A/n: I'm not sure how this will sit with some one you. However, judging by the fact that Kyouya did virtually the same thing only with slightly less violent words to Tamaki's dad in the manga I think this is ok.]
No one looks at me for a long moment when we go back inside and close the door. The room's gloomy atmosphere is reflected on everyone's faces as they look at the floor solemnly. When my father finally speaks his voice is cold and controlled.
"What were you thinking, letting those words slip through your lips?"
"He wanted a poem, and that's what I gave him." I say coldly, my gaze obstinately fixed on the floor. Akito, I can tell, is ready to punch me in the face.
"Do you have any idea what that stupid poem implies about our family?" he snaps. My gaze turns to him angrily for a moment before I look to Tamaki for support.
"Kyouya... that really wasn't a good idea..." he says sheepishly.
"Kyouya!" Akito shouts again. I glance at my father, who's looking at me disappointedly.
"You know what it implies? The truth- this is all a sham." I snap.
"Oh really? You really don't think we care?" my father asks, something like anger and betrayal in his normally cold eyes.
"I know you don't." I say. There's venom in my voice. He knew. He knew. He knew. He knew... The words are an angry mantra in my mind. I want to scream at him even more than I already have, but I force myself to hold my tongue. At least until-
"Don't you think we wish we could have known sooner what was happening?"
"YOU LIAR!" I scream. I make a lunge at my father, ready to claw his eyes out, but Tamaki grabs my waist.
"Kyouya calm down!"
I've never lost control like this.
Do I care? No. Should I? Probably.
"You knew the whole time! It couldn't have been more obvious that she was sleeping with me! You kept leaving me in her care and alone whenever she wanted! Just the slightest hint and you abandoned me with her! I know you knew! You-"
Tamaki drags me backwards, pulling me onto the couch. My gaze turns to Akito, who's staring at me, scandalized.
"And you! You may not have known anything at the time but that doesn't excuse you right now! You are the single least helpful, most obnoxiously self-centered asshole on the face of the planet!"
I glare at my father, fury radiating from every pore of my body. I want to kill him. All of this is his fault. All of this...
He's quiet- very, very quiet. He looks down for an infuriating moment, then up at me.
"You have no idea," he says cooly.
My eyes narrow into slits, "Explain yourself," I snap. Tamaki's grip on me tightens, hoping to keep me sitting down on the couch and away from my family.
"She had more than a decade of confidential and compromising information on me. If she released it we'd be ruined. She didn't directly ask anything of you, I thought she was just feeling the pangs of growing old and desperate to hang onto the notion of being a young mother. I thought she was babying you. I didn't think she wanted that from you." my father says slowly. His eyes are tormented for a moment before his mask falls back into place. He sounds sad, as if he is speaking of someone lost to cancer. His explanation, however sincere, is only fuel to my fire. He turns his back to me.
"So you chose wealth over my safety."
"I didn't think she would do anything."
"I didn't want you to get hurt."
"I thought it was for the best."
"You thought wrong."
Irritated now he says, "I don't have to justify myself to a child. You have what you have because I look after you."
"I'd rather be a commoner than a rape victim."
I adjust my glasses against my face. Tamaki and Akito are silent, watching our battle of wills play out.
Finally, my father turns and hisses, "What do you want from me?"
"I want an apology."
He looks at me hard. It's not going to be hard to apologize, but to say what I want will be nearly impossible.
"What I did was inexcusable. My negligence cost you your innocence as a child and caused you to suffer now as an adult. I'm very sorry." he says solemnly, "I ignored the signs that she was hurting you in favor of keeping our family's place in society where it is."
I don't believe you.
"Fantastic," I growl as I look at the floor. I still hate him. I still want him to drop off the face of the earth and die for what he's done. However, this is a battle that I have won and I know that continuing to tamper with it will only make the situation worse. If I leave it be he should also.
"Your turn." he says.
"For what?" I growl, still staring angrily at the floor.
"To apologize for what you did. What you said out there was very bad press."
"I was only telling the truth."
"I told you to lie."
"Well, your very good at that now aren't you? Lying is your forte, yes?"
"Kyouya, you disobeyed me. Now apologize."
"I'm sorry I told the truth." I say. Autopilot apology... just do as he says. He's irritated that I don't back down and glares at me for a long moment. He wants to say something more, I know, and he wants to punish me.
But now is not the time for that.
"I have to call our press manager. To your rooms, all of you. Tamaki I ask that you take your leave now. If anything, you will be contacted somehow." he says dismissively, taking out his phone and gesturing to the door quickly. We disperse, Tamaki giving me a furtive kiss on the cheek as he leaves. We pause in the doorway, an awkward silence enveloping us.
