Pre-Comment: Well, hellooooooo there.

Enjoy Chapter Fifteen!

Chapter Fifteen: Because It Amuses Me

CC was beautiful. There was no other way to describe her. She was also elegant and graceful in such a way that made all other girls look clumsy and homely in comparison. Girls like CC must be the envy and focus of spite for the entire female species. Of all time. The way her name complemented her rack added an extra something, and whether that was a bonus or detriment depended on who you asked. But, as the case is with all incredibly beautiful women, it meant that she was capable of incredibly horrible amounts of evil.

The way she grinned at him, simply pleased as punch, with her chin resting propped up in the palm of both hands, said it all.

Suzaku glanced up at her nervously, looking away from his breakfast. CC's eyes were wide, excited, and sparkling with utter joy—as if she had just come across the most fantastic, wonderful, amazing, nothing-this-good-will-ever-happen-to-you-again discovery of her life. It was the same look a little kid—who had a tendency to set things on fire—might have when something incredibly flammable had been placed in front of him with a lighter.

He was not flammable in any way.

Gleaming golden eyes just as much said: You want to bet?

Breaking eye contact, Suzaku took a long drink from his cup of Minute Maid™ orange juice. And then he looked back at her.

"What are you doing here?" he finally asks, trying not to sound presumptuous, confrontational, or irritated even though he was all of those things and more.

She had just been sitting there, staring at him all morning as he ate his breakfast. And if CC were any less pretty, it would've been creepy. Well, no, it was still creepy, but definitely more tolerable.

Giggling, her grin grew wider. "What are you doing here?"


"Vacation. With Lelouch," he answered curtly.

She tilted her head in an 'Is that so?' way.

"Vacation. With Clovis."

Tearing a piece of waffle off with his fork, he put it in his mouth and chewed slowly. Thoughtfully. Swallowing, he answered, "I see."

Her excitement was palpable. "So you see."

Suzaku stared right into her eyes and he could see himself in them—trapped like a tiny bug in the amber resin. Small. Insignificant. Pitiful. Her plaything. The thought made him look away. CC probably knew everything; from last night to this morning, her attitude had taken three lefts, and a two-twenty-five. Clovis, the blonde man Suzaku had spilled his dirtiest, darkest secrets to regarding his relationship with Lelouch, had no doubt confided in CC everything. Everything everything. The knowing look in those eyes of hers said as much. And as Lelouch's closest friend, CC would no doubt tell Lelouch everything everything.

And that meant that everything had just been made worse by a factor of infinity plus one.

Trying to ignore the unnerving stare, Suzaku focused on his plate. He was tired from a lack of proper sleep and didn't want to deal with her. He didn't return to the room he shared with Lelouch, and instead got a separate one for the night. And when he woke up early for breakfast (mostly because he had nightmares of sharp objects being thrown at him by an angry mass of pure evil chasing after him complete with matching red eyes), CC had spotted him from the lobby and took up the seat opposite him, grinning like mad.

Finally fed up with her attitude, Suzaku polished off the rest of his breakfast, chugged down the rest of his orange juice, and gave her his sternest, most business-like stare—reserved for the stiffest and most hard-pressed of his business associates that refused to just back down and go away.

"Is there something I can help you with?" he asked, all business.

"Is there something I can help you with?" she parroted right back, completely unfazed by his intimidation tactic, making it sound like an offer, and wagging her eyebrows.

Suzaku let out a controlled, exasperated sigh.

CC let out one of her own.

"I don't appreciate this behaviour."

"I don't appreciate this behaviour," she repeated, sitting back in her chair to fold her arms in mock offence.

Suzaku frowned.

CC pouted.

"Stop that."

"Stop that!"

"I'm warning you."

"I am totally warning you!" she mimicked, putting her hands on her hips.

Without further ado, Suzaku slammed a bill on the table to pay for breakfast, got up, and left. The quick scrape of a chair told him that he wasn't leaving alone.

"So what's the plan today, Straighty McRuler Pants?" she asked, walking after him, hands clasped behind her back, looking like the definition of excitement.

Suzaku paused mid-step to turn and narrowed his eyes at her. "What did you just call me?" he asked sharply, pulse racing.

