggest Adulterium. (P.S. Don't overlook Hunger by mm-chan, that fic doesn't get nearly half of the love it deserves and it's another one of the few great GaaNaru fics in which Gaara totally isn't out of character and overly angsty.) Trust me, these people will move you! Or something… I think I actually contradicted myself somewhere in there with the whole 'legends of NaruGaaNaru with their one-shots'…

That's all I have to say for now. If you bothered to read this rant, then thank you for your patience. If you were mentioned in this rant, that means you have officially gotten the Tenshi bump. May you have long success and many comments to come. And not a lot of phantom favers who don't bother to tell you why they like your story in the first place.

Until next time…