Mysterious voice with bad Italian accent- We're-a BAAAAACK-a with-a The-a Lightning-a Mistake-a!

Audience- (reluctantly applauds)

Mysterious voice with bad Italian accent- Should-a I-a tell-a them-a the-a news-a, Overlord-a Columbus-a?

voice of CC- No, I'll tell them.

Mysterious voice with bad Italian accent- But-a I'm-a the-a narrator-a! That's-a what-a you're-a paying-a me-a for-a!

voice of CC- I'm not paying you at all!

Mysterious voice with bad Italian accent- What-a?! You're-a not-a paying-a me-a? I-a quit-a!



voice of CC- Hmm, I guess he really did quit. I'll have to find a new narrator...

(Scene fades from blackness to Camp Demigod)

Percy- We never heard the news?

"Annabeth"- Why did you make that a question?

Percy- I felt like it!

"Annabeth"- Oh, Spinach Head, I know the news!


"Annabeth"- The first part is this: They're not going to make me pass for 12 anymore! I can be 18!

Percy- But then, your character... is... (long moment of silence) 6 years older... than mine. How is Battle of the Labyrinth going to work?

"Annabeth"- It's not, of course! What are you, stupid?! Because of the new title, "Percy Jackson," it sounds like we're only going to have one movie. And you and I fall in love in this one!

Percy- B-b-but, you're... you're...

"Annabeth"- Spit it out!

Percy- OLD!!!!

Audience- He has a point, you know!

"Annabeth"- So what if I'm old? Half the movie stars wouldn't care! But I'm upset.

Grover- Like, why, man?

"Annabeth"- They might be recasting MY ROLE! I might be forced to be a younger ATHENA!

Audience- (cheers) YAY!

Percy- (trying to hide happiness) YAY! I mean, that's too bad.

"Annabeth"- I know, right? Just because they think I'm too old, those mother (invalid word) potato (invalid word) lampshade (invalid word)s.

voice of CC- See, Alexandra? You're too old to be Annabeth, or even "Annabeth" for that matter! And this movie is rated PG, so stop swearing!

"Annabeth"- But it's all bleeped out-

voice of CC- Do you want to be "Annabeth" or not?

"Annabeth"- Yes. I do.

Percy- Why? Am I really that kissable looking?

Audience- What? Isn't there a script? Oh wait, they don't USE scripts!

"Annabeth"- Well, no, but I want to show off. In case you haven't noticed, I'm not really on the A-list yet.

Percy- I wonder why. (To audience) I really want out of this movie!

Grover- Dude. There's a flashing fish over your head that keeps singing the Spongebob theme song. (Points above Percy's head)

Percy- (looking up) Whoa! This MUST mean I'm a son of Poseidon!

voice of CC- (groans) Oh, you script-readers are always messing things up!

Flashing fish- Ooooooooooh! Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Percy Jackson! Absorbent and yellow and porous is he! Percy Jackson!

Percy- Did that fish call me yellow?

Flashing fish- Percy Jackson! Percy Jackson! Percy Jackson! Per-ceeeeeee Jack-sooooooooooon!

(Flashing fish disappears)

Percy- WOW! I'm a son of the Ocean Guy!

Grover- Groovy.

"Annabeth"- You're the Chosen One!

voice of CC- Wrong movie, Alexandra!

"Annabeth"- Oops. I mean, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named!

voice of CC- Still wrong movie!

"Annabeth"- Oh forget it. You're still the Chosen One!

Percy- I know. I need to defeat Kronos, yadda yadda yadda.

voice of CC- LOGAN! Don't give away spoilers!

Audience- What movie exactly are we watching?

Percy- No wonder the water came when I said Hiya!

(flood of water comes and hits the ground)

Percy- Whoa. I'm a WATERBENDER!

"Annabeth"- No, you're not.


(A flock of owls flies at "Annabeth")

Percy- COOL! I'm also an OWLBENDER!

"Annabeth"- Oh, I give up!

Percy- I need a quest, to get Zeus's lightning bolt and save owls everywhere! C'mon, guys, let's go to the Underworld! I know that the ghosts stole it!

voice of CC- Ooo. Improv! I like it!

Percy- For my quest, I chose Grover, "Annabeth", and Thalia to go with me.

(Thalia bounces in)

Thalia- (squeal) EEEEE!

Grover- Maybe she'll get captured by monsters on the way.

Percy- One can only hope!

Audience- Okay. We're bored!

voice of CC- Nononononono! Wilson! Drag in the monsters!

(a group of stuffed animals are brought in by Wilson)

Thalia- (squeal) EEEEE! This is, like, not fantabulous! AAAAAAAAAAH!

(Thalia is dragged out by stuffed animals)

Grover- We don't have to hope anymore! Ding dong the witch is dead-

Percy- Which old witch?

Both- The wicked witch! Ding dong the wicked-

"Annabeth"- She's not dead. She's imprisoned in your sword, Tiderip.

Percy- (takes out a pencil) This old thing?

"Annabeth"- Uh... yeah. And only Persephone set her free in the Underworld!

Percy- Whaaaaa?

voice of CC- Yes! Suspense! Oh, new narrator!

(new voice is heard)

Whiny voice with girly accent- This is so, like, unfair.

Percy, "Annabeth", and Grover- THALIA!

Whiny voice with girly accent- So, um, like, anyway we have to end this, um, episode.

Audience- Ek. We should have never come.

Whiny voice with girly accent- So, uh, yeah. Bye!

(Percy's head appears on a hypnosis swirling circle, smiling happily)