Chad Dylan Cooper had a routine. He got to set at 10. Usually they shot two scenes in the morning, the first was typically one of his onscreen ex-girlfriends trying to drive a wedge between him and his new love, or him and the stepbrother he never knew he had, or him finding out his sister was really adopted and developing feelings for her. The second usually consisted of him fighting with his rival from James Creek the next town over. Then at noon, he left for his two hour lunch.
You might say no-one really needed two hours for lunch, especially in Hollywood, and you'd be right. Chad Dylan Cooper never used to take two hours for lunch. In fact he'd seldom even left the Falls in order to get it, he'd just sent Portlyn to go pick him up something unless he had a date. That was before though, when the only thrill the cafeteria held was the possibility of finding one of Brenda's, the extremely manly lunch lady's, hairs in your food. And he didn't do hair, unless it was his own.
Then something had shifted, Sonny Monroe had come to television. Admittedly, the first time he'd seen her she'd been in a fat suit, and he'd stolen her frozen yogurt because Portlyn was sick that day, so he'd been forced to walk all the way to the cafeteria and get his own. And then she'd melted in his hands like putty when she'd come to the Falls. Which made her the equivalent of every other girl in Hollywood. Still, she was kind of cute, even if she was a member of the hated So Random! team.
But then, she'd bocked him. Which wasn't dirty or anything, she'd just acted like a chicken. Most people would see it as a turn off, but the thing was…no-one of the opposite sex had ever challenged him before. Tawni Hart was the only other one who dared to stand up to him, and a bag of rocks was smarter than she was, so it wasn't hard to defeat her in an argument. Sonny, though, Sonny was smart. And funny. And cute. And she could light up any room just by walking into it. The only thing was, she was also infuriatingly not interested in him.
That didn't stop him from trying though, he waited there everyday for her to get done with whatever sketch she had. She usually came in around 1:00 but she could be earlier or later depending on how much time she could stand to spend in her dressing room with Tawni and when Beavis and Butthead came in to eat their stupid slop.
This time she came in alone, a few minutes late, looking around nervously. He smiled, getting up from his seat at the head of the table to go and retrieve his meal. Which, given it was Tuesday, was steamed clams flown in especially for them from Cape Cod. He had planned to walk by her table, honestly, but she looked sort of…sad. So he sat down, "Sonny," He offered shortly.
She looked up at him, her brown eyes seeming startled, "Chad," she nodded, playing with her hands. "What are you doing?" She snapped her head up and looked around, "Is there a camera in the room?"
"Always with the funny," He rolled his eyes.
"So you admit I'm funny," She smiled smugly, and his chest did this weird…fluttery thing. Outwardly he grimaced though, and got up to head over to the lunch line.
She followed him, "So are you going to the Teen Actor's Guild Awards this weekend?" She asked, suddenly back to her usual good mood.
"Why, are you planning on making yourself look good by making me America's most hated jerk throb again?" He glared at her, picking up a tray.
"No, I think once was enough," She smiled to herself. "Not that you make it hard or anything. I just heard you got nominated for Best Actor in a Drama."
"I did indeed," He smirked, "I've won three years running."
"So you aren't worried about that guy who plays Ricky on Secret Life of an American Teenager?" He'd never noticed that she got a crease in her forehead when she frowned before, not that he cared.
"Huh?" He asked, he'd honestly missed her question.
"Oh, I see, you don't even need to justify that with a ridiculously ego-filled answer it's so absurd," She rolled her eyes as Brenda served him his heap of still steaming clams.
"Of course not, I mean," He gestured to himself. "Look at me."
"Uh-huh," She mumbled, and she was indeed staring at him lustily. Finally! He had concurred her, but what did he do now? Did he kiss her? Or did he make her take off her shirt? Or maybe did he just make her suffer like she'd made him? So what if it was unintentionally. He still wanted revenge…He was Chad Dylan Cooper, damn it!
"You guys have clams today?" She mumbled, licking her lips, unintentionally making him even more hot and bothered. And he felt like doing something extremely childish, like kicking her in the shins and running away. He didn't though, Chad Dylan Cooper didn't do temper tantrums. He just fired people, and he really doubted firing her would help…the fluttering.
So he resorted to revenge, "Yep," He grinned, "Specially imported from Caped Cod. They have the world's best clams, you know."
"I know," She muttered, breathing hard. It was kind of sexy…sort of maybe….in a really unsexy kind of way. "I went there once on vacation, boy do I love their steamers…" She was practically begging him, wouldn't it be nice if he could push her over the edge though?
"Oh yeah, they're great aren't they? Especially soaked in butter….Mmm…" She nodded, still staring at them. "Why? What are you having?"
She looked up at him, and then away, "Um…so who's your date for the TAG Awards?" He looked over to where Brenda was standing, Sloppy Joes. Emphasis on sloppy.