She giggled and amber eyes absolutely sparkled. "Do you prefer Leads Him On?"

Suzaku's eyes widened and his heart sank as all his fears were confirmed. "I just—! He's—! It was a—! I didn't—!"

"How about…" she trailed off, tapping her chin in thought, "I Do It For Fun?"

His only response to that was to whine in his throat in frustration, hoping against all reasonable hope that she would just stop.

"I could also call you—"

"Okay, stop! Just stop!" Suzaku sighed, holding up a hand in a meek request for mercy. "I… It's not what you think."

CC faked a swoon, "I only wanted less fan mail!"


"Okay, so it's exactly what you think."

Her grin was feral.

Sighing, Suzaku ran a hand through his hair. "Yes, it's true. It's all true. I'm straight and he's… he's not." And then a thought struck him. "Could you… uh… I mean…" Suzaku sighed. "Would you be willing… to help me fix this? Sort things out? Get me out of it?" he asked, shoulders slumping in defeat.

It was a good idea. She was his best friend; they lived together; if anyone could convince Lelouch of anything it was probably her. She could convince Lelouch that he was the biggest jerk on the planet (which was exactly how he was feeling) and get Lelouch to leave him of his own free will. Everybody wins. She could do it.

CC just stared at him and blinked prominently, as if the wheels in her head had stopped altogether. There was a tense moment of silence, and the flicker of hope that she would— "Haahahahahahahahahahahahaahhahahaahahhahaahahahahahahaahahahahahahaha!"

Doubled over.

Sharing her amusement with the floor.

Suzaku wiped a hand over his face, resting it over his eyes, using all his willpower to suppress his frustration—reminding himself that the thoughts running through his head at this moment would result in several felonies if acted upon. "Please stop."

It took several moments for CC to calm herself down instead of continuing on the floor rolling around, but eventually she did. Letting out a deep breath once the last of her giggles died, she smiled at him from the ground. "No."

Could help, not would.

All things considered, he had no right to ask for her help, but it didn't melt his frustration over her response to it. "Could you at least tell me how he really feels about me?"

Her eyebrows shot up incredulously, and she sat up. "Oh, Lelouch is SO in love with you, you have NO idea. I've never seen him this flustered or embarrassed over someone since Mao. He won't ever admit it, but you're all he thinks about." A pause. "Day and night," she added with a wink.

The subtlety was not lost on him.

Suzaku's eyebrows knit together in frustration and he marched away from her angrily.

CC scrambled to her feet and followed.

"I don't even think he realizes it, but you're all he talks about these days. And he's been so much happier since getting together with you."

Suzaku walked faster.

"He was so worried in the beginning, about how the relationship would work out. I told him that you were a good, honest—" Flinch. "—man, and encouraged him to just go for it!"

Suzaku grit his teeth.

"When you asked him to marry you I had never seen him happier! Just about cried from happiness when he got home and told me. Kept me up all night practically planning the wedding right then and there."

He stopped and wrung his hands in his hair, letting out a low growl. Her jibes weren't entirely unjustified—all things considered. But did she have to be so downright irritating about it? There was rubbing salt in a wound, and then there was feeding it into you by an IV drip. He had never met anyone so irritating before. (Well, there was Kaguya, but she was family, so he really tried not to count her.) Was CC always like this? Or was it just him? Did she find this—yes, of course she did. That much was plainly obvious.

How did anyone put up with her?

CC's grin grew impossibly wide and it looked like she was on the cusp of breaking out in another fit of seizing, cardiac-arrest-inducing laughter. "I wonder what Lelouch would say about all this?"

Suzaku's eyes widened a fraction.

Uh oh.

"He's here, too, somewhere. And rather than speculate," she said, turning away from Suzaku.

Determination shone in her eyes.

"Don't," he warned.

"I think I'll just go find out for real~"

And just like that CC had gone.


Suzaku swore and ran after her.


Although she would never admit it, Kallen found herself a little lonely and angry—and then angry at herself for being angry. It hadn't been Gino's fault that his crazy boss needed him to skip out briefly for work, and she had already told him that he should go and take care of things. Gino had just about insisted that he stay with her, but she had counter-insisted that he go. It would be better for them both if it wasn't hanging over his head. She wouldn't mind. She would be fine on her own.

