Title: Rogues making dinner
Authors: ClonTrag & Lora Kael
Characters: Wes, Hobbie, Luke, Corran and of course the envy of all Corellians. ;)
Disclaimer: We don't own sw...never did, never will. You want to give us money? Fine, but not for our ff... GL won't like it, y'know.
Summary: Automated laser onion choppers, meet eating salad and force sensitive garlic? Well, this is a story about Rogue Squadron.
Notes: This was started one afternoon in February in Lora's apartment when we were making lasagne for dinner and it was finished an afternoon in September in Trager's room after having scared Trager's niece off. So it's not like it took long to write at all. Please review. :D
"Onion, salad, meet, tomatoes, cheese, lasagne plates. Think we forgot anything?" Wes looked over at Hobbie.
"No, probably not. You want to chop the onions then I'll take the salad?"
"Sure." Wes said throwing the salad across the table. Hobbie caught it and started looking for a knife.
In the meantime Wes dug out the automated laser onion chopper. "Got any idea how to use this?"
Hobbie looked up at him. "You haven't used it before?"
"No, Tycho wouldn't let me." Wes said fumbling with the machine. Wes looked back up at his wingman. "Have you?"
Hobbie shook his head. "No, but I have seen Corran do it. If he can do it so can we!"
"Yeah, everybody knows Corellians can't cook, so this can only end up better than whatever Corran made!"
The two friends worked in silence for a couple of minutes, none of them getting anywhere. The silence were broken by the entry of Rogues Squadrons two force sensitive pilots, Corran and Luke.
"What're you doing?" Corran asked.
"Cooking!" Wes answered, "So you shouldn't be here. No one wants a corellian in the kitchen!"
"Hey, that's not fair! I'm a better cook than the two of you together!" Corran protested.
"Any way, what are you cooking?" Luke asked, not in the mood to hear this particular discussion again.
"Lasagne." Wes said with a proud smile, "True pilot food!"
"So… where is the garlic?" Corran asked going through the foodstuff on the table.
"Garlic?" Wes asked.
"Oops…" Hobbie said realising that they had indeed forgotten something, "We can't make real lasagne without garlic!"
"Don't worry; I got some lying in my quarters." Luke said.
Corran looked questioning at him. "Why in space do you have garlic in your quarters?" he asked.
"To keep away the bad spirits." Luke said jokingly, "I'll just go and get it for you. Unless of course you don't want to make real lasagne."
"No, please, get it." Wes almost begged.
Luke smiled and turned to leave. "Coming, Corran?" Corran nodded and followed the jedi out.
When they where once again just two pilots in the kitchen, Wes turned back to his automated laser onion chopper and Hobbie returned to his salad.
"Argh!!! Help me! I'm being attacked by a meat eating green plant!" Hobbie stood there waving his hand; the salad had latched onto one of his fingers. Immediately Wes let go of the machine he was trying to get to work and reached for his blaster. As Wes aimed at Hobbies fast moving hand and the salad, the onion chopper started to spin around. At the same time Wedge entered the kitchen at a fast trot stopping short just inside the door looking at the hilarious scene unfolding in the kitchen. Just then the onion chopper exploded. The half chopped onion flew out hiding Wedge squarely in the face. At the same time Wes fired his blaster hitting the salad and spraying it all over the walls and cabinets.
"What do you think you're doing!?!" Wedge sputtered.
"Err, well, lasagne… Sir." Wes said. Wedge looked very strictly at him making Wes straighten up and stand at attention. When Hobbie did not follow, Wes reached out and poked his arm. Hobbie looked up at his wingmate for at second then retuned his gaze to his finger.
"Do you think it is poisonous?" He asked. Wedge starred at him in disbelief.
"Attention!" He commanded loudly. Both Wes' and Hobbies military training took over; they forgot all about Hobbie's finger and both jumped to attention. At this moment Luke and Corran returned with the garlic stopping next to Wedge.
"What have you done this time?" Luke asked disbelieving.
Corran looked at the burned pieces of salad on the floor. "I think someone has fired a blaster while we were gone, Luke."
Wedge turned to look at the corellian pilot. "You think?"
Luke shook his head in exasperation.
"Yeah, I think so." Corran said then turning towards Wes and Hobbie, who were still standing at attention, he continued. "When you're done with shooting practise we have the garlic here."
"It was NOT shooting practise; the salad bit Hobbie!" Wes said with clenched teeth.
"The salad did what??" Wedge and Corran said in unison.
"And we still don't know if the salad was poisonous." Hobbie said, "Who bought it?"
"Weren't it the two of you that shopped for dinner?" Corran said giving his best representation of a genuine perplexed Corsec officer.
"Corsecs…" Wes growled under his breath.
"Which means that the two of you get to clean up this place and Luke and Corran get to finish dinner." Wedge said with an evil grin.