"Be careful ok? I'm glad you've stopped bottling your emotions up but try not to spray us all with them like pepsi..." he says after a moment.
To which of course I can only respond, "I don't need a metaphor to understand your point Tamaki. I've got things under control."
We both know it's a lie. It's obvious that I'm falling apart at the seams. Tamaki hugs me, his arms curling around my neck as he stares at me, pity in his eyes.
"If you need to talk... don't take it out on reporters ok? Talk to me, or your sister... or maybe even your father..."
"I'm not talking to my father. I've said all that I have to say to him." I reply sullenly, "I don't even want to see him now."
"He said he was sorry you know. He honestly seems to feel bad."
"He's a liar."
Tamaki scowls and lets me go, crossing his arms, "You're lucky you even have a family."
"You'll notice that aside from title I've gained nothing from them."
"They love you."
"Akito looked ready to punch me and my father sold me out to save his career."
"You have your sister-"
"Who I have trouble being in the same room with now."
"Who's never around."
"You're still a family, and even though you're mad at them now you still have to love and depend on them at the end of the day. I mean, my grandmother is rather cold and isn't very nice to me but I would never hurt her in any way. My father too, even though he teases me... and at least you get to see them all the time. I only see my father at school, I rarely see my grandmother and my mother is in france somewhere. Even through all that we're still a family and I still love them. You have to look past what they've done and look to the future together... Because when your world crashes down who else can you turn to?"
I tilt my head, glasses glaring fantastically, eyes cold as ice, and consider that for a long moment. It's true, my oldest brother and sister do care for me a great deal. I do care for them as well, my sister especially. As for Yuuichi, I do enjoy talking to him when he is around, though I still try my hardest to surpass him. Akito has never treated me with anything besides derision. My father and mother should burn in hell.
I know I'll have Tamaki, at least.
"I can turn to you. Besides, Tamaki, this isn't a normal situation. This is something out of a movie or book. This is ridiculous."
"Kyouya I can't be with you all the time. Can't you try to make peace with your family?"
"Not right now."
The wound is too fresh.
Tamaki sighs, and takes my hand, "You need closure."
"I need everyone to back off."
"You need to stop hiding."
"Leave me alone Tamaki,"
I pinch the bridge of my nose in irritation with my free hand as Tamaki stares at me, "Tamaki, I'm just not ready for that yet."
We stand in silence. I know that we should go our separate ways for the day but I can tell that he's not through speaking to me. He takes my other hand in his and looks into my eyes as best he can through my glasses.
"When can I tell the others about us?"
An arrow to my heart- or maybe a bullet to my brain. I don't have the energy to deal with that mess now too.
"They can't know."
I nod, serious. To come out of the closet now could kill my reputation forever, especially after what had only recently happened with my mother.
"But I love you! And they're dying to know what's happened…" he trails off, the fleeting hint of romanticism still fresh in his twinkling eyes.
"There are too many risks. Our reputations, our standings in our families…"
"What about the host club?"
I think about it, my brow creasing under the weight of the decision. I owe it to Tamaki to let him do this, but I just don't have the energy to deal with any unexpected results. Still, for him to have not told Haruhi, the only person who knows him as well as I do must be torture. They are worried; they are curious...
"They're our friends… they know us better than anyone…" Tamaki says, his eyes begging. I sigh, and nod.
"Tell Haruhi, she can tell the others." I say softly. His eyes light up like sparklers, his grin stretching across his face. He hugs me the way he did just after we'd met, nuzzling my cheek affectionately.
"Perfect!" he says happily. I don't feel any of his enthusiasm. I'm just drained.
Someone get me off this crazy train.
I realize he's noticed my exhausted expression for he looks on me with serious eyes.
"It's going to be ok," he says.
Liar, I think to myself.
I usher Tamaki out with a promise to call him if something happens. Turning to leave, I see my brother staring down at me from the second floor landing. He glares at me, disgust etched into his features.
"I should have guessed." he growls as he turns on his heal and returns up the stairs.
That night a family meeting is held. My brothers lounge on a couch with my sister, while my father sits calmly in an armchair. I perch on a love-seat. The atmosphere is gloomy, and tense. I can't meet eyes with Fuyumi.
"What happened today will never happen again." my father says seriously after a moment. I lock eyes with him, head held high. Bite me, "From now on we must have every step carefully calculated."