Except she did mind and she wasn't fine.

A part of her was frustrated that he had the nerve to actually leave.

But then another part of her was completely okay with him gone.

Women's Logic 101.

Only Fs given there.

So in lieu of waking up alone and feeling miserable already, she had slipped into the two-piece she didn't have the nerve to wear around Gino and was now ogling herself in the mirror. Milly had picked the thing out (which was enough of a red flag to warrant burning the thing) to grab Gino's attention; red with white trim, it matched her hair and was impossibly cute. And, contrary to everything Milly Ashford stood for in fashion, it was modest enough that Kallen didn't turn bright red when she first saw it. Nodding satisfactorily that every clasp and tie had been done up, Kallen pulled on the matching slip and made her way down to the pool.

The pool was surprisingly empty and Kallen set her things to the side and climbed up to the high-dive board. Taking a swan dive off the board, Kallen relished in the rush of cool water engulfing her as she swam underwater all the way to the edge before surfacing in one of the shallower seating areas. Finding a sunny spot, she relaxed and settled down, stretching her legs out before her lazily.

And on the warring state of her psyche in the matter of Gino staying vs. Gino leaving, she had found peace.

Only to have it shattered in the very next instant with a loud scream.


There were no words for what he was feeling right now. Well, there were a lot of them, but he didn't have the breath right now to utter any of them anywhere except in his mind—which was full of incredibly violent thoughts and a newfound, intense hatred of lime green.

After she dashed off (good God could that woman run) Suzaku had spent the rest of the morning chasing after her. Reason and logic told him that she had no idea where Lelouch would be—it was a big resort—and that the chances of her finding him were slim to none. But that little voice in his head just went: Chase after her, Stupid, bad things will happen if you don't.

And so he did.

CC slipped around the corner from him giggling like mad, and he gave chase down a hall that led to the pool area. He finally had her in his sights where she had stopped, and jumped for the tackle. She yelped in surprise. As Suzaku's arms wound securely around her, his mind cheered in success.

But then he realized why CC had stopped running because he noticed the large pool of water behind her they were now falling into as a result of his momentum.

Oh Mother.

The deep water swallowed them up and the shock of chilled water made Suzaku let go of his quarry. Taking the chance, CC propelled herself forward by boosting herself off Suzaku's face and took a substantial lead, starting a furious stroke to get to the edge of the pool closest to the exit into the endless stretches of sandy beach.

Not giving up, Suzaku quickly recovered and took off after her after regaining his bearings. Despite her substantial lead, he caught up with her by the time CC reached the sandy edge, and thanked the three years of being Ashford's swim team ace with every fibre of his being right now. She had barely taken her first few steps of escape before Suzaku tackled her again to the ground, bracing them both against the warm sand.

Panting to catch her breath, she sighed in defeat and Suzaku caged himself above her to prevent escape. He glared at her as she rolled over onto her back underneath him and caught her breath, draping one arm over her eyes to shield from the sun.

"Finally caught you," Suzaku declared somewhat victoriously and out of breath.

CC just smiled and sighed again. Sliding her arms up and around his neck, she pulled him down lower so he had to rest on his elbows above her. The closeness made him aware of the somewhat compromising position, and how he could feel her namesake pressing lightly against—

So not the point right now.

(But definitely a bonus.)

For a few precious moments, they just stared at each other. And as he stared into liquid golden depths that promised only mischief and utter ruin, he was once again made aware of just how beautiful CC was. It almost could've been romantic the way they were staring into each other's eyes, with her playing with his curly hair and him hovering over her like a sex-predator of some kind.

You know, if not for the sex-predator part.

And then, in the most seductive, sultry, and absolutely sinful voice—

"Like being on top, soldier?" she whispered.

The slyest of smirks twisted her lips.

Suzaku flushed all the way to his ears and his eyes grew impossibly wide. Caught in the redness of her lips and the clarity of her eyes, Suzaku found himself pulling towards her like a magnet and—

"Suzaku Kururugi!"

—spell broken.

He pulled away from her enough to be resting on his hands again and looked up into the furious blue eyes of… of…


This wasn't good at all.


Should he be worried?