"Oh, no-one." He'd actually been debating between getting up the courage to ask her and having his people call Ashley Tisdale's. "I'm just gonna find the hottest girl there and then invite her to my party."
"What if she already has a date?" Sonny snorted, looking over at his castmates.
"What? You think Dean has a better chance than-" He pointed at himself, "-all of this."
"You're right, what was I thinking?" She rolled her eyes.
"Exactly…so who's the poor sucker you conned into going with you?" He smirked, taking a step closer to her. Poor girl, once she broke down and admitted she didn't have a date he'd gallantly swoop in and offer to take her. And then no-one could dare accuse him of liking Sonny Monroe. They'd just think he was saving the day, being the-
"David Henrie," She answered, and suddenly he felt the chocolate strawberries he'd been munching between takes coming back up.
"What?" He swallowed. There was no way she could be going with David Henrie, Selena Gomez had rejected him last week. Did that mean she was hotter than he was? No, that was ridiculous, but still.
"Oh, don't get me wrong. We're just going as friends, he made that clear. He sent me a bouquet of yellow roses this morning," She was doing that stupid, giggly smile-talking thing he hated. Oh god, he hated her.
"Roses?" He asked, in what he could only hope was his usual nonchalant manner.
"Yep, but yellow ones. And yellow, yellow means friendship." Oh no, that meant that Taylor Momsen really hadn't been hitting on him at the Grammy's. Just like Sharona said.
"Uh-huh," He shoved the clams at her, "I'm gonna go, talk to…intelligent people now."
Sonny was staring at the clams though, "You don't want these?"
"No, no," He shook his head. "Seafood diets are out."
"See you on Saturday!" She called after him, all smiley and giddy. And why shouldn't she have been? She had clams and David Henrie! And what did he have? Great hair…but also no date, and no roses! He somehow stumbled his way over to the Falls' usual table as Sonny walked happily out with his clams, a little hop in her step. He took his seat at the head.
"Why do you look all…sweaty?" Portlyn asked, leaning her head back and forth to study him.
"Talking without a script, Portyln!" He yelled, banging his fist down on the table and making his cast jump.
"And why are you all angry?" She further inquired.
"Because you kept flubbing your lines in that last scene!" He embellished, he actually was pissed about that. It had taken them an extra twenty minutes to get done because she was swooning over Zac Efron's picture on their Banned Wall when she should have been studying her script. And he, he was perfect all the way through like usual. He looked t see a piece of paper in front of her. "What are you doing?"
"Playing Mash, wanna try?" She said excitedly, clearly she hopped he'd add her to his list of potential wives. As if, he wasn't about to bump Ashley Tisdale for her.
"No thanks, I don't have time for child's play, you know," He snorted, leaning back smoothly in his chair and almost forgetting about Sonny and her stupid date with stupid David Henrie…almost. "I'm a serious actor."
"Oh, and we're not?" She mumbled, looking hurt. And suddenly everyone else at the table suddenly looked angry with him too. Maybe Portlyn really wanted to disappear in that ballooning accident.
"Okay, fine," He sighed. "One quick game."
"Alright," She quickly scribbled down the header. "Names of three girls you could marry."
"Ashley Tisdale, Hannah Montana, Miranda Cosgrove," He rattled off, staring at his finally shaped cuticles.
"Who're you choosing for the reject?" Dean looked over her shoulder. "Oh, come on!"
"No, it's a surprise," She smiled. Oh god, he should have made Dean do it…she'd gone and picked herself.
"Is it Lola Luftnagle?" Samantha asked, leaning over.
"Ew, no," She wrinkled her nose, "Worse."
"No way…is it Tawni?" She guessed and they giggled.
"Tawni's not bad," Dean shrugged. Please, like they all didn't know he was into her.
"Uh-huh," They mumbled, and went on with their list going through, cars, jobs, kids, and honeymoon, one-by-one. Finally they asked for a number.
"15," He answered easily. It was his favorite, the total number of letters in all three of his names. His back ups were 4, 5, and 6.
Portlyn started striking through the list rapidly, crossing of a Porsche here and a vacation in Paris there. Then she ticked off the last choice and held it up. "Chad Dylan Cooper will live in a mansion," Please, that was a no-brainer. "With Sonny Monroe," He choked on his soda. "He will be an actor, and they'll have a Lamborghini," At least one, he automatically corrected. "They will honeymoon in the Bahamas, and will have one son and no pets." Oh my god, Chad Dylan junior, just like he'd always wanted. "And this is all true," He pushed himself up from his chair.
"Where are you going?" Portlyn inquired, standing to follow.
"I think I might be sick." He mumbled. Oh how the mighty have fallen.
AN: This was fun. I do hope they get Chad Dylan junior, it just seems like a Chad thing, doesn't it? To name a kid after himself. Alright, next chapter will take place at the TAG Awards. And someone will be playing Truth or Dare.