He looks at me sharply and says, "And these plans will be followed to the letter."
Again the phrase 'Bite me' comes to mind as he continues. "I've arranged everything with our lawyer. All you need to do"- looking at me- "is say exactly what you said to the police."
He turns to my siblings, "You all are charged with playing the roles of the outraged and horrified family members. It shouldn't be hard, given how devastating this truly is."
Fuyumi twists her hands in her lap, her perfect poise broken for once, and asks, "Couldn't you make this sound less like a... lie? For all this to happen, and so fast, it's just horrible. We're all genuinely upset... I mean, Kyouya, and our mother... it's just so-"
Akito cuts in, "We know. This all just objective. We can't all follow our heart's every whim like you two can."
No need to ask which two he was referring to. Yuuichi turns to Akito, "Calm yourself. No need to jump down anyone's throat."
My father clears his throat. He continues, his cold voice cutting the tension in a room like a knife. "The case is made. However, we need to prepare for anything they might throw at us."
Yuuichi shifts in his seat and asks calmly, "Do we know what their planned defense is?"
"She's pleading innocent with the defense that she is not of sound mind."
"That might actually work," Akito interjects unhelpfully.
"But it's clearly a lie. She planned well enough to have me kidnapped and flown across the Pacific Ocean. No one who's lost their mind could do that." I respond immediately, thoroughly unsettled by the idea of her walking free. Even sending her to a mental facility is too light a punishment for her...
"That's what we're claiming. The defense seems at a loss. This is obviously a case no one would want to take. He's a good attorney, however, so we should be prepared for him to have another ace up his sleeve." My father explains coldly.
"This seems simple enough to deal with." Akito says after a moment, "Kyouya will never have to see her again and she'll be out of everyone's hair."
I frown, annoyed that he'd just spoken of me as if I were not in the room, "Father, what can we do to make sure this insanity plea won't be effective?"
"You could start by telling me where you and Tamaki were that night you came back in the middle of the night." my father says suddenly, "And also why the Suoh boy has been doting on you so much."
I look away, glaring, eyes shielded by my glasses. "We met at the school soccer field. I was angry, and he's my best friend. I needed someone to talk to, which is why he's still here."
Akito gives me a look akin to 'yeah right' and crosses his legs in an irritable huff.
"Why not tell the scholarship girl, Haruhi?" my father asks.
"Tamaki and I are closer."
Again Akito gives me a look, an obvious 'get lost, fag,' scrawled across his features.
"You're closer than I thought," he says quietly, with no malice evident in his voice. I shrug, and he does as well. Eyes locking, we exchange a silent battle of wills.
"Boys-" my father cuts in, frowning distastefully at us, "irrelevant. So there's no way they could use that against us, I suppose. Other than that the only problem is that our only witness is also a coconspirator and is currently dead."
In my head I can still see the man lying on the ground in a pool of his own blood. Inwardly, I cringe, "It doesn't matter. Our case is strong and the judge isn't likely to be lenient when it comes to a woman accused of child abuse, rape, and murder."
The others nod, agreeing with my point. My sister raises her voice for a moment to question, "What do we do after the trial?"
All eyes fall on me as they consider this. Akito holds his tongue, though I'm sure he wouldn't mind having me sent to a mental institution. Yuuichi suggests I stay at Ouran and attend a therapist on a weekly basis, if only for appearance's sake. He suggests one that he knows, a friend from a rich family he'd met at university. My father agrees to take this into consideration. Fuyumi says I should transfer to a new school where fewer people know me, in the hopes that it will help me rehabilitate. I object to this wholeheartedly, saying I can handle any pressure from my peers. I suggest staying at Ouran High and insist that I can handle everything without therapy. The others look at me skeptically. Akito looks at me as if he's about to laugh at the idea. Yuuichi looks skeptical but shows no outward signs of being against it. Fuyumi just looks at me with guilty doubt. Her lack of confidence in me is vaguely depressing.
"We'll decide this later..." Yuuichi says after a long moment. I nod, and my siblings voice their agreement. We all look to our father, eyes asking permission to leave.
"Kyouya, you'll be meeting with the lawyer tomorrow. To the rest of you... stay in the city, and behave yourselves."
We disperse. I feel Akito's eyes on me with each step I take.
[A/n: so this chapter's like... almost 3000 words long. Wow. Erm, I'm going to finish this fic... (it's like my child, seriously) but I really am suffering from a lack of inspiration here. Please, please, if you're still reading this, tell me what you think. I'm sorry if it's really bad... i'm having trouble getting back into Kyouya's character.]