It was hard to say. He wanted to be worried, but the freedom and sudden independence had done miraculous things to his ability to care. And the fact that every luxury offered at this resort was not only free, but at his fingertips, was something he wanted to enjoy by himself for as long as possible. All he had to do was drop Suzaku's name and everyone bent over backwards to give him what he wanted. It made him want to care even less about what Suzaku was up to. Or where he was up to it at since Lelouch hadn't seen him since last night when he took off like the road runner.

After Suzaku left last night, he cleaned up the disturbing favours (whichshallnotbedescribedhere) left by hotel staff the night prior, and soaked in a long bubble bath before having a fitful sleep. Alone. He then woke up—alone—to cheerful hotel staff serving him breakfast in bed by Suzaku's request. Idly, as he cut into the spread of fruit and waffles topped with fresh cream, he wondered if every morning would be like this once he was married to Suzaku.

It made him seriously consider staying marr—


Ah, Lapses in Judgement, sometimes they just sneak right up on you.

But, seriously, this treatment was nice.

And after breakfast Lelouch had wandered into the spa for a massage that should've been illegal right up until noon. It was only when he woke up, feeling incredibly relaxed and slightly drowsy did he realize he had fallen asleep during the massage and the masseuse had to shake him awake lightly, clearly amused and a little flattered.

But as he ate lunch alone, his thoughts started to catch up to him and then came the worry. While it was nice to be alone, and away from someone who wanted to sexually assault him every five minutes (yesterday notwithstanding), the independence was disconcerting. Why was Suzaku being so nice to him? Why wasn't Suzaku trying to touch him anymore? Where had Suzaku slept last night? Where was Suzaku now? And, most importantly, after months of this ridiculous road of sacrifice, when would he see any of the money?


Due to the strange and unexpected behaviour yesterday, Lelouch had fallen back on his usual tactics, hoping that maybe they would work this time in light of all this weirdness from Suzaku. And since Suzaku was definitely a man, Lelouch had an idea of what went through the average man's mind during an engagement—even if that engagement was to another man. And there was only one thing that gave him pause when he was about to break a woman's heart in the past. Even if that pause lasted only for a second. Half a second, really. He was slowly building immunity to the feeling of remorse. (The money always softened the blow.)

So he popped The Big Three. Naturally, there were equally big consequences of popping The Big Three, and it was truly difficult to determine whether those consequences were better than the weird behaviour happening now. But instead of consequences, weird got downright bizarre.

Well, his chastity was intact, so it could've gone worse.

What was wrong with Suzaku? Did something happen? Did he find out or didn't he? Should he give CC another call and ask for advice? What did you do in this kind of situation? If Suzaku were a woman…

Lelouch gave a tired sigh.

If only Suzaku were a woman.

As all these thoughts and questions buzzed around in his head Lelouch didn't notice the familiar face approaching his table until it plopped down in the vacant seat across from him. He had to do a double-take to believe he was seeing who he was seeing. And blink a few times.


Clovis beamed. "Little brother!"

Lelouch blinked. "What are you doing here?"

Pout. "Is that all you can say? We haven't seen each other in years!"

A twinge of guilt pricked Lelouch's heart. His mother had said the same thing. And at the thought of the rest of his family Lelouch felt a bit more guilt. He didn't really intend to stay away from them for so long, it just sort of happened that way. It wasn't that he didn't love his family (and definitely not a case of the reverse); it was just that they were sometimes, uh, difficult to deal with. Yes. Difficult was the word for them. And not traumatic. Or life-scarring.

But he felt guilty all the same.

Flushing in embarrassment, Lelouch called a server over and ordered Clovis a drink and got himself a new one. "Sorry, how have you been? What are you up to these days? Still painting?"

Blue eyes brightened. "Yes! I opened a gallery back in Britannia. It's doing exceptionally well. Schneizel said it would sink like a rock, but I was able to stick it to that smug face of his." Clovis sighed. "But his stocks had gone up remarkably well that year. And because it's Schneizel all he did was smile at me, pat my head, and say 'Good boy!' Like I was a dog! A dog, Lelouch, a dog!" he exclaimed, pounding a fist on the table.

Lelouch smiled sheepishly at him in sympathy. Though they didn't have all that much in common in terms of interests and hobbies, in regards to matters concerning their older brother, Lelouch didn't have anyone closer. Some of his fondest childhood memories were of Schneizel being, well, Schneizel to Clovis. Especially that time Schneizel made Clovis cry for the first time.

