Title: I'll Always Need You
Disclaimer: Kripke's characters, except one. The OC is from my Drabble "One Word", which I would suggest you read before you read this. She didn't have a name there, she does now.
Drabble Challenge Word: "Fade"
Word Count: 1,468. YES, it's way WAY over. What can I say? This one got away from me, AND it's a birthday present for Indigo Night. Many Happy Returns! Hope there's enough Hurt!Sam here for you… although I'll be honest and say up front Sam's pain in this comes more from his heart than anywhere else.
Players: Go to Enkidu07's page, and you'll find all the usual suspects. Resistance is futile – you will be drabbleized.
Spoiler Alert: Set after "Sex & Violence". Totally AU, as in this is how I wish things had resolved themselves. Like I said, you have to read "One Word" for this to make sense. Think of it as a Birthday Scavenger Hunt. *Smiles*
Dean kicked the motel door open with a crash. He half carried, half dragged Sam into the room, all the while muttering a stream of obscenities.
Some were directed at his brother, most were directed at himself. He shouldn't have let Sam go in first, should have listened to the warning in his heart that this hunt was gonna go downhill fast. Just like everything else seemed to be lately he thought sourly.
The whole incident with the Siren had left their relationship stretched to the breaking point. Words had been said by both brothers that had wounded, wounded so deeply, and could never be taken back.
That salt and burn from a few days ago had ironically made him feel closer to Sam than he had in months. The one word spoken by the ghost still lingered in Dean's ears…
… but right now he was so upset that Sam had gotten hurt, that he'd LET Sam get hurt, he couldn't come up with any other way to deal with other than anger.
"Would you please explain to me just what the FUCK you were thinking?" He said as he placed Sam upon his bed, trying to check for any severe injures. That gash over Sam's right eye didn't look like it would need stitches, but it was still pretty deep. Sam tried to bat away his brother's hands, but the pain that was making his head swim made it difficult.
"W-Wanted to show you…" Sam's head was bowed low, hair spilling down, obscuring his face. His voice caught in his throat, and he turned his head away, refusing to look at his upset older brother.
"Show me what, huh, Sam? Show me WHAT?! That you could charge into a house that we both knew was haunted by a really violent ghost? Show me that you could get tossed down a flight of stairs?! Wanted…" Dean slammed his jaws shut so tightly he could swear his teeth were going to crumble.
"I-I wanted to show you…" Sam looked up through his bangs at his older brother, shame evident in his slumped posture. He felt the hot tears coursing down his face, mingling with the blood drying upon his cheek. "Th-that you could still trust me." A rueful laugh escaped his lips, then faded away, to be replaced by a choked sob. "G-guess I'm n-not a b-better hunter than you are, huh?"
Dean rocked back on his heels, reeling like he'd been struck in the face. His anger burned away faster than an ice cube in the sun, shock stepping in for ire. "Sam, what the -?" He reached out, but Sam pulled back, inching his way backwards up the bed. When his back touched the wall, he slumped forward, legs splayed out and boneless like a forlorn rag doll. He head shook back and forth slowly, and the pain on his face was breaking Dean's heart.
"Dean, I'm so-sorry," Sam whispered, his voice heavy with pain and self-hatred , "I'm not a b-better hunter… n-not a-a very g-good br-brother either…"
"Quit it, Sam! You're really starting to freak me out!" Dean jumped up and got a clean towel from his duffle, then grabbed a chair, sitting right up close to his brother. He began to wipe away at the blood and tears, also trying to check for a concussion. Why else would Sam be bringing up all this stuff unless he was hurt? "Is this still about all that crap we said under the Siren's spell? Dude, I though we were –"
"NO, Dean, we're NOT okay! Don't even say we are 'cause we're not! All those things I said to you… m-mocking you… what h-happened to you… I don't know w-where all that poison came from! I ju-just wanted you to hurt so m-much, and ever since then I've f-felt so…" He tried to pull away from Dean, trembling, as misery-filled sobs wracked his frame. "D-don't even know why you'd still w-want to be around me..."
