This was originally going to be in the actual fic, however I realised that since I was telling it only from the perspective of the two Doctors, then adding in this scene would ruin the flow. So here it is: Phila, the TARDIS, and a tin of green paint.
THE TARDIS SCENE
A mischievous look blossomed on the Doctor's face.
"I give you full permission to make things as difficult for him as possible," he said airily.
Phila grinned back, wickedly.
"Can I use the paint?"
oo o0o oo
Phila walked down the street with her tin of paint, frowning.
He had to have parked somewhere nearby, but the problem was, there were a lot of streets that counted as 'nearby,' and she had only half an hour to get this done and get back before dinner. Not to mention, the streetlights had already come on and it was getting dark, the last thing she wanted was to be wandering about at night alone.
She walked for a few more minutes…
She moved closer, and stared at it.
She'd heard stories of it, this wonderful, impossible ship that could travel in time, the last of its kind just as the Doctor was. A relic of a different age, of a society that had reached the pinnacle of development before it all went stagnant and then perished in a war that had rocked the cosmos.
On the outside it didn't look like much, just a battered old police phonebox. The only reason Phila even knew what a police phone box was was because her parents had explained it to her.
She could feel the slight humming, even from here.
Phila had an unusually strong telepathic field, she knew, but it wasn't half as strong as a Time Lord's. She wondered if it would be enough, as she reached out tentatively towards the blue box.
A wave of entirely foreign, delighted pleasure rolled out from the TARDIS. It was disorienting for a moment. The TARDIS didn't think remotely like a human did. For a start, there were a lot more dimensions.
The TARDIS' mental output reduced a little to allow her to adjust.
"Thanks," Phila said.
"Mum and Dad miss you awfully, you know," she told the ship companionably, putting her paint down for the moment, and standing to address it. "I mean, I know they're not actually Dad's memories, and he does too, but all the same."
Gratification, mutual fondness. Wistful.
"Right," said Phila, who thought she was getting the hang of this. "I'll let them know."
She took a breath.
"Listen, Dad said that if I asked you first, you shouldn't mind, but would you let me do something?"
Phila tucked hair behind her ear and smiled engagingly at the ship. She probably couldn't see it, but might as well use the gesture anyway in case.
"If it doesn't bother you, I'd like to paint something across your exterior."
Puzzlement and strong curiosity about small Human-Time Lady's words.
Phila said it.
For the next few minutes there was an indescribable feeling in her head, sort of bubbly and jangling and very amused.
Agreement. Much amusement and anticipation. Thought of Time Lord's – it was a possessive, somehow, identifying only the single Time Lord that was hers – face at the discovery.
Phila grinned back happily.
The TARDIS continued to laugh now and then as Phila painted words across the TARDIS doors in bright green paint.
After several minutes, she stood back to admire her work.
'THE DOCTOR IS A DICK' the doors now said.
"It's missing something," Phila said thoughtfully.
The TARDIS made a suggestion, but Phila didn't understand.
After a few minutes of exchanging words and mental impressions, trying to clarify things, Phila caught on.
"Oh, like a sarcastic touch!"
Pleasure at the intelligent child.
"I'm thirteen you know," Phila grumbled, trying to think what else she could paint, "I'm not a kid anymore."
Impression of her Time Lord – child. Impression of small Human-Time Lady – tiny!
Phila couldn't help giggling at the comparison, made with a lofty air.
"All right, I get your point."
Suddenly it came to her, and grinning widely, Phila painted a big smiley face underneath the lettering.
She stuck the brush back in the tin, feeling pleased with herself.
Phila frowned at the wistful hopeful thought that entered her mind. What did that mean?
Image of doors opening…
"Oh, can I?" Phila was delighted. "I'd love to!"
The TARDIS doors opened at her touch, and she walked inside.
She spent a good ten minutes looking around the console room exclaiming over things, before the TARDIS reminded her she was going to be late.
"Bollocks!" she exclaimed. She glanced around regretfully. "Suppose I'd better go."
Urging, moving, this way…
Phila moved, obeying the vague instructions, until she was right at the back of the room. She removed the small grating there, as prompted, to find herself looking at a small piece of what looked like coral.
Motherly love, pride, maternal feelings… Gift. Nurture. Feed – time/space rift, mental impressions…
It took Phila longer than usual to work through that one.
"This is your baby?!" she almost shrieked, staring down with huge eyes at the pulsing coral. "And you want me to have it?"
She blinked at how easily she'd understood the response.
"Well, if you're sure," Phila agreed wonderingly. "I'll take care of it, I promise. Is it a boy or a girl?"
Phila frowned. The TARDIS didn't really seem to understand the concept of male and female, not when applied to TARDISes, anyway.
"Thank you," she said sincerely. "I won't forget you. And I'll look after your baby."
Phila left the TARDIS, walking out into the cold night air and picking up her pain tin, the baby TARDIS tucked carefully into her jacket pocket.
"Bye then," she said, unsure what else to say, and began to walk back home, grinning at the thought of what the TARDIS' Doctor was probably enduring at the hands of her parents.
Hah. Served him right.
There was a flicker of confusion from the baby TARDIS, and she reached out to it with love and delight.