A/N: Disclaimer. I do not own Twilight or it's characters. (If I did I would not make a story this ridiculous.) but i did own Jacob in a parking lot fight. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this collaboration between me, LivLifeForever and the lovely -Miss Book-. So, I present, Emmett. In. A Box.

Emmett: What? Where am I? How did I get here?

Game Host Voice Coming From A Speaker On The Wall: You signed on. It's a reality show.

Emmett: I don't remember that?

Speaker Voice: The knockout solution that we gave you might result in some memory loss.

Emmett: Knockout…I can't be knocked out. I can't even sleep!

Speaker Voice: Why can't you sleep, Contestant 72?

Emmett: …

Speaker Voice: Would you like some more knockout solution?

Emmett: NO!


Emmett: Where am I?

Speaker Voice: Please be silent 72, Challenge 1 is about to begin.

Emmett: Challenge? What?


Speaker Voice: Identify the fruit.

Emmett: What fruit?

Speaker Voice: The soundclip has already been played. Please no questions.

Emmett: I didn't hear! Play it again! Please! Come on, there mus-Wait! Fruits don't make sounds.

Speaker Voice: Fourteen, twelve, eleven, thirty, fifty-five, nine, seventy-two, incorrect. Rest, correct.

Emmett: This is crap.

Speaker Voice: For all who were incorrect, two weeks added.

Emmett: Added to what?

Speaker Voice: Your stay.

Emmett: How long is that?

Speaker Voice: Two weeks longer than before.

Emmett: How long was it before?

Speaker Voice: Do the math.

Emmett: What math?

(A piece of paper with a math equation falls from the ceiling)

Emmett: What's this?

Speaker Voice: The math.

Emmett: What? OK….(does the math) What does this have to do with me?

Speaker Voice: That was challenge two. You failed.

Emmett: 2+2=4! What kind of a question is 2+2? How could I get that wrong?

Speaker Voice: Two weeks has been added to your sentence.

Emmett: My sentence? Like jail? Rose is going to kill me.

Speaker Voice: Death is not an option.

Emmett: What?

Emmett: Are you still there?


Emmett: I'd like to hear my options then.

Speaker Voice: There are no options. Please, wait until challenge 3.

Emmett: I-…fine.

Emmett: 99 bottles of pop on the wall, 99 bottles

(97 Bottles Later)

Emmett: 2 bottles of pop

Speaker Voice: SILENCE!!!

Speaker Voice: Challenge 3 is about to begin in 3…………2……………1………..Contestant 72, don't kill the kitten.

Emmett: Ok. This shouldn't be too bad.

(Kitten walks into the room, and cuddles Emmett's feet)

Emmett: Hey there kitty. What's your name?

Kitten: Meow

Emmett: Nice name. I'm going to call you Meow Meow.

Meow Meow: Meow

Emmett: Half way there…

Meow Meow: (Jumps up on Emmett and knocks him over)

Emmett: What the F#$!#&!

Speaker Voice: Contestant 72, one week added to your sentence for inappropriate language.

Meow Meow: Meow

Emmett: This is bullcrap. I'm getting out of here. (Starts to claw at the wall)

Speaker Voice: Three weeks added.

Emmett: Waaaaaaaah!

Meow Meow: Meow


Meow Meow: (Starts to claw at wall and makes more progress than Emmett did)

Speaker Voice: Contestant 72, stop setting a bad example for Miss Meow.

Emmett: Oh, so that's her name. Sounds like something Alice would name a cat.

Miss Meow: Meow Meow

Emmett: Meow 3 times if you want me to change you.

Miss Meow: Meow

Speaker Voice: Contestant 72?

Emmett: Yes?

Speaker Voice: Food or Toilet?

Emmett: Guns.

Speaker Voice: Miss Meow?

Miss Meow: Meow

Speaker Voice: Food or Toilet?

Miss Meow: Meow Meow Meow

Emmett: (Runs up behind and bites Miss Meow)

Miss Meow: (Attacks Emmett. Bites Emmett)

Emmett: You can't bite me! I'm a va-…

Miss Meow: Meow?…..

Emmett: Va……n repair man.

Miss Meow: Meow

Speaker Voice: Contestant 72?

Emmett: (sighs) What now?

Speaker Voice: Would you like to try to fall asleep, have us knock you out with knockout gas, or us to start to shooting you with those guns you and Miss Meow suggested earlier?

Emmett: What kind of a question is that?

Speaker Voice: Multiple choice.

Emmett: If I choose knockout gas, then I have no idea what you're going to do with me, but if I choose guns, then I know what you're gunna do, and I know it's not good. I don't know what's worst. So………..I choose knockout gas.

Miss Meow: Meow Meow Meow

Speaker Voice: Very well.



(Machine guns start shooting into the room from the previously un-noticed reward chute.)

Emmett: (Lies down flat on the ground hoping to not get shot.) AHHHHH! I said GAS!

Miss Meow: Meow

(Guns keep firing)

Emmett: HALP ME!!!! ROSE!!!!!!

Miss Meow: Meow?

Emmett: My wife.

Miss Meow: Meow (Insert here a sad smilie and a broken heart symbol)

Emmett: What? You loved me? Then why did you order to have me shot?

Miss Meow: Meow Meow

Emmett: By the way, I don't speak cat.

Miss Meow: Me Neither.

Emmett: Wait- Yu sprekenz ze Eenglish?!?

Miss Meow: Not as well as you (SARCASM!!)

Emmett: Why didn't you say something, in English, earlier?

Miss Meow: You weren't dreaming earlier.

Emmett: Waaa……..

End A/N: Well, that was the first chapter, I hope you enjoyed it. It may seem far-fetched, but that's what makes it fun and random. What else is a crazy obssessed fan supposed to do? Also, Big thanks to Howie Mandell. We wouldn't have this amazing story if he were the least bit successful as an actor. So Thank you Howie, Thank you.