That was something he would never forget.

"It's good that your artwork is doing well. So what are you doing here?"

Clovis smiled brightly and sighed in delight. "Well," he started, like a teenage girl just about to share particularly juicy gossip, "I was in Japan—Tokyo to be exact—looking at some of the local artwork to gain inspiration when inspiration found me! Oh, Lulu, she's the sweetest, fairest, most even-tempered angel I have ever met! It was love at first sight! I began courting her immediately. I swear I heard the heavens sing in that very moment. Every second I spend with her is pure bliss! She's kind, considerate, caring, understanding, and would make Venus green with envy! What I feel for her can't be anything short of love!"

If only CC were like that, Lelouch thought bitterly.

"She sounds like a wonderful person, I'm glad it's going well," Lelouch said sincerely.

"Speaking of which, while I was in Japan I thought I saw you on TV once."

Lelouch stiffened. "Is that so?" he asked, voice rising an octave higher.

"I only caught the kiss part, and didn't see the face, but the hair was longer, so I thought to myself: Unless Lulu is dressing like a woman, there's no way it could be him! Laughable that I mistook you for a woman, isn't it, little brother?"

"Completely!" he quickly agreed.

They both laughed in hysterical unison and Lelouch thanked every God, saint, and deity (including the ones he made up) for this small grace.

"Although you could quite easily pass for one, and I'm sure all that experience you have from Euphemia and—"

Clearing his throat to cut him off, Lelouch changed the topic, "So where is this wonderful angel?" He glanced around as if she would just appear.

"Oh!" Clovis had always been easy to sidetrack. "Well I have some work matters to finish so we had to regretfully part ways while I go complete it. I was just about to leave when I saw you! Sooo tell me! Who is my adorable little brother here with? Where is she?"

Lelouch froze.


It was only natural this question came up, but Lelouch had lacked the foresight to prepare an appropriate answer for it since he hadn't expected to meet anyone he knew here. And really, 'I'm here with a gay man to win his love so that he may lead me to mine,' was probably not an acceptable answer. By any standard. He had to cave when it came to his mother (who wasn't about to tell anybody for the indignity of it all), but he was not about to tell Clovis.

Clovis would tell his sisters, and then his sisters would tell Schneizel, which was already bad enough, and then Schneizel would tell their—

All-the-expletives-ever no!

That chain of events would only happen if Lelouch was dead.

But a thought struck him: Clovis could help him decipher Suzaku's cryptic behaviour as of late. He wouldn't go into any details (like how Suzaku was a man)—that would be suicide. Clovis was a bit of a romantic and had taught Lelouch some of the general points about women, so it couldn't hurt. And he normally would ask CC these questions, but CC wasn't here and Clovis was, and Clovis would probably give better advice than her anyway.

At least he hoped.

"Well… you see… ah… she has been acting odd lately, and I don't know what to think about it."

Concern creased Clovis' brow. "Oh, Lulu. It sounds like she's about to break your heart!"

Lelouch blinked. "What?"

How Clovis came to that conclusion after listening to a single sentence of explanation Lelouch would never figure out, but it was a conclusion worth paying attention to. It made his heart stop thinking about all that money he would be losing access to. He could practically hear the dollar bills crying, 'Lelouch! Don't go~ We looove you!'

The money was crying! Why was the money crying!? He couldn't let the money cry!

His pulse raced and Lelouch felt himself panic a little. "What do you mean? Explain."

Huffing, Clovis folded his arms, frowning. "Well, she's obviously cheating on you," he said with some finality. By the tone of his voice Clovis already had a bad opinion of 'her.'

"But the other day we spent a whole day in town! There was never any indication! We laughed and smiled and bought things!"

Things Lelouch may attempt to liquidate for money later on.

Clovis let out a wistful sigh and gave Lelouch a pitiful look. "Oh, Lulu, you love her don't you?"

"Love is a word for it, yes."

Among many others.

His brother made a pained noise and looked away from him, staring mournfully out at the scenery of the nearest window. "Has she ever said the words to you?"

"Plenty of times. I, uh—yesterday was the first time I said them to her, in fact."

