Title: Night of a Promise
Fandom: D. Gray-Man
Pairing: Kanda/Allen (hints)
Genre: Hurt/comfort… I guess?
Summary: Allen smiles and Kanda gets sick of it.
Word Count: 1966
Warning: Just some swearing. And a bit switching POV.
Disclaimer: Who would believe if I said I own DGM?
A/N: Hello, I'm not so new in this fandom but it's my first FanFic on DGM. First attempt at Kanda/Allen too, please be gentle, yeah? :D
Also, I'm not an English native, so please forgive any errors. I don't have a beta for this fandom yet XD;;
Oh, it takes place not too long after General Cross' incident, I guess ^^;; and so sorry for the lame title, I fail at titling T.T
- NIGHT OF A PROMISE -
"I see, so you've retrieved the innocence? That was fast," Komui's voice was heard from Timcanpy. "Good work! Now is late, so you three just rest and come back to the Order in the morning."
"Understood," Allen simply responded with a smile, before the conversation ended. Allen let out a sigh before taking a deep breath. He glanced at the mirror in his inn's room and for a split second, he thought he saw another figure when there was supposed to be only him in the room now.
He knew, of course, of another presence inside his head that threatening to erode his very existence. Seeing a glimpse of the fourteenth in the mirror made Allen want to break the glass, but before his intention could take action, the door to their shared inn's room creaked open, and Kanda stepped in. Allen immediately plastered a smile onto his face.
"Komui said that it's late so we should rest and leave in the morning," Allen informed Kanda before the Samurai even asked a word.
There was something unsettling in the way Kanda looked at Allen that made the white-haired exorcist flinched inwardly. If he didn't know better, Allen would've thought it was hatred that was directed towards him, but he knew it wasn't. As long as he had lived, he knew he was hated by many so he was particularly aware to any hatred directed to him. Even though Kanda was one of those who hated him at the beginning, somewhere along the line, Allen no longer felt hatred radiating from the long-haired male.
This time, though, Kanda's eyes were like trying to see through him, through his smile, and that made him stubbornly keep his smile intact. This, however, made Kanda scowled deeper and throw his gaze away while dropping himself to the inn's bed.
"Where's Link?" Kanda asked uninterestedly.
"He said he needs to take care of something and he'll be back soon," Allen replied lightly, busying himself with whatever little luggage he had with him.
Smirking mockingly, the long-haired Japanese commented, "Che, I thought he was supposed to keep an eye on you like some stupid watchdog."
"He's probably writing his report on me. And besides, he could leave because you're here, of course," Allen responded, and when Kanda threw him a kind of questioning glare, the younger boy lightly continued, "Because if it's you, he believes that if I were to try anything funny, you would kill me there and then."
Kanda made no comment to that, though he was somewhat bothered by the way Allen spoke of him being killed so easily like that; as though it was the most natural thing to say, to happen. And he said it with that fucking smile plastered on his face, too.
"Speaking of killing," Allen suddenly started and Kanda raised his eyes to meet those silver eyes of the boy standing between the two beds. "I've been thinking… could you do me a favour?" he asked.
Allen stepped back and sat down on the other bed, his gaze directed to the floor. "You know about the fourteenth, right?" he began, his eyes still staring at his shoes.
Kanda was silent for a second, remembering the time when Komui had informed the exorcists about it some time ago, then replied in a low tone of voice, "What about it?"
Allen glanced once more to the mirror, seeing the vague image of a figure grinning mockingly at him, and for a moment, he let his smile slip off of his face as he settled for a bitter frown.
"Even though I already asked everyone to kill me when the fourteenth takes over me, I think that maybe… they wouldn't be able to do it. Maybe it'll be too much for them, so…" Allen trailed off and he took a deep breath before raising his eyes to look straight into Kanda's. His lips formed a wistful smile as the words escaped him, "If I lose myself… when that time comes… make sure you would kill me, please?"
Kanda wasn't dense; he had expected the conversation would lead into this, but still, he couldn't help the widening of his eyes as Allen spoke of his request, couldn't ignore the persistent tugging on his heart, and he couldn't repress the grim expression that was creeping up his face.
"I know this is selfish, but really, I'd rather have youkill me than be killed by those people from Central," Allen continued, his smile was still there but it turned bitter as he threw his gaze downwards again.
Kanda was silent, and Allen patiently waited for the older boy to answer. He knew it was a serious favour he asked of Kanda, but Kanda was the only one he thought could do this, now that his master, Cross Marian, was… unavailable. The other exorcists might find it hard to kill Allen Walker, but if it's Kanda…
Allen wasn't indicating that Kanda was cruel, of course. He knew that behind that 'I-don't-fucking-care-for-you-morons' façade, the older exorcist was kind. He was the type of person who could kill people for their own sakes, and in a way, isn't it also a 'kindness'?
Hearing no response from Kanda, Allen raised his head to look at his companion, who, in return, was looking intently at him with an unreadable expression. But for once, Allen could see the mixed emotions dancing in those cobalt eyes; emotions that were foreign to Allen that he couldn't really decipher.
Wearing a rather nervous smile, Allen called out, "Kanda?"
Sighing, the long haired male replied, "When that time comes, I'll be more than happy to kill you, so you can stop smiling when you freaking don't want to! It's fucking annoying to see your fake smiles, Beansprout!"
