Title: Mundane Mondays
Summary: Wilson doesn't like Mondays. House strives to correct this.
Word Count: 562 words
Disclaimer: I only wish I owned House and Wilson.
Mondays, Wilson thought as he walked down the hall next to his best friend, suck. They are boring and mundane and House is more bored than usual. A bored House isn't usually an enjoyable experience. It means that bad things happen, sometimes to me.
Wilson was so lost in thought he almost didn't notice House had stopped. A couple steps ahead, Wilson stopped too and looked back at House, whose head was cocked to the side.
"What?" Wilson asked curiously.
House held up one hand in a 'stop' gesture. "Shhh. Hear that?" he whispered.
Wilson cocked his head too. Listening for what, he didn't know. "I don't hear anything," Wilson said after a couple of seconds had gone by.
"It's a bushtit."
"A bushtit?" Wilson asked incredulously. "You just make this crap up to drive me crazy, don't you?"
House ignored Wilson's accusations and grinned. "Cuddy is going to be so pissed."
"Pissed about what?" Wilson asked. Houses head was still cocked to the side and he was ignoring Wilson. "House?"
"Definitely a bushtit," House muttered distractedly.
"What the hell is a bushtit?" Wilson yelled in a annoyance.
House looked over at his friend, still grinning. "It's a bird," he announced happily.
"There's a bird in the hospital?"
House nodded and then took off toward the elevators.
"Where are we going?" Wilson asked, trying to keep up with the deceptively quick man.
"To see Cuddy."
"Ahhh," Wilson said, understanding. "Of course. This is just another ploy to get out of clinic duty then? Did you really even hear a - a whatsit?"
"A bushtit. And yes, I did. This ploy will have the added bonus of being true, so I won't even have to waste time coming up with a clever scheme. It will make Cuddy go insane to know there's a bird in her hospital. A very small and quiet bird."
Wilson sighed as they got off the elevator.
"This bird is the perfect ploy," House went on as they headed towards Cuddy's office. "Unsanitary and virtually impossible to catch. I don't know why I didn't think of this sooner," House added with delight.
Rolling his eyes, Wilson held open Cuddy's office door for House, who entered the room with a smirk. Letting the door close, Wilson followed House into the office.
"What is it now?" Cuddy said with exasperation.
Grinning, House said, "There's a bushtit loose in the hospital."
Cuddy sighed. "House, I don't have time for your games."
"Don't you want to know what a bushtit is?" House asked excitedly.
Cuddy glared over at Wilson as if to say, "This is all your fault; why aren't you distracting his in some other part of the hospital?" Out loud she said, "No, I don't care what it is. Go away."
House turned to leave, but carelessly over his shoulder he threw, "Okay. Just thought you would want to be alerted if there was a bird in your hospital." He then made a fast break for the door, which Wilson was already holding open.
Wilson looked back at Cuddy's disbelieving face and nodded to let her know that House was telling the truth, then followed House out.
"I don't think she likes you much anymore," Wilson observed as they walked down the hall, silently laughing to himself. At least Monday is no longer boring.
"She absolutely loathes me," House corrected gleefully.
A/N: I don't actually know a lot about bushtits, I just thought it sounded like something ridiculous that House would know about (it is a real bird though).