This is a songfic for Nightwish's song "Dead Boy's Poem". So, the poem is part of the lyrics of the song. I also thought about making a oneshot with Ed dead and Al alive, but with the song "Memories" of Within Temptation.
This may look like it but...it is NOT Elricest!
Others songs I listened were "My Immortal" and "Before The Dawn" by Evanescence, even tho I'm not much of a fan of Evanescence anymore.
Note: When I say "War" I'm talking about the Nazi's rise of power.
Dead Boy's Poem
Edward Elric stared at the gravestone in front of him.
The Always Living Soul
The man had a hard time believing he was standing in front of the grave of the person he had loved the most in the whole wide world, in the whole wide Universe. He didn't want to believe, he wanted to believe this was a nightmare and soon he would wake up, gaze at the bed by his side and see the sleeping form of his little brother.
But it was impossible, Alphonse Elric was gone.
It all happened so fast, the War had begun and the Elrics accidentally got into the crossfire. Edward just had some minor injuries. Alphonse was killed by two bullets in the chest. It wasn't a slow death, but it wasn't quick enough for Alphonse to avoid pain.
And for Edward to avoid hope.
They barely had chance to say goodbye. Al just told him 'I love you' and closed his eyes, never to be opened again. It was the death of one soul and a half. Half of Edward died that day as well, died the moment Alphonse's eyes darkened, drained of light and life, just to become darkness and death.
It was all blurry from then.
Edward couldn't remember much of what happened the days later, he remember all the countless tears he shed, he remembered burning his brother's corpse and burying an urn with his little brother's ashes.
It was next to a beach; Alphonse liked the soothing sound of the ocean. They moved in a house by the shore not long ago, before the War started. And now, Alphonse was buried by the house, by the sound of the waves he used to love with so much passion.
Edward cried and cried as he placed his hand over the gravestone.
This can't be happening, this must be a nightmare, can't be real. Al…Alphonse…you're not dead, are you? Please, please wake me up and tell me this is not real. I just…can't live without you, I just can't. You're my other half, my reason for living, everything I've ever done I did it for you.
He learned to walk just to teach Al how to walk.
He learned to talk just to teach Al how to talk.
He learned to fight just to teach Al how to fight.
He learned alchemy just to teach Al how to do alchemy.
He learned to love just to teach Al how to love.
He learned to live just to teach Al how to live.
And yet you dare to die.
Edward could not fill that hole in his heart, a wound that was created by a stab in the heart the moment Alphonse died. Both Alphonse and Edward were young men; Alphonse didn't even reach the thirties. All the people they saved in the past and yet, they could not save themselves.
"Al…", Edward said as he kneeled in front of the gravestone. "Tell me; are you with Mom up there?"
I wish you were. I wish to believe in God just to know that you still exist out there, in some other realm. Fuck it, Al, why did you had to die? Why did you leave me all alone in here? In another world where I have no one else.
How was he supposed to carry on? Earth was a place where he had no family or friend. They were all they've got. Alphonse lived for Edward, and Edward lived for Alphonse. If one died, what was the purpose for the other one to live? There was none, but Edward knew that his brother wouldn't approve it if he killed himself just to be with him.
"Why? Why Alphonse? Wasn't I good enough for you? Did you wanted to go away from me? Why did you do this to me? Why would you break my heart?", sobbed Edward as he cried and cried over the cold stone.
It was late night; there was neither moon nor stars, just a faint light of the house. Or maybe Edward couldn't see the light, maybe his heart and soul were dead and there was no light in his eyes, no capability to see it anymore.
Just a world in black and gray.
"Every day of my life…I've thought of you. You were the first thought that came to me in the mornings and the last one to fade when I went to sleep. But now we can't be together. Two damned bullets torn us apart, a damned War torn us apart. I just want to know why!"
There was a pressure in Edward's chest. A pressure that was crushing his bones, slowly getting into what remained of his heart. There was something inside him that was slowly eating his heart, consuming it until there would be nothing but a hollow shell, even more hollow than the Suit of Armor his brother had ever been.
Edward collapsed into the ground and cried.
"Alphonse, are you waiting for me somewhere?"
Edward wanted to believe so. Edward wanted to believe that his little brother was still alive in a way, longing to see his older brother. But Edward didn't knew for sure, he never knew nothing for sure. He didn't knew what to do from now on.
"I used to be your shadow, and you used to be my shadow. We were part of each other, we were closer than twins. Why didn't this bond keep us together? Can't you tell me? I can't feel you anymore, I want to feel you."
Edward used to feel Alphonse, even those two years they were separated by worlds. They could feel the other one's soul, leading them, guiding their way, reaching for each other. Giving comfort and solace in hard times, that was the kind of bond the Elric brothers had, an unbreakable bond.
Or so he thought.
"I can't feel you anymore."
"I can't feel anything anymore."
"Why can't you come back?!"
Edward was sure that, if alchemy worked in this side of the Gate, he would have tried to bring Alphonse back, even if it was a homunculus. He just wanted to see that innocent smiling face of his again, he just wanted to see his little brother again.
The man slowly took a piece of paper that was in the pocket of his black suit. "I found your poem…Do you want me to read it?"
There was no answer.
Still, Edward tried to pull himself together and take the tears away at least for some minutes. Then he started to read the poem, slowly and painfully, as if each word was full of venom that was slowly killing him. That poem was all he had left of his younger brother, of his life.
"If you read this line, remember not the hand that wrote it
Remember only the verse, songmaker's cry the one without tears
For I've given this its strength
And it has become my only strength.
Comforting home, mother's lap, chance for immortality
Where being wanted became a thrill I never knew
The sweet piano writing down my life
"Teach me passion for I fear it's gone
Show me love, hold the lorn
So much more I wanted to give to the ones who love me
Time will tell [this bitter farewell]
I live no more to shame nor me nor you
And you... I wish I didn't feel for you anymore..."
That was the only thing his little brother left him, a sappy poem.
The Dead Boy's Poem.
Edward broke down again and put the paper away, only to be blown by ocean wind and be lost forever. But Edward didn't cared anymore, he just wanted to die and reunite with his lost brother, his lost little baby brother.
His lost hope.
His lost life.
His lost all.
Edward wrapped his arms around the gravestone and close his eyes, for a moment he felt warmth, only to be taken way by the wind. Suddenly, all his strength faded away as he embraced the cold stone.
Suddenly, the pain in his heart faded away.
Suddenly, his soul stopped aching.
Suddenly, he felt his heart stop.
Suddenly, he died.
Next morning, Edward Elric was found dead, embracing the tombstone of his younger brother. Murdered by sorrow, murdered by pain, murdered by loneliness, murdered by despair, murdered by hate and murdered by sadness.
Murdered by his own broken heart.
Two days later, his corpse was incinerated.
Three days later, the tombstone of his younger brother was dug up, and his urn open.
On that day, their ashes were mixed in one single golden urn.
On that day, they were together again.