Allen was somewhat taken back by the statement, but he quickly retorted, "And you can stop pretending you don't care, Kanda."
"I don't fucking care about you, damn it!" the samurai snapped.
Allen smirked and replied, "Yeah right, and I'm the happiest person in the world, that's why I smile."
The bitter edge in Allen's voice was not missed by Kanda. "If that was a fucking joke, it's not even funny," he said, and despite the swearing, the tone Kanda used was somewhat gentler, in the sense that he didn't yell.
As if encouraged by Kanda's comment, Allen's smile grew bigger and emptier. "So what, you want me to cry? Crying doesn't make things better; it doesn't bring Master back, doesn't change the fact that I'm bloody implanted with a Noah!" the British teen finally snapped, though ironically, he was still smiling, albeit only on his lips.
Suddenly Kanda stood up from his bed and approached Allen, while the white-haired boy could only watch in confusion. Once the older boy reached him and stood right in front of him, Allen just looked upwards, at that beautiful face adorned with frowns, without knowing what to expect.
So of course, Allen wasn't ready when suddenly Kanda punched his face, hard, until he slumped onto the bed, his head hitting the headboard.
Allen winced in pain, his left cheek and the back of his head hurting like hell that tears were welling up in his eyes. "What the bloody hell was that for, Bakanda?! It hurts damn it!!" he snapped, angrily glaring upwards to the face of the person who had just punched him right on the face.
Kanda just stared down at him, watching as the tears that had been welling up was now streaming down just a little from the pain the younger boy suffered. "You're right, crying doesn't help," Kanda started, and Allen halted in his attempt to hit the Japanese exorcist back. "But your stupid fake smiles are so fucking annoying and I thought some tears might actually do you good."
Allen didn't know why, but his tears started to flow heavier. Maybe it was because of the pain, maybe it was because he was angry at the older teen, maybe because of the things burdening him had finally taken their toll on him, or maybe… maybe it was only from the simple knowledge that Kanda actually did care.
"Damn you, Kanda…" Allen cursed weakly, bowing his head as he threw a fist which was easily caught by Kanda.
For a moment, both of them were silent, and neither of them moved; Allen didn't pull his fist back, and Kanda didn't let go.
"You know," Allen suddenly started, head still hung that his bangs were covering his eyes from view. "Master was a jerk," he continued, "he was such a big jerk, he treated me like some bloody slave. He was really, really evil…"
Kanda kept silent, letting go of Allen's fist as the other pulled back his hand.
"He had known about the fourteenth all along, and yet he kept silent… I felt betrayed, damn it! And yet…" Allen paused to wipe the tears from his face, though the effort was futile for the liquid wouldn't stop flowing. He took a deep breath, and continued, "… and yet I know… I just know that he cared for me… He couldn't just… just die like that, right?"
The young exorcist felt heavy; his head, his heart… he needed something, someone to lean on right now, and so he leaned forward until his forehead rested on Kanda's lower chest. He could feel the taller boy stiffened for a second, before a pair of hands landed on both of his shoulders. Allen thought Kanda was going to push him away, so he decided to pull himself back, but to his surprise, Kanda's hands on his shoulders forbade him to pull back; they were keeping him in place.
"General Cross' death hasn't been confirmed," Kanda softly said—as soft as he could manage anyway, which sounded more like he was sulking—and Allen almost smiled at the awkward tone the other was using.
"Yeah," the white-haired boy responded weakly, finally letting a smile formed on his lips as he felt warmth radiating from the hands on his shoulder. It was the closest to a hug Kanda would give him.
After a while, Allen pulled back as he felt a little bit better, that the heavy burden in his heart had been lifted even just a little. He smiled up at his companion, and said, "Thanks, Kanda."
"You're so damn troublesome, Beansprout," was Kanda's response.
Allen's smile got wider as he caught the subtle hint of blush on Kanda's face. Funny, he thought, how the other boy seemed so awkward. Comforting was never Kanda's forte. It was for Lenalee, and maybe Lavi. Allen had never thought Kanda, of all people, would comfort him—though it seems, Kanda's idea of comforting involved a punch. But Kanda did make him feel better.
Somehow, the thought made Allen feel warm.
"Well, too bad but you'll have to bear with me, Bakanda," he playfully retorted, to which Kanda responded with a smirk.
It was the closest to a smile Kanda would give him, and yet it was enough to make Allen felt that he wasn't alone. Allen knew that when morning comes, their interactions would probably back to square one, acting as if none of these had happened, because that was just the nature of their relationship. But at least he knew—and he was sure Kanda did too—that the faint understanding between him and Kanda was growing just a little bit better. It made Allen feel warmer, stronger, that he could keep on walking forward. Knowing even that Kanda was somewhat supportive of him, Allen thought that maybe, it was okay to put on a little hope of a brighter future.
At least, until the inevitable comes, then he'd give his life for Kanda to take.
A/N: The idea just came out of nowhere and I just had to write this down. Uuh… was it weird? Too OOC? I'm sorry if it's weird. I'll try something more light-hearted next time (I dearly hope there would be next time!) For now, I'd be very happy if you'd let me know what you think of my first Kanda/Allen fic, so please review! Con-crits are also welcomed, thank very much! :D