Clovis let out a shuddering breath, as if it were physically painful. "And she started acting strange before or after?"

Lelouch paused to think.

All of it had been strange, really. Suzaku had been unnaturally nice the whole day, which was strange enough in itself. And then there was what happened when they got back to the hotel room and there was no molestation of any kind. Suzaku had simply turned sheet-white and skipped out as fast as his legs could carry him.

"Uh… a bit of both."

Clovis slammed a fist on the table, making their drinks shake. "Lulu! She is most definitely cheating on you with someone! The strange actions means she's feeling conflicted over it! She obviously doesn't want to break your heart, but she also no longer loves you!"

All at once, the world stopped spinning.

Nooo~! Lelouch we looove youuu~! Don't give up on us~!

Oh God the money.

Lelouch hung his head in a catatonic state. All the pain, humiliation, suffering, and sacrifice he went through would all go to—would all be for—

And suddenly it all made sense: The cancellation of the wedding; the strange behaviour; the surplus of gifts in a single day; the lack of sexual harassment. Like a light bulb had suddenly flicked on, Lelouch suddenly understood everything.

Suzaku was cheating on him.

That ass was cheating on him!

Nobody ever cheated on Lelouch!


Lelouch wasn't going to stand for this. He wasn't about to let all his hard work on this job just go to waste because he sucked at pretending to be gay. He wasn't about to let the money cry!

Standing up suddenly, Lelouch startled Clovis, who had looked unsure of what to say for a moment. "Sorry, Clovis, you'll have to excuse me I've got to make an important phone call."


One of them picked at the discarded food wrapper several times before moving away to the much more glorifying find of the half-eaten hamburger a child had dropped in the sand earlier. And then another swooped down to share in the findings, but the first one was having none of it. Joe, as she had affectionately named him, was hungry though, and began to squabble over the greediness of the one to find it first. Sam was bigger and could scream louder, but Joe didn't look daunted in the least.

They fought each other for a moment before Sam eventually left, deciding that the hamburger wasn't worth the trouble when so many other scraps of uneaten food were available along the shoreline.

"—listening to me!?"

CC looked away from the seagulls she had been observing for over five minutes to look into blazing blue. "Huh?" she replied, utterly bored, eyes possibly glazed over.

Seagulls were the seashore equivalent of vultures—and just as, if not more, vicious. This was the conclusion CC had come to while being sat down and downright scolded by none other than Kallen Stadtfeld. And 'scolding' was a nice way of saying 'screaming their faces off until her face matched her hair.' Unlike other people she could mention that would make the colour wheel vomit, the redness of Kallen's face only heightened her physical appeal.

CC being CC, she had graciously allowed herself to get caught by the angry redhead and proceeded to block out everything she said from then on. Occasional glances at Suzaku, and that increasingly guilty look on his face, told CC that the boy was taking Kallen's verbal lashing like it was a metal-barbed cat-o-nine-tails.

And then she grinned, remembering everything.

This would be a vacation she would never forget.

Kallen snapping her fingers in her face drew her attention away. "I swear. You're so insufferable. How could you two do this to Lelouch? I can't believe you'd do this to him! Aren't you his best friend? And you—" Kallen changed targets again, making Suzaku flinch.

CC rolled her eyes and looked back at the half-eaten hamburger, dismayed when neither Joe nor Sam were anywhere to be seen.

Standing up, CC stretched out the kinks, ignoring Kallen's mortified look. "I'd love to stay and feel guilty, but I have places to be, and people to find," she added, giving Suzaku a sly look. His eyes widened and his mouth opened, but shut tightly when Kallen followed CC's gaze to glare at him.

"Hey! CC!" Kallen yelled, shaking her fist at CC as she started walking away. "Come back here!"

CC looked over her shoulder and winked at Suzaku. "See you around, soldier," she said seductively, giving him a wink and blowing a kiss.

Suzaku coloured and quickly looked away.

Kallen's eyes bulged and she looked from Suzaku to CC and back again and began another tirade of lectures and yelling. The fiery redhead normally didn't let her quarry escape so easily, but, well, CC was a special sort of person.