Dean didn't hesitate; he quickly moved from the chair to the bed, gathering his brother into a fierce, protective hug. ""B-because you're my brother, y-you idiot! Because we're a-all each other's g-got!" He realized with a start that Sam wasn't the only one crying now; when had he started? Did it really matter? Once that floodgate opened, it wasn't going to stop. Sam resisted, but only for a moment. Then just like countless times before when they had been frightened, lonely children, he allowed his older brother to hold him, to try and soothe the pain that was greater than two people should be expected to bear. He wept against Dean's shirt, feeling his brother's own tears drip onto his hair.
"T-this needs t-to stop, Sam" Dean whispered, trying to calm both of them down. "All this needs to st-stop. The distrust, the blaming… I-I do trust you. I've never STOPPED trusting you, it's j-just that I worry so much about these fucking powers, about Ruby's influence on you… about me losing you. I c-can't lose you again, Sammy. I just can't."
Sam pulled away from his brother, turned around on the bed so he was facing Dean, who was now sitting with his back to the wall. He looked at him as he scrubbed the tears away from his eyes. A weak smile played around his lips, "You know what?"
"That's the first time you've called me 'Sammy' in a long while." He took a deep breath, and his smile became stronger, "I-I really kinda missed it. And I'm done with it. All of it. Ruby comes around again, I'm telling her to get lost or I'll send her back to Hell myself. It's not worth it." He wiped at his eyes one last time, and for the first time in so very long Dean felt like he was looking at his brother again, not some stranger in Sam's clothes. "Dean, I'm so sorry I said all that shit. Can you ever forgive me?"
"Only if you can forgive me." Dean held out his right hand. "What do you say we both admit we've been acting like…" he chuckled. "Well, Bobby would say like 'idjits'. Why don't we try acting like brothers again?"
Sam took his brother's hand in his, softly said, "Deal" and without a word pulled Dean in for another hug. Dean muttered something about 'too many Chick Flick Moments', but he made no motion to pull away. At least not until Sam muttered "Ow".
That brought Dean's attention back to the fact that Sam was still hurt. "Let's get that cut cleaned up, Little Bro." He picked up the towel, and began to once again clean Sam's wound.
Even though it hurt like a son of a bitch, Sam couldn't help but smile. He'd take a million wounds, it wouldn't matter; he had his brother back.
Outside their motel room, invisible to the mortal world, a young woman with flowing auburn hair looked in on the two brothers and smiled. She turned to the figure beside her, a handsome dark haired man in a tan trench coat.
"Are they going to be alright?" She questioned shyly. The man was also gazing upon the Winchesters with a fondness that he tried to conceal, but his intensely blue eyes gave away how deeply he cared for the two brave mortals.
"I believe that they are on the road to being the brothers they one were. It will not be an easy one, but they have made the first step. They have admitted that they caused each other pain, and have grieved for it. They have forgiven each other." He turned and gave the girl an approving nod. "They may not have done so without the…" he paused, searching for the correct phrase…"nudge in the right direction that you gave them."
"I-I was just going to thank them for setting me free, but they were both so very sad…." Her voice faded as she looked back in at the Winchesters. "I never would have thought one little word would make such a difference, but I'm glad it did."
"As am I." Castiel gently placed his hand upon her shoulder. "Now come along, Amy, it's time for you to receive the peace this world could not grant you. You have earned it."
"Will they get that peace?" Amy Simmons asked, as she began to feel herself heading towards a wonderful, serene place.
"One day, I hope they shall." The angel replied, as he guided the young woman's soul on to her eternal reward. One he fervently hoped he wouldn't need to guide Sam and Dean to for many, many years. They were needed here.
And they were also starting to heal here.
Becoming the brothers again the Brothers Winchester.
A/N: Happy Birthday, Indigo Night! *Hugs*