Wes opened his mouth to protest, but was cut of by Wedge. "Don't even think it, lieutenant! I want dinner tonight!" he stated his voice leaving no room for debate. He turned on his heals and left the kitchen leaving two stunned and two less stunned pilots behind.
Luke and Corran exchanged an evil grin that just kept getting bigger.
"Well, you better get to work." Luke said, reaching for the automated laser onion chopper. Wes looked at him, his face clearly showing that he had no intention of cleaning the kitchen, until suddenly a sponge and bucket came soaring up in front of him.
"I think the cleaning stuff is fond of you and probably eager to get to work." Corran said his grin growing even more.
"I'm going to get you for this." Wes swore and took hold of the bucket that kept bumping into him. Then Wes turned towards Hobbie, who was still looking at his finger. "You clean the walls and cabinets and I'll do the floor."
"But what about my finger?" Hobbie said sounding truly pitiful, "We still don't know if it is poisonous."
"So, go and get it checked out," Wes said rolling his eyes, "After you are done cleaning."
"Corran, you take care of the garlic and I'll finish this mess." Luke said having put on his commander-tone.
Hobbie and Wes grumpily started cleaning while Luke and Corran got to work on the food.
After a couple of minutes of silence, Corran suddenly exclaimed. "Luke, what's wrong with this garlic?"
Luke turned towards him trying not to smile, and almost succeeding. "Is something wrong, Corran?"
Corran's eyes narrowed. "Why do I get the feeling that something, I don't know about, is going on here?"
Luke looked at him innocently. "I don't know what you are talking about."
Corran sent him a murderous glare that would make just about anybody confess everything. "These garlic is sprouting too fast!"
"Oh, that." Luke said.
Wes and Hobbie looked up from their cleaning to follow the conversation. It sounded like it might get real interesting.
"Are you going to explain to me what is going on with this garlic or do I have to threaten you with my lightsaber first?" Corran asked.
"Like you could beat me." Luke said, a bit of the Tatooine farm boy surfacing. Then trying to look very serious he added: "It's force sensitive."
"It's WHAT?!" Corran stared at him absolutely disbelieving, Wes and Hobbie looking just as stunned.
"Force sensitive" Luke said again calmly.
"How did garlic become force sensitive?? It's a vegetable!"
"Well, I experimented a little with using the Force to make things grow and it worked very well on the garlic. So well in fact that it now starts growing all by itself."
"Then how am I supposed to chop this?" Corran demanded.
"Guess you'll just have to be faster than the garlic." Luke said with a smile. "Consider it good training."
"Someday I'm gonna get you for this." Corran swore.
"I don't think so, but keep dreaming." Luke smiled and turned to Wes and Hobbie. "What are you two staring at?"
Corran returned his attention to the garlic and tried to chop faster than they could sprout, which he was not quite successful with.
A little while later as Luke was done with the onions and the rest of the salad he looked at Corran and said. "Corran, so you are so lousy at that!"
"There is no try."
"I hate it when you say that! If you think it is that easy you can do it!"
"Sure." Luke smiled and took the knife.
A moment later the garlic was chopped and Corran was swearing some choice corellian curses.
"You are cheating. I know you are cheating." Corran mumbled.
"Does that mean we're eating soon?" Hobbie asked looking up from his cleaning.
The two pilots on cleaning duty were almost done and the kitchen was actually starting to look clean.
"Sure, we just need to put it together now." Luke said. "Corran, why don't you stir the meet sauce and I'll take care of the rest."
"Sure." Corran said, "As long as it is not force sensitive."
"It isn't, unless the garlic can affect the rest of the ingredients."
"Oh, no I'm NOT touching that!" Corran stated, "As a matter of fact I think I'm leaving."
"No, you're not." Luke said, his commander voice returning. "You are gonna do what I tell you to."
"Oh, no, that trick doesn't work with me."
"No, trick. I out-rank you."
"You resigned. Remember?"
"I still out rank you, knight."
"This is so unfair!" Corran said with a sigh and started stirring the sauce.
By the time Wes and Hobbie was finished with the cleaning, Luke and Corran was putting the lasagne in the oven.
"Why don't you guys set the table then I'll get everybody else?" Corran said.
The other three nodded wondering why Corran would choose the worst job. The Rogues had an agreement that they did not use their comlinks to call for dinner unless they were of base and it was always some job to find everybody.
"Okay…" Luke said warily giving Corran a suspicious look.
Corran just smiled back at him and left the kitchen.
Ten minutes later the table was set and everybody was by the table.
"How did you do it so fast?" Wes demanded.
Corran just smiled widely at him. "Force sensitive, remember?"
Wes slammed a fist into the table, making the plates jump. "CHEATER!"
Wedge looked at the two of them. "Lasagne's ready, so stop arguing, sit down and eat! That is an order!"