And she was also hungry. Watching seagulls peck at a half-eaten hamburger for the better part of half an hour in the hot sun on a hot beach had taken its toll. On the flip side, she was all but completely dry after that unexpected dip in the pool.

Deciding that it was time to indulge in her first and last love at the buffet tables, CC made her way to the restaurant and proceeded to order every kind of pizza on the menu. It had only been a relatively short week of knowing Clovis, but the fool had already given her more than enough information to make off with thousands. So the plan had been to enjoy the luxuries of the resort before making off with a hefty pay day and return to a miserable Lelouch.

But now Lelouch was here.


For now, she needed a change of clothes because she was not only still slightly damp, but sandy. Upon entering the suite, she heard the unmistakeable buzzing of her phone that she rarely used. Lelouch had insisted she bring it along with her, so she did. He had thrust it at her and mumbled something about calling him if anything happened. Touched, she took it along.

The phone stopped buzzing and she picked it up, checking the—


Someone's panties were more than just twisted.

The phone started buzzing again in her hand and she nearly dropped it in surprise. Answering the call, she barely got out a 'Hello' before this assaulted her:


CC blinked. "Uh… waffles!"

Lelouch drew in a few shaky breaths and calmed himself. "I've been trying to contact you for a while now! This is an emergency! I've come to realize that Suzaku is cheating on me! What do I do?"

Her eyes widened. As much as CC got a kick out of what Lelouch was going through to get all that money, and as doubtful as she was that it would be successful, she wasn't about to let all their efforts in this go to waste. So she—

Oh, wait a second.

Because Suzaku was never gay! Right from the beginning! And that meant this whole operation was doomed! Right from the beginning! He was only doing it for entertainment because he didn't think that Lelouch was—

Wait just another second.

Because Suzaku totally did now!


The double-revelation of it all was enough to give CC cardiac arrest from all the excitement.

She could barely contain herself.

On the verge of skipping the hysterical laughter stage and going straight into hyperventilation.

The possibilities.

"CC? Are you there? Did you listen to a word I said?"

Coming back to herself at the sound of his voice, CC cleared her throat and her head, shaking all the giddy out of it temporarily.

"This is important, Lelouch," she said slowly, adding emphasis, "because everything is riding on this, so listen to me very carefully. And under no circumstances are you to question the directions I am about to tell you."


I know, I know, I'm the most terrible person on this planet. At the rate I'm going this story will finish in 2025. So, I've decided that I'll be going on a monthly update schedule. This means that, at least once a calendar month, you'll know I'm still alive. My goal is to finally finish this thing this year. (And everyone said: Huzzah!)

Honestly, I never thought I'd make it past Chapter Five. And if I were to be more honest, I never thought this would garner attention beyond, like, fifty reviews, never mind the mind-boggling number it's at now. So, instead of being struck dumb, I thought I would take this moment to be sincerely nice to you all, and sincerely thank you all for the encouragement, begging, whining, violent threats (well, maybe less so), and general dedication and loyalty you've shown the story, if not necessarily me (I'm such a terrible person after all). If you've been sticking with me since the beginning, well, you have more dedication than I do. Without all your support I never would've gotten this far. (This is a subtle hint to you that moar reviews means feeding my ego, which in turn means that my ego makes me write moar so it can be fed moar.) So thank you. Really. I'll even say it again: Thank you! And I'll also try to be, er, more interactive with everyone—answer questions, correspond, that sort of thing. As long as you don't ask about the plot (hahahahplotwatplot) I'll tell you anything.

As for the winner from the thing last Chapter, who wanted to remain anonymous since I told them I would make fun of them, they humbly requested a "Knight by Conscription" chapter update instead of a one-shot (and my entire being breathes a sigh of relief). So I guess you can all expect that some time in the near future. They would, if they could, rename it: "For the Love of Money." A runner-up would be Kimiosiki with "The Art of Gold Digging." And since you're the runner up, you're spared from any kind of making fun of to be had here.

Please [*this part looks blacked out*] continue to worship, adore, love, feed me reviews, sell me souls, promise your firstborns, offer up your bodies etc.

- Minute Maid

Beverage of Queens.

P.S. If you're interested at all, I've been cheating on "Liar Liar" with an original piece called, "Mitch, Witch, and the Duck." You can find it on my fictionpress (when I get it up there, that is).